Even if the protagonist’s present and the guests are all hotties, a study party’s still just a study party in the end. “How was I supposed to know that it would end up like that?” is not a piece of narration I figured I’d have any need for that time around. I was living in a peaceful world, after all—a world in which insane, novel-like twists just didn’t come up very often.
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“Man, my internal clock’s accurate to a fault!”
I woke up bright and early at precisely 8 a.m. on the day of the study party, no problem whatsoever. Normally that’d mean that I was late, but with it being Saturday, I feel like not sleeping in until noon was praiseworthy, if anything. Nice going, me!
“We were supposed to meet up at ten, and our meeting place was less than twenty minutes away. Most people would use that as an excuse to go back to bed. Most people would...but I’m not most people!”
“Nope, you sure aren’t. Gonna be honest, you showing up early’s not something I saw coming at all,” Kaito grumbled as he sleepily rubbed his eyes. He was still wearing his pajamas, and his bedhead was really something—he’d probably just woken up.
The moment I got out of bed, I’d rushed through my morning routine and dashed out towards Kaito’s house. And I mean, like, really dashed, or at least walked double-time. As for why I’d do something so out-there in the first place... Okay, fine, I admit it: petty revenge for forcing me to come. It really was just an impulse.
“Sooo, does starting an hour early mean I get to leave an hour early too?” I asked hopefully.
“No,” Kaito bluntly declared as he plodded back into his house. I followed along after him.
“Did your sister already leave?”
“Hmm? Mngh...” Kaito grunted vaguely in reply, but he also nodded, which cleared things up.
I hadn’t actually asked in advance about whether or not Ayase Hikari would be home that day, but I knew from past experience that the odds were very good she wouldn’t be around. We’d had a number of study parties back when we were first-years, and Kaito always scheduled them on days when she’d be out and about.
He never actually explained why, but I sort of assumed that he thought it’d be in poor taste to have a casual, friendly study group lord it up in front of her while she was hitting the books hard for her entrance exam... Wait. Huh? Wouldn’t that mean it’s not a problem anymore since she’s in high school now...?
“Want some coffee, Kou?”
“Ah, sure.” Meh, whatever. She’s not around regardless, so it all worked out in the end... Or so I tried to tell myself, keeping the fact that I was actually super nervous about it out of my internal monologue. “Kaitooo, gimme breakfast!”
“Maybe if you’d eaten at home, you wouldn’t have been quite so early...”
“My pure and maidenly heart drove me to rush out and meet with my best friend as soon as possible!”
“Gross.” Now that’s how a real protagonist snaps at someone! Kaito was still a kind person at heart, though, and benevolently granted me a bowl of rice. See? He’s nice to guys too! Didn’t give me a portion of grilled fish and a bowl of miso soup to go with it, but hey, it’s still something. That peaceful, laid-back atmosphere wouldn’t last, though.
“Gah, it’s this late already?” noted Kaito. Time had flown by, and it was already ten minutes till ten. He quickly washed off the dishes, then dashed upstairs. He probably didn’t want to welcome the heroines into his home with a bad case of bedhead.
“Can you answer the door if someone rings the bell, Kou?”
“Sure,” I replied listlessly from the couch I’d collapsed onto. My initial overenthusiasm had worn off, and laziness, irritability, and sleepiness were rushing in to take its place. My absolute earliest chance to get out of there would probably be in an hour or so. If I made my move any earlier than that, my homeroom teacher would get summoned, and the study party I already didn’t want to be at would turn into an absolute living hell.
“Kou? Can you get the door?” Kaito’s voice rang out from the second floor. Apparently, the bell had rung. I’d been so occupied by praying that it wouldn’t that I hadn’t heard it at all.
“Okay, okay,” I mumbled. “Be right there...” I stood up and plodded towards the door, feeling incredibly lethargic. I figured that this must be how old men who’ve reached retirement age, moved into their married kid’s home, and totally lost all motivation must feel. Not something I wanted to experience at this stage of my life, thanks! “If you’re selling newspapers, we have enough already...”
