“You don’t understand how demons feel.”
He pushed me away.
As I stumbled, Dark slammed the door right in front of my eyes. I heard him lock it from the inside.
“Why…?”
He wasn’t going to kiss me after all. But all he would find if he looked into my heart was how much I loved him.
The basket slipped off my limp arms, spilling sweets all over the floor.
The Kendal Mint Cake I received the day before cracked and turned to white sand.
Dark is struggling because he can’t rely on me.
Of course, he didn’t want to see my face. It was why he’d ignored me when we passed each other outside. I understood what state he was in, yet I was selfish and ended up rubbing salt in the wound.
“…I’m sorry I can’t support you.”
As soon as I got the apology out, I started to cry. I was only glad that Dark had closed the door. If he saw me like this, he might laugh, say he was only kidding, and pull me into his embrace like always.
That was just how kind of a person he was.
Dark was someone who sensed what people wanted and gave it to them. I didn’t want him to feel like he had to be strong for me when he was already in so much pain.
“…I’m going now.”
I staggered down the hallway.
When I entered the common room, Jack had changed and was working on our tea. Leeds helped him by measuring the tea leaves. But as soon as he saw me, his face fell.
“Your eyes are red, my lady. Were you crying?”
The two abandoned their work and helped me sit down on the sofa. They looked closely at my face and nervously asked what Dark had said to me.
“What did he say…?”
My lover told me that I couldn’t help him, and that was it. All he did was say I didn’t understand him before sending me away. But just remembering it was more than I could take. I let out another sob.
“I can’t bear to watch this!” Leeds spread his arms and pulled me into a tight hug. “Hugs are so mysterious. Having someone hug you melts away your pain and fear like it’s nothing. I don’t think humans were meant to live all alone.”
Leeds sounded feminine when he spoke, but the large body wrapped around mine was that of an adult man. The strength in his arms made me feel more safe and secure. It was a relief not just for my body, but it stabilized my spiraling emotions too.
I would have to grow if I wanted to support someone else how Leeds was supporting me.
I’m too childish for Dark to trust me with his troubles.
I felt mature for someone who was only sixteen, but it seemed I still had a lot of growing to do.
I sniffled, and Leeds nuzzled his cheek against mine.
“Poor thing. Men are always like this, I’ll have you know. They only act tough when they’re in control but go and get frightened when they’re powerless again. There’s nothing you can do when they start crying and lashing out like this.”
“Don’t rock her like that, or she’ll get sick.” Jack placed a cup in front of me. White steam was billowing up from the fresh tea.
Leeds let go of me, and I took the teacup.
Instead of light and smooth bone china, the dorm used shared dishes made of plain, thick ceramic. The cup wasn’t very hot, so I slowly carried it to my lips and took a sip.
My body grew warm from the inside once I swallowed the black tea.
“Thank you. I feel better now,” I said.
“So, what did Knightley say?” Jack had a serious expression. I bit my tongue.
I didn’t feel like I could explain it very well. I was still in shock but didn’t fully understand what Dark wanted to say to me either. Dark was still lovely even with horns. My love for him hadn’t changed now that his body was transformed.
Not a single part of him is ugly.
But Dark didn’t understand me.
I could tell him whatever I wanted—it wouldn’t matter unless I got him to listen to me. But there was one thing I was sure of.
“…I wish I could have gotten bigger like Dum and Dee.”
When those words quietly escaped my lips, Jack looked shocked.
“You what?”
“Bigger, huh? What’s this about?” Leeds asked.
“I could protect all of you if I was bigger, right? You would know you can rely on me. Dark doesn’t trust me right now, and that makes me incredibly upset…” I confessed.
Relationships in real life weren’t simple like in otome games. Male pride was difficult to grasp, and besides, I was too foolish to ensure we were always on the same page.
“I don’t know what I should do at a time like this,” I mumbled.
“Well, that’s only natural. There’s not always a single answer when it comes to love.” Leeds, an expert at romance, shared his knowledge with me. “If he says he wants to be apart, then why not keep your distance for a while? Sometimes, you just need a little cooling off. Why, I’ll jump for joy if he loses interest in you, my lady. It’s maddening to have the earl keep you all to himself. I’ve been deprived of my dose of Alice day after day!”
When Leeds stuck his lips out in a pout, Jack smacked him in the head with a tray. “Why do you need her every single day?” he asked the teary-eyed Leeds.
“That hurt! You’re going to knock my head off if you hit it that hard!”
“Your neck’s not that weak.”
“Who knows, after it was severed all those years ago.”
Leeds grinned. The sight of his toothy smile was identical to that of the Cheshire Cat.
A reluctant Jack began to fix the bent tray. “Not that rubbish again. I don’t care if the twins like it. No one else wants to hear your creepy stories.”
“But it’s true! Mother Goose is no different. You might knock my head off, but it won’t go rolling under the bed. Try looking up in a tree instead. Once you find me…”
“…Your head will still be grinning.”
When I finished his thought, Leeds gave me his biggest smile and wrapped his arms around me.
“You’re exactly right, my lady! Why don’t you forget about that silly old earl and have a tea party with me instead?”
“How many times are you going to keep hugging her? Don’t look so pleased with him either, my lady. He’ll just keep doing it!”
The merciless Jack swung the tray again. The sound of the metal colliding with Leeds’ hard head rang through Unicorn Dorm like a gong.