Chapter 11

1 At the hideout, which had completely transformed into just a place to hang out… Chris suddenly spoke up while looking over the list of applicants for my thief gang. “I just don’t get it.” To the Thief who stared dumbfounded and motionless at the list, I said, “What are you on about all of a sudden? I do not get what is difficult to understand. That is the list of people wanting to join my crew.” “How are there so many?! Plus, how did you manage to get the best mansion in Axel as your hideout, and why does the list include the names of famous experts?!” Just what was wrong with this grunt? “What are you making such a fuss about? It’s a good thing for an organization to be big.” “It is, but— Wait, is it?! Hey, does Kazuma know about this?!” asked my underling with a confused look on her face. “I have told him I got new companions and a hideout, stuff like that.” “I—I see. So he still doesn’t really know everything… Huh? Am I the only one who thinks this is pretty important?” It seemed Chris was a worrywart—she was a grunt, after all. “Are you surprised at the scale of it? Well, this is what happens when I am in charge.” “Huuuuh…? Y-you’re pretty good, Megumin…” Chris looked at me with a mixture of surprise and awe. But then… “Don’t talk like you weren’t worried about it getting bigger than you expected,” Yunyun muttered quietly while expertly constructing a house of cards on the table. “Hey, if you do not want all your hard work this morning to be destroyed, you ought to watch your mouth.” “F-fine. I’m going to break my record with five decks of cards today, so cut it out.” At some point, Yunyun had gotten good at playing alone—what exactly was this girl’s goal? “By the way…,” Chris said somewhat awkwardly. “Who’s that person who keeps staring at me over there?” The Thief glanced at Cecily, who was peeking her head out from behind the sofa. Despite being a huge fan of girls, Cecily was strangely on her guard around Chris for some reason. “That’s Cecily, a priestess who’s made herself at home here… What’s wrong, Cecily? You’re always acting crazy, but you’re being especially strange today.” The clergywoman eyed Chris suspiciously while I asked her what was the matter. “I’m not really sure myself, but my pretty-little-girl sensors aren’t responding. This is the first time that’s happened, so I’m not sure what to do… Excuse me, might you be a boy pretending to be a little girl? Actually, I wouldn’t mind that, so something’s gotta be wrong.” “People sometimes mistake me for a boy when I wear shorts, but I’m as female as they come…” Chris seemed somewhat crestfallen, apparently having been mistaken for a boy before thanks to her short hair and rough garb. “Ahhh, Chris is a devout follower of Eris. Maybe that is why you two are not compatible.” Hearing the words “follower of Eris,” Cecily stood up from where she hid behind the sofa. “What?! I can’t allow a follower of Eris to intrude on my sanctuary of pretty little girls! …Aha, you’re here because you wanted to steal my life of lazing around with young cuties to dote on me every day? You think I’m gonna let you take away such a lovely position, you thieving cat?!” “‘Thieving cat’?! H-hold on a sec. There seems to be a weird misunderstanding—I was practically half forced to join…!” Cecily, seemingly allergic to Eris followers, lashed out at Chris… “Speaking of, Yunyun, is Illis not here today?” “When I went to the usual meeting spot, her maid gave me a message that she couldn’t come because of a ceremony or something… C-cut it out—don’t blow on the cards like that. Megumin, I’m about to go crazy wondering who that girl really is…” A royal event, huh? We’d finally gotten enough people, so I’d been thinking about conducting a raid soon, but oh well. “That sort of thing cannot be helped, I suppose. It sure would be a problem trying to drag her here if there is a ceremony to attend.” “Hey, Megumin, who is Illi—? Why are you averting your eyes? Why are you looking away, too, Chris?! Wait, don’t shake me; my tower’s gonna fall!” After I shook Yunyun by the shoulders to shut her up, I said, “And so now that we have a professional Thief, I would like to finally conduct a raid! It shall be on the first day Illis can participate! Until then, I shall research the raid target and formulate a plan… That is all!” I pounded the table with my fist to show how serious my declaration was… “Ahhhh, my tower! Waaaiiit!” …That night. Having finished supper back home, I approached Kazuma with something to ask. “The secret to managing problem children? What an odd thing to ask out of the blue.” I’d tried planning a raid, but the characters I’d recruited made for a thief gang full of easily distracted people. I wanted to learn the secret to managing troublesome companions from Kazuma, who had an established reputation for doing just that. I had asked him that very thing, but… “There’s