"Wednesday is actually the best at pretending. It doesn't make itself as disgusting as Monday and Tuesday. But it doesn't ease the mood like Thursday, nor does it make people happy like Friday.
You want to scold it but can't find the words, really a buzzkill. This is a mistress, disgusting!"
"Indeed."
"True."
"Does Wednesday have a TikTok account? I'm going to scold it."
"I have Wednesday's payment code."
Wednesday, in the corridor, the boys from Class 4 of Senior One were cyberbullying Wednesday.
The sky was dim, and it was drizzling.
However, the wind wasn't strong, and the rain didn't pour into the corridor. So Lin Li and the others were still leaning on the corridor handrail, currently staring at the raindrops dripping from the edge of the fence.
They had checked the weather forecast; it was just a shower today, and it wouldn't rain on the weekend, so it wouldn't affect their outing.
"Lin Li, which drop do you support?" Bai Bufan spoke up.
"The one on the left. I think it's about to swallow the small water droplet next to it and flow down," Lin Li answered.
"I think the one on the right. Although your analysis makes sense, even though the environment on the right is bad now, it's closer to the outside. As long as rain blows over, it can immediately overtake. Your vision is still too short-sighted."
"The rain can't blow in." Lin Li, who could manipulate the wind, sneered.
Everyone chose the contestant they approved of and cheered for them.
At school, as long as you're not studying, everything is interesting.
Hasn't everyone stared at water droplets on windows or walls on a rainy day, hoping the one they have high hopes for will be the first to flow to the bottom?
However, before the results of the competition came out, Xue Jian walked over first.
The next class was math.
Because it was break time, Xue Jian came early. He didn't call the few people into the classroom right away, but just used a thumbtack to pin a piece of paper on the class bulletin board and shouted to everyone in the class:
"The midterm exam results are out. Those who want to see the rankings can take a look themselves."
"The results are out? Let's go take a look." Hearing this, Wang Ze and Lin Li turned their heads and walked into the classroom.
"Fuck, you guys just stop watching when your water droplet gets overtaken, right? Can't afford to play!" Bai Bufan, Zhou Baowei, and the others scolded with a smile, and then followed.
At the bulletin board, the classic scene of boys squeezing together, while the girls had no intention of coming up at all.
It wasn't that they were in a hurry to see, just looking for an excuse to squeeze together. Class 4 of Senior One was like this, hopeless.
"Wang Ze, excuse me, could you please stick your butt a little to the east, so I can exert force~" It was impossible to use brute force in this situation, so Lin Li didn't squeeze in, but took the opportunity to pat Wang Ze's butt and said.
"Alrighty, please take it easy, don't use blind force, you gotta use clever force~" Wang Ze nodded upon hearing this, but stuck his butt out in the opposite direction towards Lin Li, his tone also assimilated.
"Then hold on tight, our treasure is going to serve you, aim well, here we go!!"
"Auv! Don't say, it really is like that. Nine shallow thrusts seem polite, one deep thrust shows how authentic it is~"
"How could that be wrong? I'm also matching your style, I wouldn't bother putting my heart into it elsewhere. Your hindquarters are really top-notch! Worth it!"
"Alrighty, be careful at the very end, don't shoot inside, don't waste it for nothing, put it all in our mouths, I'll take a sip~"
"Hey, alright, you know how to eat! You're a real connoisseur!"
The bulletin board wasn't crowded anymore.
Completely, uncrowded.
My! God! What! Cyber! Sex!
Except for Lin Li and Wang Ze, all the boys, when these heaven-defying words began to rape their ears, automatically pulled away by a meter. The corners of their eyes, mouths, temples, and other facial areas all began to twitch uncontrollably.
—"What entered my ears!! Why are my ears bleeding!!"
—"Danzo, why don't you come collect my eyes too, ahhh!"
—"Fuck, Lin Li and Wang Ze meeting is really a match made in heaven, meeting their match. Only they could say such bullshit."
—"I don't dare to die now, I'm afraid my life flashing before my eyes before I die will make me listen to it again."
"Fuck!!" Wang Ze, who was continuing his cyber sex with Lin Li, suddenly stopped talking and said in shock the next moment.
"What? I haven't come out yet." Lin Li was surprised.
"No, Lin Li, you're fucking first in the grade? Ah? Ah?" Wang Ze's eyes widened, he turned his head to look at Lin Li, grabbed his collar, and let out three consecutive 'ah's.
"What? What rank? What rank in the midterm? Are you kidding! This old thing is at most first in the grade!"
The bros who had kept a safe distance from the gays, upon hearing this, surged forward again. They weren't in a hurry to see their own rankings first, but followed Wang Ze's finger and found the row where Lin Li was.
They saw the number "1" under "Grade Ranking".
"Fuck!!" Now the others also followed Wang Ze in saying 'fuck'.
Lin Li just blinked and smiled disdainfully.
He wasn't actually that calm.
