Leon the Demon Lord did not have a panic attack upon seeing Baze’s human form and only did one long exhale. Perhaps Tiamat understood the meaning of that action, but I was far from doing so. I couldn’t dig in with a bunch of questions either.
“When she’s ready, she’ll tell us on her own.”
I could only decide to trust my fiancée’s words.
There were no incidents at the town we stayed the night in, either, other than rumors going around about us. Rumors about the Hermit that defeated the monster army out of Mostail with the hero of the city, Earl Agamemnon; about the wise holy man, with the Dragon Princess and Star Breaker in tow, traveling the world to bring it peace and prosperity; about the saint who never accepts any reward other than the smiles of the people he saves.
So... who was this sketchy guy that sounded like some cult leader? Even in bars, the bards were singing about us to showcase their talent. If there was a hole, I would have buried myself in it.
“That expression originated in the ancient text of Jia Yi, by the way, meant to be used when you are ashamed of your own lack of knowledge. Not when you are embarrassed.”
“Damn it. If there was a hole I would bury myself in it!”
“During the bubble economy in Japan, it was used for a much different meaning, since it was trendy to have as many sexual partners as possible.”
“That usage is so derailed.”
Trivia DLC in full force. That knowledge was seriously useless.
“What hole?” Leon crooked her neck.
See! Look who responded! A highschooler!
“I-I-I-I-I think you’ll understand when you’re older. I think. Probably.”
I tried to mend the situation, albeit a little rattled, while Tiamat was over there enjoying her ale like she did nothing wrong. Damn it.
“Weirdo.”
The girl laughed, ever so slightly I thought. Was that a good sign? More importantly, I was being called a weirdo way too often. I wasn’t weird. I was the straight man of the group, if anything. I looked at Tiamat for some assistance.
“Another one.”
“Oh, another ale for me too, please.”
Since I was met with a spectacular brush-off, I ordered a drink too. We were munching on soybeans and some stewed meat. They were only seasoned with salt, but the flavor of the meat pulled through. They went pretty great with ale. We were no longer in season for edamame, but they seemed to be cooking the soybeans themselves.
“It’s good, right? These were taught to us by the Hermit, too.”
The woman who appeared to be the manager of the joint informed us of this blatant lie as she brought us ale. I never came with dishes like these, so it must have been Mister Murdock’s doing. His troupe was way ahead of us, and it seemed that they advertised soybean dishes everywhere they went.
It was great PR to claim that the dishes originated from Hermits, and they had actually traveled with those Hermits themselves. What’s more, the ingredients were practically free. Given the prowess of that old storyteller, I expected them to make bank if they sold the dishes for dirt cheap. They were business-savvy, alright. I let out a chuckle as I imagined the scene unfolding.
The capital of Noura, Nourn, was about the same size as Lishua of Azul with a population of around thirty to forty thousand. Once we arrived at the city without a hitch, we first decided on the inn to become our base of operation. I mean, there was no way we would have an audience with the king just by walking up to the castle. We’d be right back on the streets in a minute. We couldn’t even reach the conversation stage without a plan to have an audience with him.
We did have a good connection though, by the name of Earl Agamemnon. While earldom was not one of the highest ranks in this country, he was trusted with a major port. I imagined he had considerable influence in court, and we had his heir with us: Ruey. We would get an appointment through him.
That was our first step, but this wasn’t something we could immediately expect the results of. A letter, accompanied by a bribe, would change hands a few times before reaching the king. This process alone would take days. Then the king would arrange his schedule and send us a messenger with the date of our meeting. By a rough estimate, I expected this process to take ten to twelve days.
“Mm. It would still be a major event just to have an audience with him,” Tiamat said.
“Yeah. It’s the same thing as requesting to see our emperor.”
By handing a solitary letter to one of the imperial palace guards. In Japan, there’s no way that could fly.
One reason that we could pull it off in this world was our title as Hermits. Just as it did in the kingdom of Azur, it carried a special weight such that even a king could not ignore a request from us. Another reason was, as I’ve mentioned, our connection. The recommendation of Ruey Agamemnon, a member of noble society, would become a competent weapon for us. And finally, a handsome reward. A trifold strategy that would make Oda Nobunaga blush!
“What does this have to do with the battle of Nagashino?”
Leon gave me an icy stare.
Stop it, little girl. If you look at me like... I’ll fall for you.
“Mm. I can’t give you an icy look, so I’ll give you a hot breath.”
“Don’t! You’ll kill me!”
Tiamat and I were goofing around.
“Weirdo.”
Leon seemed exasperated. This was going to be my playstyle for a while. Adults were nothing she had to fear. She was at a good place when she found us a little annoying, even. I had suggested to Tiamat that we up our lovey-dovey-ness until Leon grew exasperated, after noticing a very slight sense of relief in Leon every time she called me a weirdo. My guess was that she feared any non-weirdo adult. Tiamat didn’t oppose.
“It can’t hurt her,” she’d said, and agreed to play along.
Tiamat and I had been putting our love on display ever since, no matter who was watching.
“So that’s what you call a comedy routine in Hokkaido? I didn’t know,” said Leon.
“Apologize to all 5.3 million of its residents!”
“You will?”
“Sorry.”
Perhaps aided by my plan, it felt like Leon was slowly opening up to us. However, Tiamat had said that this was the most perilous stage, too. Leon had been abused for several years, at least. It would have been a little overconfident of us to imagine that we could thaw her frozen heart after a few days of knowing her.
“But it is really boring just waiting for a royal messenger.” Tiamat, in human form, stretched her arms.
Boring? We had just arrived at Nourn the same day. Did she think life was a sprint? Let’s take it slow. I, for one, wanted to laze around for a few days in the inn!
“While we’re here, do you want to do a gig?”
“I don’t see the connection.”
All work and no play makes Eiji a dull boy.
“We’re adventurers, but haven’t done any adventure-y things. We are in a fantasy world after all. This isn’t right.”
Um... We did go hunt gagds, dug up beets, traveled with a band of performers, got caught up in a battle against the monster army, walked right into the Demon Lord’s lair, and now we were about to negotiate with the Demon Lord and the king to find a peaceful resolution.
“No, no. Don’t you think our journey has been rather eventful so far?”
“I want to dungeon-crawl.”
Now, we hadn’t done anything like that. No underground dungeons or treasure hunting adventurers. Everything we’d done so far had been all about day-to-day life.
“Don’t you want to catch a monster and cook it?”
“That’s definitely from a particular manga.”
“I want to eat a Red Dragon.”
“Isn’t that cannibalism?”
Tiamat was a dragon. Why did she want to eat a dragon?
“I hate to break it to you, Sir Eiji, Lady Tiamat. There are no dungeons around Nourn,” Ruey informed us with a half-chuckle.
“How lame.”
“If there was a dungeon, you really wanted to go, Tia?”
My fiancée was always a wild one. We were about to see the king, and she wanted to dungeon-crawl.
“Weirdo.”
Wait, Leon. I’m not the weirdo here. Tiamat is.