The residential community.
"Peel a! Coconut skin~ but you f—ing give a pear~"
In a joyful mood, Lin Li hummed a misheard rendition of Sugar as he unlocked his apartment door.
Now that he had finally returned to his own private little world, Lin Li couldn't resist reverting to a primitive state.
Much like David Tao singing at home, he began running around his makeshift stage and howling like a wild animal. The gibbons on the riverbanks wail without ceasing.
The language of popcorn is quick, hot happiness.
After burning off a bit of his accumulated excitement, Lin Li pulled out his phone.
「Lin Li: I made it home safely.」
「Chen Yuying: 『Bear waving gif』 Great」
「Ding Sihan: You actually made it safely? What a pity.」
「Qu Wanqiu: +1, I really wanted to see Ying-bao become a young widow.」
The target attacks were as relentless as always.
「Lin Li: Heh heh, it's impossible for anything to happen to me. You have to understand that I possess the ultimate safety secret—just follow the mushrooms, because a smart fungus never stands beneath a collapsing wall.」
「Ding Sihan: Dumbass」
「Qu Wanqiu: Dumbass」
These two metaphorical daughters of his really lacked a trace of human empathy.
「Chen Yuying: 『Transferred 4,702.55 yuan』」
At that moment, a direct message from Chen Yuying popped up.
Lin Li: OVO.
What an obedient babe. She said she would transfer the money, and she really did. He told her to transfer one dime less, and she truly docked exactly one dime.
However, Lin Li still decided to strike back with his typical animalistic demeanor—
「Lin Li: Monitor, can you add a memo saying "Voluntary Gift"? Otherwise, I don't dare accept it.」
「Chen Yuying: 『Transferred 4,702.55 yuan』『Memo: Voluntary Gift』」
Not even a few seconds after his message went out, a brand-new transfer slip popped up.
She was way too obedient!
「Lin Li: The one above is still there, though.」
「Chen Yuying: You can't edit a memo once it's sent. I didn't set a delayed arrival, and I can't recall it either.」
「Lin Li: Then what happens if I accept both?」
「Chen Yuying: I'll be very happy.」
Holy crap! Who the hell put a science fiction novel into my WeChat chat list?!
I didn't dare read a single page!
If he were to screenshot this segment of their chat log and spread it around, Liu Cixin's crown wouldn't be safe. The realm of science fiction would welcome its new sovereign!
You think you're the only one who can write sci-fi? Bro, this right here is real sci-fi!
How could a girl like this possibly exist in the world?
Huh? She really existed, and she happened to be his. Oh, okay, then never mind. Heck yeah.
Lin Li screenshotted it and sent it to Bai Bufan.
「Lin Li: Bufan, this sci-fi novel is pretty good. Highly recommended reading material.」
Whenever he thought about the fact that no one in the world knew he had such a girlfriend, Lin Li's entire body felt uncomfortable.
Sometimes Lin Li even felt that it would be great if his life were a NovelPhoenix or The Truman Show. Every single minute and second would be a live broadcast, allowing the audience to drown in envy.
Uh... actually, forget it. He handled his "handiwork" pretty frequently; who knew if some readers or viewers would be staring at that particular segment.
After waiting for a little while, Lin Li grew a bit puzzled.
Why hadn't Bai Bufan attacked him yet?
Bai Bufan hadn't sent any messages in "One Person and Three Dogs"—the group chat whose name had already been changed back—and he wasn't replying to direct messages either.
「Lin Li: Wang Ze, this sci-fi novel is pretty good. Highly recommended reading material.」
Wang Ze didn't reply either.
What were these two bastards doing right now? Had they already started gaming?
They really didn't care about their brother at all.
「Lin Li: Humph, Monitor, I see through you. You completely made a mistake, and now you're trying to touch my heart so I won't dare accept it!」
Those two animals could do whatever they wanted. Returning to his chat screen with Chen Yuying, Lin Li accepted both transfers and continued to send a mood-killing message:
「Lin Li: But this trick is useless against me. Not only did I accept it, but I'm also going to top it all into my games.」
Gacha banners, wait for me. I'm going to use my girlfriend's money to fund you guys.
This was his Will of Fire!
「Chen Yuying: Okay~ Go ahead and top up~」
~~Miss Lin, the way your lips curl upward is beautiful~~
No wonder some guys were completely willing to be gigolos for wealthy sugar mommies who could drain the life right out of them. Holy crap, this was just too satisfying.
And his was even a young, beautiful, wealthy little sugar mommy!
「Lin Li: Monitor, you're going to make me get ahead of myself. Next time we meet, can you go to the kitchen and fry up a couple of dishes for me?」
「Chen Yuying: 『Bear with hands on hips gif』」
「Chen Yuying: Students aren't allowed inside the cafeteria kitchen. Looks like this won't work.」
Their next meeting would be tomorrow, at school.
