I got the feeling her words hadn’t quite caught up with her energy. She wanted to leave her mark? She wanted to prove that people suffered? No. She was going to leave her mark. She would prove that people suffered. That’s how it sounded to me anyway.
If I stood by and did nothing, she’d probably start something right away. I didn’t know her, but her aura was so grim, it spooked me.
Should I say something? Should I try to stop her?
I hesitated, and words floated into my mind—so I said them aloud.
“You could argue that the treatment we get from the teachers and top-ranked students is our own fault for getting bad grades.”
“Yeah, I guess you could.”
“And we are the ones who chose this school. Despite all that, you still want revenge?”
“Yes. I do,” Kurumi Hoshimiya said quietly. “No matter how bad someone’s grades are, it doesn’t justify abuse. If this school told prospective students they consider insults and discrimination teaching, no one would come here. It’s their fault.”
“All true, but…”
“And that aside, I want to get revenge. Isn’t that enough? You can take all your justifications, grind them up, and feed them to your dog.”
That certainly silenced me.
“I’m not interested in proper protests—in doing what’s right,” she continued. “I’ve got a personal vendetta and a warped sense of righteousness—and I’m gonna make ’em pay.” Her lips curled up into that familiar, mean-spirited smile. “And you don’t mean a word of that stuff. You hate this place just as much as I do.”
“…Fair.”
It was pointless. I couldn’t stop her.
Revenge, vendetta, warped righteousness. I couldn’t argue with any one of those ominous words. Besides, I’d already proved that doing what was “right” wasn’t going to get us anywhere.
“I want to change this school so that no one else winds up like me,” she said.
“……”
“And when I’m sure no one else will end up like you, either, then I’ll drop out.”
Kurumi Hoshimiya sure dreamed big. We were two small fish in a big pond, and anything we did would only come back to haunt us. People don’t change. The world doesn’t change… I knew all that. Or at least I’d convinced myself that I did.
And yet…for a moment, I put myself in her shoes.
Here I was, buried in homework, unable to improve my grades, being told I was the problem, my nerves gradually fraying under the stress and abuse. And on top of that, any attempt I made to change the situation only made everything worse. In the end, I wound up smoking just to relax.
If she could change things so that nobody else turned into a piece of garbage like me, wouldn’t that be better for everyone?
Before I knew it, I muttered, “That’d be nice… If you could change the school.”
I knew it was wishful thinking, but I said it anyway. I just couldn’t help admiring Kurumi Hoshimiya.
Maybe she really would change this place so that no one else ended up like me. Heck, maybe she’d even find a way to change me, too.
That’s right, I was starting to have expectations. But I was still a kid—still wet behind the ears. I wasn’t ready to take responsibility for what I’d just said.
“If you think so, then help me.”
So at her next words, all the blood drained from my face. I’d thought this was her deal; suddenly, it was mine, too. I felt a chill settle over my brain.
“…Huh?”
“Help me get payback.”
I looked up. Kurumi Hoshimiya was smiling, backlit by the setting sun.
“I was looking for an accomplice,” she said. “That’s why I came up here.”
“Um, er… Hang on, an accomplice?”
“Your story about lodging a proper complaint got me interested, and your bad mood in the cafeteria convinced me. You’ll do. Not only do you hate this school, you’re motivated enough to take independent action. Cool. Very cool. You’re exactly the kind of guy I’m looking for.”
“Hold up. What are you even talking about? Wait a minute!”
She was coming on strong, and I had to hold my hands out to push her back.
“Hmm.” She pursed her lips and began to think.
For a moment, neither of us moved; then she thumped a fist against her palm.
“Oh, right! Hang on a second, I’ve got something to show you.”
She reached both hands around the back of her head and threaded her fingers into her pitch-black hair. She fiddled around for a moment, working her hands.
“…What are you doing?” I asked.
“Heh-heh, you’ll find out soon.”
A moment later, something fell out of her hair. I heard the clang of metal on the ground. I looked down and saw a hairpin. Several more followed—long, thin clips, falling from her hair.
“Your last protest didn’t work, but don’t worry—this time I’ll lead the way.”
Each time a pin fell, Kurumi Hoshimiya’s indomitable grin grew broader.
“We’ll be fine. We can do this. Just follow your gut and say yes.”
As a final flourish, she ran both hands through the back of her hair.
The strands tumbled down, obeying gravity. She shook her head a few times to untangle them, and they formed waves as her hair resumed its natural shape.
Only then did I comprehend the meaning of this process.
“Your hair…”
A pale gleam shone from beneath her black bob.
The underlayer of her hair was ash gray. Kurumi Hoshimiya had dyed it, then used a bunch of hairpins at the back to keep the dyed portion hidden.
“Well? Surprised?”
When I saw her mean smirk, I knew exactly what all this meant.
I understood what she was doing. Our school had a very strict code of conduct—and dyed hair was not allowed.
This was just like my smoking—a symbol of her rebellion.
“I’ll say it again,” she said. “I want you on my side.”
Restored to her true form, Kurumi Hoshimiya looked down at where I was sitting and reached out her hand.
“Let’s become the resistance and transform this awful school.”
“The resistance…?”
It sounded so cringe. We were too old for this. Was she for real?
But I wasn’t that mature, either. And I found her idea extremely tantalizing. Her invitation was so convincing, so unreal, that it actually made me think we could change the world.
I swallowed hard.
Maybe we can.
Maybe we could shake up this sickening school with teachers who thought it was okay to shout at kids for their grades and hierarchies based solely on class placement. Maybe this would give me a way to vent all those frustrations and grievances that no amount of cigarette smoke could ever carry away.
Maybe I could even get revenge on that one teacher.
“C’mon. Let’s do this.”
Kurumi Hoshimiya thrust out her hand, urging me to take it.
Possibilities swirled in my mind. My pulse sped up. I began to see spots.
I reached out—only to pull back just before our fingers touched.
“…I can’t. If I had the courage to do that, I wouldn’t be skulking around up here with a cigarette.”
“Oh yeah? What a shame.”
She shrugged, letting the matter drop.
Perhaps she’d never really been serious. The thought disappointed me.
But it didn’t matter. I’d made the right choice.
Of course I had bitter feelings about this crappy school and its awful teachers. But this was my life, and I didn’t want to make any more mistakes.
The vengeance Kurumi Hoshimiya sought was obviously a mistake. It was bound to fail, and even if it succeeded, it wouldn’t make either of us happy. A big plot like that would only cause problems and lead to regrets.
Sure, this terrible school already had me making all sorts of bad decisions, and I hadn’t thought twice about breaking the law to smoke. But revenge was a much bigger transgression, and I didn’t have the guts for it. No matter how furious I was inside, the best I could manage was sneaking a cigarette.
I was just a small fish in a big pond.
“…Haah. How sad! What a pity!” Kurumi Hoshimiya said, sighing dramatically. “This sucks. I was really counting on your help.”
“Sorry. Your proposal was tempting, but it was a little unrealistic.”
“You think so? Well, that’s a real shame. I guess I have no choice. Can’t believe I’ll have to spread this photo around.”
“…Photo?
“Yeah, this one. Heh-heh. Good shot, right?”
She showed me her phone. There was a photo of me on the screen, with a cigarette dangling from my lips.
“Wh-when did you…?!”