No one in this world can leave a barbershop unscathed.
After hearing Lin Li's words clearly, the store manager shivered.
So he's not helping me introduce customers, but picking a fight with me?
"Young man, tell me what you're not satisfied with. We haven't cut your hair, just washed and blow-dried it. As long as you wash it, it will immediately return to its original state. There's still a way back, it's not that serious..."
The store manager stepped back, shielding the apprentice behind him, and said awkwardly.
Moreover, he felt that his finished product was really good. Lin Li's modeling was too top-tier, it would be hard to mess it up even if he tried.
As for the apprentice, he looked back at the store manager.
Why is this store manager so bad? Sure enough, an adult's bottom line disappears slowly just like their hairline.
"No, just joking, livening up the atmosphere. I'm quite satisfied." Lin Li stood up, approached the mirror, looked again, and smiled towards the two people in the mirror.
It naturally blew out a textured layer, adjusted just right.
Hairstyles, after being carefully done, indeed improve overall appearance significantly.
Even a goblin, as long as they carefully groom their hair, can become a handsome-haired goblin.
"Oh, oh, that's good," the store manager let out a long sigh of relief upon hearing this, startled himself, then stepped forward and said: "Alright, since you're satisfied, let's put some product on to set it."
"Okay."
"Handsome, have you considered getting a perm or dyeing it? To be honest, with your face, a perm or dye would be absolutely perfect," starting to spray hairspray, the store manager couldn't keep his mouth shut again:
"Also, if you agree to cooperate with us to shoot a video and post it on our shop's TikTok account, I can give you a 50% discount."
When saying this, the other party deliberately lowered his voice to prevent the female customer getting her hair done next to them from hearing.
See, this world says appearance isn't important, inner beauty is true beauty, but in reality, people with good looks are always given various preferential treatments.
I can only say, if your values are right, please be my friend; if your facial features are right, please be with me, any position is fine.
"Boss, I'm still a student, the school won't allow it, forget it." Lin Li said with a smile.
"Oh, oh, that's a pity. But if you're interested during winter or summer vacation, you can come find me." Hearing this, the store manager could only nod regretfully.
It's not easy to find a model who is free and can even bring in a return on investment.
"Okay."
With the hair set, Lin Li and the store manager came to the front desk.
"First time here, how about getting a membership card? We just launched a promotion today. After getting a card, you can enjoy a 20% discount, it's very cost-effective."
After writing something in a notebook at the front desk, the store manager pointed to a poster behind him that indeed looked newly put up and introduced it.
"No…" Lin Li naturally chose to refuse, but when he saw the content of the poster, he froze:
"...Um, boss, have you read this poster yourself?"
Seeing Lin Li's strange look, the store manager also turned his head to look at the poster.
"..."
The store manager turned his head, looked at the apprentice playing on his phone, and shouted: "Xiao Guang!"
"Ah? Eh! Boss! What's wrong!" The apprentice quickly put down his phone and ran over.
"How did you make this poster!!"
"What's wrong? Didn't I do it according to what you said?" The apprentice looked at the poster himself, looking bewildered, not understanding why the store manager was so fierce.
"Didn't I tell you to make a 20% discount promotion?"
Hearing this, the apprentice narrowed his eyes this time, looked carefully for a while, then scratched his head: "Didn't I write it clearly according to your request."
The store manager laughed out of anger, pointing at the poster: "Come, come, come, read these words with me, what does it mean · 'Recharge one hundred on the membership card, get eighty credited', hmm?! Answer me!!!"
"What's wrong with that?" The apprentice frowned even tighter.
What exactly is the problem?
Facing the apprentice's sincere eyes, the store manager suddenly smiled in relief, his anger vanishing instantly. He just rubbed the apprentice's head:
"Child, is your junior high school diploma fake? Tell me honestly, I won't laugh at you."
...
Lin Li was no longer at the barbershop; he was riding his bike to school.
Today's departure arrangement was that he, Bai Bufan, and Qu Wanqiu would take a taxi together, first go downstairs to Ding Sihan's house, which was closer to the school, pick her up, and then the four of them would take one car directly to Pinglu Street.
As for Chen Yuying, it would be more convenient for her to go directly from home, no need to meet up with the four of them.
"The nurse's little cucumber, soaking since the year it was born~"
Because it wasn't the agreed departure time yet, Lin Li hummed a song and walked towards the dormitory after arriving at school.
"Knock knock knock! Knock knock knock!" Lin Li knocked loudly on the door.
The dormitory door opened, it was Chen Tianming.
"Fuck, Lin Li, did you get a perm?" For familiar people, changes in hairstyle are too easy to notice. Chen Tianming, who was originally going to say something else, widened his eyes and exclaimed.
