Lin Li and Wang Ze looked at each other in silence. Lin Li raised his chin.
Wang Ze, whose heart was already dead, didn't care what Lin Li wanted to do anymore. He just looked at Lin Li lifelessly, waiting for his next words.
However, Lin Li remained silent, but urged Wang Ze with his eyes.
"What? What do you want? Why aren't you talking?" Wang Ze asked, somewhat confused.
Lin Li then let out a long sigh of relief and patted Wang Ze's shoulder: "I'm waiting for you to speak."
"Why?" Wang Ze didn't understand.
"Because as the saying goes, ugly words come first. So you must open the topic. I'm handsome, so handsome words can only come later." Lin Li smiled warmly and explained in detail.
Wang Ze: "..."
Your mom.
"Fuck, you're chasing me to kill me? What's the point of living, I'm jumping!"
Wang Ze dejectedly took off all his upper garments.
Lin Li quickly stepped back, afraid that Wang Ze planned to have a hallway battle with him.
Oni-chan, this kind of thing is dame yo.
"Let's go, let's go back next door. Maybe there really is something wrong with my aesthetics. Lin Li, help me pick out some clothes. Prime Minister, please, I'm willing to do anything."
Wang Ze pulled Lin Li towards the next room.
"Alright."
Since he had nothing better to do, Lin Li nodded and followed.
"Wang Ze, first tell me what kind of style you're planning to go for?"
Looking at the pile of clothes Wang Ze took out of his closet and threw on the bed, Lin Li picked through them and looked up with some disgust.
This pile of non-school uniform clothes looked like a lot, which was even rarer in Nansang Middle School, a school that usually required students to wear uniforms.
But in reality, there were very few that could be chosen.
Because most of them were clothes and pants Wang Ze wore during training, and they couldn't be matched at all when going out to play.
"Of course, it's still masculinity. I think this is my advantage, maximizing strengths and avoiding weaknesses."
Wang Ze didn't forget his original intention, still obsessed with his sleeveless tank top, and then suddenly put on a cold face: "Lin Li, where the fuck are you looking?"
This guy was now a crotch-staring cat.
"Maximizing strengths and avoiding weaknesses, wearing pants so tightly, makes sense." Lin Li stared for a while longer and nodded.
Wang Ze: "?"
Before Wang Ze could retort, Lin Li stood up, not looking at the clothes on the bed:
"Masculinity, okay, I understand. I'll go ask Qu Wanqiu if she has any extra clothes and bring a few over for you. As long as they're oversized, you should be able to fit into them."
Wang Ze: "(；☉_☉)?"
"No? Why are you borrowing clothes from Qu Wanqiu?" Wang Ze didn't understand.
"For you to wear." Lin Li looked up calmly and answered.
His eyes seemed to wonder why Wang Ze would ask a question with such an obvious answer.
"...Lin Li, what I want is masculinity, mas-cu-lin-i-ty!" Wang Ze gritted his teeth and emphasized word by word.
"I know."
"Come, come, come, Prime Minister, tell Ze'er, what does wearing women's clothes have to do with masculinity!" Wang Ze laughed out of anger.
"Foolish, Ze'er. Wearing women's clothes to be a femboy, this is something only a man can do. So couldn't this be said to be an extremely masculine behavior?"
"Let me ask you, can a girl be a femboy?"
"Besides, as everyone knows, men hold up half the sky, and women hold up half the sky. Therefore, it can be concluded that femboys can hold up the whole sky.
Fuck, Wang Ze, think about it, this is the whole sky! When the time comes, in front of Senior Sister Qian, you hold it up, Ei yo man! I don't even dare to imagine how strong the love in the senior sister's eyes will be when she sees this scene."
When Lin Li talked about this, he became ruthless, forgot his feelings, and risked his life, his little mouth firing off like a machine gun.
Although history told Lin Li that the end of the Southern Liang Dynasty was the Northern Dynasties, this was not important.