「Lin Li: The faculty dormitory has a kitchen. Let's find Old Man Jian and borrow his kitchen. If you're the one asking, he will absolutely agree.」
「Chen Yuying: You're not allowed to give him an inch and take a mile 『Fist』」
「Lin Li: 『Bear with hands on hips gif』」
Since Chen Yuying was already his person, her expression packs were naturally shared property. Stealing one wasn't a crime.
「Chen Yuying: Are you busy right now? If you're not busy, can I give you a voice call? I don't want to type, and I want to hear your voice too.」
Lin Li directly rang her up via WeChat call.
Holy crap, only the coldest person in the world could see a message like that and not take immediate action.
"What are you doing right now?" The call was picked up instantly, and Lin Li asked tenderly.
"I just put the flowers you gave me into a vase. I'll try to turn them into dried flowers later because I want to preserve them. I hope they last a bit longer before spoiling. And now I'm lying in bed, waiting to chat with you."
Chen Yuying was indeed lying in bed; her speaking pace was a bit slower than usual, and she sounded soft and sweet.
"There's no need to treasure them that much. There will be plenty of opportunities to give them to you in the future. If you want them, I can give you another bouquet tomorrow without any problem." Lin Li was in the living room, lying on the sofa with his legs stretched over the backrest as he responded with a smile.
"No, no need. It's just that this bouquet was given during your confession, so it's different."
Chen Yuying hurriedly said:
"I don't actually love flowers that much; I love you. I only love that bouquet because you're the one who gave it to me."
Lin Li: ☉_☉.
Babe, I haven't even thrown out a basic attack yet, and you're directly dropping an ultimate on me?
Ten thousand critical damage! Ten thousand critical damage!
"Babe, my heart isn't good. If you keep this up, my heart will race so hard that I'll suddenly drop dead on the spot." Lin Li gloated in his mind for a good while before he finally spoke up.
On the other end of the phone, only the girl's soft, playful sound of blowing a raspberry came through.
It seemed she had absolutely no intention of repenting.
Excellent. No intention of repenting was exactly what he wanted.
If she actually repented, Lin Li would have to scold her.
"So Monitor, should we switch to matching profile pictures or something? I'll follow your lead." Remembering the question Bai Bufan had asked earlier, Lin Li pivoted to ask.
Some people placed extreme importance on these senses of ritual. Forget QQ and WeChat—they even had to use matching couple profile pictures on NetEase Cloud Music, Douyin, Tantan, and Momo.
"Mm... I'll look around to see if there's the kind that is very well-hidden. If there isn't, we won't switch at all."
But Chen Yuying wasn't among them. She knew the drawbacks of doing so, and added to the fact that she truly didn't place heavy emphasis on it, she merely answered with a casual tone.
"Okay. But I feel like we already have matching couple items on us, right? Monitor, there's a question I've wanted to ask you for a very long time. Is the bracelet you gave me actually a matching couple version? Do you have another one on your hand?"
Lin Li shook his wrist, and one of his birthday gifts subsequently let out a crisp clinking sound, transmitting it to the other side.
A question that hadn't been suitable to pop previously could finally be asked without any restraint.
"Lin Li, check your messages." Chen Yuying didn't answer directly.
Hearing this, Lin Li reopened WeChat. Chen Yuying had sent him a picture.
Clicking it open, it was a photo of a small bear plushie also lying on a bed.
Lin Li zoomed in on the picture to inspect the surrounding corners. The room's arrangement was very girlish, but unfortunately, he failed to find any leg that had accidentally wandered into the frame.
Only then did Lin Li begin to inspect the bear. It was very similar to the one in his own bedroom, except the one in the image was white and had a bowknot on its head—it was clearly a little female bear.
"Actually, even the small bears are matching couple versions." At this time, Chen Yuying's voice—carrying a hint of smugness and playfulness—came through:
"The bracelet barely counts—because back then, I still felt it couldn't be too obvious, you know? The one I made for myself is just similar. Lin Li, let's go pick a pair of real ones another day."
"Sure—"
Lin Li elongated his tone. Remembering his birthday that day, he smiled and said again:
"Monitor, do you know? That day when you leaned in close to me next to the car, I thought you were going to kiss me. At that moment, I had even come up with our future children's names. In the end, it turned out you were just telling me the secret of the gift. I was both happy and disappointed at the time."
"Tsk—who would kiss you..." Chen Yuying voiced her small disdain, but then spoke up with a bit of bashfulness: "So what were the children's names you came up with?"
"You want to hear them?" Lin Li grew somewhat excited all of a sudden.
On the other end of the phone, Chen Yuying's brow furrowed slightly.
Why do I get a bad feeling about this?
