Chapter 12

Why had I followed her? I didn’t even have the time to think that, because the woman in the kimono, a complete stranger to me whom I’d just watched…kiss Umi Mizuike, broke the kiss and sprinted to the park entrance, which was where I was standing. I couldn’t process what was happening, so I just stared blankly as she zoomed toward me, as if kicking the distance between us with her bony knees and sweeping it away with arms that seemed too big for a person so elegant. “Good evening!” she said cheerfully, after sliding to a stop right in front of me. Her sudden arrival was accompanied by a floral fragrance I knew only too well. Mizuike stood riveted to her spot in the park, astonished by her companion’s sudden actions. I’d followed her to this park in an unfamiliar city only to witness a scene out of my nightmares. And the worst nightmare of all gave me a little wave, smiling. “Evening!” Shut up. When I’d thought she was watching me earlier, it hadn’t been my imagination. The only conclusion I could come to felt like a cold stone in my stomach—aware that I was following them, this woman had kissed Mizuike to rub it in my face that Mizuike was hers. Hot anger welled up in my stomach, making my cheeks burn. Mizuike ran over to join us, and her eyes widened when she saw me. “Oh…” Of course, she’d never expected me to do something so stupid as tail her to the meetup with her date. Inside, I was squirming. It had never crossed my mind that she would know. Even if I had taken that into account, I probably wouldn’t have been able to come up with a good cover story anyway. My brain cells refused to cooperate, and I drew a blank. “Why…?” Mizuike began, but then her eyes narrowed suspiciously, and she changed her question. “You followed me?” Not wanting to admit the obvious, I stared at my feet in silence. “What did you want? Just…what the hell…?” Mizuike didn’t seem sure what to say, distrustful of and confused by my motivations. The last thing I wanted was to have to explain myself to her. I had a reason for following her, a reason I didn’t want to disclose. That was when the kimono lady decided to stick her nose in. “You’re Umi’s roomie,” she said. So Mizuike had told her about me. Mizuike glared at me angrily, but just as she started to snarl at me like an aggressive dog, the kimono lady shushed her, putting her hands on Mizuike’s face and pulling her lips into a smile. Mizuike’s words came out as “Hihi.” “Let’s not spoil the mood on the day Umi’s dream came true.” Mizuike was struggling against the forced smile, but the lady’s calming tone did have an effect on her. She eventually settled, making a cute little noise that might’ve been an attempt to say “okay.” Satisfied, the kimono lady released Mizuike. “You followed Umi because you were worried about her, didn’t you?” the lady asked with a smile, looking into my eyes. I couldn’t decide if I should feel angry with her. She was smiling so easily at me, even though she didn’t know me—or maybe she did, from whatever Mizuike had told her about me? I just couldn’t make sense of her behavior or guess how I should respond. “See, Umi? No need to be mad at her,” she added in the sort of tone a mother might take with a child. And now she was throwing me a bone. I felt so weak and pathetic. “I’m…not mad at her.” “Hmm, no, I think you are. Isn’t she?” the lady asked me in a chummy tone which just made everything worse. This whole damn time, she’d been all smiles. Did she think this was funny? Was she enjoying it? I’d known her only for a few minutes, but I could already tell that despite her gentle manner, she was a piece of work. “Well, what shall we do now?” she asked, gazing at the city lights in the distance. What was there to do? I had argued with my roommate and then secretly followed her to her meetup without any semblance of a plan. There wasn’t anything I wanted to do… No, I wanted to do something. I had to, or I’d go insane. Problem was, I had no idea what to do. Mizuike was short to begin with, but the way she was hunching next to the kimono lady, she appeared especially small. She turned her face away from me and was studying the ground, determined to avoid my eyes. Somehow, that annoyed me. Not that she had done anything wrong—she hadn’t—but the hostility was getting on my nerves. Like, yes, from her perspective, I was a rude intruder who’d ruined her date. But still. I wondered what someone might think if they saw the three of us hanging around outside the park entrance so late. What if someone peeled off from the shadows and came up to us? “I was planning to take Umi to a hotel.” “Uh… Huh? Um…” I really didn’t know what to say to that. “Oh, we’re not doing anything naughty tonight—I promise.” “Don’t tell her stuff like that…” Mizuike covered her eyes with her hand. I noticed the corners of her lips were