(Translator's Note: "Nan Liang" (Southern Liang Dynasty) sounds like "nan niang" (femboy)).
The person in front of him was Wang Ze, would he be afraid of this?
As for Wang Ze, who Lin Li thought wasn't afraid, he had already silently walked to the corner, took out his arm blaster, and slowly approached Lin Li.
Lin Li, feeling his health bar light up, got up and ran.
"Lin! Li! Why the fuck didn't you tell me to castrate myself in front of the senior sister? According to your theory, wouldn't that also be very masculine!!" Wang Ze chased with red eyes.
"Teachable, then I'll ask Qu Wanqiu and her dorm mates if they have a sharper knife, so you'll suffer less and cut it off more dashingly.
When the time comes, you wear women's clothes and act as a eunuch, your masculinity will explode. I guarantee, Wang Ze, your confession can make the headlines of Xiling News tomorrow."
Hearing Wang Ze draw inferences from one instance, Lin Li was very gratified and evaluated while running and looking back.
"Just making the news, what kind of confession is needed for such a trivial matter? Lin Li!" Wang Ze sneered and shook his head, "As long as I kill you, I will definitely make the news tomorrow!"
Wang Ze really liked the lyrics in Faye Wong's "Fleet of Time".
If we can't have red eyes when we meet again, can we still have red faces, if you want me not to have red eyes, then you have to slap my face red!!
...
Lin Li finished watching the 15-second ad to revive, and returned to the dormitory with Wang Ze.
Actually, Wang Ze couldn't catch up with him at all, but he had to let the guy vent a bit.
"Seriously, Ze, with these few clothes of yours, you simply can't put together the tough guy style you want. Give it up."
Getting a bit more serious, Lin Li pointed to the clothes on the bed and shook his head:
"Moreover, masculinity is not something that should be shown through clothes. It's better to show it through your actions.
For example, if something suddenly happens around you, you immediately protect the senior sister behind you. For example, if the senior sister can't open a bottle cap, you take it and find that you can't open it either, and then you go 'ying ying ying'..."
"That makes sense." Knowing that Lin Li was speaking ironically, Wang Ze, who roughly understood the meaning, didn't bother to argue, but nodded instead, "Then if I don't do this, how should I match them?"
"Just keep it clean and fresh. Don't think about highlighting those bullshit muscles of yours. Be looser, more casual, trendy to the point of rheumatism, Hong Kong style artsy guy, understand? Here, these two pieces, try them on."
Lin Li picked out a few pieces from the pile of clothes, handed them to Wang Ze, and started the fitting.
"Try this one again."
"These pants are a bit weird, change to this pair."
"..."
"Let's go with this set, I think it's okay."
There were only a few pieces that could be worn, so there weren't many matching options. It didn't take long for Lin Li to give his answer:
"I personally approve of this set, but aesthetics are subjective. I don't know Senior Sister Qian's side, so I can't guarantee she'll like it. It's up to you."
"Don't start stacking armor at this time, I'm a bit scared," Wang Ze laughed and scolded, "I'll go ask Bufan and see what he says."
"Just 'woof woof woof'."
"There are approving 'woofs' and disgusted 'woofs'."
Speak of the devil, and the wife arrives. Just as Wang Ze walked towards the door, the dormitory door was pushed open. Bai Bufan was holding a hairdryer, probably having just finished blow-drying his hair and come upstairs.
"Silly dog Lin Li."
The first thing he did upon entering was insult Lin Li.
Then he looked Wang Ze up and down for a while, and Bai Bufan nodded approvingly: "Not bad, much more human-like than the last set."
But Wang Ze narrowed his eyes, took a step forward past Bai Bufan, closed the dormitory door, then looked at Lin Li and asked for his opinion: "Lin Li, hiss… what do you think of, tsk, the set Bufan is wearing?"
Lin Li, Bai Bufan: "QAQ?"
Lin Li took a look. Because the weekend trip had been announced in advance, Bai Bufan naturally brought his casual clothes this week, and was wearing them now.
