Chapter 29

“Now that I think about it, that man’s been controlling Rim’s actions this whole time. She just did what he said and kept fighting… Maybe if I was more assertive, she would have stayed the Rim I knew instead of becoming Ghost Deadrim…” Deadrim had changed. She’d learned to enjoy battle more than when she was alive. “I… I couldn’t do anything. If I’d just told her not to change…” His consciousness grew hazy. Isuna’s voice gradually weakened. “I want you two…to achieve it…” “……” “The two of us won’t make it. But you two…might still have a chance…” Isuna trailed off, lacking the strength to finish that sentence. He drifted off into weakened slumber. “Rain, how’s your wound?” Air entered the hut and immediately asked that question. “I don’t think it’s gotten any worse, but it isn’t any better, either.” “Right…” Rain tried to lie to her. Air had only stepped out for a short while, but the bandage on his wound had visibly reddened. It was obviously worse. Air didn’t point out the fact he’d lied, though. “I’ll remove the bandages and wash them. It’ll hurt, so grit your teeth.” “It doesn’t hurt that ba— Babababa, aaaaaah!” “…I told you it was going to hurt.” She took off the bandage and tried to rinse it in the water they’d found in the hut, but the blood clung to it. Rain lost quite a bit of blood in the process, too. And yet, he still refused to admit the severity of the wound, since he believed speaking about it would only make the situation worse. That’s…right… She thought back on her relationship with Rain. It took them a great deal of determination to make it that far, and they’d put their lives on the line countless times in the process. And just like all of those times, they had a single goal they wished to prioritize over all else. Ending the cycle of war. And Rain planned to see their mission through to completion, because his life wasn’t… …… She knew Rain wouldn’t last another ten hours. He would only survive if they escaped the mountain before dawn, which meant they had to engage the unidentified forces they’d encountered earlier. Deadrim’s power seemed unstoppable, but they only had a single Exelia to form their strategy around. Thus, their chances of escaping seemed slim. But conversely, if they stayed hidden, they had a good shot of escaping the enemy’s detection. That made the choice before her obvious, but… “I want to know if you wish to save that boy… That’s all.” …Deadrim’s words came to mind. Air had no answer to that question… No, she refused to answer it because she didn’t want to destroy the relationship she’d built up with Rain. She didn’t want to invalidate their promise to risk their lives for the mission, so she actively tried to avoid it. What…? What should I do…? Air finished washing Rain’s bandages and dried them out, the conflict bearing down on her heart all the while. Touching Rain’s body and feeling his warmth reminded her that he still lived, but that would only last another day at best. I don’t want that… She knew how she truly felt, but acting on her desires felt wrong. Her mind kept going around in circles, asking the same questions, never coming up with any answers. “Ugh…” Rain suddenly groaned. When she heard him, Air looked up and found herself gazing at Rain’s face. Right… She always had the option of asking Rain. His life hung by a thread, not hers, so he simply had to decide what to do… That made everything easier for her, as well… “Um, Rain…,” she said. “…Air?” Ah…! However, the moment she met his gaze, the words got stuck in her throat. What was I…about to ask him?! Her own weakness terrified her, rendering her silent. She knew what his answer would be already. “Sacrifice me and complete your mission.” And she only intended to ask because it was so obvious. In other words, she almost discarded the choice entirely because she couldn’t bring herself to do it. And I have the gall…the nerve to say I’m risking my life on this mission?! I’m not… I’m not determined in the least! When it mattered most, her emotions controlled her. She thought she’d hardened her heart to make the right judgment calls, but when push came to shove, she’d wavered. “Hmm… You’ve really devoted yourself to nursing him back to health, haven’t you?” Deadrim said as she sat against the wall on the other side of the hut. “Deadrim…” “Odd, considering you thought of killing him earlier.” “Ah…!” “You’d be so much cuter if you were this honest all the time.” After that, Deadrim looked away and tried to fall asleep. It almost felt like she’d talked in her sleep, but her words rang clearly in Air’s ears. “You thought of killing him earlier…” Rain had definitely heard those words. Of course, she knew they hadn’t bothered him that much. He’d surely already thought of the idea of using the Devil’s Bullet to wipe away his own existence. Neither of them had mentioned it, but it was a natural plan. “Um, Rain…” Air tried to smooth over what Deadrim had said. “It’s fine.” “…Huh?” Her gaze was fixed on Rain’s, with her thoughts running around in circles. However, the boy simply spoke to her in an emotionless voice. “It’s only natural, really. I’d consider it if I were in your shoes, too. Who could you erase to get us out of this? It’s obvious… The answer to that question is…me.” Rain sounded almost frighteningly indifferent as he said that. His words sounded honest and true. But seeing him like that… Why…? …filled Air’s heart with discomfort and pain. How can you be so…so calm and collected about this?! Rain had definitely heard what Deadrim had said. He’d heard that Air planned to shoot him with the Devil’s Bullet. That meant the girl who nursed him was actually thinking of how to coldly dispose of him. Still, it didn’t fluster him at all. In other words… He thinks it’s obvious… …Rain thought it made sense for Air to abandon him. And so, it didn’t bother him. He believed Air could erase others to achieve her goal because she was a Ghost, a being that killed others. It didn’t surprise him at all. To him, it was obvious. Aaah… Air suddenly felt something roll down her cheeks. “Huh…?” Droplets. Water was trailing down her cheeks. “Why…?” At first, she assumed the roof had leaked. But no matter how many she wiped away, more replaced them. Finally, she realized they were tears from her own eyes. It can’t be. Why…? She tried to hold them back, but nothing worked. Her tears overflowed like a dam had burst, so using her hands to close her eyes did little to stop them. It didn’t feel like she was crying. She’d kept her emotions tightly in check. She had no reason to cry, but it still happened. Why…?! “A-Air?!” Rain barked, taken aback by the sight. “What’s gotten into you?!” The girl beside him started crying as she looked straight into his eyes. Her expression remained as stable as before, but tears were running down her face. Of course that confused him. Why…?! Upon seeing Rain finally lose his composure, Air spoke her mind. “Why…?” “Huh?” “Why does…this surprise you when…?” “…Air?” “Why does this surprise you when…you weren’t even shocked before? You know I plan to kill you, so how can you stay so composed…? How can you be so calm right now?!” Her outburst sounded unreasonable. They’d both agreed to a relationship where they used each other to achieve their mutual goal, so Rain’s reaction seemed apt. If one of them got in the way of their objective, they would need to disappear. Those were the stakes they’d agreed on. And yet, Air seemingly hated that idea. Why is this making me so mad? His reactions shocked her, despite how obvious they were. “Why are you so…nonchalant about all this?!” Trust—that was what she subconsciously wanted from him. A person who’d been betrayed by a partner should have appeared shocked and gotten angry. But if the traitor was someone they never believed in, they wouldn’t bat an eye. Rain showed no surprise at the idea, which meant he’d never once truly trusted her. “Ngh, gaaah…!” “Ah, Air, you… D-don’t cry…!” Tears had started streaming down her face before she even realized why, but her emotions soon caught up to them. The corners of her eyes turned hot, and her nose was stinging. She tried to stop it, but soon she was sobbing like a child. Air had finally figured out how Rain saw her, so of course she lost all control. I… I thought I understood everything, but… They’d held each other’s secrets and moved forward while sharing the same goal. They had something they wished to accomplish and were willing to sacrifice anything to have their way… They’d marched forward, together, with resolve in their hearts. However, as they worked together, a different emotion had blossomed in Air’s heart. One she’d hoped Rain shared. I’m so…pathetic…