Lin Li shook his head upon hearing this and explained with a smile:
"No perm, just blow-dried at the barbershop, didn't even use a curling iron. I can only say that the same thing can have completely different effects in different people's hands. The barber's hairdryer and our hairdryer are simply not the same machine."
"How much did you spend to get it like this?" Chen Tianming was obviously a bit tempted.
"One thousand five hundred, cents." Lin Li answered.
"Excuse me... Lin Li, you animal! Don't use cents as a unit at a time like this!" Chen Tianming, who had already retreated upon hearing the number, raised his middle finger speechlessly after hearing the unit clearly.
"How expensive can a wash and blow-dry be? Although I don't know the prices of barbershops near the school, I guess it's not much different." Lin Li smiled.
"OK! I'll go try it too." Chen Tianming took out his phone, took a few pictures of Lin Li's head to use as a template for the barber, and then walked straight out the door.
Lin Li walked into the dormitory. The lights weren't even on, and Bai Bufan was lying on his upper bunk, making no sound.
Oh, oh, no wonder there was no sound. Lin Li thought Bai Bufan was ignoring him because he let Wang Ze fuck him yesterday. Turns out he was dead.
There was indeed still some time before departure, so let the child be dead for a while.
Lin Li was about to go next door to see Wang Ze.
"Lin Li~" Bai Bufan suddenly muttered.
"Ah?" Lin Li turned his head.
"Lin Li~" Bai Bufan just muttered again.
Lin Li frowned, talking in his sleep?
"Raise it higher~" The slurred voice came again.
Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)!?"
Then he saw Bai Bufan lying on the upper bunk, reaching his hands into the air, and then his buttocks began to continuously thrust upwards against the quilt, the bed board creaking in response.
"Oh oh oh oh~"
"Iku iku, I'm going to iku!!"
Fucking eating shit while sleeping, this disgusting creepy guy, really gross.
"Bai Bufan, you really are a Korean." Lin Li turned on the light in the dormitory and cursed with a smile.
"How is this Korean? Didn't you feel it when I went in? Impossible, right?"
Bai Bufan stopped thrusting, sat up from the bed, rubbed his messy hair, unceremoniously picked the corner of his eye with his hand, flicked the eye booger aside, and said with a smile.
If Zhou Baowei were in the dormitory and saw this scene, he would definitely turn red with anger.
Last time he was eating instant noodles in the dormitory, and Bai Bufan was clipping his toenails on the upper bunk. While eating, he suddenly sighed, 'Fuck, Master Kong has grown a conscience, there's actually gristle in the instant noodles, and it's even crispier than Tang Daren's'.
When he realized the dormitory was suddenly very quiet, and also realized that this gristle might not be gristle, he turned his head and saw Bai Bufan already facing him, kneeling on the ground in prostration, admitting his mistake.
Because you don't hit a smiling face, Zhou Baowei used his foot that day.
Sour, smelly… from Bai Bufan.
"Hehe, don't understand the meme, right? I'm scolding you for having no Ma Dong-seok (no mom)." Waiting for this sentence, Lin Li immediately explained proudly.
"Fuck, I really didn't think of this!" Hearing the explanation, Bai Bufan widened his eyes.
Noted, I'll use it on Zhou Baowei later.
"I suspect this meme was thought up by the Japanese." Bai Bufan then commented.
"Oh, what's the reasoning?" Lin Li knew Bai Bufan was up to no good again, but as the King of Eating Shit, he couldn't help but play the straight man.
"Because I found that Japanese people obviously prefer 'Chao' (dynasty/towards) between 'Han' (cold/Korea) and 'Chao'." Bai Bufan answered.
"Because the name has a 'Ri' (sun/Japan)? Sun! Loyalty!" Lin Li snapped his fingers and gave his reasoning.
"Of course not, that's too superficial and unreasonable. I found the root of this because in the Japanese movies I watch, there are a lot of 'Chao Chui' (squirting) scenes."
Bai Bufan smiled proudly, pointing at Lin Li and giving the answer:
"But Lin Li, have you noticed, you've never seen a 'Han Chui' (cold blowing) scene!"
Lin Li: "∑(￣□￣)!!"
What?!
"It's true!" Lin Li said in shock, then gave a thumbs up.
This angle was invincible. Lin Li had to admit that he had also seen many Japanese people squirting.
And these movies were all amateur shoots, meaning this stance came spontaneously from the people!
Higher gold content!
The content of that gold is also very high!
"Yo, Lin Li, doing your hair just to see me, good attitude."
After picking his eye boogers and picking his nose, Bai Bufan noticed Lin Li's hairstyle and said approvingly.
"Get up, get up, the hair in the back is all sticking up. Although I'm not a courting peacock and don't need to spread my tail feathers, I still have to wash my hair. Is there enough time?"
Climbing down from the bed, Bai Bufan yawned, walked to the balcony, and asked.
