5. GHOST “DEADRIM” They spent the next hour moving forward. Eventually, the sun started to set. Driving an Exelia through snowfall and darkness would be suicide, especially since it made their headlights easy to detect from afar. They had no choice but to find cover. They had literally crushed the enemy forces… Or rather, Deadrim had. But those three units were part of a much larger group. Their remaining units were likely in hot pursuit. We can’t keep fighting like this… The constant battles had exhausted everyone present, Air and Deadrim included. “We need to find somewhere we can rest,” Air suggested. As they headed north, Rain and his group found themselves in a small clearing that was most likely a lumbering site used during the summer season. Small huts that served as lumber storehouses surrounded the area. The campsite was by no means large, but they could at least start a fire to keep warm and avoid freezing. The four of them decided to spend the night in one of the shacks. The fact that they got to spend the night without wasting any more of their stamina or Exelia fuel was a blessing. Upon entering the shack, they started a fire and took some time to rest. They planned to set out again at sunrise, which gave them roughly twelve hours in that position. Though, put another way, any preparation they made during those twelve hours meant the difference between life and death. Essentially, they needed information. “Deadrim.” “What?” “About that bullet you shot earlier…,” Air asked, trying to get a handle on the situation. “Apparently, I’m a Ghost,” Deadrim replied almost indifferently as she took a sip of hot water. “Or, well, that’s what your friend over there called me.” She then cracked a self-deprecating smile and added, “But you’re in the same boat, aren’t you? When you cast a spell earlier, I saw your eyes turn black and red, just like mine. Those eyes…are exclusive to Ghosts, right?” Deadrim raised her head, and her eyes took on that unnatural, wasp-hued color. “I certainly remember dying once,” she said as she touched her eyes. “It was a fairly small battlefield, and I got a little distracted, but that was all it took. An enemy sniped me from a distance, first through the chest, then through the neck. Looking back, I probably died instantly, but my consciousness lingered for a surprisingly long time.” Deadrim chuckled, but no one joined her laughter. Both pairs sat across from each other. Rain and Air from the East, Deadrim and Isuna from the West. However, each pair contained someone who shouldn’t exist. “The next time I came to, I found myself in some unfamiliar town,” Deadrim continued. “I tried to live peacefully. I didn’t have anything, didn’t own anything. But in the end, I got drawn back to the battlefield. Looks like it was the same for you, Air.” “……” “So you listen to me but won’t respond… Hmm, in that case…” The girl paused. “…How about we discuss this alone, Air?” “Huh?” “You feel a little less tired now, right?” the girl in black asked as she rose to her feet. “There are some things I want to ask you, since you’re a fellow Ghost with a life similar to mine.” After that, Deadrim walked out of the shack. She left before anyone stopped her, and Air seemed hesitant to follow. “You should probably go after her,” Rain said, noticing her conflicted gaze. “But…” “I’ll be fine. We need to gather information on the enemy, right?” “…I’ll be right outside, okay? If anything happens, call for me,” Air said as she shouldered her weapons and followed Deadrim. However, as she left… I have to make sure I’m ready. …Air loaded a bullet into her open chamber. A silver bullet unlike any other. If I find any opening, I’ll shoot her. She planned to shoot the ebony Ghost with that bullet. The Devil’s Bullet contained the power of Oblivion. It erased every trace of its victim from history. And so, if she shot Deadrim with it, their situation would instantaneously improve. The raid on the train would cease to exist. Air hadn’t forgotten her initial goal for even a moment. Deadrim simply hadn’t shown any sign of weakness. But if the situation changed, she might slip up. With that thought in mind, she followed her outside. “It’s cold, huh?” the other Ghost commented, the first to speak. “Obviously. We’re outside,” Air replied curtly, facing her. They stood against the hut’s wall, so the wind didn’t blow against them. However, the air was still in freezing temperatures. “Well, let’s take a seat,” she said, prompting Air to join her on a pile of lumber. “……” Air sat a short distance from her in a show of caution. She could still see Deadrim’s face clearly thanks to the moonlight shining down on them from between the clouds, reflecting off the white snow. “But still,” Deadrim said as she regarded Air’s position, “we might be Ghosts, but