no secret or anything. I’m not really even trying to manage anyone. Even monster tamers can’t give really specific orders to the monsters they keep. I’m just winging it, guiding all of you with vague instructions.” “‘Vague instructions,’ huh? You do a good job dealing with it all.” Though, now that he mentioned it, Kazuma didn’t exactly give such specific directions each time. “I mean, even if I gave you specific directions, none of you would listen. A top online gamer like me can wing it by judging the situation as it unfolds. In the guild I was in back in my home country, there were lots of problem children worse than all of you.” “‘Top’ meaning you were high on the leaderboards, right? So you had brothers-in-arms—you did say you attacked forts and hunted bosses together.” That was one of the many mysteries surrounding Kazuma. He’d said he’d hunted monsters and bosses with his comrades for days at a time, all through the night, making a decent-enough name for himself. “Yeah, I was considered one of the central guild members, you know. I was in charge of training newbs and scheduling fights against tough enemies. I think that helped prepare me to deal with people like you all.” Kazuma’s words were brimming with unerring confidence. He’d spoken about this before, and I was convinced he wasn’t lying. “I guess if I had to say there was any sort of trick to it, it’s trying to understand the other person, rather than trying to abandon them somewhere, no matter how difficult they are.” “Hey, Kazuma, why did you look at me when you said that?” I see—so it’s understanding the other person. “Thank you very much. I will try talking to the others tomorrow.” “No matter how useless they are, everyone has something they’re good at. If you find that, they might surprise you. Even if it’s someone who makes you wanna leave them in a faraway dungeon somewhere, you might see a side you didn’t expect if you watch them carefully.” “Hey, like I said, why do you look my way when you say that?” A side you didn’t expect. Speaking of, I still didn’t know them that well. “As an elite gamer to begin with, if I just think of it as a kind of handicap, something to tie me down, I don’t even get mad when others hold me back. Especially with how easy life is now anyway.” Darkness petted Chomusuke with a smile as she cozied up to the cat. Hearing Kazuma’s confident words, Darkness decided to answer. “Hey, Kazuma, I’m not sure you should say such lewd things around the others.” “The bondage I’m referring to isn’t the private fun time that you love. Don’t insult gamers.” Still, maybe this was no ordinary guy if he had been a central guild member at such a young age. As I began to see Kazuma in a new light, Aqua spoke up while feeding Emperor Zel on her lap. “You keep talking about us like nuisances, but surely you aren’t including me in that, right? You’re talking about these two, yeah?” “…What’re you flapping about? You’re the biggest problem child of all.” Darkness was busy enjoying Chomusuke nibbling on her fingertip but decided to chime in. “Hey, Kazuma, I don’t cause any problems, do I? I’m confident I’m the most sensible out of the three of us…” …Hey, wait a minute. “Where do you get that confidence from?” Kazuma replied. “To me you all just look like mildly intelligent goblins when you’re in battle.” “You wanna take this outside?” said Aqua. “You’ve got some nerve treating me, with my beauty and intelligence, like a goblin.” “Yeah,” Darkness said, “this guy’s gotten pretty full of himself recently. I can’t let you call young ladies something so foul just because you put that general of the Demon King into the ground.” The two of them flew into a rage, as short-tempered as any goblin. “Both of you are obviously problem children. I am the most levelheaded and calm among all of us, with my great intellect. Being cool, calm, and collected is the selling point of Arch-wizards, after all… However, that poses a bit of a problem. I’m planning a certain something with some pains-in-the-neck who are all so different from one another that I’m not sure it’ll work.” “‘C-cool, calm, and collected’ must be a joke. You’re like a defective firework that goes off on its own without even being lit,” Kazuma said. “Hey, Megumin, I’m pretty sure I’m more levelheaded than you are, in battle at least,” Aqua protested. “I don’t wanna hear that from you, Megumin! You’re the most impatient of all of us!” The three of them said something to me, but none of it reached my ears. I was busy pondering something else with my arms crossed. 