"There's enough time, take your time, I'll go see Wang Ze."
Lin Li nodded, not hindering Bai Bufan from washing up, went next door, and knocked on the door.
"Fuck, Lin Li…" Wang Ze opened the dormitory door, saw the hairstyle, and widened his eyes.
"Skip."
"—This hairstyle is handsome."
Damn it, gal games are all lies, I clicked Skip, why can't I skip this dialogue?
I want to fast forward to the shooting part.
"Should I get one too?" Wang Ze touched his head.
"What kind of hairstyle can you get with a buzz cut, give it a rest." Lin Li sweated yellow beans.
"Sigh, I have no choice," Wang Ze shrugged, "Last time I went to the barbershop, I took your photo and said, 'Bro, I want to cut it to this length'. The barber nodded and said, 'No problem, I know him', and gave me a buzz cut.
I looked in the mirror and wondered, 'Eh, fuck, why is it a buzz cut'?
The barber said, 'What's wrong, isn't this Lin Li, I know him, he's just this length'.
I said, 'Bullshit, the hair in the picture is this long, bro, you're lying through your teeth'!
He said, 'Ah?! You were talking about the length of the hair? Sorry, sorry'!
He apologized, and it was indeed my fault for not explaining clearly, so what else could I do, just accept it. I can only say the barber knows you too well."
Wang Ze sighed.
Lin Li: "(へ╬)!!"
"Fuck, Wang Ze, so you're the real Korean," Lin Li kicked Wang Ze's butt directly, kicking him onto the bed, and cursed with a smile:
"It's too much to say my length is only a buzz cut. Am I a fucking peanut? Couldn't you make it a bit longer?"
"Didn't Chen Tianming tell you, he's seen it, my ancestors are suspected to have agricultural tool bloodlines!"
When Chen Tianming comes back later, if he turns into a buzz cut, that will be a fatal blow.
"Fortunately I haven't changed clothes yet," Wang Ze patted the shoe print on his butt, then snapped his fingers and simply took off his school uniform: "Lin Li, you came at the right time, help me see how this outfit looks today."
Wang Ze neatly changed into an outfit.
"How is it?"
Lin Li pinched his chin and pondered for a long time, finally nodded, and commented: "To be honest, this outfit of yours looks a bit like Xiao Lizi (Leonardo DiCaprio)."
"Fuck, that handsome? Really, I'll go to the stairwell and take a look."
Wang Ze immediately walked out excitedly—there was a full-length mirror on the wall at the dormitory stairwell, the mirror on the balcony couldn't show everything.
"Uh, I meant Xiao Lizi from 'Magic Chef Xiao Fugui'."
"Magic Chef Xiao...?" Wang Ze, with half a foot already out the dormitory door, turned his head to stare at Lin Li, starting to search his memory.
"Damn Lin Li! So you were talking about that little eunuch. Don't film 'Magic Chef Xiao Fugui', film 'Little Chef God Lin Li'."
When he remembered who this Xiao Lizi was, Wang Ze couldn't hold it in.
"Ze," Lin Li patted Wang Ze's shoulder, "How should I put it, for example, if you ask me to do a multiple-choice question now, giving me three options A: Good-looking; B: Average; C: Ugly to evaluate..."
"Choose C, right?" The dejected Wang Ze knew Lin Li was up to no good, and sneered coldly upon hearing this.
"Too one-sided, baby, you only get half points for selecting fewer options in a multiple-choice question," Lin Li smiled and shook his head, "The correct answer is—'C that is not B (cunt)'."
Wang Ze: "(；☉_☉)?"
"No, ah?"
"No! Ah?!"
"Lin Li, is your mouth poisoned? Who would dare to kiss you in the future!!" Wang Ze transformed into a goblin priest and started his battle cry.
"Hmph, you don't need to worry about that, someone wants to kiss me." Lin Li smiled disdainfully, "I have to kiss the mirror for half an hour every morning when I wake up. Those who don't understand Lin Li are in trouble."
"I understand Lin Li, I envy the mirror." Wang Ze then became a bit shy, "Saying that about you just now was actually just me PUAing you, I... just, just want to have you all to myself~"
Lin Li: "..."
Forgetting that the person opposite was Wang Ze, Lin Li instantly stopped smiling.
After coughing twice, he pointed at Wang Ze's outfit, looking speechless:
"Wang Ze, come, come, come, tell me, pairing this outfit with a sleeveless tank top, and fucking exposing it, what the fuck are you doing? Hmm?"
"To show my masculinity!" Wang Ze felt his pairing made sense. With a shrug of his broad shoulders, he shook off his jacket to his elbows, revealing his biceps.
After striking a few poses to show off his muscles, Wang Ze said proudly:
"I specially went to the coach for the key last night. After buying the flowers, I went to the school gym to work out. Look, are these muscles very obvious?"