our bodies act the same. It’s cold.” “Yeah.” “I always got cold easily in life, and it looks like death hasn’t changed that.” “Can’t say I care.” “I wonder what’s going on with our bodies.” “What do you mean, ‘what’s going on’ with them…?” “Well, I can’t imagine they just left my body where it was.” Deadrim had only become a Ghost during the current war. Battles between their two countries had continued over the last century, and each time a new great war broke out, the dead manifested in fresh bodies—as Ghosts. Air had died one hundred years ago and manifested four times since. As such, she knew a fair bit about Ghosts. And that was exactly why she hesitated. What was a Ghost’s body made of? The answer to that question wouldn’t grant Deadrim any peace of mind. “We use bodies that originally belonged to someone else.” “Uh, what?” “Ghosts steal bodies to manifest. Someone dies, then you possess their corpse.” “…Well, that’s a little disturbing,” Deadrim said, her expression slightly puzzled. Still, she didn’t become needlessly depressed. “Who can use such powerful magic?” “I don’t know. I can’t even be sure that one person in particular is responsible. However, I’ve been active for the last hundred years, so whoever’s doing this has been at it for at least that long. If it’s one person, they must be really old.” “I bet…” Deadrim did not answer the joke in kind. “……” “Are there other Ghosts aside from us?” Deadrim continued questioning Air, hoping to ascertain her true nature. She listened to her replies and latched on to any topic that caught her interest. And Air, who sat there as the girl pelted her with questions, found herself happy to oblige. I guess telling her a little more won’t hurt… No one had ever explained things to Air when she first became a Ghost, so she understood how Deadrim felt. Questions kept piling up, like who and what she was, like how she was alive when she remembered dying. At the time, Air had to dig for pieces if information and put them together herself, fighting against that anxiety all the while. And after battling the other Ghosts over the last one hundred years, she grew to understand what she was. So if Deadrim wanted to know, Air wanted to answer her questions. “There are other Ghosts out there. Though, I’ve only met a few of them.” “Do Ghosts have any distinguishing features?” “The biggest one is how our eyes turn wasp-hued when we use magic. It’s not just us. That happens to the other Ghosts, too. I’ve never met an exception. Oh, and every Ghost has a special bullet that’s laced with unique magic. Mine is this silver bullet.” Air presented hers. She assumed showing its appearance wouldn’t matter much if she didn’t reveal its power. “I see. So this one’s my special bullet,” Deadrim said as she reached into her shirt and pulled out a necklace. It wasn’t a regular necklace but a bullet. It was a rather deep shade, like teal dipped in black paint. It also had a distinct, dark-gray sheen that couldn’t be easily replicated. There could be no mistaking it. That bullet proved Deadrim was a Ghost. It granted her the ability to change things’ positions, which felt absurdly powerful. Air had only seen it move the ice from the lake, but she knew it had the power to render any tactic or formation meaningless. It completely bypassed standard strategy. Plus, depending on how it was used, it had a wide variety of applications. Air assumed she could activate it by simply touching it to something. In other words, she didn’t actually need to shoot it. Deadrim could manipulate anything in contact with the bullet at will. And that applied to the bullet she carried on her, as well. Since it dangled from her neck, it remained in constant contact with her, granting her the ability to teleport. That explained how she’d stabbed Rain from behind. And she could have just as easily targeted me… Ghosts truly are obscenely powerful. “I see,” Deadrim said while gazing at her blue bullet. “I never had this power in life, so it’s been weighing on my mind. I’m glad I understand now. What a relief.” “…You really don’t know anything, do you?” It had taken Air quite some time to gather information about Ghosts, but she’d never slacked off like Deadrim. Air had earnestly pursued information, while Deadrim had not even really cared. “I always assumed all Ghosts were serious and tenacious, but I suppose I was wrong.” “Well, I had Isuna by my side, so I didn’t have to bear everything on my own. Plus, there’s this man named Kaisei who always finds the perfect battlefields for me.” “Kaisei?” “He’s a lieutenant in Harborant’s ground forces. He has a very high opinion of my abilities, so he said that he’d grant me all the chances I could ever want to fight. Thanks to that, I’ve managed to make do without hunting down information on my