2 “I have a question for you. What do you want to do more than anything right now?” “Marry you, Megumin.” As she performed a questionable dance by herself at the hideout early the next morning, Cecily replied with immediate confidence. “…Er, I am a girl, so marrying you would be…” Supposedly, that questionable dance had been a prayer to the goddess Aqua. Cecily had been softly muttering, “Lady Aqua, may today also be a good day,” while she moved. Then the priestess went on to say, “Unlike the hardheaded Eris Church, the Axis Church considers the walls of race and sex to be trivial, as long as there are no devil girls or undead involved, so there’s no problem.” There was quite a big one. “Um, I appreciate the sentiment, but I would like to become a bride myself. I am sorry.” “Oh well. Then I’ll do what I can to be a good husband.” “No, I want to be a bride for a man! D-do not act so depressed; it is not fair for you to act sad when you are always joking around!” Just as I was wondering what to do with Cecily as she looked at me like an abandoned puppy, she grinned. “I swear, you’re so cute, Megumin! Oh well, I heard from someone there’s a legendary treasure that makes even a sex change possible. I’ll do whatever it takes to get it for you.” “Even if you turn into a guy, it does not mean I will marry you, so please stop! Anyway, is there nothing else you want? You’re always so full of desire, I would think there’d be a ton of things you would desire to do,” I said, managing to push her away as she embraced me and stroked my cheek. “What are you talking about? I’m an Axis follower, you know?” “…? Of course I know! And?” I cocked my head. “As an Axis follower, if I have something I want to do, of course I just do it without hesitating. So that I may be unashamed before Lady Aqua, I live and do as I want every day. Like this.” She gave a little smirk as she clung to me. “What you do and say is ridiculous, but I admit I thought that way of life sounded kind of cool just now. You seemed every bit the true, freedom-loving Axis follower.” “Thanks! I think your volatile way of life is pretty cool, too!” I wish you wouldn’t call it “volatile.” Then, as Cecily stroked my head… “I’ll listen if you have any worries, you know? I’m the adviser, remember?” Per usual, she made an unexpected show of insight. Right, the problem I’d been worried about recently was… “I didn’t get a clear answer before, but you have someone you like, right, Megumin?” Wondering how I was going to make a raid succeed with this group of second-stringers, I said, “N-n-no, what are you saying?! I’m worried about how to do a raid with these members, not something like that!” My ears turned red at Cecily’s truly unnecessary insight. Smiling at me with such a tender expression, she somehow looked like a legit clergywoman. This person showed an unexpected side of herself sometimes—quite unfairly, I think. “You’ll hate me if I tease you any more, so I guess I’ll pretend to believe you! Right, first is the question of which noble to go after. Next is how to break in. Last is whether they’re really doing bad things and if it’ll cause a big incident if we do something dumb. In other words, the target should be a family that’s not obscure, has money, and is likely to be doing wicked deeds in secret.” I see—I don’t care for being teased, but that was an unusually useful opinion. “Though, actually, I’ve had my eye on a place since I first heard your plan.” “What’s going on, Cecily? You’re so dependable today.” Seriously, what had happened to this person? Like that true-blue pervert Zesta, sometimes Axis followers displayed some amazing abilities. Feeling hopeful, I waited to hear who she’d had her eye on… “Did you know the Dustiness family has a home in this town?” “……” As I was at a loss for words, for some reason, Cecily got even more excited. “The bigger the target is, the better. In that respect, the Dustiness family is more than qualified. Next is whether they have money, and that family is made up of big-shot nobles who contend for first or second place in this country. There’s no way they’re poor.” They weren’t exactly broke, but as far as nobles went, they weren’t superrich, either. “Best of all, their whole clan is supposedly made up of zealous Eris followers! As a family steeped in such wickedness, they must be up to something shady!” “Sorry, let us not go with them. Rather, please spare me the trouble.” I was humiliated to have listened to this priestess so earnestly. “If you say so, I guess that’s that… Well then, I have a second candidate I was thinking of. Why don’t we look into that for now?” 3 “The Belheim family? …Nah, I think they’d be too hard for beginners. I haven’t heard any bad rumors about them yet, and they also have tight security. I wouldn’t recommend hitting them.” I swung by the Adventurers Guild sometime in the afternoon and grabbed Chris, who was hanging around, bored. I asked her about the noble family Cecily had mentioned. “If you cannot recommend it to beginners, that kind of sounds like you are used to breaking into the homes of nobles.” “Pfft! Cough, cough…! Look, I’m a Thief-class adventurer, so even supposing I don’t actually break in anywhere, I can at least imagine what