Humans are always selfish. There are many examples. For instance, people like to look at the reproductive organs of plants and exclaim, "Wow, so beautiful and fragrant," but they hide their own and won't let you see them.
Too selfish.
Today, I corrected Chen Tianming's erroneous mindset.
Another day of doing good deeds. Other bros who are confessing tomorrow, have you felt the power of wishes I brought you?
After cheering for Chen Tianming again, Lin Li rode his bike back to his apartment building.
As soon as he got off his bike, pushed open the iron gate of the community, and walked in, he saw Zhang Fang chasing a child with a bamboo pole, gritting her teeth as she chased:
"Xiaobo, stop right there!"
Xiaobo was obviously the child's name.
When Lin Li was a child, he was chased and beaten by Wu Min like this many times.
Because he knew very well how miserable it would be after being caught, Lin Li resolutely stepped forward and decided to help—he stopped the child.
Hehehe, childhood cannot be incomplete.
"Grandma, what's wrong? What made you so angry?" After Zhang Fang caught up, Lin Li asked with a smile.
"We were square dancing. My grandson, just as the music was about to start, took a bamboo pole, raised it next to the leader, and shouted loudly at us, 'Children, start drilling!'
He's treating us like monkeys! I've lost all my face because of him!"
"I am the Monkey King! Let me go! I am the Monkey King! Let me go!" The child tried to escape Lin Li's demonic clutches, struggling at this moment.
Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)?"
Fuck, this kid might really be Brother Monkey.
No wonder Zhang Fang is so angry.
Actually, it wasn't that offensive to the other people square dancing; they would just find it amusing.
But when Zhang Fang meets her friends in the future, they might greet her with, "How's your Monkey King grandson doing?"
She couldn't save face.
Lin Li bent down and asked softly: "Little friend, let brother test you. Do you know how many monster girlfriends Sun Wukong has?"
The Monkey King frowned upon hearing this, looked up at Lin Li with disgust: "Adaptation is not random fabrication, joking is not nonsense. When I see a female monster, I hit her with my stick. I don't have a monster girlfriend!"
Fuck, reversing the natural order.
Lin Li was amused. It seemed this guy was a Sigma Monkey King.
"What if the prettiest girl in the class is a monster?" Lin Li asked again.
"Then I can have one monster girlfriend." The Monkey King nodded, readily accepting good advice.
"Not bad!" Lin Li gave a thumbs up.
Zhang Fang: "?"
After saying goodbye to Zhang Fang, Lin Li found a random restaurant to eat.
Behind him, the Monkey King was being spanked by his grandmother with the Golden Cudgel.
Lin Li ate while scrolling through his phone.
A message popped up.
[Bai Bufan: The feeling of being investigated is that it hurts quite a bit at first. If the other party speeds up, it gets a bit numb, and you can feel something pushing out from your stomach.
Later, it hurts more and more, like muscle atrophy, the kind of severe pain where you don't want to move. Your stomach will also feel extremely bloated, like it's been run over by a truck. Your pupils will even lose focus, and you'll see double, but you're still alive and can still move.
Wang Ze told me that the next day my throat will also hurt, and my body will hurt even more. If someone rubs it, it will be fine in a day or half a day, but my legs will be a bit unaccustomed to walking.
Lin Li, are you willing to rub it for me tomorrow? Or can you support me while I walk?]
Lin Li: (；☉_☉)?
What kind of fucking text has entered my line of sight?
[Lin Li: ?]
[Lin Li: Bai Bufan, do you fucking dare to read this again? Do you know you're being a bit scary?]
[Bai Bufan: I used voice input.]
[Lin Li: ?]
[Lin Li: Then I'm sorry, I underestimated you.]
[Bai Bufan: I'm really stupid, really. I shouldn't have gone out alone with Wang Ze. Sigh, I kindly gave him advice, but he repaid my kindness with enmity and fucked me.]
Lin Li chuckled, seeing through the essence at a glance.
[Lin Li: Don't make yourself sound so clean. Tell me, what kind of beastly advice did you give again?]
...
"Hey, Bufan, I suddenly thought of a question," Wang Ze frowned, put down the bouquet in his hand, and looked at Bai Bufan.
"What's wrong?"
Because Wang Ze said his nose was sensitive, Bai Bufan, who was sniffing and picking which flower was the most fragrant, looked up and asked.
"I don't plan to confess as soon as we meet... Then after I buy the flowers, where should I put them so I can take them out at the right time?" Wang Ze frowned.
"Should I carry a backpack tomorrow? But if the flowers get bent or wilted, it will be ruined, and it's easy to be discovered..."
Bai Bufan thought for a moment, hesitated for a while, and said: "I have a method that can meet your requirements, hide the flowers, and take them out at the right time."