own.” “Hmm…” “But Kaisei hasn’t told me about anything other than the war. He prepares battlefields and sends me out to fight, but that’s it. Isuna and I have been fighting for him since.” Apparently, Deadrim had woken up in a supportive environment. She had a person who knew her before she’d died in Isuna, and this Kaisei person had handled all the subtleties of being an active-duty soldier. Thanks to that, Deadrim simply had to focus on surviving the battles. “You got lucky. Though I can’t say I’m exactly jealous.” “It was different for you?” “Not just for me. All Ghosts live according to a separate flow of time. We have to think for ourselves and fight alone to survive. That’s why we have the pact.” “The pact?” Deadrim parroted blankly. It seemed she really didn’t know. …I haven’t even revealed this secret to Rain. Air pulled out the bullet dangling from her own neck. However, unlike a normal bullet, it had her name, Air Arland Noah, etched onto it. “It’s another unique ability we Ghosts possess. After etching our name onto a bullet, we can bind any person we shoot into absolute servitude. Essentially, they lose the right to oppose your orders.” “Oooh…,” Deadrim cooed, revealing her surprise. Apparently, that idea had drawn her interest. “That’s interesting. Maybe I should pump one of these into Isuna or you.” “Don’t try it. Isuna aside, forming a pact with someone means sharing some of your unique magic with them. If you shoot me, I can use your blue bullet.” “…Guess I better not.” The pact was certainly powerful. Many Ghosts relied on it to create slaves on the battlefield. But it wasn’t an absolute power, so it carried its own set of risks that made it hard to abuse. Ghosts instinctively knew how to manifest their unique bullets. Despite having no prior knowledge, Air had summoned the Devil’s Bullet and the pact bullet as if it was second nature. But that apparently didn’t apply to Deadrim. She was blessed with people who supported her; perhaps she hadn’t needed it. “Understood. I’ll refrain from using the pact, then. Thankfully, I seem to be surrounded by men who already do as I say, so I don’t need to force anyone to obey me.” “Good for you,” Air replied, thinking Isuna and that Kaisei person clearly had their work cut out for them. Then she put the bullet with her name on it back inside her clothes. “I’d like to ask you about a Ghost’s memories next,” Deadrim said. “…If you like,” Air responded curtly. If nothing else, she had resigned herself to the fact that she wouldn’t find an opening in this situation. Since Air held the answers she sought, Deadrim wanted to know everything she could to clear her long-standing doubts. However, after getting through the most crucial questions, Deadrim hung her head. “Then I’d like to make a request, as a fellow Ghost.” A request? “Please help me save Isuna.” “…What?” “I hoped to keep an eye on him until the last minute, but we’re running out of time.” Deadrim’s voice remained cold and collected, but the contents of her words seemed entirely different from their discussion thus far. Save Isuna? “I’ve kept it a secret from the two of you, but Isuna didn’t just hurt his leg. He’s got a deep wound on his back, too. I’ve done everything I can, but the bleeding won’t stop. He probably only has half a day left at most.” Deadrim was asking Air for help. “If you do, I’ll abandon my mission to retrieve the second-generation Exelia prototype.” And now she was offering to abandon her duty as a soldier to save a single man. What is she saying…? Air, of course, refused to take her words at face value. She assumed Deadrim planned to double-cross her. A proper soldier never would have done as she suggested; refusing to fight due to fear of death was a military felony. Deserting in the middle of a mission was punishable by firing squad. “I’ll retire from the military. If you help save Isuna, I’ll cooperate with you on all fronts.” And yet Deadrim was still making that choice. She decided to cast aside her mission in order to save their skin. She wanted to live instead of fighting to their last breaths. “What…?” “Yes?” “What are you saying…?” As a fellow Ghost, Air couldn’t fathom what Deadrim had just suggested. “Didn’t you two come here on top-secret military orders?” The decision felt utterly incomprehensible. In Air’s mind, military missions were simply that important. Deadrim’s partner was fatally wounded, yes, but so was Air’s. Rain had suffered a severe chest wound, so he wouldn’t survive the next few hours, let alone half a day. But not once did he suggest running to survive. The thought seemingly hadn’t even crossed his mind. The idea of dying terrified him, that much was certain, but he’d gathered his resolve to protect the second-generation Exelia down to his last breath. Despite the awful