* * * Was she looking for party members or friends—or a boyfriend? I couldn’t help thinking no one was going to respond to such an honest post… I had an urge to go over and launch a few quips at her, but I had my hands full thinking about myself… As much as I hated to contemplate it, it seemed I had been kicked out of the team I had just joined today. Yes, they had been very polite, claiming that it was all about their powers—and not mine—that was the problem, but it was really just a delicate way of booting me out… Just when I was feeling my most depressed— “Listen, newbie! You don’t know what saury are? What rock have you been living under?!” “Oh, I know what saury are. I know they’re fish. And you want me to make this Salted Saury combo plate, right?” The boss of the Guild tavern was berating a young man with brown hair. It was the boy I had spotted out the window of the carriage the day I arrived in Axel. I remembered him because his clothes had been so strange. I guess he had gotten himself a part-time job at the tavern. I hadn’t seen him this morning—maybe today was his first day. “That’s right, saury. Fish. Scales, practically jumping out of the net. Fat and delicious this time of year.” “Yeah, I know it. Okay, I’m sorry—maybe you could repeat your instructions one more time?” “I said go to the field around back and fetch me two saury.” “Now you’re just making things up!” the young man said, flinging his apron at the boss. Was he one of those modern, spoiled children you always hear about? What in the world was so infuriating about having to go get some saury from the field? While the young man was fighting with his boss, a blue-haired waitress walked by, carrying a ridiculous number of ale tankards. I seemed to remember her as the young man’s companion. I wondered if she had started just today, too. “Thank you for waiting! I’ve got your ice-cold Crimson Neroid right here!” “Ooh, I can’t wait for— Ugh! The hell is this? This is just water! What is this, some kind of joke?” The boss paused in his argument with the boy long enough to yell at the young woman. “New girl! What’s the big idea? You’ve only served the guests water all day! Where does my homemade wine keep disappearing to? You’re not just drinking it all yourself, are you?!” “N-no, I swear I’m not! I just accidentally dipped a finger in the wine…! Please listen to me! This is who I am! I’m really the goddess of water…!” “Hey, Gramps! Hear me out! Don’t think you can pull one over on us just because we’re new in town! After all the time I’ve spent shut up in my room, I finally decide to get a damn job, and look what happens! What are you, on a power trip? You enjoy watching me try to figure out your nonsense instructions?” The girl was about to cry, and the guy was about to explode. As for the shop owner, I could see a vein bulging on his forehead. “Shut up, both of you! You’re the ones who don’t make any sense! You’re both fired!” And that was the end of their employment—the young man, whose argument was finally over, and the young woman, wailing so loudly that people were looking at her. …Well, at least I was doing better than they were. Feeling a little of my self-confidence return, I decided to head back to the inn for today. Yunyun and I were walking back to our accommodations. “How did it go today, Megumin? Did you find a good party?” “Er, not quite. We went on a quest together, but…they concluded that my powers would be wasted on them and declined to continue our working relationship.” “Oh. Yeah, your magic is so powerful, but you have to be careful when you use it.” As she talked, Yunyun glanced furtively around—maybe she was curious about our new town. “And what about you, Yunyun? I believe you made a post saying you were looking for party members. Anyone bite?” “Yes, one person. Well, this person… I have to say, he looked like he was at least my dad’s age, and when he introduced himself, he said, ‘You’re thirteen? ’Sup? That’s what the kids say, right? I should know, because I’m obviously thirteen, too! You’re looking for someone to fight on the front line, right? Just leave it to me—I’m a high-level Crusader! I’ll keep you so safe!’” “And you turned him down, right? Please tell me you turned him down!” “W-well, eventually, sure… But he took me to lunch, and listened to me talk, and seemed like a really nice guy. He said we should talk again tomorrow…” “If he does try to talk to you tomorrow, you are not to respond to him under any circumstances! And you need to make a more serious seeking-group flyer!” “Huh?! B-but it was serious…” 7 The next day. When we arrived at the Guild, we were greeted by one of the waitresses. “Good morning. Oh, you’re adventurers, right? The Guild’s issued a special notice, so you should go get the details from Reception.” A special notice? Curious, I wandered over to the reception area, where, lucky for me, one of the Guild employees was just in the middle of explaining what was going on. “There have been eyewitness reports of a demon-type monster in the woods. The reports suggest that this is not just a gremlin or some other low-level monster. Demon