The day after the hard battle against Wolfman, the party slept in until the afternoon to rest up!
“All right, that should do it!” Wataru urged the others on, primed to set off on their journey! “Let’s go!”
“Okay!”
“Let’s.”
Aria and Résistance began packing up their things!
“Hey, Résistance!! How much farther to the Demon Lord’s castle!?”
“Let’s see... At least two more days of travel, I’d say.”
“All right!” Even though Wataru had defeated all of the Four Masters, it seemed there would still be a tough journey ahead before they would reach the Demon Lord’s castle! But that small fact did not daunt Wataru in the slightest! “Okie dokie!!! Let’s get back on track and head for the Demon Lord!!!” he proudly declared, thrusting his trusty right arm towards the heavens!
The trio began climbing the dune before them! They treaded carefully, so as to not trip and slide back down the hill! As the afternoon sun beat down on them, the party carried on! When they crested the hill, they were all astonished by the view!
“...What!?!?” What could have Wataru, Aria and Résistance been so shocked to see at this moment!?!? Take a moment to think of something shocking, and once you have a well-formed guess, go ahead and read the next sentence, Dear Readers!
“...Isn’t that the Demon Lord’s castle!?!?”
“It sure is,” confirmed Résistance.
“The Demon Lord’s castle!” repeated Aria.
It was the Demon Lord’s castle! Much to their amazement, the Demon Lord’s castle was standing before them, engulfed in a vile aura! Had their view not been obscured by the hill they’d just climbed, they would have known that the Demon Lord’s castle was right under their noses!!
“That’s closer than I thought,” Résistance muttered, unconcerned.
“What do you mean ‘than you thought,’ Résistance!? You weren’t even close!”
“Chill out, Wataru. It’s been a while since I’ve come here.”
“Why’s that, though?” Aria interjected. “Don’t the Four Masters get summoned to the castle all the time? ...Unless you were being bullied by the others!”
“Never!” Résistance rushed to answer! “To be honest, there’s nothing to do around here. Whenever he’d have birthday parties or shoot fireworks or something, we always gathered at a more convenient location. So it’s been awhile since I’ve actually come all the way here.”
“I’ve been meaning to say this, but it sounds like the Four Masters have some fun office gatherings,” Aria remarked.
“I bet you guys had great health care, too!!”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. Let’s go.” Résistance stepped forward. “Not even I know what traps lie ahead. Wataru, Aria, you need to be very careful.”
The castle before them was very impressive in size, at least five stories tall! Steel double doors that appeared to be tightly sealed held the castle’s front gate. Naturally, infiltrating the castle would not be easy! Wataru imagined that the Demon Lord, the strongest being in this fantasy world, waited inside the fortress-like castle! He couldn’t contain his excitement!!!
“Aaaaghh!! I can’t wait!! Let’s go in!!!” Wataru began to jump-squat straight towards the castle gate!
Résistance grabbed him, using all her strength to hold him back! “Wait, Wataru! That’s suicide!”
“Why??? Is it the jump-squats!?!?!?”
“The Demon Lord’s castle is protected by a special magic barrier. The doors won’t budge for anyone without permission to enter the castle.”
“Oh, okay... Well, you’re the ex-Master, Résistance! Can you get in!?!?”
She shook her head! “I doubt it. Wolfman tried to kill me without question, too... As you’ve suspected, Wataru, the Demon Lord is trying to get rid of all of us, including me.”
Wataru’s party had already hit a roadblock! Infiltrating the Demon Lord’s castle, as expected, was not going to be an easy task!
Suddenly, Wataru found something standing beside the castle gate!!! “Hey!!!!! Look at that!!!!!”
The other two followed his outstretched finger to find a little kiosk with a large sign above it!
“What does the sign say!?!?” Wataru implored!
“‘Demon Lord’s Castle Gatekeeper...’” Aria read.
Résistance crossed her arms and looked dubious! “Strange. There was never a weird kiosk like that before...”
“They must have improved their security, knowing that Wataru would be coming.”
“All right, let’s check it out!”
“It’s a trap, Wataru. Don’t.” Résistance stopped him once again.
“She’s right, Wataru. Let’s look for another way in.”
Wataru completely ignored their pleas for rationality! “I’ll see what they have to say!!” Wataru resumed jump-squatting towards the kiosk! The other two reluctantly followed, each jump-squatting to the best of their abilities...!!
“Excuse me!!! Is anyone here!?!?!” Wataru called!