pain, Rain had refused to let it show on his face. He knew his actions would save the lives of many, so he did not give up. And because Air understood his feelings, she also never once considered the possibility of fleeing. He was fatally injured but still wished to carry out his duty. And she helped him, since that was the best way to honor his will. Unfortunately, that kept Air from saying the one thing she truly wanted to suggest. Let’s run for it. Ugh… What am I thinking? Air shook her head desperately to disperse the thought. Deadrim hadn’t hesitated to suggest it, though, and that enraged her. She’s so…! Air fumed. She hated seeing this other girl make light of the idea of pride. And so, she rose to her feet, pulled out the pistol holstered near her chest, and aimed it at Deadrim in an unmistakable gesture of attack. “Whoa…,” Deadrim muttered as she reached for the sword at her waist. Only a few feet separated them. Normally, the gun was faster at that range, but… …… …Air didn’t move. The pressure kept her pinned in place. The future she foresaw ended in her death. And in addition to that, Air had caught a glimpse of how Deadrim fought earlier that day. Deadrim… She’d massacred thirty mages with nothing but a sword in hand. She’d completely ignored the enemy’s bullets and the Exelias’ mobility as she flitted through the battlefield, cutting down her foes one by one. The sight of the girl in black gracefully soaring through the air flashed in Air’s mind. Those peerless skills were the source of her confidence…the source of her existence as a Ghost. “…Hmm.” A few seconds passed as they stood frozen. “Air.” Deadrim sensed Air’s anger. Air was brimming with—and was bound by, a sense of duty—down to the very last strand of her argent hair. “…What?” “Do you remember how you died?” “……” Air nodded but didn’t say anything more. “I see. Well, so do I. It was a near-instant death, but the last things I heard and saw left a strong impression on me,” Deadrim said without letting her hand or sword shake at all. “Isuna was right next to me when I got shot.” “You mean…?” “Yeah, the middle-aged man in the hut,” she confirmed with a hint of playfulness in her voice. “We were the same age back then.” Air understood the implications. And the sorrow of being unable to age alongside her peers. “It happened ten years ago… And really, it was such a small, minor skirmish,” Deadrim carried on as if reminiscing. “The two countries were in a state of cold war, so actual battles were rare. Harborant sent us to augment the numbers in the Battle of Winkel. I was a mage on the muster roll, while Isuna was a cadet.” “Were you two…?” Were you in love? Air nearly asked, but she swallowed the words at the very last second. …… It wouldn’t have mattered if she’d asked, but the thought embarrassed her. “Do you want to know?” “…Not really.” “Ha-ha-ha-ha! You’re more innocent than I thought.” “I told you I don’t want to know!” “Oh, hush. There’s no rule against soldiers falling in love.” “I just said I…” Air trailed off, then briefly paused and said, “I don’t really…care…” Deadrim smiled at her evasive stammering. The silver-haired girl appeared strong-willed, but even she had topics she couldn’t handle well, it seemed. “Well, it’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything.” “…I see.” “But I do love him.” “……” Deadrim was so casual about it that Air was stunned. “No one’s more important to me than Isuna. If he died, I would as well. Without him, I have nothing left to live for… But who knows how he feels about me.” Air had met several Ghosts over the course of her life, but they’d all been driven by intense hatred. They’d all prioritized satisfying their rage above all else. However, Deadrim was nothing like them. Inside her soul, she carried… “Isuna is everything to me. And that will never change.” …pure, unadulterated affection for a single person. Her feelings for Isuna spurred her onward. At a glance, it appeared beautiful, but there was also a dark side to that fastidious love. Deadrim is obsessed… Air saw it as another form of cruelty. Isuna was irreplaceable, but that also meant Deadrim was willing to sacrifice everyone and everything else for his sake. Her values were so frighteningly steadfast that the lives of others were disposable in her eyes. “Isuna and I have been friends since we were little. Back then, we dreamed about becoming military mages. Our village was near the border, so battles often extended toward it. That’s why we wanted to become mages and defend it,” Deadrim informed her. “I had more talent as a mage, so I got promoted faster, but Isuna earnestly followed in my footsteps. He said he wanted to fight by my side even if he lacked talent. That day… The day I got shot was the first time we acted as official partners. It was the day our dream came true.” Air could only imagine the lives they’d led from childhood and what they felt for each other. They were clearly more than just acquaintances. If nothing else…Deadrim harbored deep feelings for that officer. “I died before Isuna’s eyes. The last thing I remember is the sight of him weeping and trying to gather up the remains of my crushed, still heart. