Touko looked sheepish as the boy lowered his head in apology. It seemed that she had already turned down his confession. The boy started babbling as though to save face, saying things like that he really wasn’t a good match for Touko or that he had overreached. Touko stopped him before he could go on further.
“That’s not the issue. It’s not you, or that we’re a bad match, it’s just…” Touko spoke with a clear smile that wasn’t fitting for the moment of rejection. “I don’t intend to fall in love with anyone.”
That reply from Touko seemed to reach right past the boy to strike me directly.
Once the boy gave a final bow of his head and left, Touko breathed out a deep sigh. Her shoulders slumped as though the nervousness were leaving her. As she looked down, her lips mumbled soundlessly.
It almost looked like she was murmuring, “I wonder why…”
Eventually, Touko straightened herself up and pulled the strap of her bag over her shoulder as she left. Watching her go, I exhaled a sigh and slumped down, as if mimicking her actions. I slowly closed my eyes and recalled Touko’s voice.
“Not with anyone ?” I leaned against the wall of the school building as I lamented. The sentiment was at once accompanied by relief and a certain contradictory sadness.
I wondered what kind of relationship I sought with Nanami Touko. Was it a bond far stronger than I could possibly hope to achieve?
I tried to say it out loud, but although no one was around to hear, my face felt hot with shame. Just imagining that I might end up telling Touko about those feelings someday made me feel dizzy.
Touko…
“Oh.”
It suddenly dawned on me. I needed to get to the student council room before Touko. I had told her I would be waiting.
I started running from the building. I remembered Touko running ahead of me during marathon training in PE. Still, surely my running would be faster than her walking. I wondered just how long it had been since I had last run as fast as I could over the ground. My breath bobbed along with the strap of my bag on my shoulder as I quickly ran to get to the student council room ahead of her.
Just as I saw the student council room coming into sight, I thought I heard footsteps behind me, so I turned—and my jaw dropped. Touko was running towards me.
She was gaining more and more on me, shortening the distance between us. At first, I tried to speed up and move faster, but then I came to my senses. If she had seen me, didn’t that mean there was no need to run anymore?
Touko overtook me as soon as I slowed down. Instead of going straight to the student council room, though, she traced a wide arc and came back around. She wasn’t even short of breath as she stopped in front of me.
“Wh-what is it?” I panted.
“I saw you running, so I thought something might have happened.” Touko was grinning with satisfaction at having caught up to me. “Nothing’s wrong?”
“No.”
“So you were just running for no reason?” Unable to admit otherwise, I stayed silent. Touko nodded thoughtfully. “I guess that does happen sometimes.”
Does it, though? I wasn’t sure why Touko accepted my lack of explanation so easily. The lie of omission left an unpleasant taste in my mouth.
“Did you have something you needed to do too, Sayaka?”
She must be referring to why I hadn’t reached the student council room yet. I thought of easy, believable replies, like yeah or just a little . But I wasn’t accustomed to lying without hesitation.
I was all too aware that I was a bad liar, so I decided to be honest. “I’m sorry. The truth is, I was watching while you were being confessed to, Touko.”
Before, when Touko asked me what I would do in a situation like this, I had replied that I wouldn’t say anything. Now I was doing just the opposite. I suppose sometimes you don’t know how you’ll react to a situation until it actually happens. You wind up thinking with your heart, and with your gut.
Once I confessed to my crime, Touko turned around and put her finger to her face. “I see. It was the same place where Serizawa and Ogaki-kun were, so…were you hiding in the shadows?”
She’d even correctly guessed my hiding place. When I nodded, Touko turned forward again, her lips pursed a bit sulkily.
“Not many people go through there, but I guess the student council officers would overhear things. I wonder if everyone would stop trying to confess in that spot if they knew.”
“Well, yes, I imagine so…”
“Still, it’s not as if I was going to hide it from you anyway, Sayaka… Ah, but I suppose he would probably prefer it to be a secret, hmm? So let’s keep this between us.”
Touko put her index finger up to her lips. I mimicked the gesture back to her, but I didn’t really understand what exactly we were trying to keep a secret.
“I heard voices, so I just went over without thinking.”
“So you couldn’t help it, huh? I did the same thing last time, so it’s not like I can judge.”
Touko grinned like a mischievous kid. I only rarely caught glimpses of such childlike moments from her, and during those times, I always turned my gaze away, overcome by my feelings for her. She was so dazzling, I couldn’t look at her directly.
“I need to be more careful about that spot next time someone confesses to me.”
“Right…” I felt like I was close to being overwhelmed by Nanami Touko. Who else could rightfully worry about such a thing? Next time… As if realizing what she had said, Touko paused and questioned her own prediction.
“I wonder if there will be a next time?”
“Of course there will.”
I don’t think I had ever been so sure about something that had to do with someone else.
You’re Nanami Touko, after all.