"Love is truly a wonderful thing. Thinking about getting a girlfriend today, I maxed out my deadlift at 190 catties. My previous max was only 180, a huge breakthrough!"
"Fuck, that's awesome."
Only insiders know how awesome this number is. Lin Li was somewhat shocked.
"Average, average."
Being looked at with such eyes by a grade-first like Lin Li felt really good. The corners of Wang Ze's mouth were almost impossible to keep down, but he still had to wave his hand and pretend to be very modest.
"This is really not average, bro, teach me," Lin Li was truly impressed, so he immediately stepped forward to massage Wang Ze's shoulders, obsequiously seeking the secret manual:
"How did you do it? Teach me, teach me. Last time I went to the gym and deadlifted a catty and a half, I was reported and kicked out, and even blacklisted by the gym. The receptionist pointed a mop at my nose and called me a psycho."
"..."
Wang Ze, who was about to blurt out his techniques, suddenly fell silent.
(；☉_☉)?
The proud smile on his face completely stiffened. Wang Ze looked at Lin Li, then at the balcony, his mouth opening and closing, wanting to speak but stopping, stopping but wanting to speak, wanting to speak but stopping.
His deadlift technique could help a 150-catty lifter reach 160.
But it couldn't help this fucking one-and-a-half-catty lifter.
"...What the fuck were you deadlifting!! If I were the receptionist, I would really have to control you!!" Wang Ze roared and questioned.
Look, anxious again.
Lin Li sighed, with a gentle smile on his face, he said to Wang Ze:
"Alright, Wang Ze, even if you have a lot of shit and can pull 190 catties at once, listen to my advice, this outfit of yours is just, how should I put it.
It's fine to wear it, after all, today is just going to the market.
If you and your senior sister were going out to play on the Lantern Festival, you really couldn't wear this outfit, really.
Because it's highly likely that when you two are happily dating, you'll see a child getting very excited, pulling his mother's hand and shouting at you two:
'Niu! It's Niu!'
You get very angry hearing this, roll up your sleeves to show your muscles and masculinity, ready to fight this creepy kid for speaking so vulgarly, but then you hear the kid turn his head and say to his mother:
'Mom, mom! I guessed the answer to this walking lantern riddle! It's the character Niu! Right!'
The child's mother quickly says to you, 'Sorry, sorry, children say whatever comes to mind', and hugs the child and walks in the opposite direction, but you'll hear a lowered whisper floating in the air, 'Little Bao is so awesome! Guessed the answer right away'.
But the child is very modest, he waves his hand: 'It's not that Little Bao is awesome, it's that Senior Sister Qian is really a girl, and that low-IQ poser Wang Ze is also a super big ugly cunt (chou bi)'."
Lin Li even imitated the child's tone, describing it vividly.
Hearing this story full of personal bias and cadence, Wang Ze was already laughing so hard he collapsed on the bed.
Fuck, Lin Li is really super petty.
I just made up a story to attack him, and his counterattack is this swift?
Wang Ze really wanted to kick Lin Li too, but considering that Lin Li had matched this outfit to go out and play, he finally controlled his desire.
I'll kick him back next week.
After laughing, Wang Ze realized this insult was quite dirty, so he stopped smiling: "(へ╬)..."
"Is it really that ugly?"
Lin Li pulled Wang Ze next door and shouted at Bai Bufan, who was washing up on the balcony:
"Little Bao! Stop washing your face! Mom is testing you, this Wang Ze standing next to a girl, guess a character riddle."
Bai Bufan, who was washing up, turned his head, looked carefully for a while, and gave the answer: "Ying (baby)! Isn't this my Beibei! Baby! I love you!"
Wang Ze: "!"
Lin Li: "?"
"No, Bufan, did you get addicted to being fucked last night?" Lin Li turned his head with a twitching mouth and asked, "What the hell do you usually use to wash your nether regions, it can't be ice, right?"
"This is Wang Ze's charm." Wang Ze chuckled, "Sooner or later, the whole world will love gay jokes!"
"You'll be honest when a real one sneaks in someday."
"If a real one sneaks in, at most my butt will be loose, how could I be honest." Wang Ze denied.
Lin Li gave a thumbs up.
Can't argue with that.
"Alright, Bufan, seriously, how do you evaluate Wang Ze's outfit." Lin Li asked again.
Bai Bufan pulled the balcony door open a bit more, saw clearly, his expression complex, wanting to speak but stopping, and finally waved his hand: "Forget it, my words are a bit harsh, I'll mute my mic first."
Then he completely closed the balcony door with a bang.
"Blergh—"
"Blergh—"
Two muffled sounds of vomiting came through, the dormitory was quiet, but silence spoke volumes.
"Here." Lin Li raised his hand to gesture.
Wang Ze: "..."
(End of Chapter)