Don't say it, really don't say it.
It was indeed better than Wang Ze's set.
"His looks better." Lin Li nodded.
"OK!" Wang Ze smiled.
Bai Bufan: "Eh, no, wait…"
...
"It's a bit too sweet to wear, forget it, I'll stick with my own set."
Wang Ze, who had gone to the stairwell to compare, came back, threw the clothes at Bai Bufan, who had been stripped down to his underwear on his bed, and said in disgust.
"Evil creature, evil creature." Bai Bufan, who adhered to the "if life rapes you, enjoy it and moan" philosophy, lazily caught the clothes, then returned a middle finger to show respect, and then defended his clothes:
"Wang Ze, let me tell you, where is my outfit sweet? It's clearly very fashionable!"
"You'll know when you look at the material yourself. Zhu Wen usurping the throne… you're completely Tang (Down syndrome)." Wang Ze, in his most literary moment, said in disgust:
"Bufan, what were you thinking, buying clothes made of Nailong material. As soon as I put it on just now, I couldn't help but want to jump around and shout 'I am Nailong, I am Nailong'."
Bai Bufan: "?"
Stunned for a moment upon hearing this, Bai Bufan rummaged for the tag inside his clothes. After seeing it clearly, he couldn't help but laugh:
"Fuck, Wang Ze, are you an idiot? Nylon, who the fuck told you this is Nailong material, it's nylon!"
Lin Li blinked, that's very Nailong.
"Alright, the core reason is that it's a bit small. Bufan, I'm really speechless, couldn't you grow a bit taller?" Wang Ze shrugged and told the truth.
There was still a gap of a few centimeters in height between Wang Ze and Bai Bufan, but a few centimeters can make a big difference sometimes, so the same clothes look completely different on the two of them.
"Cursing the cook after eating your fill, you really know how to backstab. My height at this age is already very awesome, okay? You two, one is a talent monster and the other is an old thing, I can't even be bothered to flame you."
Bai Bufan changed into his own clothes, stood up, and pointed at the two of them.
"Compared to backstabbing, I prefer its synonym, rear-entry." The scolded Wang Ze smiled playfully, "Entering yours."
"By the way, Wang Ze, where are your flowers, what are you going to do with them in the end?"
Ignoring the two who started playing games, Lin Li looked around, didn't see Wang Ze's flowers, and asked.
"I've already left them in Pinglu. I gave them to a shop owner and added him on WeChat. I'll see if there's a suitable opportunity to slip away and get them then. If not, I'll spend a little more money and have the owner deliver them for me."
Wang Ze turned his head and said.
"A bit troublesome." Lin Li raised his eyebrows and commented.
"Then what other way is there? This is already the optimal solution I can think of." Wang Ze shrugged.
"Don't you have an unused storage ring at home? Take a storage ring, put the flowers inside, and materialize them when you need them. How convenient, and it keeps them fresh. No matter how early you buy them, you don't have to worry about them wilting."
Lin Li gave a suggestion.
"Hehe, idiot." Wang Ze chuckled and gave a sharp comment.
Lin Li sighed. His sincere heart was fed to Bufan, even though he gave the most sincere advice.
"By the way, when are you two going over?" Wang Ze asked.
"We agreed to meet at the school gate in ten minutes, we can pretty much leave now. What about you?"
Lin Li rubbed his forehead, thinking about how to bump Qu Wanqiu and give her a big lump without ruining his hairstyle.
"I haven't yet, the senior sister and I agreed to go play after lunch." Wang Ze answered.
"Why eat lunch if you're going over there to play…"
"Knock! Knock! Creak…"
Before Lin Li could finish his sentence, the door was knocked twice. The person outside found the door unlocked and pushed it open, walking in.
Chen Tianming.
Because they all knew what Chen Tianming went to do, the three of them looked at Chen Tianming's head.