it’s like!” Chris said in a panic as she gloriously spewed the Crimson Beer that had been in her mouth. I see. Maybe that’s like Explosion spell–casters and their habit of searching out big, hard, fun-to-destroy things. The Thief wiped her mouth with a handkerchief. “I’ll go ahead and do some good research into the Belheim family, but a more small-time noble’s mansion would be better at first, you know? Families at the level where they’d be done for if their misdeeds got out often don’t make it public when they’re robbed.” “Just asking, but that is only a guess, right? You have not ever actually broken in anywhere, have you…?” “N-n-no? Come on, Megumin! I’d never cross such a dangerous line!” So she said, but her eyes were shifting about like someone bad at lying. She was restless, folding and then unfolding her handkerchief on the table suspiciously. “…You’re an Eris follower, right, Chris? Can you swear to Lady Eris that you’ve never done anything so dangerous as breaking into a noble’s mansion alone?” “Ummm… S-sure, I can swear that all day. I can, but… Not knowing how to respond like this is the strangest sensation…,” she said, swearing plainly. While I thought it odd of her, I was relieved. Chris seemed to be a devout Eris follower, so she couldn’t have been faking it. I’d worried she’d been reckless, but it seemed my fear was unfounded. “By the way, I have a question for you, Chris. What is the thing you want to do most—the wish you want more than anything?” “Me?! A wish I want to come true… Hey, Megumin, you don’t actually know the truth about me, right? I’m more of a wish granter than a wish grantee, but…” Once again, she’d said something strange. I’d thought this girl was the most levelheaded in my crew of bandits. Surprisingly, that seemed to maybe not be the case. “Actually, Kazuma told me if I want to be a good manager, I need to make sure I understand the others. I guess you could say I want to know more about you.” At that, the Thief gave me a long and curious stare. “Huh, that’s an awfully grown-up thing for Kazuma to say. Anyway, a wish I want to come true or something I want to do? Hmm, I’m already doing what I want, so I guess there’s nothing at the moment.” “You are doing what you want? That is exactly what Cecily said. Perhaps Axis and Eris followers aren’t that different?” “Wait, give me another chance! I’ll give it a good think before I answer!” Chris furrowed her brow and started groaning, apparently unhappy to be seen as the same as someone from the Axis Church. After considering for a moment, Chris bashfully said, “…I want to go shopping with female friends and buy lots of clothes. Trying some delicious parfaits at a trendy shop would be nice, too… I guess mundane stuff like that is what I’d like.” Despite her tough appearance, she said something pretty girlie. “Unlike that forever-alone Yunyun or Illis with her social standing, you could actually accomplish that. All I can imagine a well-informed bandit girl who lives as an adventurer doing is living it up, having tons of experiences.” “O-ouch! I’ve never even been on a date!” When I’d first met Chris, I’d thought she was a bold Thief to challenge Kazuma so suddenly, but maybe she had a surprisingly pure side. I see. Kazuma was exactly right. I’d been able to see sides of both Cecily and Chris that I hadn’t before. Hmm, a date? I felt like I hadn’t experienced a proper one-on-one date, either. …… “Speaking of, it just occurred to me, but I have something else I want to ask.” “What’s that? I’ve known Darkness a long time, and, well, plenty has happened with Aqua and me. Kazuma and I have a secret-sharing relationship, too, but you’re the one person in your party I’ve not had many dealings with. Sure, ask away,” she said cheerfully, swirling her mug around. “What is your relationship with Kazuma?” “…Friend, I guess.” I leaned in toward Chris, who refused to meet my gaze. “For friends, I feel like you’ve been quite chummy with him recently. You said you haven’t had many dealings with me, but I don’t think you’ve had many with Kazuma, either.” “W-well, we’ve had plenty, like, you know, teaching my Thief skills to him! But he’s really just a friend! Seriously, I don’t have any special feelings for that guy, okay?” Her desperate explanation was suspicious, and I was really curious about their secret-sharing relationship. “I pretty much used to be Kazuma’s only female acquaintance, but it strikes me that he recently started getting strangely popular. It would be well enough if you had been together a long time, but I will not let some unknown yokel snatch him away.” Chris, who’d been listening quietly, blushed just a bit and looked at me teasingly, as if in payback for everything up till now. “Huh. Speaking of, Megumin, I heard you’re getting along pretty well with Kazuma recently. Tell me, tell me, do you like him? I wanna hear how serious you