The following day after school, the members of the Pretty Boy Detective Club gathered in the art room as agreed. Strictly speaking, I─having not learned my lesson the previous day─attempted once again to escape, but was captured all too easily by the lethal combination of Mr. Bare-Legs and the delinquent.
Two straight losses.
Never mind my membership in a detective club and the whole “Mayumi the Seer” thing, I ought to do something about this hopelessly twisted personality (the one that makes me not want to go somewhere the moment I’m actually invited) purely for my own sake─but anyhow, there we were around the table.
The door to the crawl space was still hanging open, and the thirty-three paintings were still lined up neatly in rows─and the ceiling mural, too, quietly awaited its completion.
“Well then! Let the presentation of theories begin! I haven’t the slightest doubt you will entertain me royally, lads!”
The leader made no attempt to hide his effervescent excitement─but to be honest, my confidence started to waver in the face of such high expectations.
To calm myself, I took a sip of the tea the delinquent had poured me.
“Ptooey!”
I spit it out. It was too delicious.
Wasn’t this supposed to be a blend he made specially to suit my lowbrow palate?!
“Woops, my bad. Got ’em mixed up,” the delinquent said calmly, wiping the table clean with the practiced hand of a seasoned waiter, using a cloth he just happened to have at the ready─the sure sign of a premeditated crime.
Was this my punishment for trying to escape two days in a row? Or maybe he was getting back at me for being too flip with him lately?
Either way, I was reminded of just how terrifyingly foolhardy it was to make an enemy of the guy in charge of the food─though thankfully, the whole thing had the unexpected benefit of releasing a bit of my tension.
None of the other members showed any real sign of nerves, least of all the delinquent, who seemed quite cheerful now that he’d had his revenge.
Mr. Bare-Legs was lounging upside down on the sofa in his signature pose, his beautiful legs on full display, while as always, the child genius’s blank face displayed no hint of his thoughts.
As I gazed at him, I started to wonder if I’d been overthinking the situation the day before, and maybe he really did just want to get on with the mural─as for Sakiguchi, well, I suppose he seemed quieter than usual.
Nagahiro the Orator typically acted as master of ceremonies when the whole club gathered, but this time he seemed to be hanging back.
Or was I imagining things?
I was probably just feeling guilty that only last night I’d been talking on the phone with his sworn enemy, the one and only student council president of Kamikazari Middle School.
Or maybe that was just what I wanted to think, because whenever Sakiguchi was acting weird, it meant something bad was coming down the pipeline─but anyway, after the delinquent waiter finished laying the table with an English-style afternoon tea of scones, fruit, and sweets, it was time to present our homework assignments.
I figured there would be some question as to who would present first, but that didn’t turn out to be the case.
“I’ll take the liberty of starting with myself! Please listen quietly as I present my deductions! I’d hate to rain on everyone’s parade by solving the mystery straight off, but if I do, I hope you’ll all shout ‘Cowabunga!’”
Sotoin surprised me by taking the initiative to go first─though maybe I shouldn’t have been so surprised. Whatever it was that made him lead the charge at times like these was precisely what gave him the generosity of spirit to lead this group of problem children.
I’d love to follow his example, if that were the kind of thing a person could emulate.
…Although the quality of his reasoning was another matter entirely.
“Yesterday, we concluded that the thirty-three paintings lined up over there were historic masterpieces recreated without the people, but I have since reconsidered. What if the opposite were actually true? What if the paintings we discovered yesterday were made first, and the famous masterworks on display at museums around the world were based on these canvases sitting here before us?!”
For a second my mouth dropped open at his outrageously bold theory, but then I came to my senses and thought, No, not a chance.
Sorry, no “Cowabunga!” for you.
Not that I’d have said it anyway, since I’m not a surfer.
True, the canvases had aged quite a bit thanks to their poor storage conditions, but there was no way they were centuries old. My guess was they were a decade old, at most.
On the off chance─the off off off chance─that these paintings actually had inspired various historic masterpieces, what would such valuable items be doing stored together in the crawl space of a random middle school?
“I commend you on your superb deduction, Mr. President. Such a twist brings to mind the epic reversals in the classic mystery novels of yesteryear,” announced the heretofore reticent Sakiguchi, applauding as he spoke─though while you’d never guess it from his matchless voice, I’m fairly sure he didn’t mean it as a compliment.
It almost sounded like he was making fun of the leader.
But the staunchly loyal vice president wouldn’t make fun of the leader even if hell froze over, so I guess Sakiguchi had just reacted reflexively, like his attention was somewhere else.
Then again, it was also somehow unimaginable that the vice president would listen to the president’s deductions (no matter how off the mark) with anything less than his full attention… So was he up to something after all?
I could only hope it was a merry surprise…
“Thank you, thank you! If so many artistic innovations did indeed originate here in this very art room, then I, as president of the Pretty Boy Detective Club headquartered here, would be filled with pride. My only regret is that my theory does not explain the absence of the Mona Lisa from this collection, but if we assume that Leonardo da Vinci once studied at this very school, then everything falls into place.”
Falls into place?
Falls to pieces is more like it.
His whole theory was built on ridiculous logic!
Forget built on, it was illogical from top to bottom─at the same time, though, our leader did set an example by boldly presenting his daydream of a theory without the slightest sign of embarrassment or shame.
You could also say he did us a favor by lowering the bar.
“Well, let’s withhold judgment till we’ve all presented our theories─anyone mind if I go next?” the delinquent volunteered.
Normally, Sakiguchi would have been the one to save face for the leader with a smooth segue like that─but even if the councilman and the bossman were the fiercest of enemies outside the art room, inside it they had each other’s backs.
I’m not saying I had a problem with the delinquent going next, of course.
I was secretly hoping his argument overlapped with mine─because then I wouldn’t have to present mine at all.