“Ow, ow, ow... Tanya, please don’t forget, your mana’s boosting your physical stats now,” Laplace whimpered as she sat in a chair in the corner of the store.
After three hundred years, she was finally free. During that time, both the capital city of Ode and its people had changed dramatically.
While Tanya was getting dressed, Laplace looked around the store. Customers were sparse, but a fair few female adventurers had come and gone.
Then, after a while, it hit her:
“Wait... Aren’t they dressed a little too lightly?”
The Healers, the Mages, plus both of the Thieves she saw—they were all barely wearing any armor at all. In fact, some of them were essentially walking around in bikinis.
“Is this some kind of fashion trend? I don’t get it...”
Makes me wonder what Tanya’s putting on. As a Magi-Knight, she’ll need all kinds of armor—everything from shoulder pads to gauntlets. Surely SHE won’t walk out in a glorified bikini, right?
“Ta-daaa! Here I am!”
“Oh, welcome back, TanyaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHH! What on earth is THAT?!”
“Huh?”
“Why are you in a STRIPPER OUTFIT?!?”
“What?! This isn’t a stripper outfit! It’s ladies’ armor!”
“In what world is that considered ARMOR?! You do realize Knights fight on the front lines, yes?! Why wouldn’t you want to cover your midriff?!”
Indeed—Tanya had popped out of the dressing room wearing bright pink bikini armor.
“And here I thought your Mage getup was a little exhibitionist... Tanya... Could it be that you’re a... what’s the word... a nymphomaniac?!”
“Wh... Rude much?! Look... do you think I WANT to wear this?! Because I don’t! But it’s what the Adventurers’ Association recommends!”
“What?”
“Here—see this official seal of approval? You have to wear equipment with this mark or else you can’t work for the Guild!”
Tanya’s face flushed brighter than her pink bikini. Beside her, the shopkeeper grinned smugly. Meanwhile, Laplace’s jaw dropped. Unbelievable. How could the Adventurers’ Association possibly approve of such flagrantly unsafe armor?
“This style’s been in fashion ever since we found out that women have to expose as much skin as possible in order to boost their mana sensitivity.”
Aha. That explained why it seemed as though every female adventurer was so ridiculously scantily clad: they were being lied to. Truly lamentable.
Laplace sighed heavily. In her absence, society had gone backwards, and apparently now people were spreading misinformation about magical theory. As a result, the masses had grown ignorant.
“Haaah...”
“What’s the matter, lady? Got a problem with my store?”
“Non, non. My problem is with societal power structures.”
“Societal what now?”
“Your idea of what’s normal. Your customs. No one realizes how utterly corrupted they’ve become.”
“The hell are you talkin’ about?”
“Fine. Listen up, you two. The great and beautiful Laplace will give you a lecture on just how stupidly pointless this stripper armor truly is.”
With a snap of her fingers, a swirl of letters and diagrams appeared in mid-air.
“Wh-What the?! No incantation?!” the shopkeeper yelped.
His voice echoed through the otherwise empty store.
“...So, in conclusion, mana circuits form the foundation of all magic. The key is in knowing how to circulate and amplify your mana in order to produce the desired result. That’s it. There is absolutely no correlation between mana sensitivity and bare skin. Zero. Zilch. Got it?”
So ended Sorcery 101 with Professor Laplace. Even Tanya, who had graduated at the top of her class at both the magic academy and adventuring school, had never even heard of some of the concepts Laplace presented. All in all, it was highly educational. This Great Sorceress really knew her stuff.
“Wait, so... you’re saying...” Tanya swallowed hard. “All the skimpy armor... and the sheer pantyhose...”
“Nothing more than sexy clothes.”
“Oh my god...” Tanya clutched at her hair. All the times I swallowed my pride and put on those stupid, form-over-function, pointlessly see-through outfits... All the times I practically froze to death, or got weird tan lines... You’re telling me it was all just a big waste of time?! Pardon my language, but this is BULLSHIT!
She could feel burning rage welling up inside her.
“A-Alright now, I understand where you’re comin’ from. But at the end of the day, this is all I got in stock! If you don’t like it, take your business elsewhere!”
“Now, now. No need to leap down my throat about it,” Laplace grinned. “Very well. Tanya can have the stripper armor. As for me, I’ll take... that white dress you’ve got there. It’s a decent length, and I quite like the needlework on the sleeves.”
“Excuse me? That dress is meant for master-level Healers!”
“Oh, don’t blow a gasket. Tell me, Tanya, what’s your favorite color?”
“Huh? Oh, umm... red, I guess?”
“Ooooh! Nice! Red, the color of blood... The color of revenge... Sounds perfect!” Laplace exclaimed in a singsong voice. “Très bien! Just leave it to me. I’ll remodel that teeny-weeny bikini into the ultimate armor—with a superb design and stat boosts to boot—or my name isn’t Laplace the Great Sorceress! Let’s do this!”
With a snap of her fingers, the pink bikini top transformed into a gallant breastplate, with only the Adventurers’ Association seal left intact. Fabric expanded before their eyes; Tanya’s heart fluttered with joy as a magnificent cloak gracefully descended down to her ankles.
As for the vestment Laplace had chosen for herself, the distinct needlework on the sleeves remained as the thigh-high slit magically sewed itself back up. Its white hue darkened to an inky black that matched her hair.
Tanya’s eyes sparkled. “Wow! Oh my god... this is so cool!”