are.” “I like Kazuma. As far as how serious I am…deadly.” Hearing that, Chris blushed even more and flinched. “At first, I just thought he was a quirky oddball, but that changed over time. I realized he is a good, caring person. Then my feelings changed again, and he became someone I could feel at ease with. I guess you could say by the time I realized it, I liked him. At this point, I think of him about as much as I think of Explosion in any given day.” “I—I—I—I see! You’re oddly manly, Megumin. I thought you’d be like, I guess, more unsure or embarrassed. You came at me so directly, I’m not sure how to react…” Suddenly, it seemed like there was respect in Chris’s eyes. “And so I would like to squash any potential threats before it is too late. You really are just friends with Kazuma, right?” “Just friends, honest! Don’t make your eyes glow so red! Um, well then, I’ll go look into the Belheims!” At that, Chris flew out of the Guild in a panic, terrified of some unknown threat. I left the Adventurers Guild behind as well and set off for my next destination. Surely, Yunyun must have brought that girl over by now. 4 “Th-this is so cute! Look, that one over there, too!” “Yes, I’ve never been in a store like this; everything looks so interesting… By the way, Yunyun, don’t we need to go to the hideout?” At a main street accessory shop that was popular with girls, two people I knew well were loafing around inside. “Don’t worry. By now everyone’s lazing about eating snacks. Megumin’s getting mad at Cecily’s sexual harassment while Chris says Oh well with a wry smile… That kind of sounds fun in its own way…” “Well, why don’t we get going, too? Shopping is fun, but I bet the boss would scold us if she knew what we were doing.” At Iris’s comment, Yunyun twitched ever so slightly. “T-true. Not that Megumin’s scary or anything, but staying too long and making them wait would be, you know. Well, then…” “Hey, that is quite the thing to say while you drag a younger girl around and seize the chance to fulfill your secret wishes.” Yunyun shuddered, startled at my words from behind. She nervously turned around to face me… “…I swear. No matter how lacking you are in friends, what are you thinking making Illis go along with you? She does not know any better, Yunyun. When I set the meeting time and trusted you to follow it, I did so because it saved on using Explosion, and this is what I get on the first day?” “…Sorry.” En route to the hideout. Yunyun, red to the tips of her ears, followed along with her face buried in her hands. “I’m sure you’ve always wanted to go shopping with a girl your age, but why did I even send you to go meet Illis in the first place? If you want to go to the store that badly, I’ll go with you next time, so please try not to do such dumb things.” Hearing that, Yunyun’s expression changed to one of both surprise and hope. “R-really? You’ll really go with me? My list of stores I want to visit when I get a friend someday is almost enough for three notebooks already…” “That is too many! At least narrow it down to only a few! Anyway, I have something I want to ask you two.” I tossed them the same question I had asked the other members of my crew. “What I want to do? Um, why are you asking that all of a sudden, Megumin? I can tell you, but there probably isn’t enough time in a day to list all the things I wanna do…” “Like I said, too many! Surely you have something you really hope for, a wish you want to come true more than anything!” At that, Yunyun’s eyes flickered up to me, away, then back again. “In that case, I guess I finally want a showdown with you, Megumin,” she said in a low, timid voice. “We’ve already had our fateful duel. In level, reputation, and as women.” “Wait a minute, you. Setting aside level and how many of the Demon King’s generals we’ve defeated, I’m not convinced about the ‘as women’ part!” Eyes glowing red, Yunyun crossed her arms and stuck out her chest, as if to show it off. …Why, you little— “I am not talking about bodily development. When you cannot even snag a guy with such a hot body for your age, trying to vie with me is rather cheeky.” “Don’t think you’ve won just because you’re getting along okay with Kazuma! I could if I wanted to…! I-if I wanted to…” As Yunyun’s voice got lower and lower, I stuck out my own chest triumphantly. “Look, you don’t have a single male friend, right? Ahhh, was that blond punk the other day your friend? He is perfect for you, is he not? I hope you are happy together!” “I won’t let that slide even as a joke; that’s the one man I could never be with! Fine, I’ll show when you’ve crossed the line! I’m going to settle this here and now!” Yunyun, eyes emitting red light, drew her wand from her waist. “Wh-what, you want to do this? Fine, bring it on! Actually, I was secretly annoyed back when you pressured Kazuma to have babies with you! I’ll show you here and now