"I knew bringing you, this Dalmatian, was no problem. You have a lot of ideas, speak." More people mean more power, more dogs mean eating shit faster. Wang Ze showed anticipation.
"But there's a price. Neither of these two flowers will work," Bai Bufan shook his head and pointed to the flowers in Wang Ze's hands.
A rose in the left hand, the language of flowers is passionate love; a pink tulip in the right hand, the language of flowers is eternal love.
"Then what should I give?" Wang Ze asked in confusion.
Bai Bufan: "Enoki mushrooms."
Wang Ze: "?"
Bai Bufan knew Wang Ze didn't understand, so he immediately explained:
"The flower language of enoki mushrooms is 'I want to see you tomorrow too'. In terms of flower language, it doesn't lose to the two in your hands.
And enoki mushrooms can do what they can't. Wang Ze, as long as you eat a lot of enoki mushrooms tonight, you can hide them in your stomach, and the senior sister will definitely not discover them tomorrow.
And when you need them, you can take them out at any time.
I've even arranged a little romance for you.
For example, after confessing, you say, 'Baby, I prepared flowers for you.'
The senior sister will definitely cover her mouth with both hands in surprise at this time, and you immediately turn around and stick your butt out towards Senior Sister Qian.
At that time, you deliberately stay quiet for a few seconds, then turn your head and smile wickedly: 'Baby, you don't think I'm a creepy guy and want to give you a chrysanthemum, do you?'
'Of course not! Haha, just kidding! My butt is just the wrapping paper for the flowers.'
'Watch closely, baby, your romantic surprise is coming~'"
"At this time, you take off your pants…"
Instantly, Bai Bufan's expression twisted, and he forcefully made a nasal sound: "'Nnngh uh uh uh nnngh…!!'"
"Wang Ze, I don't need to say more about what happens next, right? You just push hard, and leave the rest to God's will!
Fuck, ahhh~ Just thinking about the scene makes me want to cry a little. This is too touching and romantic. Who could refuse such a confession~~"
The more Bai Bufan spoke, the more excited he became. The more he spoke, the more immersed he became in his own art. He closed his eyes, a smile on his lips, already oblivious to the world around him.
Wang Ze: "(⊙▃⊙)?"
Wang Ze's expression was stiff, his mouth wide open.
Good opportunity.
And the flower shop owner, who was a customer nearby, was pale. He looked down at the gardening knife in his hand used for pruning bouquets, hesitating whether to stab it into his own ear or into Bai Bufan.
To be able to say such things, he was already very close to God, purely close to God.
"How about it, how about it," seeing Wang Ze in a daze, Bai Bufan patted his shoulder heavily, claiming credit: "Perfectly meets your requirements, right? Take it and use it anytime, an absolute surprise."
Wang Ze snapped back to reality.
He smiled in relief, but actually, he was dead inside.
Turning his head, he gave the flower shop owner an apologetic look. Wang Ze pulled Bai Bufan and walked outside.
"Bufan, there's an unnamed fire in my lower abdomen, I want to do something right now."
"Come, follow me into the alley."
...
[Bai Bufan: That's how it is. I kindly gave him advice. It's fine if he doesn't take it, but he actually used violence against me. I can only say Wang Ze is a pure super-masculine sports student, fitting my stereotype of sports students.]
Lin Li: "..."
After listening, Lin Li felt like he was also a bit dead.
[Bai Bufan: Lin Li, why aren't you saying anything.]
[Lin Li: Just now when I was reading your message, my phone fell on the ground. After a police officer saw it, he came over and took me away directly, saying I violated national territory, you know.]
[Lin Li: [Picture]]
[Lin Li: Fuck your mom, Bai Bufan, I'm eating, and there are fucking enoki mushrooms in my dish!]
[Lin Li: If you want to be a good dog, just be obedient. There's no need to share the shit you love to eat with everyone!]
[Bai Bufan: What a coincidence? You're eating enoki mushrooms?]
[Bai Bufan: Then I must share a little story of mine with you.]
[Bai Bufan: Thinking back to the first time I ate enoki mushrooms when I was a kid, I didn't know they would come out the back door. That time, I suddenly wanted to go to the toilet in the middle of the night. As soon as I squatted down, I took a huge dump like a dam releasing a flood. Then there was a beef-cube-like thing stuck at the entrance. I pulled hard, but still felt an invisible force hanging onto that beef cube. I panicked. I didn't dare to imagine what I had pulled out. I thought I hadn't finished pooping, but no matter how hard I pushed, it was useless. I shook my butt trying to brush it off. Suddenly, the beef cube was driven by my body, swung up and hit my butt. I only felt a chill sweep over my whole body, as if I was in the severe winter. I knew it was over, there must be something else in my butt. So I took a few pieces of paper, wrapped the beef cube and pulled it down. Suddenly my butt tightened, and something was really pulled out by me. I looked closely and it was actually an enoki mushroom. I shivered, wiped my butt dry, threw this sinful paper ball into the trash can, secretly swore in my heart never to eat enoki mushrooms again, pulled up my pants, walked weakly back to my room, returned to bed, and humiliatingly fell asleep again.]
Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)?"
Sometimes, because the reading speed is too fast, by the time you realize what you've read, it's already too late.
"Haha, haha, ha." Lin Li laughed out of anger.
[Lin Li: Thinking back to when I was a kid...]
[Wang Ze: ?]
[The other party is typing...]
[Lin Li: Don't be anxious.]
[Lin Li: This was sent to me by Bai Bufan. I am also a victim. Now, I'm using one of my chances to command you, go fuck him again, thank you.]
During the sports meeting, Wang Ze promised to fulfill ten small requests for Lin Li.
[Wang Ze: Okay, but no need to waste a chance, this is what I should do.]
"Phew…"
Seeing this message, Lin Li let out a breath, feeling much better.
Looking down at the plate in front of him.
"..."
"Fuck your enoki mushrooms!"
Lin Li decided that in the future, he would open a cheap and good enoki mushroom restaurant. The only requirement would be that you must go to the toilet in the restaurant before you can leave.
...
Carrying the packed food upstairs.
Lin Li prepared to go to the cultivation world.
Tonight's plan was to spend a few minutes in reality to go to the cultivation world, and then go to the driving school to log a few hours of driving practice—anyway, he just needed to park by the side of the road, it wouldn't hinder Lin Li from doing other things.
Finally, if he had spare time, he would go to the market to scout the situation.
Although it had been less than two days since his last visit to the cultivation world, completing the task triggered in chemistry class earlier would allow him to study the new cultivation method in the rewards earlier.
Ready, a white light flashed.
Lightning arcs flickered. It seemed Daoist Shanqing's mood was still not very good.
The old man was currently sitting in the computer chair:
"Bufan, help me open and play the porn on the phone."
"Woof woof, sorry, the current operation does not comply with laws and regulations, I cannot assist you."
"Hehe, according to Article 1032 of the Civil Code, 'natural persons enjoy the right to privacy'. This phone is neither connected to the internet nor subject to third-party supervision. According to the 'principle of minimum necessity' in Article 6 of the Personal Information Protection Law, you have no right to interfere.
My phone, my rules. The one not complying with laws and regulations is you! Now, assist me!"
"Woof woof, sorry, according to the device terms of use and local content management agreement, this operation is restricted."
"Damn it!! Why is it still not working!"
Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)?"
What entered my ears?
Daoist Shanqing shook his head and sighed deeply. This phone's artifact spirit was really stupid, completely inflexible.
Or was it that he still knew too little about the laws of the present world?
Forget it, let's play games, continue with Dark Souls.
Wait a minute.
Daoist Shanqing froze.
Just now when he shook his head, did he see Lin Li out of the corner of his eye?
Daoist Shanqing abruptly turned his head and locked eyes with Lin Li.
"Hi, haha, Grandpa~" Lin Li was actually feeling more guilty than Daoist Shanqing, stiffly raising his hand to greet him.
Daoist Shanqing looked up at Lin Li, then looked down at Bufan, who was still waiting for his command, his expression also stiff.
"Lin Li, when did you get here?" After a long silence, the old man probed cautiously.
"Just got here. I didn't hear anything. I have no idea what you were saying to Bufan." Lin Li answered firmly.
The old man breathed a sigh of relief.
In the silence between the two…
"Woof woof, 111, the topic Shanqing and I were just discussing was about how, due to legal restrictions, I cannot assist Shanqing in completing the command to search for porn-related content on this device."
The phone emitted a mechanical, intelligent voice with fake emotion.
Daoist Shanqing, Lin Li: "..."
The two were dumbfounded.
Lin Li was even more fucked.
Your mom.
He almost forgot, because he had used this fucking phone before and recorded his voice, it would also listen to his commands.
As for "111", it was because the phone needed a 'nickname' when recording multiple voiceprints. Lin Li didn't write his own name, but randomly entered the numbers "11". Daoist Shanqing was "Shanqing".
"..."
Fuck!!
Now, even if he hadn't heard anything just now, he had heard it now.
Originally, both of them were ready to pretend they didn't know about this, but this dog thing exposed everything!
Bufan, this is the third time you've disgusted me today. Just wait for tomorrow.
Lin Li pursed his lips, thinking about how to wrap this up. But the next second, he saw Daoist Shanqing had already arrived by his side, reaching out to touch the back of his head.
The speed was too fast, he couldn't react at all.
"Eh?" Daoist Shanqing voiced his confusion.
Only then did Lin Li 'belatedly' take a step back, slightly vigilant: "...Grandpa, what's wrong?"