"Look, Wang Ze, Tianming took my photo and told the barber, this is what a proper length looks like, and it's the length when I'm not styled!" Lin Li immediately looked at Wang Ze and said proudly.
Wang Ze ignored him.
Bai Bufan frowned: "No, Tianming, what the fuck kind of styling did you do? It feels like besides being a bit fluffier, there's no other change?"
Chen Tianming sighed: "My evaluation is that barbershops are the only legal casinos in the mainland."
"I support this. Last time I said thin the sides and leave the middle alone, damn it, they made me look like shit." Bai Bufan agreed with this point.
Chen Tianming continued to sigh: "I asked him to blow-dry it according to Lin Li's, but I wasn't satisfied after he finished, so I washed it back to normal and just messed with it casually."
"And he didn't charge me extra for the second time, it seems he knows what's up in his heart."
"What did it look like when it failed before?" Lin Li was curious now.
"You'll know when you take a look." Chen Tianming took out his phone.
Lin Li and the other two leaned in.
"Why are you showing us a picture of your grandmother? Show us the styling the barber did for you?" After taking a look, Lin Li frowned and looked at Chen Tianming in confusion.
"But, Tianming, your grandmother is quite fashionable." Bai Bufan gave a thumbs up.
"Indeed, if your grandmother went square dancing, I feel like she could charm a bunch of old men to death." Wang Ze nodded in agreement.
Chen Tianming, who was the grandmother himself: "..."
These evil creatures… they were obviously doing it on purpose.
Chen Tianming smiled: "To be honest, Lin Li, Bufan, Wang Ze, I feel like you three must be very kind."
"Oh, why do you say that?"
Although they knew what followed would probably be insults, the Kings of Eating Shit couldn't help it.
"Because being human means having both disgust and kindness, but seeing you guys, I know you are disgusting to death." Chen Tianming chuckled.
"Ohohohoh—" A group of masochists, cheering for Chen Tianming even after being scolded.
"I can only say that barbershop is a bit trash, they didn't find what suits you," Lin Li stepped forward and patted Chen Tianming's shoulder, "But let it be, it's pretty good, at least the return is positive."
"It's not entirely without merits. The geographical location of that shop is quite good. You can jump into the river right out the door."
Since the other party was willing to wash his hair a second time for free, Chen Tianming felt it was necessary to say a fair word for them.
"That's really good, but Bufan and I have to go first. Wishing you and Wang Ze success in your confessions." Lin Li stood up with Bai Bufan and said with a smile.
"Thanks for the good words." Chen Tianming and Wang Ze smiled.
"Guaranteed good words. Yesterday I used a 4.9 free shipping fleshlight from Pinduoduo, the effect was immediate, today my dick is particularly inflamed. But forget about borrowing it, I still have use for it."
Chen Tianming, Wang Ze: "?"
Then Chen Tianming also immediately returned to his dormitory—nothing much, just couldn't be in the same space alone with Wang Ze.
...
School gate.
"Eyo yo~ Lin Li~~"
Qu Wanqiu was already there. Seeing Lin Li and Bai Bufan walking over, she started with sarcastic remarks.
"Stop eyo yo-ing, just tell me if I'm handsome or not." Lin Li popped his collar and adjusted his non-existent glasses.
"Average." Qu Wanqiu was stubborn.
Lin Li sighed, pulled Bai Bufan over, and pressed his cheek directly against Bai Bufan's: "How about now?"
"Wow, handsome." Qu Wanqiu's eyes lit up and she nodded.
Lin Li (shy):
"()"
Bai Bufan (calm):
"(。＿。)▄︻┻┳═一"
"Sure enough, fresh flowers still need green leaves to match." Lin Li patted Bai Bufan.
"Eh, fuck, why are you two so bad!!"
Bai Bufan never expected to be hurt like this.
He wanted to create a Bai Bufan Protection Organization!
"It's okay baby, don't you know, the ugly duckling isn't an ugly duckling after it grows up, it's an ugly big duck. Although it's still not good-looking then, it can be sold for money, so the future is promising."