that you can’t go seducing someone’s man!” “S-stop it! That was an accident that came of assumptions and misunderstandings, so forget about it already!” I internally recorded another victory as Yunyun lowered her wand and yelled in embarrassment. “How many people have made advances on Kazuma?!” Iris asked. “He stripped off Chris’s underwear in public, and I hear he did something indecent to Lalatina. Now b-baby-making with Yunyun…?!” “Stop iiit! That’s not true; I don’t have any such feelings for Kazuma! A-a-anyway, I wanna hear about your wish, Illis! Look, Megumin does, too, right?!” Iris blushed as Yunyun desperately tried to change the topic. “I—I, well…” …These people. “I—I want to…with Kazuma…!” “I will not let you say any more! What is it with you people? Are all of you lovesick? Is that normal for girls of this generation?!” 5 A most unusual spectacle greeted my eyes when I returned to the hideout with the two girls suffering from heartache. “For an Eris follower, you have quite an eye. That’s right; Lady Aqua is sublime. And she is very lovely.” “Yeah, well, I don’t think she’s a bad person. Sure.” Cecily was giving some kind of sermon to Chris, who sat holding her knees on the carpet. Evidently, the priestess was explaining about Aqua’s virtues. “Welcome back, Megumin. I was just trying to convert Chris to be an Axis follower.” “Huh?! Wait a minute! I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna convert!” Although she’d been listening to the speech, Chris seemed surprised to hear something so unexpected. “What are you talking about? Then let me ask: What do you think about devils and the undead?” “Obviously, I think they should go to Hell.” Cecily smiled broadly at Chris’s confident, immediate answer. “That’s wonderful! Chris, you do have what it takes to be an Axis follower after all! Yes, just as Lady Aqua decreed: We shall kill devils, strike down the Demon King, and return the undead to the dirt! So? How about it? Why don’t you join the Axis Church, too…?!” “The Eris Church does also teach that devils and the undead are to be abhorred, you know?! I never thought the day would come when I would be invited to join the Axis Church. Why do I keep falling into such weird situations recently?!” I had thought that, being Axis and Eris followers, they’d get into a fight, but luckily, the two of them seemed to be on surprisingly good terms. Beckoning for the two followers of opposing faiths to come over, I proceeded to discuss my plans with everyone. I was standing in front of a table, so I thrust both hands onto it and clambered on top. “Well then, everyone, thank you for coming. Our thief gang has acquired a hideout, earned supporters, and procured a regular source of income. As for personnel, we are currently swamped with applicants. This is certainly a most delightful situation.” “Yeah. We’re getting together more often, too, so we’re very much on track,” Yunyun said, nodding at my words. “Yes, right now things are going smoothly. With everything taking shape, I have decided we should finally get to work for real.” At that, Iris cocked her head. “‘Work’? What exactly are we doing today? The other day, we went to the mountain to pick leaves, and before that we went to the river to fish, but I didn’t have any box lunches made today. If we’re to go out, how about tomorrow?” “Who said we are going to hang out?! Now, admittedly, it was feeling like I don’t know what kind of group this is anymore, but please do not lose sight of our original goal. Think back. Why did we get together in the first place?” At my words, each of them opened their mouths one after another. “I thought it was to make friends…” “I thought it was to go on adventures…” “I was enticed because I wanted cute, pretty little girls to surround and fawn over me.” “Huh?! This is a bit different from what I heard!” I pounded the table with a wham-wham. They’d all completely forgotten our real reason for forming this crew. “No! I tended to get off track here and there, too, but our original goal was to support the Silver-Haired Thief Brigade’s actions and to try to assist them! Raids! We must raid crooked nobles and make them know our name! And so, Chris, please tell us the results of your investigation!” “They’re clean. They don’t seem to be doing anything particularly bad, so I don’t think we should make them the target. Or, rather, why did you decide on them in the first place?” At Chris’s report, Cecily said glumly, “When I went to them begging for donations to the Axis Church, they told me, ‘We have our own religion.’ They said, ‘We don’t want anything to do with shady groups like the Eris or Axis Church.’” At that, Chris suddenly flew into a rage. “We need to hit them! Heathens calling us shady need to be taught a lesson!” “Let’s do it; let’s do it! You get it, Chris. I knew you were a true Axis devotee underneath that Eris guise! How about it, Megumin?” Though they got excited, I said, “It’s not okay at all. We must not raid them if they are not doing anything wrong—let us choose another family. Lady Aqua and Lady Eris would not forgive it.” “She would forgive it; Lady Eris would sooo forgive it!” “I’m sure Lady Aqua would overlook it, too! In fact, you’d most definitely hear a divine voice that bids you, Raid away!” What am I going to do with these two weirdos? Chris really shocked me. I had thought she was more levelheaded than that. I really felt the importance of actually getting to know your companions, as Kazuma had said. “Oh, I think I understand now. So we’re going to stand up for justice at last! Then let’s do this: There’s actually something called a ‘list of nobles’ whom the royal family has their eyes on. Let’s go ahead and raid the mansion of a noble on that list, and if nothing turns up, then we’ll have my father apologize…” “You must stay a good girl! You cannot bring your father into this!” As I was calling out Iris for offering an even more extreme suggestion, Yunyun gave a few tugs on my cape. “Can’t we just be happy we have a group that meets up for fun every day? Look, like these snacks Illis’s maid made for us. They’re delicious; you try some, too, Megumin… Wai— Aaaahhh!” I tossed all the snacks Yunyun offered me into my mouth, and when I finished devouring them… “Oh well, no matter how much we want to raid, we cannot do anything without a target. Let us watch and wait for a while.” After all, I’d resolved not to cause a ruckus by myself as I usually did. This time, I had to be responsible because I was the boss. “Who said you could eat my portion, tooooo?!” I was deep in contemplation as Yunyun shook me back and forth. 6 “…I’m home!” “Welcome home. You look a bit tired.” In the end, time flew by and we never came to an actual decision. Chris had offered to find another noble who it’d be okay to steal from, so we’d packed it in for the day, but… “Ah, I was just thinking how hard it is to understand and manage people. Between one woman teasing me, someone I thought was levelheaded being surprisingly over-the-top, getting into fights with a self-proclaimed rival, and realizing that a little girl is still after you, I am pretty worn out.” Usually, I was the one unleashing mayhem, so I hadn’t thought it would be this tiring being the one trying to stop it. “I’m not sure what all that’s about, but it seems tough. Hopefully it helps you realize what I have to go through.” Tossing myself onto the sofa next to where Kazuma was relaxing, I gazed up at him. “Oh, what’s this? Staring at me like the girl adventurers in the Guild do these days? Have you finally noticed how charming I am?” He spoke with sarcastically furrowed brow and flared nostrils, like he was trying to look cool. Maybe I wasn’t one to talk, but why was Iris attracted to this guy? “You sure have been popular with the girls at the Adventurers Guild recently. They were calling you Easy-ma, since they only had to butter you up a little to get you to buy them drinks.” “Remember their faces. I’ll use Steal on them next time we meet.” Gnashing his teeth, Kazuma had no problem making creepy remarks about other women, even with me right next to him. Why was I into this guy? I recalled the exchange I’d had with my grunts earlier that day. Though I’d said Iris and Yunyun were lovesick, if I could somehow forgive this fickle boy, could it be that I was the one who was blinded by love? Kazuma was habitually lazy, bad-mouthed others despite being a wimp, and bragged about his accomplishments at the Adventurers Guild without a shred of humility. He had average looks, and personality-wise, he was a coward who was neither fantastically good nor bad. “…Hey, really now, what’s going on? I can’t help getting a bit embarrassed when you’re staring at me so hard. What? Do you like me?” Also, despite being a total perv, he got flustered when I looked at him like this. And just by showing a little interest… “I do. I myself was seriously wondering why I like you so much.” “Huh?!” You see, this was how he acted. “H-how many times have I told you not to say such things so flippantly and out of the blue like that? I gotta be prepared first. From now on, give me advance notice with a letter or something. I need a month, a day, and what time you’re planning on saying something like that.” “What kind of mood-killing confession would that be? I just always say what I want to. It is like you told me yesterday, right? That I should try to understand others? I was trying to understand you just now, Kazuma.” He fidgeted as I said that while looking straight into his eyes. I couldn’t help smiling as I watched him. “You’re able to give me good directions because you understand me, right? Do you know what I’m thinking right now? Do you know what I want to do with you, alone, together like this?” “…Se—” Hey.