Daoist Shanqing looked at his fingers for a while, then looked up, asking somewhat curiously:
"Lin Li, do you have some very powerful magic treasure on you? I originally wanted to make you faint for a moment, but I found it had almost no effect. My divine sense attack on you was almost completely neutralized."
Lin Li raised his eyebrows.
Although he didn't have a magic treasure, he did indeed have this ability.
[Wall of the Soul: All divine sense and soul-oriented attacks or manipulative intentions directed at you will be blocked by 99%.]
When he first got it, he thought it was a passive ability that was completely useless in reality.
It actually played a 'role' at this moment.
"I don't have a magic treasure, but I have a divine ability that can neutralize most attacks directed at my divine sense and soul."
There was nothing to hide from Daoist Shanqing, Lin Li told the truth.
Lin Li believed that Daoist Shanqing had absolutely no malicious intent towards him just now, he was just purely 'anxious'.
Putting himself in his shoes just now, if he was watching porn in his bedroom and his adult grandson suddenly burst in.
Lin Li felt he could do without a grandson.
But Lin Li was indeed curious about one question now:
"Grandpa Shanqing, under this kind of defense, can you still do anything to my divine sense?"
"Of course I can, even I can do it now," Daoist Shanqing nodded immediately, "You can only neutralize most of it, then I just need to increase the power of the spell."
"Lin Li, if you were a cultivator of the same realm as me or with a small gap, I indeed am not proficient in the path of the spirit, and might not be able to do anything to you. But you are now only at the fifth layer of Qi Condensation. No matter how strong you are, it's still just Qi Condensation.
You felt nothing just now, only because the level I used was very low. After all, I didn't intend to really hurt you."
Lin Li nodded.
He completely believed Daoist Shanqing's words.
It's very simple. If his health value is 10, and his defense value is a percentage of 99%, then to kill him in one blow, the attack only needs to exceed 1000.
The gap between people in the cultivation world is even bigger than the gap between him and Bufan.
A basic attack from a Tribulation Crossing mighty figure, let alone a thousand, a hundred thousand is normal.
"Lin Li, do you want to try?" Daoist Shanqing's eyes lit up, eager to try.
"What effects can divine sense attack spells achieve?" Lin Li didn't answer but asked.
"There are many. Depending on the spell, soul searching, memory alteration, cognition, control..." Daoist Shanqing answered.
Lin Li immediately looked at the system.
This description made Lin Li feel a bit scared.
The "Substitute Death Jade-Faced Buddha" could keep him from dying, but what if the other party only wanted to control him and didn't intend to let him die?
[You have used the Ability Amplifier (+1) on "Wall of the Soul". "Wall of the Soul" has been upgraded to "Wall of the Soul (+1)"]
[Wall of the Soul (+1): All divine sense and soul-oriented attacks or manipulative intentions directed at you will be blocked by 100%, and will automatically counterattack the target with 50% of the power of the attack.]
The last "Ability Amplifier (+1)" stored in the [Warehouse] was used.
But the result made Lin Li very satisfied.
Being 100% immune was enough.
Although Daoist Shanqing indeed had no malicious intent towards him, and although Daoist Shanqing also said that he couldn't see clearly or calculate him clearly.
The system might prevent this kind of situation from happening.
But Lin Li wouldn't gamble on this possibility.
What if one day the demon remnants in this forbidden land quietly escaped, drilled into his brain, and turned him into a puppet that only knew how to call for mom.
Exchanging an item for his mental 'invincibility', Lin Li felt it was very worth it.
"Grandpa, you can try, but now you might need to be a little careful, because my ability will automatically counterattack." Lin Li looked at Daoist Shanqing.
"Then I'll give it a try." Hearing this, Daoist Shanqing raised his eyebrows and reached out to Lin Li: "Don't worry, I'll be careful."
Touch.
Just like last time, Lin Li felt nothing.
And a few seconds later, the old man withdrew his hand in surprise.
"It really does counterattack."
The old man was completely fine. After all, the power of his spell just now took Lin Li's strength into consideration. The counterattack part of the ability was indeed insignificant to his divine sense level.
"How did you achieve such a change in such a short time?" The old man was curious.
"I exchanged it by paying a little price. I was worried that one day the demon remnants would come out..." Lin Li smiled and explained.
Daoist Shanqing nodded, but couldn't help but sigh: "The miraculousness of your divine ability is rare in this life. Even the Son of Heaven's Dao has never received such a gift."
But then Daoist Shanqing fell silent.
Since he couldn't touch this child's divine soul, how could he make him lose the memory of what just happened?
Ah~ I got it.
Lin Li: "?"
Lin Li looked in disbelief at the object that had just formed from spiritual energy in Daoist Shanqing's hand:
"Grandpa, this spiked club in your hand is..."
(End of Chapter)