“Kou!”
“Whaugh?!” The second I opened the door, a girl burst in and embraced me. For a moment, I was overwhelmed by her fragrance, softness, and warmth.
“Kou, it’s really you! Thank goodness! You’re all better now, aren’t you?!”
“R-Renge-san?! Wh-What’re you doing?!”
“Oh, enough with the ‘-san’! Don’t be so distant! You can call me Renge-onee-chan, like always!”
“When have I ever called you that?!”
It was Renge, and her attitude was completely unlike how she usually acted around me. She was being ridiculously clingy. I mean, I guess that back when I first met her she’d forced herself to be clingy in order to thaw the block of rock-hard ice that was my heart, but it really was just an act back then. All that excessiveness was a matter of necessity, and I couldn’t think of any good reason why she’d have to go that far now.
And yet go that far she did, hugging me as tightly as she could and pulling my face into her chest. She was petting my hair like you’d pet one of those big, poofy dogs. And it didn’t feel good at all. Actually, she was pulling on my hair pretty badly—okay ow, ow, OW! Stoppit!
“Kooou! Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?!”
“What am I, your pet?!”
“Oh, my pet, that’s a good idea! I can put a collar on you, have you live in a cage, and brag about you online!”
“Oh my god, that went off the rails so fast!”
“Kou? What’s going on down there?” Kaito, drawn by the ruckus we were kicking up, came down the staircase. O-Oh, crap! Kaito thinks that Renge and I hate each other... I mean, okay, he thinks that I have a super intense one-sided grudge against her, so if he sees her hugging me like this we’ll be in serious hot water!
“Good morning to you, Ayase-kun.”
“Oh, Renge-san! Good morning.”
“Wait, when’d you let go?!” L-Like, seriously, I swear I was drowning in boobs literally a split second ago! It was like that thing you see in cartoons where a character runs right off a cliff, doesn’t notice, and gets to keep running until they finally look down and gravity kicks in. She’d broken away a long time before, but the sensation remained until I noticed... Are her boobs just that overwhelming?!
“Let go of what, now?” asked Kaito, quizzically.
“Err, ah, umm... Her preference for printed text over digital media?”
“Her what?” Kaito rolled his eyes in a jovial way while Renge sighed with exasperation. Kaito was one thing, but it was really irritating to get that sort of treatment from her, considering. “You got here pretty early today, huh, Renge-san?” he continued.
“Yes, since it’s all too common for some unexpected matter to call me away at a moment’s notice, I thought it would be best to arrive as early as possible.”
“That so? Well, I really appreciate you going to the trouble. Oh, and you don’t have to stand in the entryway forever; come on in! We’ve got a pretty big group today, so I figured we’d set up in the living room.”
Kaito hustled the rest of the way down the staircase. Renge smiled innocently, though from my perspective, she still looked pretty fishy. Incidentally, Kaito had changed into a stylish set of casual clothing.
“That wouldn’t suit you, Kou,” Renge whispered as she walked past me, her lips so close to my ear they were almost touching it. “You aren’t tall enough for an outfit like that.”
“Hey, who said I was jealous...? And hey, stop reading my mind!” Yeah, okay, so super slim, stylish pants like those might look weird on me... Actually, wait, do stylish people even call them “pants”? Don’t they have, like, specific names? Like jeans, or briefs, or chinos, or boxers, or capris? I wonder if girls’ clothing is like that too? Like, if you slipped up with your pronunciation just a little when you’re making a wish on the you-know-what balls, could their god end up sending you a fancy skirt instead of a pair of panties? Not that that’d be any worse, necessarily.
“Oh, hey, you’re here already, Kunugicchi?”
“Gah?! Kotou?!”
“’Sup! Kyou-chan’s here too!” She really was. The two of them had shown up in the entryway before I knew it and nearly gave me a heart attack in the process.