Could it be that I met him, or at least someone who filled that same role for the current me...? But then I forgot them...? How? Why...?
As I traced my fingers across the drawing, a strange, conflicted sensation I couldn’t explain filled my heart, and I found myself crying again in an instant.
Beepbeepbeepbeep!
I yelped with surprise as my cell phone’s alarm brought me back to my senses. It was the time I’d usually get up...meaning I had to go get breakfast ready. I hadn’t stopped cooking, even during the week I took off from school.
I’d finally found a lead, but when all was said and done, it just made everything all the more painful. It was like the world itself was telling me that I’d never be able to remember whatever it was I’d forgotten. I shoved the sketchbook back into my desk—like I was running away from it.
“Since I forgot, does that mean that I’d be better off if I never remembered?”
No. It couldn’t. My heart immediately and violently rebelled against the thought. But then, what could I do? Even after seeing that unfinished portrait, I still wasn’t even completely convinced that whatever I’d forgotten was a person. It must’ve been something that I, myself, wanted to forget. The pain, the tears I couldn’t stop, were because I was weak. I’m sure he would be disgusted with me if he saw me acting like that.
“I can do this...”
I tried to pep myself back up and get in the right mindset to make breakfast, but even I was disappointed by how feeble and unenthusiastic my voice came out.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I managed to calm down a little after I got to school. That was thanks to Yuu-chan, probably—my bright, cheery, ever so slightly derpy best friend. My gloom was quickly swept away whenever she was around. People say that it’s easier to face hard times when you have someone else there to be with you, and I was starting to appreciate how true that was.
She wasn’t the only distraction at school, though. Right after class ended, a girl leapt into my classroom and scared me half to death.
“Ah, Hikari-chan! You’re Ayase Hikari-chan, right?”
“Huh...?”
She had a pretty boyish sort of aura, and even though she was in another class, she burst through all the social barriers revolving around that sort of thing and strolled right into our class like it was nothing. I knew who she was—she was pretty famous in our school.
“Ah, did I surprise you? My bad,” she continued. “I’m Kazuki Rena! You can just call me Rena, though!”
“All right, Rena-chan. Did you need something?” I replied.
“Yeah, and I know this is gonna sound like it’s coming out of nowhere,” she said, scratching her head a bit bashfully, “but I was wondering if you might wanna study together tomorrow?”
“Study together? With you?” That was a surprise. I knew about Rena-chan from the rumors about the incredible first-year who took the track team by storm, but it was my first time properly talking to her.
“Sorta ashamed to admit it, but I’ve had a lot of crazy stuff going on lately, and I haven’t been able to, y’know, sit still and stuff... And I know I gotta study since finals’re right around the corner and all... So anyway, I need someone to watch over me and keep me on task! Please?!”
“W-Watch over you?! I’m not so sure about that, but a study group... Um, okay.”
“For real?! Awesome, thanks!”
Rena-chan was ecstatic, and honestly, it was a really timely opportunity for me too. I certainly wouldn’t be able to concentrate if I tried to study at home on my own, so I figured I’d have her return the favor and keep an eye on me as well.
Just then, a quiet, timid voice rang out. “Hikari-chan?”
“Oh, Yuu-chan?”
Yuu-chan was usually incredibly cheerful and more than a little loud, but she was also severely shy. She was openly shrinking away from Rena-chan.
“You’re having a study group?” she asked, a bit fearfully.
“Oh?” cut in Rena-chan before I could answer. “Hikari-chan, who’s this little cutie?”
“I’m Yuu!”
“You’re me?”
“You know who you sorta remind me of, Rena-chan...?” grumbled Yuu-chan. “You remind me of that guy!”
“I dunno who ‘that guy’ is, but I’ll take that as a compliment!”
“It isn’t! It’s the worst insult out there!” I didn’t really understand what they were talking about, but it seemed like Yuu-chan was lowering her walls just a little. Whoever “that guy” was, I assumed he had something to do with it. “Anyway, back to the study group—I wanna come too! I’ve gotta show Hikari-chan all my notes from the week she missed, after all!”
“The more, the merrier! You don’t mind, right, Hikari-chan?”
“Of course not! Would you like to invite any of your friends too?”
“Nah, it’s cool! I don’t really have many friends to begin with!”
“I don’t really think that’s something you should joke about...” Though of course, Yuu-chan and I couldn’t exactly talk when it came to not having many friends. I decided not to press the issue. Birds of a feather flock together, as they say.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
The day of our study group arrived. By pure coincidence, my brother had decided to have a study session with his friends at our house that same day, so we decided to meet up at a library near our school.
“Soooo hot...” I moaned.
“It iiis...” Yuu agreed.
“Yeah,” added Rena, “this is pretty rough...”
The midsummer heat was murderous both inside and out, and we barely lasted a minute before we were down for the count. And, as luck would have it, the library’s air conditioner was on the fritz, meaning that being in there was almost worse than being outside. The air felt stagnant in there—it was so hot and muggy, it felt like we were in a sauna. I was sort of worried it might damage the books.