1 Heartbroken, Bukkororii had shut himself up in his house for the past three days. Otherwise, things were pretty uneventful. But… I couldn’t help feeling Yunyun was acting a little strange lately. “Good morning, Megumin. Here, this is for you.” She handed me a lunch box as I walked into the classroom. It was so sudden, I wasn’t sure how to react. Finally, standing there with the gift in my hands, I said, “What is this? Have you perhaps fallen in love with me? To abruptly have someone preparing meals for me like a devoted wife is somewhat…” “Devoted wife?! What are you talking about?! I didn’t feel like challenging you today, so I decided to just give you something to eat! You’ve got your food now, so don’t bother me!” …Pfft. “Why, anyone listening to you would think I was some common bandit who scrounged my sustenance from you whenever I couldn’t get a bite to eat.” “I know it’s partly my fault for challenging you every day, but you are a bandit.” I was trying to decide what to do about this remarkably assertive answer from Yunyun when the teacher came into the room. The chatter among the students quieted as he stood at the lectern. “Good morning,” he said. “Monsters like the one that appeared during our recent lesson, presumably servants of the Dark God, have been sighted around town. We can’t afford to sit on our hands now.” That set the class buzzing again. Most monsters less powerful than the likes of a One-Punch Bear fled the moment they so much as laid eyes on a member of the Crimson Magic Clan. If some monsters were actually entering the village, that truly was unusual. “Therefore, we’ve decided to forcibly reseal the Dark God, although we’re still getting our people together. The ritual will begin tomorrow evening and last through the night. In the unlikely event that we fail, the deity’s servants may flood the town. We have safety measures in place just in case that happens, but I urge you not to leave your houses after the ritual begins.” Our teacher, usually so disinterested, looked uncharacteristically serious. I hadn’t been paying that much attention to the goings-on in the village, but it looked like things were turning grim. “All right. With that out of the way, let’s move on to the results of the other day’s test. As usual, the top three scorers will receive a skill-up potion! Come to the front of the class when I call your name! …Third, Nerimaki!” I listened to the teacher with one ear and looked at my Adventurer’s Card. Heh-heh-heh, another four points. With just four more points, I could learn the Explosion spell I so craved. “Second, Arue!” I listened to the teacher with one ear and grinned at my Adventurer’s Card. …Arue second? “And number one, Megumin! Good work. Come get your potion.” As I stood, I glanced over at Yunyun. Yunyun, who was sitting there with her fists clenched, looking somehow nervous. “First period is going to be Cool-Item Creation. You’ll be making statement pieces that display your individuality, like Arue’s eye patch. If you’re not sure what to make, I recommend bandannas or fingerless gloves. Everyone head to the home-economics room. I’ll see you there!” As the teacher left the room, I went back to my seat, inching closer to Yunyun to make sure she could see my newly acquired potion. She looked away, annoyed, and I gave the potion a shake, making a splish-splish sound. Yunyun finally caved, pounding her desk as she stood up. “…Why don’t you say something?! It really bugs me when you just parade around like that!” Somehow, though, her anger lacked its usual bite. “…Then, indeed, I shall say something. Your only good qualities, Yunyun, are that you are a skilled cook, an excellent student, and you have no real personal presence. What in the world happened this time?” “Hey, I’m not sure that last one is actually a good thing! What do you mean, I have no presence?! And anyway, I’m sure I have more good qualities than that!” She was red-faced with her objections. I thrust the potion toward her. “I know you said you weren’t going to challenge me, but how about it? As I recall, Yunyun, you needed another three points to achieve Advanced Magic. And I need four points… Can you really accept that? You were ahead of me—me! And here it looked like you were going to graduate before me. How about it?” My taunting produced a medley of emotions on Yunyun’s face… “I told you, n-no contests today… Go ahead and drink that potion.” “…I see. Well, so it goes. I’ll have it along with this breakfast.” I drank the potion down and started in on my meal…and for some reason, Yunyun looked relieved. I knew something’s been wrong with that girl. 2 “Hey, have you heard? Have you heard the rumor that a hero candidate’s coming to town?” Our morning class was over, and Funifura had approached Yunyun and me, bringing her own lunch. She was the one who shared this information, looking very pleased about it. Crimson Magic Village was just a rural burg—one surrounded by dangerous monsters. Why would a hero candidate come here? A “hero candidate” was what people called the ones with bizarre names who had been gifted special powers by the gods. And their names weren’t the only things that were strange. Word was that their behavior, personalities, and even their idea of common sense all cut against the grain. “I know—I heard!” Dodonko said. “I