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so confused, lost, or sad before. And honestly, I doubt I ever will again, either.” “……” Even after she learned what drove Deadrim, Air didn’t trust her. “Also, I’ll tell you something, since we’re already in this together.” “What?” “The thing is, I’m already a traitor. Before we started our raid on the train, Isuna and I killed ten Harborant soldiers.” “……” “The military sent us after the second-generation Exelias, but Isuna and I had another objective in mind.” Apparently, they had a reason to betray their country and kill their own comrades. “Listen, we never intended to hand the second-generation Exelia to the West. Instead, we planned to claim it for ourselves.” Deadrim showed Air the bullet dangling from her neck. Then she leveled a questioning gaze at her. “Air, do you enjoy war?” “…What kind of question is that?” Air replied, clearly confused. In her mind, enjoyment didn’t figure into the equation. She simply saw it as a phenomenon beyond her control. “See, I hate war,” Deadrim declared. “……” “When I was young, I was filled with a sense of duty. I believed my enemies were evil and that killing them would make me feel good. Proud. However, when I finally became a mage and saw a real battlefield for the first time, I realized something… Those kids standing on the other side were no different than me.” That was the harsh reality everyone had to accept. Perceptions of good, evil, and justice were pointless in times of war. “At this point, war has stolen everything from me. It took my life, Isuna’s future…everything.” Deadrim, however, refused to accept that. She rejected the madness. “Isuna and I will end this war. Nothing more, nothing less,” the ebony Ghost said of her oath. “Ah…!” And oddly enough, it was the very same wish Air and Rain harbored. “The magic I’ve gained as a Ghost is exceedingly powerful. I can freely change the position of anything my bullet touches. It makes formations and terrain completely irrelevant. If we couple that power with the second-generation Exelia’s capability for solo operations, we’ll be invincible.” The ability to ignore troop positioning and topography was powerful enough on its own, so with a second-generation Exelia’s mobility added to that, their advantages would be insurmountable. Anything would die when its head was crushed, be it an insect, a human, or an entire military. Killing the commander was a surefire method to end any battle. And Deadrim could do that with lethal efficiency by ignoring everything else and teleporting herself straight to them. “Isuna and I will be able to finish all battles instantly that way, which should end the war for good. That’s why we need the second-generation Exelia… Still, none of that is worth more to me than his life,” Deadrim said, then turned her gaze to the shack. A wounded officer sat on the other side of that wall…the very same man she’d been bound to for ten long years. “Peace only matters if Isuna is there to experience it with me. I died like a bug on a windshield ten years ago, so I deserve at least that much, right?” “If you have someone like that…” “Hmm?” “If you have someone you feel that strongly about, how can you callously kill people the way you do?” Air had seen Deadrim sadistically toy with the thirty enemy soldiers. If everything the other ghost said was true, and her love for Isuna and hatred for war drove her, then why had she acted so cruel and merciless? It made no sense. The atrocities she committed were an affront to life itself. Someone who truly desired love and peace would not have done that. That makes no sense. Or so Air believed, but— “You misunderstand. I can do that because I got killed.” “…What?” “In the end, I didn’t feel anything.” She had died an instant death from a sniper’s shot. She remembered seeing Isuna in her final moments—but not much else. “I wasn’t even granted a moment to reflect. I felt no pain, had no time to suffer, to grieve, to breathe a last gasp, to fear…to sense death creeping up on me. I simply died for no rhyme or reason. And the next thing I knew, ten years had passed…” Deadrim paused there for a second, then continued. “I wanted to leave behind some kind of proof that I’d lived. I wanted to leave a deep, lasting impression of my emotions. I didn’t care even if it rang hollow, so long as I remained in Isuna’s heart. If I had to die, I wanted to convey my