The kiosk attendant popped his head out! “Shut up! I’m not deaf, you know!”
The attendant had green skin, pointed ears and nose, and a short stature of four foot four! The angered attendant was a male goblin!
“Um, are you the gatekeeper of this castle?” Aria timidly asked!
“That’s right,” the goblin attendant admitted!
“All right, then let us in!” Wataru begged, with the expression of a Nio!
The attendant mercilessly shook his head! “No.”
“What!? Then what are we supposed to do!?!?” Wataru cried!
“My Demon Lord has told me all about you. Wataru, Aria, and Résistance, the ex-Master... If you want to get into the castle, you’ll have to go through me.”
“Bring it on! I’ll never turn down a fight!!” Wataru said, cracking his neck! His eyes burned bright with the fighting spirit of a challenger!
“Ooh, you have enthusiasm, I’ll give you that. But the rules of this game ain’t a simple fist fight!” The goblin attendant stepped out of the kiosk, and stood before Wataru’s party! He crossed his arms and declared: “I challenge you to a literary critique battle! We will each read a particular novel, and whoever writes the better review, wins!”
“????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????” Wataru’s confusion was audible! The sheer ridiculousness of this “battle” the goblin proposed nearly caused his mind to explode, and all Wataru could do was stand there and make that noise!
“Snap out of it, Wataru!” Aria shouted, violently shaking Wataru by his shoulders!!
“...Snp! That was close! My brain nearly suffered permanent damage... But a literary critique...!? I really didn’t expect something like this!”
“But how is the winner determined?” Aria asked!
“Don’t worry. We got a bona fide judge right here,” the goblin said, turning to Résistance!
“M-Me again...?”
Once again, the knight-in-armor with the long blue locks, Résistance, would serve as the judge in their contest!
“Who else but Résistance could pass fair judgment in a battle between human and monster!?”
“I guess you have a point...” Résistance reluctantly accepted!
“Now, allow me to introduce myself before we do battle. Name’s Booker! Booker the goblin! I read over a thousand novels a year! I eat, sleep, and read! Of course, critiquing a book ain’t nothing but a thing to me!” Booker proudly declared!
Wataru’s confidence seemed shaken in light of this introduction! “Erm. I read as many books as the next man, but I’ve never critiqued any of them... This is bad!!”
Wataru was at the edge of a proverbial cliff!
“The novel we’ll be reading is this.” Booker scuttled around the kiosk, and brought out a book!!
The cover prominently featured a drawing of a female orc in very revealing clothing!! With ginormous boobs!!
“What the hell is that!?”
“This is the high-fantasy novel that’s all the rage in the Wind Continent this year! It’s called It’s Me, a Shy Orc Loner with a Heart of Gold (Notice Me, Senpai!) Who Got Reborn In Another World, a.k.a. ‘Isekai,’ Where I Am Getting Into All Sorts of Troubles, Hijinks, and Shenanigans, Oh My! Or Me, Oh My! for short!”
“That title is so long! It’s stupid!!!!!” Wataru unleashed his wrath!!!!!
Aria stopped him! “I’m sorry, Wataru! That’s the trend in the Wind Continent right now!”
Alas, we are all slaves to trends! Wataru had no choice but to accept the challenge as-is!!
“There are four hours on the clock!” Booker declared! “We will each read the first chapter of this novel, and write a review of it!”
“Damn...! I gotta do what I gotta do! Aria, I can’t read the language of this world! Read the chapter out loud for me!”
“No problem! We’re almost at the Demon Lord! We can do this!”
The dramatic contest of literary criticism between Wataru and Booker began...!
The party (and Booker) had moved away from the Demon Lord’s castle to a stage that had been built specifically for this contest. Despite that grandiose description, it was no more than a simple platform of sun-bleached wood that stood open under the glittering sun of the wasteland. There only things on the stage were two desks, each one with a stack of paper and a quill. Nevertheless, the destinies of Wataru and his allies would be determined here. The party stepped up to the platform with intense expressions.
“...Let us begin. Are you ready?” Booker prompted. Wataru nodded. “We’ll have Résistance give the go-ahead.”
Résistance nodded. “On your marks... get set... Review!”
The moment Résistance said the final word, Aria and Booker both immediately opened their copy of the book. Booker rapidly began to flip the novel, turning page after page and reading just as quickly.
“We can’t fall far behind...! Let’s do this, Wataru!”
“Rvw!!!!!” Wataru shouted, crossing his log-thick arms.