types are frequently strong enemies, often highly intelligent and capable of using magic. The Guild is investigating the matter, but until we find out exactly what’s going on, we recommend less powerful parties avoid the woods.” I heard a few sighs from the gathered adventurers. A lot of the most profitable quests took place in the woods. The standard routine for a new adventurer, I was given to understand, was to hunt Giant Toads to raise their level and then, when they could comfortably do that, to go into the woods. Now that I knew what the special notice was about, I went over to the seeking-group board. When the caravan leader got us set up at our inn, he had paid in advance for two weeks’ stay. I had to find some party members and secure a source of income before I was chased out at the end of those two weeks. “I think I had better proactively approach somebody today,” I murmured, glancing at the posts on the board. One appeared to be Yunyun’s newest effort: SEEKING PARTY MEMBERS WANTED: Okay if conversation suddenly stops. Won’t freak out if I visit every day. Won’t get upset if I clam up when our eyes meet. Any class/age okay. I guess she had decided to compromise on the class and age in hopes of attracting more responses. Although that wasn’t really what I had had in mind when I told her to rewrite her post… Without meaning to, I looked over toward the corner of the tavern where, once again, Yunyun was waiting expectantly at a table. She had set up the board game she’d brought along on our trip, playing against herself. It was the picture of pitiful, and I very nearly went to talk to her, but then I reminded myself that this was itself part of Yunyun’s training. I resumed reviewing the posts on the bulletin board. I found, for example: SEEKING WIZARD AND PRIEST Current members: Sword Master Lancer Thief Committed to defeating the Demon King. Interested novices also welcome. Join us and save the world! These people clearly had some sort of hero in mind. WANTED: PARTY MEMBERS We’re a Crusader and a Thief. We’re looking for trash human beings with truly brutal fetishes. One frontline and two rearguard party members. Seeking sensible, serious people! Part of this post had obviously been scratched out. The handwriting appeared to be by two different people—and what the heck was the scratched-out part about? Somewhere between the dreck and the crazies, I found one that looked promising. SEEKING PARTY MEMBERS Currently have four people in party: Two frontline: One Eris Priest and one Archer Wanted: Wizard It sounded like a pretty good composition. I went to talk to the adventurers in question. “I see. Megumin, is it? That’s a very Crimson Magic–esque name. I’m Ein, the leader of this party. Here’s hoping we work well together.” The man I was talking to had a sword at his hip and looked every bit the warrior. There was another person with a spear, a priest with an Eris-faith pendant around his neck, and finally someone with a huge bow on his back. They looked at me appraisingly. They were all men, with an average level of 12. Just on the cusp of no longer being novices. “Thank you. I hope so, too. How about we go ahead and take a quest, then, to get a feel for each other?” “Good plan… Let’s hit the woods. That would be my suggestion. I’m sure you’ve all heard about the demon-type monster that’s supposed to be in there, but with a Crimson Magic Clan member along, I don’t expect any problems. Sound good?” “Sounds great. I can stop any demon in one hit.” The rest of the party smiled to hear me so confident. 8 Ein’s shout echoed through the woods. “There are too many of ’em! Jack, Thomas, fall back with Megumin! Rod, you’re with me—we’ll kick these things’ butts!” We had chosen a quest involving hunting the slimes that had been proliferating in the woods lately. This monster, the slime, was small and not very powerful, but if it managed to get enough food and grow larger, it could become an enemy so strong, even the best adventurers might find they had their hands full with it. Slimes also had a high resistance to physical attacks, and if you didn’t destroy the so-called core at the center of their bodies, they would continually regrow and keep coming after you. “Ein, our weapons hardly work on these things! Megumin, can’t you use your magic?!” the man named Rod complained as he jabbed a nearby slime with his spear. “I’m sorry, but right now, I’m afraid it isn’t technically feasible; I’d catch all of you up in the spell. Maybe if we could get into a more open area…!” “O-okay, no choice! Rod, let’s do it!” “Oh, for the love of—! All right, let’s go!” All I could do was watch from my place as the rearguard while our two fighters plunged in among the slimes. At last they came back, breathing heavily, covered in wounds that resembled burns. Thomas, our priest, rushed over and healed them. “We’re just lucky those slimes were still small. What do you think, Megumin? Is Rod’s and my fighting power everything you’d expect?” “Yes, that was excellent. Both of you looked very cool. Next, let me show you my power.” Ein and Rod both blushed a little at my compliment, then