despair, pain, anger, and regret to the world.” And so, Deadrim etched those emotions into her enemies. If she had to kill them, she carved deep pain and despair into their flesh because even those negative emotions were something she once desired. In her mind, allowing them to leave some trace upon the world was the greatest honor she could grant a dying person. Her idea of decorum…of propriety. And yet— “…Have you lost your mind?” Air understood her reasons, but she couldn’t sympathize. What did this achieve, striking fear into someone by torturing them before their death? That act didn’t even have a religious meaning to it—it was just pure cruelty. Yet, somehow, in Deadrim’s mind, none of that conflicted with her desire for peace. No matter how she tried to justify her actions, how much she claimed to want to end the war, Air only reached a single conclusion about the girl of black. She was a Ghost. A dead woman operating beyond the bounds of human logic. A harbinger of calamity. A person warped and skewed… But this still doesn’t add up… Something had to have changed her. Air had gotten used to it already, so it no longer seemed as glaring as it initially had, but she used a sword. That made no sense. Why would she do that? This world had magic but no miracles. Bringing a sword to a gunfight was foolish, and bullets that let you shift things’ positions didn’t change that fact. Mages fought by coupling the future sight from their Qualia with the magic from their firearms. And yet, Deadrim fought with a sword. Wait, what if I have things backward? Perhaps she’d thought about it all wrong? Perhaps Deadrim wasn’t so strong she only needed a sword. Perhaps that was simply more convenient. Everything makes more sense from that angle. It answered her doubts. Ghosts always acted according to pure logic, without exception. They weren’t bound by ethics or morals, so they unflinchingly chose the most optimal means of achieving their goal. With that in mind, maybe Deadrim used a sword because it suited her fighting style the most. The power Deadrim had gained was a bullet with the ability to shift the position of objects, so she didn’t use a gun because a sword went best with that magic. However, using a sword to slay an enemy was far more direct and vivid than shooting them with a gun, which meant she had to develop an ideology that lessened her guilt. She had to craft a justification for her horrific, savage acts of murder. “I care about Isuna’s well-being more than anything else in the world,” the ebony girl claimed. “When I woke up after ten years, he cried with joy and chose to stay by my side. I’ll never forget that. I love him with all my heart, Air.” And that was why she’d begged Air for help. “I plan to take the shortest route off this mountain tomorrow morning. There’s a good chance I’ll run into the enemy, but if I don’t take that risk, Isuna will die. And that’s where you come in.” She proposed a foolish plan. Taking a roundabout path seemed smarter, since it greatly reduced the chance of the enemy detecting them. If Air wished to complete their mission and take back the second-generation Exelia, then a detour was ideal. Unfortunately, choosing that option… “That black-haired boy will die, too, you know?” …would have signed Rain’s death warrant. He was on the verge of bleeding out, after all. Air knew she had to prioritize delivering the Exelia. That one unit had the potential to turn the tides of the war, so a single cadet’s life didn’t even compare to it. And yet— “What will you do?” “……” Air remained silent. She found herself unable to answer that question. “What’s most important to you?” Deadrim asked. “Come to think of it, the person you talked to earlier told you to kill Rain, didn’t they?” “Ah…!” She clearly meant Kreis. The words from their earlier conversation rang in Air’s mind. “If you can’t escape the mountain and have to pick between your survival and Rain’s, I want you to kill him.” “But you didn’t kill him, even after all this, which means…” “…You’re wrong.” “Excuse me?” “I’m not like you!” Air raised her voice in anger when Deadrim questioned her resolve. “I have never, ever forgotten my mission! How dare you even suggest Rain and I would do that!” Her heated words seemed to admonish herself as much as Deadrim. “Rain and I are partners—partners and nothing else! There’s no place for needless emotions between us!” Air was confident that up to that point, she’d always picked the most logical, beneficial course of action. “We made a promise. We swore we would put an end to this conflict…that we’d stop this war once and for all. If it would help make that dream a reality, I’d abandon him without a second thought. And I know he’d do the same! We’ve only made it this far because we have that resolve.” We will change