trembling. I wanted to hide my face in my hands, too, but I felt it was my duty to keep glaring at the woman. “Or would you like to go home with your friend?” the lady asked Mizuike, who glared at me and shook her head. She was definitely annoyed. “Sorry,” the kimono lady said to me. She was still smiling, but not in a gloating way. I knew Mizuike wouldn’t have chosen to go back with me, but my heart was throbbing painfully as if Mizuike had punched it. “Money… You’re paying her for it…” was what I coughed up incoherently, as if in delirium. The kimono lady knew immediately what I meant. She nodded. “I am indeed.” “But…we’re a couple now…,” Mizuike added quietly. “Ah, right!” The kimono lady seemed almost surprised, and Mizuike looked up at her reproachfully. “You already forgot what we talked about a minute ago?” “Of course not! I was just a little embarrassed to admit our relationship to your friend.” “Embarrassed? You?” “Hey, even I get embarrassed sometimes. For example, when you tell me how you’re passionately in love with me.” “I’ve never said that… Or wait, did I? I’m not so sure now… I don’t even know what I say these days…” Mizuike covered her face with her hands and rubbed it with her fingertips. Her ears had gotten so red, I could see them even in the dark. “Argh… I did say somethin’ to that effect…” “Is it coming back to you now?” “I sure wish it wouldn’t…” The kimono lady’s laughter was like pretty little bells ringing. “…” Listening to their little back-and-forth, I realized Mizuike had forgotten I was there. I felt painfully redundant. I felt like I was unraveling. Starting from the fingers on my left hand, I felt like I was turning to threads that were coming apart until nothing of me remained. But even as I felt like I was disappearing, the kimono lady turned to speak to me as if it were the most natural thing. “It’s very late now. If you’d like to, you could stay with us. What do you say?” Stay? Where? “What?” Both me and Mizuike were stunned by this crazy proposal. If common sense was like a major road, this lady was a person who kept to the back alleys. “You’re Umi’s roomie, so I’d like to get to know you better. Why don’t you stay for a sleepover?” She smiled, as if oblivious to how outlandish what she was saying was. Seriously, would anyone in her shoes invite me to stay with her and her girlfriend? And where? At a hotel? The three of us, together? What on earth made her think I’d want to come along? Even if I did want that, who’d invite a nosy third wheel to a night with their date? “Ms. Chiki… What the hell are you saying?” Mizuike couldn’t make head or tail of it, either. “You wouldn’t want your friend to return home, only to stew in the not-so-nice experience she’d had, would you? She came all this way to check in on you, after all. Why don’t we see to it that her little journey ends on a good note?” Was this lady unhinged or cruelly shameless? In any case, she wasn’t normal. Why on earth had Mizuike chosen to fall in love with this person? It wasn’t that I was jealous, or that I wanted Mizuike for myself. This woman was one big red flag. I had to be on guard around her. “You’re makin’ even less sense to me than usual,” Mizuike complained. “Oh? Less than usual? Do I usually not make sense to you?” “I mean that…it’s hard to understand you.” “I consider myself to be pretty straightforward. What you see is what you get.” The kimono lady patted Mizuike on the head and turned to me. The choice was mine. “Would you be okay going back by yourself?” she asked, as if she was worried I might get lost on the way home. “I’ll be fine…” This woman was odd. She said and did the most ridiculous things. But she made me question myself. What was waiting for me back home? I could let her take Mizuike away and disappear into the night. I’d turn around and retrace my steps to the station by myself, slump onto a train seat, so exhausted I’d feel like I was fusing with it, and let the train carry me back to my town. I’d amble home in the darkness, sweating from the summer heat that didn’t let up even at night. My mother would probably yell at me for having gone out so late without telling her. I’d have no energy left after that, so I’d just go to my room without even taking a shower, lie down in the middle of the floor, and sleep like the dead. In the morning, Mizuike would return, smelling even more strongly of that floral scent. Every single moment, from turning away here until the morning, would be absolutely miserable. I’d rather be dead. It would be over. I probably wouldn’t ever find the strength to try reaching out toward Mizuike again. Or take any action whatsoever in relation to her. The attraction that had managed to sprout in my heart was doomed to wither without having ever basked in the light of hope. And I would have no one to blame but myself.