Lin Li gently twisted the knife.
Bai Bufan raised his middle finger, then sneered and started to counterattack: "Lin Li, have you ever played Chinese chess?"
"Nonsense, of course I have, what's the saying?" Lin Li asked curiously.
"Then you should know that the 'Shuai' (General/Handsome) is always surrounded by two 'Gan' (Guards/Fuck), and can never leave their range," Bai Bufan sneered:
"The wisdom of our ancestors is telling us that the handsome will always be fucked, and can't escape the fate of being fucked for a lifetime, and it's two at the same time!"
"You're miserable, you've met Wang Ze."
Lin Li, Qu Wanqiu: "...(；☉_☉)?"
Qu Wanqiu scratched her head. S-so it's 'Gan'? Have I been setting up Chinese chess wrong all these years?
No! Bai Bufan, you don't know how to read!
Lin Li felt his butt hurt a little.
Two... that would really be too much to handle.
Because they had already called a car on the way over, the car arrived quickly.
Bai Bufan neatly sat in the front passenger seat, the one that dies first in an accident. Tearful eyes, Bruce is the best.
"Little Qiuqiu, urge Dingzi to come downstairs." Lin Li said to Qu Wanqiu after getting in the back seat.
"Okay."
"Driver, follow the order, pick someone up first and then go to Pinglu Street." Bai Bufan said to the driver.
"Okay, got it." The driver nodded.
"Thank you, driver." Bai Bufan said politely.
"Young people nowadays are still polite," the driver nodded in gratification, then complained to Bai Bufan speechlessly:
"Child, let me tell you, the last few passengers I picked up all inexplicably gave me bad reviews after getting off, causing my star rating to drop."
"That's so bad. Don't worry, driver, I'll definitely give you a five-star review later." Bai Bufan patted his chest and raised his chin at the driver.
Bro!
Hearing this, the driver was overjoyed: "Young man, you look average, but you have a good heart! Thanks. By the way, what are you doing on the weekend, going to cram school?"
Bai Bufan: "(；☉_☉)?"
Lin Li, Qu Wanqiu: "(ω)!"
"...Ha, haha, no, I'm going out to play." Bai Bufan forced a smile and answered somewhat awkwardly.
Lin Li and Qu Wanqiu exchanged a glance, tacitly lowered their heads, and started to hold back their laughter.
Driver, oh driver.
Is it possible that the bad reviews from the previous passengers weren't inexplicable at all.
Bai Bufan, who no longer wanted to communicate with the driver, looked down at his phone.
[Lin Li: Guess what just happened in the car? @Chen Yuying @Ding Sihan]
Bai Bufan: "..."
Fuck you, I don't want to look at my phone either.
The school wasn't too far from Ding Sihan's house, so the car arrived there shortly.
"Ahhhhh Lin Li!"
When Ding Sihan got in the car from Qu Wanqiu's side, hearing her battle cry, Lin Li instantly felt comfortable.
"You actually did your hair?" Ding Sihan clicked her tongue.
"Of course." Lin Li crossed his arms proudly, "Oi, Dingzi, don't open the window on your side. If the wind blows my hair crooked, I'll break your spine later."
"So relaxed, looks like you're fully prepared?" Ding Sihan, who was threatened, wasn't annoyed. She stopped opening the window, turned her head, and asked with a smile.
"There was nothing to be nervous about in the first place. It's a matter of course, just let nature take its course. I didn't plan to make it too flashy either." Lin Li said with a smile.
"Do you need us to help with anything else?" Bai Bufan turned around from the front seat and asked.
"Just find a chance to disappear tonight," Lin Li said disdainfully, "What else can a useless thing like you help with?"
"I prepared Stride." Bai Bufan took out chewing gum from his pocket: "It can make your mouth cleaner, want some?"
"Uh... give me two pieces, thanks."
This young man, he looks average, but he has a good heart!
(End of Chapter)