the world. We will end this age of war. They were both willing to sacrifice their lives to achieve that goal, which explained why they made an oath that otherwise sounded like a laughable delusion. Air was furious to hear someone bringing these saccharine emotions into the equation. “We’re not like you, Deadrim. We would never cast our mission aside to save our lives. If we can’t even take that risk, we’ll never truly change anything.” Perhaps Deadrim and Air truly wished for the same thing. Their methods differed, but Deadrim did hate war. Those words rang true. She wished for peace, and she was willing to sacrifice many and cast away nearly anything to achieve it. In that regard, she was unlike any Ghost Air had ever met. She fundamentally differed from those who only existed in battle and thrived in conflict. Still, her way of thinking was too different from Air’s. And indeed, she brushed her words aside like a feather. “That’s not what I asked you. I want to know if you wish to save that boy… That’s all.” “…I suppose we’ll never see eye to eye.” “I must agree. You want to create a peaceful world, but how do you intend to live there when all the people you love are dead and buried?” “……” “It’s not a matter of choosing one over the other. Reach out and claim both. I want to be with Isuna. I want to hold hands with him, kiss him, and have children with him, if possible. And to do that, I need the war to end. That’s all that matters,” Deadrim said, then sighed. “Well, you’ll have to decide soon enough.” Then she turned around… “It’s getting too cold out here for my liking. We can continue this talk later.” …and walked back into the shack where Isuna and Rain awaited their return. After the two Ghosts walked outside the shack to talk… Ah…! …Rain descended into a coughing fit. “Gah, aaaaaah!” A mixture of blood and saliva poured from his mouth. He lifted his fingers and saw they were already red. He’d been coughing it up for a while, it seemed. His stab wound tormented him, while his body was going numb. This is bad… The shadow of death loomed over Rain. He understood that much. His bleeding hadn’t stopped, and his thoughts grew hazier by the minute. “Can you still talk?” Isuna asked Rain, noticing how weak he looked. “I think…” “Ha-ha-ha, we’re both in dire straits. I’m starting to feel pretty bad myself.” Both of them had put on brave fronts to keep their partners from needlessly worrying. However, their respective injuries still threatened to extinguish the flickering candles of their lives. The two of them spoke in hushed tones as they leaned against parallel walls. “Ghosts…right?” “What…?” “That’s what they’re called, yeah?” Isuna said in a raspy whisper. “That girl, Air…and Deadrim, too… They’re Ghosts. It’s strange, really. That word made everything click into place. I wanted to know how a girl who’d died ten years ago found me again…looking just like she always had…” “Did you know her before she died?” Rain asked. Isuna nodded and replied, “I didn’t just know her… I was with her when she died. She was shot in the neck and chest, and a few seconds later, she…left me behind…” In the ten years that followed, Isuna wandered the battlefield all alone. “But a few months ago, Rim, she…showed up out of nowhere. It’d been ten years, but she looked exactly the same as I remembered… She just walked up to me and said ‘Whoa, you’re really old now.’ She looked so confused…” Isuna sighed. After all, if anyone should have been shocked, it was him. He studied Rain a bit more closely and asked, “How about you and that girl?” He seemed to want to know their relationship. Rain honestly had no reason to answer that question, but he relented before the sincerity in the officer’s tone. “…I only met Air for the first time after she became a Ghost. I don’t know what she went through in life or during her previous stints as a Ghost.” “…Ha-ha-ha.” “What?” “I figured as much,” Isuna said, and smiled as he looked at Rain. Rain’s gaze met his, and he saw deep sorrow hidden behind those gentle eyes. Huh…? “Maybe it’s just my imagination, Rain, but you remind me of myself ten years ago. Back when I was still inexperienced and didn’t understand my relationship with Rim. When I was still young at heart, essentially.” “Uh, okay?” “It kind of feels like I’m looking at an old photograph, you know?” No, I really don’t… Isuna said they were alike, but Rain had no idea what made them similar. “Let me hazard a guess, Rain.” Isuna paused for breath. “Did you two have a major argument recently?” “……” “Yep, that’s the face. Knew it.” Rain almost asked “How did you know?” but decided against it. His relationship with Air had been awkward lately. There were a lot of reasons for that, but… “I can tell. Rim and I were the same ten years ago.” Ten years ago… Isuna