even saw him yesterday! He’s, like, cool and hot at the same time, and he said he’s here to find some party members to help him defeat the Demon King! He wants a powerful wizard! Argh, why’d he have to come now? If only I knew some magic, I’d follow him in a second!” She sighed wistfully. …Hmm. A hero candidate who is at once cool and hot? I still was not able to use magic, so I wouldn’t be joining anyone’s party just yet…but a wizard with potential like mine might well run into a hero candidate like him someday. Powerful chosen ones have a certain magnetism to attract their kin, after all. Birds of a feather, as they say. Yunyun, her interest piqued, said, “A hero candidate, huh…? What was he like? Did he seem strong?” “He had these two girls with him and a sword that gave off this huge magic aura. He seemed like a nice guy. He said he was a…Sword Master, I guess? His name was…Mitsu…ragi…?” A Sword Master with a powerful magic sword? If he had made it through all the monsters living around our village, that was proof enough of his strength. “I see,” I noted. “And how long does this person intend to stay here? If it will be long enough for me to learn magic, I would certainly like to go with him.” Dodonko shook her head. “He said he’ll be leaving today or tomorrow. And anyway, if he did stay, I would have dibs on him.” That was too bad. A hero candidate was almost guaranteed to be a fine specimen of humanity, a legendary hero type who could easily overcome any challenge. I hoped to join an adventuring party myself one day, and when I did, I would make sure it was with someone like that. Someone upstanding and righteous, willing and able to confront any crisis, the kind of hero candidate anyone and everyone would be infatuated with. And at his or her side, I would bring my magic to bear on every enemy, even a general of the Demon King, and make my fame resound throughout the world. And then I would defeat the Demon King and would myself be the new Demon King, Megumin—! “Megumin, are you listening? What’s with that smile? A-are you okay?” “I was engaged in some very important thinking and did not hear you. What did you say?” Yunyun brought me back to reality. Funifura and Dodonko were already happily chatting about something else. Yunyun kept one eye on them as she said apologetically to me, “Listen, Megumin. Could we walk home together? There’s something I want to ask you about…” 3 School ended that day with nothing more unusual happening than Yunyun’s failure to be one of our top scorers, and she and I headed home. Even though she was the one who said she wanted to ask me about something, for a long time she didn’t say anything at all. Finally, she opened her mouth. “…Megumin, uh… Friends. What exactly are they supposed to be to each other…?” I stopped cold and put a hand up to my eyes. This was a far more serious question than anything I had expected. “H-hey, Megumin, what’s wrong?! Hey, Megumin, I didn’t make you cry, did I?! Hey!” “No, I knew how pitifully lonely you are, Yunyun, but I never imagined it would go so deep that you don’t even know what a friend is…” “Of course I do! I know what a friend is! They go shopping and hang out together! But that’s not what I’m asking!” Yunyun’s anger passed, and she said more reservedly, “Megumin, you…you mooch off me all the time, but you never ask for money. Even if you do look at me like you want to be treated to a meal or come around staring longingly at my food at lunchtime.” “Of course. Even I know when I’m crossing the line. Besides, if I asked you for money, I could no longer say no even if you demanded my very body in return.” “I wouldn’t demand that; what do you take me for?! Look, the point is, I thought friends didn’t really ask each other for money. But…well, the other day, Funifura, she… I guess her little brother is really sick, and…” I didn’t know much about Funifura’s family situation, but I was aware that she had a considerably younger brother whom she doted on. “I guess she needs money to buy medicine for him, and I wondered if it would be rude to give her some money… Like, it’s only natural to help a friend in need, but I wouldn’t want her to get upset with me…” “Did Funifura ask you to lend her money?” Yunyun waved her hands emphatically. “Oh, n-no, she didn’t, okay? She just said she needed money for medicine. But Dodonko immediately offered to help her out, and I was thinking maybe I should, too…” Sheesh—I could see Yunyun was as gullible as ever. I was becoming properly angry about the recent course of events. Those girls already had something of a poor reputation, and it had struck me as strange that they were suddenly such good friends with Yunyun. And then for Dodonko to offer money to Funifura right in front of Yunyun, as if to say, This is what real friends do… The fact that she was talking to me about it meant Yunyun must have sensed something. But with no experience of friendship and a deep-seated fear of being disliked, it would be easy for her to get swept along. “Personally,” I offered, “I would find some other way to help her besides money. Part of the problem being that I have no money to give.” “Some other way…?” “That’s right… For example, cover your faces and lead your friends in robbing the drugstore.” “Wait, is that actually a better solution than just giving her