Noah’s POV
Freya takes my hand and drags me out of the Deus’s family hallway.
She’s a priestess at the local building dedicated to the goddess. My city isn’t extremely religion, but we love and trust in the goddess and her representatives.
I don’t know how she knows these twists and turns, but I follow her faithfully, walking behind her and stumbling like a drunkard.
The smell of my home radiating off her is rich.
She smells like a field of flowers in spring. Her red hair sways with every step, and this thirty four years old woman makes me feel nostalgia.
My chest is heaving as I try to control my need to sob pathetically. Her hand around my wrist is gentle even though her movements are jerky.
"This way, I wouldn’t want anyone to see you with me" she says and I nod, pressing my lips together to keep my tears at bay.
"Come here" she says and we end up in a quiet room.
She shuts the door behind herself but doesn’t lock it.
There’s only one bed in the room with white sheets stretched over it. It’s clean and looks as if no one uses it.
"If anyone opens the door, finding it locked would implicate us" she explains why she didn’t lock it.
Her voice, soft and kind, breaks something in me.
"Freya" I choke out her name, sniffling with embarrassment and shame, and she smiles at me with that motherly expression.
Her pale blue eyes search my face with fondness as she holds my cheeks in her hands. This is how she used to hold my face since I was little.
She looks like the destruction of our city didn’t affect her one bit.
"I’m so glad you’re okay, I’ve been praying for you since the attack from those...those barbaric monsters" she says and I shake my head.
I’m okay, but I’m not. My body is okay, my mind is okay, but my reputation is not.
"What’s wrong, little prince?" she asks, catching my tears with her thumbs and wiping them off. Her eyes pay attention to both sides of my face, making sure my tears wouldn’t touch the ground.
A city’s representative must be strong.
"I’m a failure...you’re going to hate me, Freya" I cry and she frowns at my words.
"I practically raised you, Noah. How can I ever hate you?" she asks.
"You don’t understand, I...I..."
"Did you cut yourself again?" she asks, dropping her hands from my face and taking my wrists to look at them.
"N-no, I didn’t do that" I hiccup as the tears continue to flow down my cheeks.
"Very good, you know the goddess like it better when you’re unmarked...you make the city proud, Noah. You make Winslow proud, we’ll go back home and everyone will see that you’re the perfect omega" she says, laughing sweetly as she grips my face again.
Her words hurt, but they’re the mantras I’ve lived by...or tried to live by.
They want me to make Winslow proud, I want to do that too...but I also want to live like a human.
I want to go shopping and show off the new clothes in the style I like. I want to go drinking with my friends and be driven home by a sober friend while belt out incoherent lines from Arctic Monkeys’ "505". I want to stop hiding the movies I enjoy watching and the music I enjoy playing.
But I can’t do any of that...I was born to represent Winslow. Dad raised me to raise Winslow. There’s too many expectations on me.
"I’m no longer a virgin" I burst into tears and Freya jumps back from me like I announced having a contagious disease that is shared via skin contact.
"What?" she whispers.
"Freya" I whimper and she runs her fingers through her hair.
She suddenly looks stressed by me.
"Hold on, Noah...give me a second" she says, walking away from me and pacing the space in front of me.
"Freya" I call the name of the woman who has been by my side all my life. Praising me, teaching me, and helping me.
"Goddess" she says under her breath and I completely break down, falling to the floor and letting all the tears stream.
Freya seems to be lost in her head as she grips her hair.
"I’m going to be killed, I groomed you to be perfect...this wasn’t the plan" she says to herself. I don’t think I’m supposed to hear it, but I do, and I feel even worse.
Elias didn’t make me feel like this.
He didn’t make me hate myself.
The disgust was there, but something about him made me feel normal about myself. I didn’t feel like jumping off a cliff.
"I’m sorry" I cry out, my chest is caving in from the way everything is hitting me. My chest is aching nonstop and I’m hating how hard it is to breathe.
"Stop crying, Noah. Stop crying, dear" Freya stops pacing and squats in front of me.
Like always, she takes my face in her hand and makes me look up. She’s smiling at me, but it’s wobbly and weak, like she’s forcing it.
"We’ll figure it out, okay?" she says, lips shaking with her forced smile.
"Do you hate me? Will dad hate me?" I ask and she laughs gently, wiping my tears off with the sleeves of her shirt.
"Why would we? We’ll never hate you, you’re our perfect Noah" she says and her face turn cold.
"It’s that rapist, Elias Deus, we hate"
"He’s not a rapist"
"Don’t defend him...oh honey, he’s manipulating you"
"He’s not..." my voice breaks before I complete my words.
The alpha hasn’t held any conversation with me. And when he speaks to me, he doesn’t tell me anything but his truth. I know he’s not manipulating me.
"Freya, he’s not manipulating me..."
"Shhh, it’s okay Noah...I’ll sneak a phone here for you. I’ll get you out soon, okay? Your dad and I will save you" she says with that shaky smile.
"My dad?"
"Yes, I’ll get you out" she says solemnly and the door opens.
The door opens suddenly. We both turn our heads towards it and find Elias standing there with his hands in his pocket.
"What is going on here?" he asks in that quiet voice and Freya gets up automatically. She laughs awkwardly, putting on a kinder expression as she smiles at him warmly.
"Sir, I found him hurting..." she starts to explain.
"Hurting?" Elias’s eyes drop to me and I look at him.
"Th-the shoes are...uncomfortable" I think up the lie quickly and the alpha gets closer to me. My forced husband stands in front of me like the day he told me: I want this one, brother.
"You’re mine. Anything you feel should be told to me first. Get up" he says and I wipe at my face, pulling myself up immediately.
Elias continues to stare at Freya and I can feel the trouble brewing.
No.
"Don’t hurt her, she was only helping" I hold on to the end of his shirt and he continues to stare at Freya.
"Please..." I whisper helplessly.
Freya is my only way home...