"I think I suddenly don't want to hear them anymore..." Chen Yuying said weakly.
"Too late," Lin Li gave her no chance. "Haha! I've wanted to tell you the name born from my shocking wisdom long ago!"
"I've even arranged the genders. Babe, if it's a boy, I hope he can protect you in the future, so let's call him Lin Shouying (Lin Protect-Ying). If it's a girl, then she can just protect herself, so I plan to call her Lin Ziwei (Lin Self-Defense)!
How about it? From the perspective of symbolism, it's simply perfect. And it's not easy to overlap with existing names either—at least I haven't met anyone with this kind of name in reality yet!"
After finishing, Lin Li waited expectantly for praise.
"……"
"……"
However, there was a long stretch of silence on the other end of the line. What followed wasn't praise, but a personal attack against Lin Li: "Super big pervert..."
For a split second, Chen Yuying even felt that she could no longer look directly at the character "Ying" in her own name.
Sigh, Chen Yuying suddenly felt a bit worried.
When she wasn't dating Lin Li, he was already perverted enough. Now that they were dating... what was she supposed to do?
Would he act completely unbridled toward her?
She was doomed.
"Are these two names no good? This is the fruit of my exhausting efforts." Lin Li was a bit disappointed that his hard work hadn't received recognition.
"They are absolutely no good!"
"Then I'll think of some others."
"You're not allowed to think anymore either, Lin Li. I am stripping you of your naming rights."
"On what grounds!"
"On the grounds that I was just swindled out of nine thousand yuan by you," Chen Yuying laughed.
Deplorable. One's mouth is soft when taking from others.
Sigh, I wonder if the monitor's mouth is soft too.
"Fine, then what names do you think are good..."
On the first night of getting together, there were always countless things to chat about. Many words that they had been embarrassed to say because other people were ultimately listening can finally be spoken aloud.
Past ambiguous actions became excellent conversational topics at this moment, bringing joy to both sides.
Ah, an absolute, thorough feast of schadenfreude.
Ding.
「Wu Min invites you to a voice call.」
"My mom is calling me." The phone placed to the side lit up. Seeing the notification, Lin Li raised an eyebrow and said.
"Huh? What's wrong? Does Auntie need you for something?" Hearing this, Chen Yuying paused their current topic. Having talked a bit too much, her mouth was slightly dry, so she got up to find some water to drink, while simultaneously inquiring out of curiosity.
"No, it's just our weekly routine chat. My mom probably realized that I'm already on a call over here, so she cancelled it immediately." Lin Li didn't mind.
"Then you should reply to Auntie's message first," Chen Yuying nodded. "It just so happens that I'm tired from talking~ I'll go remove my makeup and take a bath too."
"That works. Then I'll call you back later?"
Chen Yuying wasn't the pretentious type who would say things contrary to her heart. When she told him to reply first, she meant for him to reply first, so Lin Li nodded.
"Okay, let's chat again in a bit."
Hanging up the call, Lin Li dialed Wu Min.
Women queuing up to chat with me, perhaps this is my charm.
Looks like I need to learn time management skills from Show Lo.
"Lin Li, finished your gaming session?" Wu Min let out a yawn the moment she picked up, inquiring casually.
—This kind of scenario had occurred before in the past, but basically because Lin Li was playing games in a party with his friends. Wu Min subconsciously assumed it was the same this time.
Therefore, after hanging up the call just now, Wu Min didn't even ask a single question over WeChat regarding what Lin Li was doing.
"You could say that," Lin Li giggled.
No matter how open-minded his mother was, there was truly no need to talk about this matter for the time being. However, Lin Li's tail was currently wagging incredibly high, and he quickly couldn't resist actively inquiring:
"Mom, do you want a grandson?"
Dear mother, Lin Shouying and Lin Ziwei are waiting for you.
In the future, whether you want to be Grandma Shouying or Grandma Ziwei, the choice is yours.
Taking these two kids out for a stroll and introducing them—man, that would be incredibly prestigious!
"I don't," however, what welcomed Lin Li was Wu Min's extremely disgusted voice. "A grandson? I don't even want a son anymore, let alone a grandson. Keep that away from me."
Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)?"
Hey, wait a minute?
If you don't want a grandson, so be it, but you can't not want a son.
My mother's words are truly hurtful.
"Mom, saying that kind of stuff is a bit hurtful."
"Cut it out. Why are you suddenly asking about this? What, are you pregnant? Or are you getting a pet?" Wu Min inquired, a faint trace of an ominous premonition stirring in her heart.
"I was originally pregnant, but hearing your cold words just now, I've already miscarried," Lin Li said sorrowfully.
"That's wonderful."
Although she didn't know what kind of ghostly idea Lin Li had cooked up again, the miscarriage of this ghostly idea counted as good news for Wu Min. She let out a long sigh of relief.
