Chapter 30:
I’ll Punch Zabine
“WHY WON’T SIR POLIDORO COME MEET ME?” Zabine wailed.
“I don’t care,” a member of the corps answered.
Princess Valiele’s corps were drinking at a cheap tavern near the slums. They’d purchased an entire cask of liquor and reserved the tavern for themselves. As they chugged their alcohol, Zabine, the captain of the corps, vented her anger.
“I spoke with him in hopes of sharing an intimate relationship as a man and a woman!” Zabine cried. “And Sir Polidoro even said that he wished to strengthen our ties!”MY
“Ugh, I’ve grown tired of hearing you complain,” a member of the corps groaned.
Despite the captain’s anger, everyone treated her coldly. A drunk Zabine slumped face down onto the table and raised her arm in the air, waving her hand about.
“Wait, did you guys even hear what Princess Valiele said yesterday?” a corps member asked. “She’ll host a farewell party soon. It’ll be a small one in a tiny room of the palace, but it’ll be with her, Sir Polidoro, and her corps. It’s a very exclusive party.”
“Of course I know that,” Zabine replied. “But Sir Polidoro’s been staying in the royal capital for the past month. Surely he could spare some time to show up and offer me a quick greeting.”
A corps member who wasn’t completely smashed yet piped up. “Y’know, I heard that Anhalt didn’t want Sir Polidoro to look horrendous in front of Villendorf. I think he’s busy getting fitted for a suit of Maximilian armor. He’s apparently been cooped up in a forge. And you know what else? The cost of his armor will be fully covered by the crown princess’s budget. I’m so envious.”
She’d heard the page boys of the palace murmuring these rumors. In other words, this intel was new and hadn’t made the rounds just yet.
“Wait, that’s news to me,” Zabine said. “When did you hear that? And why don’t I know about it?”
Indeed, it was unusual for Zabine, a person with sharp ears who was quick to pick up on rumors, not to have learned of this. Usually, she was the one who brought new intel to the corps.
“I heard it really recently,” the corps member replied. “That page boy mocked Sir Polidoro’s muscular body, though, so I reported him to Princess Valiele.”
The two princesses had recently become quite close with each other. It was very likely that when Princess Valiele received the report, she’d inform Princess Anastasia, and the page boy would be thrown out of the palace while his fief received a harsh scolding. Serves him right, one of the corps members thought. All the while, she continued to listen to Zabine’s words.
“Why didn’t you tell me so sooner?!” the captain wailed. “If I’d known that, I would’ve rushed into the forge! Even when I visited the lodging he stayed at as the princess’s advisor, his citizens refused to give me a clear answer about his whereabouts! I may not be much, but I’m still the captain of Her Highness’s corps, you know!”
“I mean, I just learned about it,” the corps member replied. “Also, if you rushed to the forge and interrupted his business, wouldn’t you make a horrible impression on him? And since armor’s being forged, you might catch a glimpse of the smiths’ trade secrets.”
While none of the corps knew for sure what Faust was up to in the forge, if he was busy, they didn’t want to intrude. If they forced themselves on him and became a nuisance, it’d only leave him infuriated with them.
“Then what should I have done?” Zabine asked.
“Too late to rue your actions,” a corps member replied. “Besides, what did you wanna do with him anyway?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I wanna have sex with him. I wanted to spend the past month fostering a friends-with-benefits relationship with him.”
Is she an idiot? the corps member wondered. She even considered cutting the conversation short. There were a total of fourteen women in the corps, and none of them held any ties with men. Zabine’s first mistake was consulting the corps over her woes, but it wasn’t as though she had anyone else to turn to. It wouldn’t be right for her to go to Princess Valiele, who was only fourteen, with her concerns. However, our captain did once try to beg for money from Her Highness’s budget to go to an expensive brothel. But bygones, I suppose.
Zabine stomped her feet on the ground angrily. She always did so when things didn’t go her way. At her worst, she’d roll on the ground and throw tantrums like a child. She was no different from a chimpanzee. The corps members wondered what kind of job her parents had done raising her, but everyone swiftly agreed that Zabine must never have been disciplined properly. In fact, the sad reality was that no one in the corps had received proper knight training. It was an unfortunate story, but even so, Zabine was the worst of them all—she truly exhibited utterly unbecoming behavior for a lady of noble blood. Every corps member knew that they were better than her in terms of conduct.
“I just wanna have sex with Sir Polidoro!” Zabine cried.
“I don’t care,” a corps member replied. She continued to chug her liquor. “You’re asking the wrong people. Everyone here’s a virgin—none of us have had romantic experiences. I don’t know what you want from us.”
“I wanna sleep with him!”
“Dude, listen to me. If you’re coming to us for advice, at least pay attention to what we’re saying.”
Zabine wasn’t the type to listen. She lay on the ground and flailed her legs angrily, a clear display that she was inebriated. So, Sir Polidoro’s her type of man, the corps member thought. Wait, no, she first thought so when she spoke with him and instinctively assumed that they’d clicked. I’m not sure if she can live out her degenerate erotic fantasies every day with a serious man like Sir Polidoro. But whatever. We’re gonna tag along with him in his new suit of armor for negotiations.
“Zabine, what do you think’ll happen in Villendorf?” the corps member asked.
“That was sudden. Why do you ask?” Zabine replied.
“Their taste in men is completely different from our kingdom’s.”
Anhalt loved men who were slender, short, and meek. Villendorf, however, was the polar opposite. They preferred brawny and tall men with fierce personalities. And Sir Polidoro checked off all the boxes for Villendorf’s standards. Furthermore, he was by no means an ugly man—in fact, he was handsome. The corps member was an Anhalt knight, and unfortunately, Faust simply was not her type. Make no mistake, I know that he’s Anhalt’s hero. I know that he’s got a good personality too, and as he goes to negotiate peace…
“Sir Polidoro will be immensely popular with the ladies in Villendorf,” the corps member said. “Plus, he’s the man who killed their hero, Reckenbell, in a fair duel. He’s absolutely flawless—their ideal man. What’ll you do?”
“What do you mean?” Zabine asked.
“Uh, are you fine with him being stolen away from you? To be clear, he isn’t yours, but you know what I mean.”
Just as Knight Captain Reckenbell had once done, surely many people of Villendorf would challenge Faust to duels for his hand in marriage. Faust wasn’t the type to lose those matches, but there’d likely also be women who would try to woo him, plain and simple. The corps member wanted to know if Zabine didn’t mind such danger, but the captain waved her hand nonchalantly while she remained lying on the ground.
“Duke Astarte relentlessly asked him to be her paramour,” Zabine said. “And every time, he declined her offer. You think someone like him would be wooed by Villendorf, an enemy nation? You’re naïve.”
“Elaborate,” the corps member replied.
Many corps members were confused by Zabine’s words as she waved her hand and then made a tight fist.
“See, the most important things to Sir Polidoro are his fief that’s been handed down to him, and his citizens who risk their lives to follow his orders,” Zabine said. “He won’t be wooed by anyone who tries to take those two things away from him. Besides, how can a woman of Villendorf guarantee that she’d protect his land and people?” She grunted and stood up. “Maybe their queen could, but that’s about it.”
“She’s still a threat, then,” the corps member pointed out.