hadn’t truly lacked talent when he was younger. Being a mage put him among the cream of the crop, so no ordinary soldier matched him. But when she was alive, Deadrim stood head and shoulders above other mages, so Isuna was constantly compared to her. Back then, he didn’t mind the comparison. Which of them was better didn’t matter much, since they were together. Unfortunately, as they matured, their environment changed…and them with it. “On the day Rim died, we got into a huge fight.” They hadn’t stayed close friends forever. “It was the day I finally got my wish…to stand alongside her on the battlefield. The two of us started arguing because she kept trying to help me. Looking back on it now, I know she pointed out something really obvious, but I got annoyed at the fact she didn’t trust me, so we stopped talking to each other. And the next thing I knew, Rim…” She died still full of regrets. His story sounded all too common. The man who’d lost the love of his youth looked directly at Rain, his eyes full of emotion. “Rain, you’re the same as I was back then.” “How are we the same?” “We both feel impatient because of a partner who’s far more skilled than we are.” They were both overwhelmed with frustration at their own lack of experience and maturity. “I’m not impatient…” “Have you been opposing her ideas for no good reason?” “……” “And that makes it hard for you to talk it out with her, right?” …… He didn’t have enough fingers to count how many times that had happened. Isuna had probably picked up on their discord from Rain’s expression. “I think you have a very convenient misunderstanding.” “What kind of misunderstanding?” “From your perspective, how would you describe Air?” “…The ideal mage.” “Well, for starters, I can tell you that’s not true.” That belief appeared to be the root cause of their friction. “The two of them, Deadrim and Air? They’re skilled, but they’re not God or anything. They can be as smart and talented as humanly…well, inhumanly possible. Since they’re Ghosts and all. But at their very core…they’re normal girls. They’re people, like you and me.” Rain’s misunderstanding stemmed from his belief that his partner was invincible. “And that’s why you’re so impatient.” “……” “You placed her on a pedestal based on a misconception while assuming she was different from you. You subconsciously decided everything she said was absolute. And so, any little thing she says gives you pause. You value her words more than your own opinions, so you assume they’re always true. And that’s why they hurt.” When she said he was mistaken…he believed he had no chance of approaching her. “My one warning to you is…do not make that mistake. Those two are as human as us. They make mistakes, they say unreasonable things, and sometimes they slip up and make wrong decisions. They get careless at times, too. I thought Deadrim would never lose, but she died so easily. That’s when I learned.” “But…” “Should I just lay it on the table, then?” Isuna’s advice was like a knife in Rain’s heart as he tried to make sense of all this. As he watched him, Isuna continued. “Right now, you’re angry and sulking at the girl you admire, which is hurting her.” “Ugh…” Rain simply groaned in response, which made Isuna laugh. “…Ha-ha-ha.” A powerless, feeble voice echoed out from him, but he laughed all the same. “It’s funny. I wish I could’ve told myself that ten years ago, but saying it now feels good…” For Rain, the revelation was humiliating. “You…” he started to snap, but then thought better of it. “Still, I can’t exactly talk down to you, can I?” Isuna said, his voice faint. “There’s still so much I don’t know about Rim. When she first showed up as a Ghost, I thought she’d truly returned to me. She seemed exactly the same as ten years ago. I’d changed, but the fact that she hadn’t made me so happy. But once we went out to fight…I quickly realized how wrong I was.” The two of them had fought side by side, both in the past and the present, which had made the change in Deadrim clear to him. “She’s so sadistic now. I don’t know if having to keep fighting in a war she hates has warped her somehow, but…” Rain only knew Deadrim in the present, where he’d seen her brutally slay thirty people, so those words confused him. “She wasn’t like that when she was alive?” he asked. “No. She was the most skilled soldier I’d ever seen, but I never once saw her smile on the battlefield. Nowadays, she’s brutal, and she also goes out to fight more often. Though, that’s mainly because Kaisei keeps arranging battles for her…” Kaisei… Rain didn’t know what the man looked like, but he’d heard of him. He was an officer of the West who’d been involved in several major battles. Still, he didn’t have an exceptional track record, so he never left much of an impression.
Chapter 28
35 min read