“Don’t… Don’t cry, Madam Monica.” Xenu wiping my tears made me realize I was crying. When I looked up at him, I saw genuine concern for me in his eyes as he stared down at me. “I really think you should marry me, Madam Monica.”
“I…”
“I’m not saying you should have a change of heart right away. What if we bonded ourselves with a contract marriage and went abroad together? You wouldn’t be treated as the Arousing Priestess. In this world, you would be free and known only as a merchant’s wife.” He pressed his case despite my clear confusion. “If you remain near His Highness, you too might someday be ordered to enter into a political marriage with a noble, you know.”
“Ah…”
My eyes widened. Why didn’t I notice until now? Richard had always made a place for me to belong. He even told me he had no intention of letting me go. As a finishing touch in his efforts to build a home for me, from his perspective, it would be natural to marry me off to someone else.
That’s right… There’s no contradiction. If I marry some noble, I can help him even if I retire from being a saint. I can still create a place to belong. So…is that what Richard meant…when he said he wouldn’t let me go…?
“Madam Monica, you are originally a commoner. Didn’t your queen’s education show you that you won’t ever become like those noblewomen, good only for window dressing?”
“Indeed… I can never become one of them.”
My palms were thick from manual labor and my skin tanned easily in the summer. I couldn’t fulfill my mission as an elegant aristocrat whose every movement was restricted. Because I was a saint of common origin and a workaholic at heart who loved her job.
“Another thing.”
“Ah…”
Xenu lifted my chin up to meet his gaze—then he leaned down to whisper in my ear. “If you agree to go with me, you won’t ever have to see His Highness getting married. How does that sound to you?”
“…!”
“Picture it. Just like Their Majesties Belktrius…he weds a high-ranking noblewoman and the two walk side by side happily, bearing children who know their father’s love… Tell me. Can you still stay by his side then, watching over him like you do now?”
He moved his hand away from underneath my jaw and reverently took one of mine. While placing a kiss on the back of my hand with his cold lips, he pierced me with his eyes. Feeling like prey being hunted, I found myself unable to move. I couldn’t look away from him either.
“So, Madam Monica, won’t you choose me? We can leave the castle as early as tomorrow.”
“I…”
“Choose me. You’ll make everyone happy if you do. Don’t worry. It’ll all be fine.”
He used his grip on my hand to pull me closer then wrapped me softly in his arms. Hidden by the parasol, he brushed a finger across my cheek. The moment his faint smile disappeared, Xenu lowered his face to mine. He was going to kiss me.
I didn’t know what to do. My head was a jumbled mess of emotions. If I saw Richard marrying someone else joyously, I knew I couldn’t send him off with a smile or applause. But marrying Xenu to escape was… Wrong.
“I’m sorry.” I shrugged out of his arms and stepped out from under the parasol. And then I immediately bowed my head deeply to him. “I…can’t use you like that, Xenu. Not for marriage. It hurts me terribly to think of Richard leaving my side after he marries. But…I can’t accept a political marriage either. Even a marriage in name only won’t work for me. Forgive me.”
I recalled the wedding ceremony I saw in my dream. To me, it was the most natural thing in the world to want a happy wedding blessed by everyone in the village. I knew it would never come true.
Then there was the next part of that dream. Where Richard lifted my veil in a cold, dark church attended by indifferent guests. It didn’t matter that we didn’t have their blessings. I knew it was absurd that Richard had even been the groom. And yet.
“I…I want to marry the one I love… No other marriage will do,” I asserted.
I couldn’t kiss anyone except Richard.
Xenu remained silent for a very long time before he asked me a question. “…Then, can I assume that’s your choice now?”
“Yes.”
“All right, I understand.”
From under the parasol, he smiled at me, his attitude nonchalant. “I wouldn’t want to come off as unromantic if I keep pushing you when you’re so clearly reluctant, Madam Monica. I’ll back off for now. But know that I’m not giving up. Not yet. So…if you ever need someone to cling to in tears, my arms are always open.” He placed a palm on his chest and bowed respectfully.
“You don’t have to do that. I’d hate it if I’m the reason you never marry,” I said.
“Divorce exists, you know. And I wouldn’t mind being your paramour either. There’s lots of ways we can be together.”
“I think…I might dislike you.” I stared at Xenu, unamused by his comments, and he merely shrugged in response. Then he changed the subject.
“By the way, Madam Monica, if you won’t run away with me by marrying me, what do you plan to do?”
“I don’t understand the question.”
“Well, think about it. Wouldn’t it be hard for you to stay by Prince Richard once he marries?”
“Urk…” I moaned in despair at Xenu, who clearly only asked me this question to entertain himself. “While I admit it’s painful to be by his side, I don’t want to marry anyone else either.”
“So passionate. I hope he appreciates it.”
“Although I suppose the safe choice would be to enter a convent and spend the rest of my life cloistered there,” I said.
“Ahhh, that actually suits you really well. I can imagine it easily.” Xenu lowered his eyelids in a friendly manner and agreed emphatically. “One attached to an orphanage might be nice, since you love children, Madam Monica.”
“Good point. If I won’t be having any of my own, I would enjoy taking care of others’,” I replied to him with a bright laugh. Then a sudden movement caught my eye and my gaze shifted. “Huh?”
It was Richard.