turned away, saying they were looking forward to seeing what I could do. “What the hell are Bloody Squirrels doing here?! I thought they were supposed to live deeper in the forest!” “They’re flying squirrels, and our attacks can’t reach them! Jack, Megumin! Use your bow and your magic and shoot them out of the sky!” As we proceeded deeper into the woods, we were beset by a swarm of Bloody Squirrels, actually a variety of flying squirrel. Ein and Rod used their weapons to keep the creatures at bay. “I-I’m sorry, but with the squirrels clustered directly above us, I’m afraid we’d be caught up in the spell!” “You’ve got to be kidding! Fine, use something less powerful… Shit, Jack! Handle this!” “Y-yeah, sure, I’m on it!” As Jack started dropping the squirrels out of the air, I held Chomusuke close so she wouldn’t get carried off and kept my head down, just trying to stay out of everyone’s way. That was when I felt something wet land, bloop, right on my hat. What could that be? The sky was so clear, it couldn’t be rain… That was when I heard Ein, holding his shield over his head, shout, “Bloody Squirrels pee on their enemies to mark them! Be careful—if it gets on you, the smell won’t come off for a week!” I jabbed my staff at the squirrel, wishing I could knock it down, but the squirrel and I both knew perfectly well that I would never reach it. “What’re you doing, Megumin?! Head down, head down!” “Please do not try to stop me. I will not rest until I have annihilated these stupid squirrels!” Thomas tried to hold me back, and at length Jack had taken out enough of the monsters that the rest, seeing that numbers were against them, ran away. “I can’t believe this happened to my precious hat… I guess I’ll have to leave it at the inn until the stink comes out…” We decided to take a rest after defeating the squirrels, and I spent most of my time looking ruefully at my hat, which reeked of squirrel pee. Rod came up to me where I was sitting on a tree stump. “Hey, so. I wanted to ask you—when can you use your magic, exactly?” “Wh-when…? Well, in a wide-open space where there is nothing that might unintentionally get caught up in the spell, when we are at a safe distance from our enemy—something like that, I suppose?” After two battles where I had proven to be no help at all, Rod was rightly skeptical of my abilities. “Huh,” Ein said from beside me, standing up. “That was our bad, then, going into the forest. Let’s just say that today was our turn to show off what we can do. Tomorrow, we’ll hunt something on the plains.” I felt a little guilty—and, honestly, a little pathetic. That was when it happened. There was a rustling from the underbrush, and something creeped out. “A slime? It must have been attracted by the smell of squirrel blood. Perfect, just what we need to finish…our…quest…” A slime had indeed appeared. But…! ““““It’s huge!”””” This slime was the size of a shed. “This is bad news! We can’t handle one this big! Everybody run!” “B-but we can’t just leave one this size, can we?! If we don’t take care of it now, it’s going to be too big for anyone to handle soon! And with all those squirrel corpses around, it’ll have all the food it wants…!” Ein and Rod tried to decide what to do, while Jack and Thomas could only stand dumbfounded. That was when I broke in. “Get away from the slime.” They turned to look at me. “Wh-what, you’re going to try your magic?” “I think we should run…” Despite their objections, all four of them found a safe distance from the slime. It hardly seemed to notice us, perhaps because there was more convenient food lying around in great abundance. My party members crept back behind me as I began to incant my magic. I heard Rod and Ein whispering behind me. “H-hey, aren’t slimes supposed to have strong magic defense? The little guys are one thing, but I don’t think even a Crimson Magic Clan member can take on something that size!” “Shhh, keep it to yourself. This is the perfect chance to see what our new recruit can do. She doesn’t have to kill it—if she can even damage a slime that big, she’s more than welcome as a member of our party.” Then came Jack, already edging away: “Let’s give up on the reward this time. A slime that big, we have to get back to the Guild and let them know right away!” “I’ll bet we’d get a reward just for telling them about one that big…… Huh? H-hey, what spell is that?!” Thomas the priest said, shocked, as he caught a few words of my incantation. “What’s up, Thomas? Something going on with the newbie’s magic?” “Ooh, there’s electricity gathering all around Megumin. Is it some kind of lightning spell?” Ein and Rod sounded a lot more interested than Thomas did. Thomas, the one other person in this party who could use magic, had grasped that the spell that was about to be unleashed would be on an extraordinary scale. When the others saw how pale he had gotten, they took a fresh look at me. “H-hey, Megumin. We’re not saying you have to take out that slime or whatever, all right? There isn’t an adventurer in this town who could do in one that size. If we let the Guild know, they’ll call somebody from another town, someone