“Maybe we should go somewhere else...?” I listlessly suggested. We weren’t going to get any studying done in that climate. The others agreed without hesitation. We left the library and headed towards the nearest of our houses, which happened to be mine. My brother had his own study group going on, but he never told me to stay away, and with only three of us, I figured we could just hole up in my room if we had to.
“Now that I think about it, Ayase-senpai’s probably at your house, huh?” mentioned Rena-chan offhandedly.
“You know my brother?”
“Yeah, we’ve met! Plus, I...”
“You...?”
She hesitated for a moment. “Nah, never mind, not important.” She chuckled, and it sort of felt like she was trying to brush the topic aside. Did something happen between her and my brother? At the very least, she didn’t seem reluctant to go to my house. “You’re okay with going over there, right, Yuu-chan?”
“This’ll be my first time at Hikari-chan’s house! I’m super duper curious!”
“I don’t think there’s anything at my house worth being curious about...” The most I could do in reply to Yuu-chan’s overly elevated expectations was let out a strained laugh.
Thankfully, the library wasn’t far from my house at all. It was easily within walking distance, and we had just enough time to make some pleasant, getting-to-know-each-other small talk before we arrived.
It was my own house, of course, but I knew that my brother’s friends would be in, so I couldn’t help but be a bit stealthy as I opened the door and peeked inside. I heard the other two quietly mumble “excuse us” as they stepped inside, so they must have been in the same mindset. You’d think we were trying to sneak up on someone to play a prank.
“Oh? Sounds like they’re really living it up in there,” commented Rena-chan. “And isn’t that voice...?” Yuu-chan, meanwhile, was quietly growling.
It was true—they were making an awful lot of noise in the living room. I wasn’t sure why Rena-chan and Yuu-chan seemed so interested, but the voices were definitely catching my attention as well. One of them was Tsumugi-chan, but the other...was the voice of a boy I didn’t know.
No...the voice of a boy I shouldn’t have known. I felt like I’d heard him somewhere before, though. Most likely I’d just heard him in passing at school, at some point or another...but somehow, strangely, I couldn’t get his voice out of my head. It was a mysterious feeling...like I’d heard him before, somewhere a long, long time ago. I felt a tightness in my chest, and the corners of my eyes were strangely warm.
I mustered up my nerve and looked back at the others. “Should we go see what’s happening in there?” They both nodded in agreement, and I reached for the doorknob. As I grabbed it, I noticed that my palm was oddly sweaty. Was I nervous? Nervous to meet that voice’s owner?
That voice... I really do know it from somewhere. But, no... It couldn’t be, right...?
My thought process was a chaotic, jumbled mess, but I took a long, deep breath and forced myself to calm down. Then I opened the door.
“I’m home, Kaito! What’s going on in—”
“BOOBS! ARE!!! FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!”
In that instant, the atmosphere in the room completely froze, and so did everyone in it. The three of us surely looked utterly horrified. I glanced around the room at everyone else, including the boy standing in the center who’d just shouted with all his might, and noticed they all had similar looks painted on their faces. His eyes were wide open, and he was staring straight at me. I was staring right back at him as well. I’d never seen him before...no, I had. I’d seen him somewhere. And I knew that it hadn’t just been in passing. I knew him. I just couldn’t remember. I couldn’t remember him at all.
My chest hurt. I could barely breathe. I couldn’t tear my eyes off him. It was like I’d been compelled by a magical spell to be powerfully, irresistibly drawn to him. To that boy, whose name I didn’t even know. I was barely paying attention to the conversation, even as I participated in it—I was focused almost entirely on him. It felt like his name was on the tip of my tongue, but it just wouldn’t come out. I’d never felt anything like it—it was frustrating, heartbreaking, and infuriating all at once.
“And, umm, the boy who’s collapsed over there would be...?” I finally asked.
“Oh, right, that’s Kou,” replied my brother. “I’ve told you about him before, right?”
“Kou... O-Oh, yes, that’s right! Kou-san—I mean, Kou-senpai.”
Kou-san. The moment I said it, I was overwhelmed by the strangest sense of nostalgia. I knew him. I really did know him. The moment I said his name out loud, I was certain of it. I’d called him by that name before. But still, I just couldn’t remember. I didn’t know when or where I’d met him. My heart was pounding out of my chest; it felt like I’d end up grinning like an idiot the second I let my guard down, and my tear ducts felt like they were moments away from opening up the floodgates. But still, I couldn’t remember the first thing about him.
I knew that he was the mysterious something I’d forgotten about. I had no idea why I couldn’t remember him. Maybe I’d lost the memories in an accident, or maybe they’d somehow been taken from me. But I knew one thing for sure:
I loved him. No—I still love him. No matter how many memories I lose, I will never forget that one, simple fact. It’s like it’s engraved into my very soul. He might even be him, the boy from my dreams... But, no, that might be setting my expectations too high...
It might have been, and yet the pounding of my heart, the emotions welling up within me... Somehow, I couldn’t bring myself to think of them as mine alone.