I sprinted frantically, sweating buckets in the lingering heat of the afternoon sun. My tight skirt clung to my skin, making it hard to run, and it was tough to breathe properly with my hair constantly falling in my face. By the time I got breathless and slowed down, I’d reached the park where I’d often played as a child.
Lilac season was over, but I could still make out a few late-blooming plants. They gave off a natural sweetness different from our perfume. Each time I breathed the scent in, it took me back to my childhood.
The park flowers bloomed year-round. In spring, there was a carpet of dandelions. I used to search for four-leaf clovers while a crown of white flowers adorned my head. In summer, false acacia petals poured down like rain, and delicate lavender blossoms filled the flowerbeds. In fall, we snacked on ripe raspberries and yew berries.
In those days, our garden wasn’t a secret.
The jungle gym with a long slide was still there after all these years. Back in the day, Riku and I used to play there until the sun went down. I recalled a time I’d walked home hand in hand with Riku after he fell and skinned his knee, the setting sun casting long, willowy shadows behind us.
I’d tried to comfort him. “Don’t cry, Riku. Once we get home, I’ll bandage it up for you.”
“But my clothes are all muddy!”
The reason he’d fallen in the first place was that some older boys ganged up on him while we played tag.
“Why’d they tease me for wearing pink? I don’t get it. No one gives you a hard time about it, Ichika,” he moaned.
“Probably because you’re a boy.”
“Why’s that matter? Why can’t boys wear pink? Why can’t I wear skirts to preschool? Why can’t I be like you?”
I remembered feeling like his big sister as we walked home holding hands, the chime that signaled five o’clock ringing out around us. I ran through the park, trying to shake that melody from my mind.
I can’t go back. No—I don’t want to go back.
The days of walking home together as the sun set were long gone.
I still felt Riku on my lips; that kiss had unlocked the door of my heart. Now, I wanted him to touch me, hold me, know who I truly was.
Lilacs were said to be the flower of love. Their scent had surrounded me as, many years ago, I fell in love while playing in this park. I loved Riku so much—so much that it hurt.
“Ow!” someone yelped.
I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings as I ran, so I hadn’t noticed someone else walking by.
“I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed.
The force of our collision had made the girl drop her bag. As I bent to pick it up for her, our eyes met.
“Iguchi-san?”
Iguchi-san was in charge of clothing and makeup for our class café, so she’d also attended the meeting at the class representative’s house earlier today. I don’t remember her living nearby. I wonder what she’s doing here.
Iguchi-san also looked surprised. She rubbed the shoulder I’d run into as her pretty eyes gave me a once-over. “Why’re you so dressed up, Hasumi-san?”
Her question brought me crashing back to reality. I didn’t wear makeup to school, nor did I bother to straighten my hair, so she’d never had an opportunity to see me this dolled up.
“You look really different with makeup,” she remarked as she scrutinized my face. “It’s nice. Why not go to school like that?” Then, in the blink of an eye, her gaze moved behind me.
“Ichika!” Riku bellowed as he dashed straight in my direction. He was winded from running, so he couldn’t use his customary feminine tone. When I glanced over my shoulder, I saw he was still wearing the dress from earlier.
As I realized that Riku hadn’t yet noticed Iguchi-san, my blood ran cold. Oh, no. This is really bad, I thought. Before I could do anything, she’d already caught sight of him.
Riku stopped running, catching his breath with his hands on his knees. His disheveled wig concealed his face, but Iguchi-san’s gaze trailed to his feet. Riku didn’t have any women’s shoes, since he dressed up exclusively in the secret garden of my room. His only option for going outside was men’s sneakers. Noticing the dissonance between his shoes and outfit, Iguchi-san put two and two together just as Riku looked up.
“Tono-kun?” she inquired, although she already knew it was him. “What are you wearing?” Riku’s face went pale as a sheet. There was nothing I could do or say as Iguchi-san strutted over to get a better look. “Why’re you dressed like a girl?”
Riku’s mouth gaped open and closed like that of a goldfish out of water. I could tell the beads of water trickling down his skin weren’t from running; he’d broken into a cold sweat.
I had to do something to protect him.
“We were practicing!” I exclaimed. They both turned to look at me. “You know, for the school festival. I tried making Riku up, but it didn’t go very well, as you can see.”
Once the words began to pour out, I couldn’t stop them. I continued my explanation, trying to sound as casual as possible.
“Instead of just going all-in on the day of, I thought it might be a good call to see how he’ll look ahead of time. He was worried about what to wear, so I let him try some of my clothes on too.”
It was almost painful, but I stared straight into Iguchi-san’s eyes, forcing myself not to let a single shred of anxiety show. “I know you’re in charge of the costumes. Sorry about stepping on your toes. I’m happy to help if you need anything on the day of, though.”
“That’s…fine,” she replied a little hesitantly.
My plan had succeeded. Iguchi-san’s tense expression relaxed as she looked back and forth between Riku and me.
“I guess it’s impossible for boys to look good in the same makeup styles as girls,” she murmured. She tapped her mouth thoughtfully with a finger, looking Riku up and down. “I thought just a little makeup would be fine in Tono-kun’s case, at least. But seeing him now…” she trailed off.
As she continued her relentless appraisal, Riku appeared to smile, but I could tell it was just his lips reflexively twitching.
“I guess our usual clothes and makeup won’t be enough. You may have feminine features, Tono-kun, but you don’t look girlish right now. Women’s clothes don’t flatter male bodies. The more feminine men try to look, the less natural it seems. That’s probably why our senpai’s cross-dressing café flopped,” Iguchi-san muttered, nodding to herself. “Thanks, Hasumi-san. This has been a big help. I’ll make time for us to practice before the festival starts.”
“Good idea,” I replied. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“You two should probably head back home. Tono-kun looks like he’s being punished for losing a bet or something.”
Iguchi-san gave us a casual wave goodbye and walked away, leaving Riku and me standing there in stunned silence.