stronger.” “Y-yeah, are you okay? I feel this…vibration in the air…” Ein and Rod didn’t sound quite as confident anymore. I just kept chanting, pointing my staff at the slime, which was going to town on the dead squirrels. “J-just a second—I think we could be in a lot of trouble here! We need to get farther away, a lot farther!” “Huh? What are you babbling about, Thomas? We’re already far away. Nothing she’s about to use could possibly—” That was as far as Rod got before I finished my incantation. “Get your heads down, please, everyone! No slime is a match for my secret magic!” The four adventurers threw themselves to the ground. “Explooosion!!” Light flew from my staff, piercing the slime’s body. The huge form swelled up, and with a blinding flash, there came a blast wind powerful enough to knock down the nearby trees. The roar sent every bird in the area scuttling into the sky, and the shock wave shook the branches of every tree that hadn’t been knocked over. When the smoke cleared, the slime was gone, leaving only me, all out of magic, and the other four, likewise on the ground. …Next time, I would have to make sure to have even more distance. 9 Back at the Guild tavern. I was slumped on the table, bereft of MP, while Ein and the others celebrated around me, draining mug after mug of beer, as they had been doing all afternoon. “Hoooly moly, that’s the Crimson Magic Clan for you—what a punch!” “I’ve never seen anything like it! The sheer destruction that spell left behind was enough to have me shaking in my boots!” “Magic isn’t even supposed to work on slimes—and she defeated it in one hit…” The three of them showered me with praise. Then there was Rod, sitting there with a glass of juice in his hand. “Er, ahem. Guess I owe you an apology. I was starting to think you were bluffing, just pretending to know magic.” He held out the juice with a bow, and I looked up and shook my own head. “Please do not apologize to me yet, for there is something that I, too, must say.” The four of them looked at one another doubtfully. “The truth is, Explosion, which you witnessed earlier, is the only spell I can use. And I can only use it once per day. I am confident it can overcome any opponent, no matter how strong, but does this party expect to tangle with creatures like that on a daily basis?” Ein gulped audibly. “…You don’t know any other spells? Like intermediate magic or something?” “I’m afraid not.” “…Hey, it’s fine if you can’t use it right now—we’ll help you raise your level, and you can learn intermediate magic when you’re good and ready…” “I don’t intend to learn anything that doesn’t contribute directly to the power of my Explosion.” ““““……”””” The promptness of my answer caused them to fall silent. “L-listen. All of us in this party, we figure it’s good enough to get by earning our keep on small monsters. We don’t really have any plans to hunt big game. I’m real sorry, but maybe you could try another group…?” I took my reward for the day and said my good-byes to the four men, then dragged my MP-less self away, thinking about the matter fretfully. Was it possible I wasn’t a genius after all? Was it possible no one anywhere needed me? …No, it was too soon to be getting bent out of shape. I had been in this town for only three days. As I sipped the juice Rod had given me, I suddenly noticed that Yunyun—who was supposedly looking for a party just like I was—was sitting in exactly the same place she had been that morning, still playing her game by herself. I went over and gave her a firm slap on the shoulder from behind. “E-eep?! Hello nice to meet you my name is Yunyun I’m an Arch-wizard but I can still only use intermediate—” She jumped up and spun around, spewing some kind of rehearsed introduction, but her face fell as she saw me standing there. “What a reaction! Here I take pity on you sitting by yourself in a corner like the loneliest girl in the world, and this is the thanks I get!” “‘The loneliest girl in the world’? Don’t call me that! It’s still only been two days since I put that bulletin up; I’m sure someone will come!” …I didn’t think I had even seen anyone look at her flyer. I sat down across from Yunyun and started lining up the game pieces. “Hey, watch it—I was in the middle of a game…,” Yunyun objected, but I saw the edges of her mouth tug up into a hint of a smile. And so we sat in a corner of the tavern, playing a board game. “Hey, Megumin, have you found any party members yet?” “No. I went on another trial quest with one adventuring group today, but they weren’t able to make the most of my abilities.” “Huh. I did get one applicant, an older guy who’d already spent the whole morning drinking. He said, ‘I’m just a civilian who can’t even lift a sword, but if that’s fine with you…’ I gave it some thought, but I decided I really need another adventurer, so I turned him down… Check.” “You should not have needed to give it any thought before you turned him down! What is it with you and being hit up by middle-aged men? I really worry about you sometimes… Don’t go toddling after them just because they chat you up… My move, huh? I’m going to teleport