In the latter half of May, after midterms had finished, it was nearly time for us to swap out our seasonal uniforms. We had no events in June, so our work in the student council had reached a lull.
One day after school, when I tried to head over to the student council with Touko as usual, she replied: “Oh, you can go on ahead, Sayaka. I have to take care of something first.”
“Hmm.”
“What’s with that reaction?”
“Is someone confessing to you again or something?”
Her shoulders twitched noticeably.
“Goodness. I was mostly joking.” She had just been confessed to about two weeks ago, and now she was already getting another one. I suppose it was like how bamboo shoots appear right after a rain. “At this rate, the whole school’s going to have confessed to you.”
I spoke as though I were joking, but I was slightly jealous. Touko turned her head down and acted as though she were thinking.
“It’ll get awkward if rumors go around that I always reject them the same way…”
“That’s quite a novel problem to have.”
“But it would be weird if I had different reasons for each one, too.”
So I’ll reject this one with the same reason as always, her words seemed to imply. I felt relieved, though I didn’t say so out loud.
Touko always rejected confessions automatically… I had to wonder what her type was. Maybe her heart really wouldn’t be swayed in the slightest even if she received a confession from every single student in the school.
Including me.
“So if everyone at school were going to confess to me, would that include you, Sayaka?”
Her joke was so close to what I had been thinking that I nearly lost my cool.
“Maybe, but maybe not. Since I already know you’d reject me.” Joking or otherwise, just saying it out loud made my heart twist in pain.
“You don’t know that. Your confession might just be too charming to turn down.”
Touko’s jest made dreams blossom in my mind. I sorely wanted to go along with it, to put my feelings into words and deliver them to her. But my actual response was to only look up at the sky like a flightless bird.
“All right, then. If you can’t find anyone else…that might not be a terrible idea.”
I prayed that the lie, which was so precarious that it felt like it could topple over even now, told her nothing. Before Touko could reply, an interruption, or perhaps a lifeboat, came to my aid.
“Then maybe I’ll put my hat in the ring, too.”
This time it was my turn to twitch. Manaka stuck her face out from next to me. Behind her, Midori had her hands on her hips, her eyes narrowed in an exasperated expression.
“You already know how she’ll reply, so please just stop.”
“Aw, but you don’t actually know that.” Manaka sought agreement from Touko, who promptly rejected her with a smile.
“Sorry.”
“Oh, that was over quick.”
“Told you so.” For some reason, Midori seemed smug.
Instead of withdrawing, Manaka turned to me. “Then maybe I’ll try Sayaka.”
What’s that supposed to mean?
“What do you say?” Manaka innocently asked me out. I wondered what would happen if she chose the wrong person and they took her seriously. Then again, it might not have occurred to Manaka that there could be people like that.
“Sorry.”
“Aww.” Manaka slumped with unconvincing disappointment. “This is the first time I’ve been turned down twice in a day.”
“It’s no wonder, with the way you act.”
“Hm.” Manaka finally pulled back her head and then turned to Midori. “What about you, Midori?”
“Is that any way to ask?” Midori seemed at a loss for words. Finally, she pulled Manaka out of the classroom. “Come on, let’s just go.”
“But I’m not in the English conversation club with you.”
Before Manaka could get an answer about where they were going, the pair had disappeared. Once they made their noisy yet casual exit, Touko remarked, “They certainly seem close.”
“They really do.” Maybe they were just incredibly compatible.
“Oh, right, I was supposed to meet that person…” Touko checked the classroom clock and picked up her bag in a hurry. “Now that I think about it, they just asked me to meet them—it might not be a confession after all,” she added optimistically.
“Is there anything else you think it could be?”
“Not really.” Touko walked quickly towards the classroom door and then looked back at me with a promise, as though she were entrusting me with a key. “I’ll go to the student council room right after it’s done, so wait for me.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
I waved quietly and watched her leave.
Just waiting for her filled me with happiness. I had truly entrusted my whole heart to her. We were inextricably connected, at least in my mind. My heart would dance from the faintest of Touko’s reactions and storm at the most trivial of her words.
My footsteps were light as I headed to the student council room to wait for Touko.
I could hear voices behind the trees on my way over, like small breaths that seemed to lightly graze the surface of my ear. It was strange that I could hear them from such a far distance. This had happened in the past, too. That time, I hadn’t recognized the voices, so I wasn’t able to react.
But today was different. The voices grew more distinct as I approached the corner of the school building, and I peered around against my better judgment. When I saw Touko turned towards my direction and the back of a boy in front of me, I immediately hid.
This certainly was the scene of a confession. I guess this is the designated spot for it now, I thought absently.
“You have nothing to apologize for.”