"Mom, you are truly a cold and ruthless person. You have completely broken my heart. In the future when you want to cradle a child, I'll see what you do then!" Lin Li was extremely furious.
"I will go become a confinement nanny or a regular nanny. There is no need for you to worry about this, Lin Li." The threat had zero effect, and Wu Min merely sneered.
Lin Li: "……"
Cradling someone else's child?
An evil nanny is exactly like this.
Holy crap! Lin Li currently had reason to suspect that he was actually the child of a billionaire, and had been swapped by Wu Min!
It all aligns, it all aligns!
Who stole his life?!
"If you want abortion fees, just say it directly. Don't beat around the bush." Wu Min began her bizarre descriptions.
"Sister Min, why do you always think that my reasons for seeking you out have to do with money?"
Lin Li's self-esteem suffered a blow:
"I have really had enough of you as a mother. It just so happens that I've grown up and reached adulthood. I've decided that starting from today, I am going to live completely alone forever!"
"Oh," Wu Min's voice carried no ripples, only teasing: "Your wings have grown that stiff? What, where do you plan to live? Have you found a house? How much is the rent? Mom will help you take a look to see if it's worth it."
"Renting a house?" This time, Lin Li was a bit puzzled. "Why would I need to rent a house?"
"Then how are you going to live alone?"
"Mom, I already went into your room just now, packed up all your belongings, and threw them outside the door. Come back and collect them yourself when you have time. If it's late, I won't be responsible. If they get picked up by the trash collector, you're on your own." Lin Li said calmly.
Wu Min: "……"
Hey, wait a minute.
So wanting to live completely alone forever didn't mean going out to rent or buy a house, but rather throwing his old mother out forever?
Uttering this kind of speech in ancient times would result in being drowned in a pig cage until dead. However, appearing from her son, it was actually quite normal.
"Lin Li, prepare some safflower oil and contusion medicine. It will be useful when I return in two weeks." Since Lin Li displayed his filial piety, Wu Min also decided to display her maternal love.
"Mom, what's wrong? Are you injured?" Lin Li asked knowingly.
"Yes. Mom's hand might get swollen from beating someone by then," Wu Min said faintly.
Lin Li laughed for a while, then inquired: "Sister Min, didn't you usually only return home during holidays in the past? Why are you suddenly coming back in two weeks? Did your company grant a vacation or something?"
"Aren't you guys having a parent-teacher conference? I'll have to take time off to attend when the time comes." Wu Min didn't conceal it.
"A parent-teacher conference? When? Have they already notified you guys?" Lin Li was stunned for a moment upon hearing this, and then grew curious.
Xue Jian had indeed said before the midterm exams that there would be a parent-teacher conference afterward. However, it wasn't mentioned at all during the class meeting last week; he had thought that matter was already off the table.
"Yeah, it's set for the week after next, most likely on Friday." Wu Min nodded. "They said they want to talk to us about your elective choices, academic proficiency tests, and class streaming considerations...
I'll forward it to you; look at it yourself. To put it bluntly, it's useless for Mom to listen to it anyway. You definitely have your own opinions, so just make the decisions yourself."
"Then you're still taking time off specifically for it? It's not like my class teacher doesn't know our family situation. Even if you don't come, he won't say anything," Lin Li laughed.
Wu Min fell silent.
If it were in the past, she might have pushed this parent-teacher conference away, or had a relative, brother, or sister in Xiling Town attend on her behalf.
But this time, Lin Li had placed first in the entire class and the entire grade during the midterms.
Not going to that?
Wu Min: "Lin Li, naturally it's because Mom loves you."
Lin Li: "?"
My mom loves me? Real or fake.
……
Calls with Wu Min were never very long. After all, they spoke every week and also chatted on WeChat normally, so there was truly no need to spend hours on the phone.
The desire to share between the two wasn't that massive either.
And to be perfectly honest, the maternal love and longing that could accumulate from not hearing Lin Li's voice for a week really wasn't that much.
This bit of maternal love would be completely depleted after chatting with Lin Li for thirty minutes at most.
Therefore, the person who typically terminated the warm mother-son call was still Wu Min.
Lin Li immediately dialed Chen Yuying's number again, seamlessly transitioning.
While waiting for the call to connect, Lin Li felt that this would also be a reflection of his and Chen Yuying's future—they certainly wouldn't be like today every day, wishing they could hear each other's voices at every single moment.
Being too clingy easily accelerated boredom.
But today was the first day of being together after all, and the desire to express oneself simply could not be suppressed.
「You initiated a voice call.」
「The other party has declined.」
「Chen Yuying: Wait a bit~ I'm currently taking a bath.」
「You initiated a video call.」
「Chen Yuying: ?」
(End of Chapter)