my piece.” “I don’t go ‘toddling after’ anybody—I can’t be bought off with food like you, Megumin… There, it’s your turn.” “I can no longer be bought off with the prospect of a mere meal. Just look—I successfully hunted a major bounty…!” Sitting in our corner of the noisy tavern, our pieces clicked and clacked across the board as we traded barbs and complaints. “You would think we would be mobbed by people who wanted us to join their parties just at the sight of our red eyes. Maybe all these newly minted adventurers don’t understand what the Crimson Magic Clan is.” “I wonder if everyone already has a Wizard… But in school, they told us Wizards and Priests are the rarest classes, didn’t they? I wonder if people are keeping their distance because of our age… Check.” “Tsk! If I pull back there, you will bring your Sword Master up, and then this square will be vulnerable to your Archer… I am going to teleport my piece here. This town doesn’t appear to have many people who look like wizards of any description. I would expect greater demand.” I had noticed some people taking note of our crimson eyes, but none of them came to talk to us. Maybe Yunyun was right, and they just felt we were too young. “That Teleport got in my way, but now it’s over! You shouldn’t have ignored my Adventurer just because he’s the weakest piece! He’s going to switch classes and become a Sword Master! Now this game is mine!” “……Explooosion!” “Ohhh!!” I used the Arch-wizard piece’s special skill—flipping the board over—and finally heaved a sigh. Maybe I would find some companions tomorrow. “Megumin, let’s play again! I want a rematch! The official rules say you can only use Explosion once per day, so next time I’m going to win! …Hey, where are you going? You can’t just run away!” 10 As I headed back to the inn, I contemplated my next move. I now had experience with two different parties. And I was starting to wonder if a wizard who could only use Explosion was not actually as useful as I’d thought. No, no—I might not be useful to parties that aspired to hunt only weak monsters, but adventurers of a higher rank, perhaps… Yes, that was the answer: find a group that wanted to hunt large bounties, or defeat the Demon King, or fight on the front lines. They would have a place for me. There had to be someone in Axel who fit that description. Someone seeking to defeat the Demon King. I dragged myself along, thinking these thoughts, when I heard a pair of boisterous voices… “Come an’ get ’em! Hoppin’ fresh bananas, just caught out of the river, a mere three hundred eris! Just three hundred—get ’em while they last!” “Sweet, fresh— What? Hold on, what did you just say? Bananas, ‘just caught out of the river’?” The boy with brown hair and the girl with light-blue hair, now holding a small paper fan, were trying to move bananas in front of a produce stand. I really seemed to run into them a lot. “Right now, just three hundred eris! Two bunches, six hundred! …Well, that’s what you would expect, but listen to this! Right this very moment, we’re having a special: two bunches for just five hundred eris! Those are huge savings!” “Y-yeah, huge! …Listen, did you really say these bananas came out of a river…?” I guess after losing their jobs at the tavern, they’d gotten work as roadside hawkers. Apparently energized by the gathering crowd of onlookers, the girl with the blue hair raised her voice even louder and started gesturing emphatically with her fan. “Come and look, come and see, come and behold! Right now, I’m going to make these bananas disappear!” “Whoa, can you do that?! Look at all these people—you’re gonna look pretty dumb if you screw up, you know?!” Intrigued, I stopped to watch. “There are no tricks involved, nothing up my sleeve! I put this cloth over the bananas like so! Then I intone, ‘Disappear! Disappear! Disappeaaaarrr’…and ta-daa!” ““““Wowwwww!”””” The onlookers gasped and exclaimed; even I couldn’t hold back a cry of surprise. When the girl pulled the cloth away, every single one of the bananas had vanished. “That’s incredible!” “I’ve never seen someone pull off a trick like that!” “Hey, I’ll take one! Give me a banana!” “Yeah, count me in!” “Two bunches, please!” The onlookers quickly turned into customers, practically stampeding toward the blue-haired girl. “Thank you, thank you very much! Hoo boy, at this rate, we’ll hit our quota and then some! Okay, bring back the bananas! The next time they disappear, it’s gonna be because we’re sold out!” The brown-haired boy was practically gleeful, but now the blue-haired girl looked at him as if confused. “What are you talking about? I made them disappear. They’re gone. Get me some more bananas so I can sell them!” “What?! You aren’t making any sense! What do you mean, ‘they’re gone’? Bananas don’t just disappear! Where are you hiding them? Quit with the jokes and make with the bananas!” “I’m not joking. I said there was no trick involved. Come on—hurry up and bring me some more bananas. Some to sell and some more to make disappear.” “Don’t screw with me—it’s past noon, so why do you sound like you’re dreaming?!”
Chapter 24
24 min read