money?!” I wagged a finger at Yunyun. “Friends don’t just wait for handouts; they suffer together, understand? Anyone can simply give something. Is it not much more meaningful to face a punishing challenge together?” “So you mean when you’re starving, rather than giving you lunch, I should starve with you?” “……No, that is completely different, with no bearing on this… But look, you have to do something that makes sense to you. You cannot buy friendship with money, but I think sometimes you may give some of your hard-earned cash to a friend who is truly in need. Incidentally, I am truly in need at all times.” “I saw how you worked in something for yourself there,” Yunyun said. “But I understand. Thanks, I’ll figure out what to do.” …It didn’t take me long to guess what this infinitely generous girl intended to do. And although I knew it wasn’t quite aboveboard, I couldn’t leave her to her own devices. If she was going to give Funifura money, she would most likely do it the next day before or after class. So, although it didn’t technically have anything to do with me, the next day, I would… Our talk subsided and we walked in silence for a while until we ran into Bukkororii. “Oh, h-hi, Bukkororii!” “Huh, Bukkororii, what are you doing here? I thought you were still locking yourself in your room after Soketto shot you down.” “Megumin! Hush!” “Wrong! Considerately hushing her actually hurts me more! Anyway, I didn’t confess, so I haven’t been shot down!” As pathetic as that sounded, Bukkororii suddenly turned serious. “I get it now. I can’t be messing around falling in love when the world awaits my awakening… People have been seeing those alleged servants of the Dark God everywhere. My power might be called on again, so I’m proactively patrolling the village just in case.” So, in other words, our NEET had recovered from his heartbreak and once again had too much time on his hands. “Yes, I heard. I heard you and a handful of your NEET friends had formed some kind of vigilante group.” “Don’t call it that. It has a name. An awesome name: the anti–Demon King wandering patrol, the Red-Eye Dead Slayers!” Since the Demon King’s army was too scared to come anywhere near our village, it wasn’t clear to me why they were wandering or what they were patrolling for. They were just a group of Crimson Magic Clan folk with nothing but a name to boast about. “The grown-ups do seem to be having a great deal of trouble with these monsters. Our teacher said they’re going to try some kind of forcible resealing tomorrow. Why do all that? Why not simply free the deity and then eliminate it with the collective strength of the villagers?” This was, after all, a village composed entirely of killer Arch-wizards. Even neighboring countries refused to negotiate with us. I couldn’t imagine that our entire population together couldn’t deal with one measly Dark God… “Some people have suggested that. But the whole reason the Dark God is sealed up outside of town is apparently that our ancestors got it already sealed from somewhere else and brought it here.” “What?! I never knew that! Why?! Why would our ancestors do something so pointless that was so much trouble?!” Bukkororii met the shouting Yunyun with a look of incomprehension. “Isn’t it cool to be the place where the Dark God is sealed up? …So anyway, they want to seal it again. There aren’t that many places that can claim to have a Dark God of their own. And we have plenty of experience with dangerous tourist attractions, like the weapon that could potentially destroy the entire world and the goddess of puppetry and revenge whose very name has been forgotten because all her followers have vanished.” “As much trouble as it’s going to be, I have a certain interest in the forbidden weapon myself. I can understand how the village people feel.” “You can?! Wait, am I crazy?! Is there something wrong with me?!” ““Definitely.”” “Huh?!” 4 The next day. I stuffed Ink into my bag and left for school earlier than usual. And on the way, just as I expected, I saw three familiar figures. “Thanks, Yunyun! It’s a big help! I’ll be sure to thank you properly later, okay?” “O-oh, you don’t have to thank me! W-we’re friends! U-um, let’s just head to school together…” It was Funifura, Dodonko, and Yunyun. Funifura had accepted something from Yunyun and flashed her an ingratiating smile. “Oh… G-gee, I’m sorry. I have to take this over right away.” “Yeah, that’s right, Funifura—if you don’t hurry, your brother will… Anyway, Yunyun, how about you go on ahead?” “Oh, uh, okay… I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking… I’ll see you at school, then.” She smiled at them and headed off to school on her own. As she walked away, her shoulders slumped, a pitiful sight if there ever was one. Funifura and Dodonko watched her go for a moment, then said: “It kind of…” “…f-feels wrong, doesn’t it…?” “Heh-heh-heh… There’s a simple cure for that: Don’t do such things.” ““?!”” The girls flinched as I spoke up from behind them. “Megumin?! How long have you been there?!” “Yeah, how long were you eavesdropping on our conversation with Yunyun?!” I crawled out of the bushes where I had been hiding myself. “You want to know how much I heard? Well…” Psst. The next two pages reflect the original Japanese orientation, so read backward!
Chapter 14
15 min read