“You’re on the right track,” I encouraged. “You can fix things tonight, so long as you have a little confidence in yourself. It’s okay to go slow, but you have to keep taking steps forward until you can tell your loved ones how you feel. As an adult, I’d be happy to practice with you as much as you like.”
Tears spilled from his blue eyes. The moonlight pooled inside them, causing his gaze to glow. After taking a moment to cry in silence, he finally gave me a bashful smile.
“I told you not to treat me like a child…”
Then he wiped his tears, stood up, and followed the same stepping stones to approach me. Once we were one stone apart, Prince Rutherford raised his hands slightly, then squeezed his fists and lowered them again, as if giving up on something. I stared up at the tall boy, noting how Siraiya was even taller than him.
“…I’m sorry I called you out here so late. You’re a lady, after all. You should go back to your room. Actually, let me walk you—”
“It’s all right. I’m perfectly safe here in the inn, with so many guards around.”
“…Right. Okay, then I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Your Highness.”
I couldn’t work out Prince Rutherford’s intentions in the end, but so long as his love for Prince Adelberd was genuine, I felt confident that he wouldn’t try anything malicious.
I watched the prince leave, then returned to the engawa.
“Cynthia.”
A familiar voice suddenly called my name. I turned, already smiling. Siraiya emerged onto the moonlit deck from the pitch-black hallway behind me.
“You’re still awake, Siraiya?”
“…I know it’s wrong to eavesdrop… but I was listening to you. …I was worried.”
“I appreciate your concern. Surprisingly, His Highness seems to be a very nice boy.” I leaned against Siraiya and took his hands in mine. Seeing the person you loved when you least expected it was even more delightful than usual.
“…Can I pick you up, Cynthia?”
“Pick me up? Of course…”
Siraiya easily scooped me off the ground and carried me down the hallway in his arms like a princess.
“Heheh! What’s this about? Not to say that I’m not enjoying it.”
“You are…? Then I ought to do this more often.”
“I’d love that.”
I wish I could carry Siraiya too, but I doubt I’m capable.
We reached my room in almost no time at all.
“Can you open the door, Cynthia?”
“Of course.”
Since he didn’t seem ready to put me down, I opened the door for Siraiya as requested. I slid my slippers off once we were inside. Siraiya took me back to my futon and lowered me onto it.
My room was one floor above the engawa, and the same beams of moonlight illuminated it as the courtyard.
“Thank you for carrying me here, Siraiya. That was really fun,” I said with a bright smile.
“You’re welcome. …There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to please you.” Despite his gentle words, Siraiya had a sad expression. “I’ve…been blind, haven’t I? I really thought I had nothing to worry about once you began to shower me with affection.”
“Siraiya? What’s the matter?”
“I realized that I haven’t put in any effort to deserve your love all this time.”
“Effort? There’s no need for that. I love you exactly how you are, Siraiya.”
“Thank you. I’ve never doubted your love. Even as unstable as I am, your love has been profound enough to put my fears at ease.”
Then why are you saying these things in the first place?
Siraiya looked at me so longingly that my heart ached with pity. I reached out to his cheek, touching it gently and stroking his face, making sure not to hurt his skin. Then he placed his hand on top of mine.
“I know you have a soft spot for men in pitiful situations, and you told me you think boys who cry a lot are cute. When I saw you talking to His Highness…I felt jealous.”
“J-Jealous?”
I could hardly believe my ears. I didn’t see Prince Rutherford as anything more than a very tall child and never suspected that Siraiya would be jealous.
“I see. I’m sorry I upset you, but we were only discussing Prince Adelberd. Neither of us has any romantic feelings for the other,” I assured him.
“Yes… I believe you. But that might not be enough to stop my jealousy…”
“And that’s why you’re so eager for His Highness to get engaged?” I guessed.
“…Exactly.”
Siraiya smiled shyly. He was so adorable sometimes. I knew there was no chance of me ever meeting a man this charming again for the rest of my life.
“I appreciate your jealousy,” I said. “It’s proof of how deeply you care for me. I could never fall in love again now that I’ve met such a wonderful man, so please don’t be troubled by such ideas.”
“Thank you, Cynthia… But still, I can’t get complacent because of that alone. So…” He gently lowered my hand from his cheek, his silver hair sparkling in the moonlight. From Siraiya’s beautiful face came a declaration of his intent. “Allow me to put in more effort tonight. I’ll sleep in the same room with you if that’s your wish… And if you really want…I’ll even…kiss you.”
But immediately, he grew embarrassed. Siraiya was so cute when he blushed. I took his hand in mine and stared into his timid eyes.
“…Very well. Then let’s kiss. Close your eyes, Siraiya.”
“…All right.”
His eyelashes trembled as he shut his eyes. Siraiya was still the same beautiful, pure-hearted man I fell in love with.
I pressed a gentle kiss against Siraiya’s fingers.
“…Cynthia.” He opened his eyes and looked at me, surprised.
“I understand why you’re too embarrassed to sleep in the same room as me or to share a kiss before our wedding. It comes from a place of deep respect and love for me, doesn’t it? Thank you for cherishing me as much as you do, Siraiya. I want to cherish you as much as…no, even more than you do me.”
I wrapped my arms around Siraiya’s large frame. I only wished they were long enough to fully envelop him with my embrace.
“So let’s save our first kiss for our wedding, all right? It will be an important step for us.”
He answered by squeezing me tighter. Our body temperatures rose to the same, shared heat.
“I love you, Cynthia.”
“I love you too, Siraiya.”
But I still had something more to say.
“However…once we’re married, I’m going to express my love for you through my actions, regardless of how embarrassed you feel. So prepare yourself, all right?”
“Urk… I-I’ll be ready.”
I couldn’t see Siraiya’s face in this position, but I just knew he’d turned red all the way up to the tips of his ears. A smile crept across my face as I pictured how adorable he must’ve looked.
I could hardly wait for us to be married.