Lin Li already knew in advance that he would enter the top ten… when Xue Jian posted this bulletin board, the system sent a notification that the task was completed.
That meant he was securely in the top ten.
Squeezing over to look was just to see who won between him and Chen Yuying.
Now, if he was first in the grade, then the answer was beyond doubt.
Lin Li wasn't surprised that he entered the top ten. His astonishing perseverance and sweat had no audience, although there was indeed a little help from cheats.
But he was still somewhat surprised to directly take the top spot in the grade.
Invincibility is so lonely.
But then, Lin Li also felt some regret.
He should have lost more points, controlled his score a bit, and not taken first place.
Not leaving room for progress for himself, isn't that not leaving room for tasks for the system?
If he took second place this time, then during the next monthly exam, the system would probably give him a task to take first place.
He was still too unwilling to make progress. It was like reaching the max level all at once in a leveling-up novel, there would be nothing left to write about later. Rounding it up, he lost a hundred million.
Forget it, it's fine. Lin Li adjusted his mindset very quickly. What's done is done.
Maybe the system will give some different tasks next time.
Lin Li glanced at Chen Yuying's score. It was quite stable, similar to last time, improved by one place, fifth in the grade, second in the class.
Lin Li pulled Wang Ze's hand away, patted his collar in disgust, pushed aside the irrelevant people, walked to the steps of the podium, and looked down at everyone from above:
"From now on, I want this sky to no longer cover my eyes, I want this earth to no longer bury my heart, I want all sentient beings to understand my will, I want all Buddhas to vanish into thin air!"
"Teacher, please stand up for a moment, thank you."
"Class Rep, please stand up for a moment too, thank you."
"Bufan, Baowei, you useless things sit down where you are."
"OK, just like this, everyone look at me. I'm not targeting anyone, I'm saying everyone sitting here is trash!" Lin Li's map cannon was very rigorous.
"Teacher, I report, Lin Li went to the teaching building to steal test papers last week, this score is watered down." Bai Bufan raised his hand to report to Xue Jian.
"We need to check Lin Li's academic qualifications to test the water content." Wang Ze nodded.
"That's very juicy, I want to eat it." Zhou Baowei swallowed a mouthful of saliva and also offered slanderous words.
However, Xue Jian just pretended not to hear.
Too lazy to reply.
Having no human rights is like this. Giving up on sowing discord, Bai Bufan, Zhou Baowei, and the others checked their rankings. There was still some time before class, so they went back to the corridor to chat.
"Fuck, Lin Li improved by four hundred places in two months, and reached the top of the grade all at once. This beast must be using cheats." Bai Bufan cursed, "I suspect Lin Li is a novel protagonist, with a system, the kind that helps him counterattack."
"It really looks like it." Zhou Baowei nodded, "But it's also possible he was reborn and knows the answers."
"Rebirth is impossible," Bai Bufan looked into the classroom with disgust, pointed at Lin Li, and frowned at the others: "If he's still this kind of jerk after rebirth, then Lin Li was reborn for nothing."
—At this time, Lin Li was still proudly striking poses and clamoring arrogantly in the classroom.
"That's true." Zhou Baowei was convinced, it was too childish, "It should be a system."
"Then the author must be an idiot, not choosing me as the protagonist?" Bai Bufan attacked the Heavenly Dao.
"On the contrary, I think the author is very smart, great, and awesome." Wang Ze shook his head. Noticing Bai Bufan's disdainful and disgusted gaze, he lowered his voice and explained:
"Simps have everything. If I lick a bit now, maybe the protagonist position will be given to me."
"Actually no, who changes the protagonist temporarily? That would definitely flop, so your licking now is meaningless." Bai Bufan denied.
"Hiss… that makes sense too." Wang Ze was convinced, gave up, and nodded: "Then the author is still an idiot."
"Right, the author should be an idiot." Having convinced his comrade-in-arms, Bai Bufan was very gratified.
"No," Wang Ze shook his head again, but the direction of his rebuttal had changed: "Bufan, I feel like there is no author. If there is an author, why can we still scold him?
If there really was one, shouldn't he be furious and incompetent right now, and directly summon a big truck to run us over?"
"Who knows, maybe he's an M, or maybe he's using our conversation to pad the word count."
"Maybe he even thinks playing the breaking the fourth wall meme is super humorous, funny, and shows his strength. After publishing, he squats in the paragraph comments wanting to see readers praise him. As a result, after refreshing for a long time, there's not a single comment. Finally, half an hour passes, he sees the message notification '1', clicks it excitedly, but only sees a comment like 'what low-IQ plot', and then his defense is broken but he doesn't dare to scold the reader, so he can only hide under the covers alone and drop little pearls, hehe."
Bai Bufan's words were sharp.
"Oh, that makes sense again." Wang Ze was relieved.
Inside the classroom.
Lin Li had good hearing and heard all these conversations, but he didn't go out to complain and show off… not because he didn't want to, but because he was stopped by Xue Jian.
"Lin Li, Yuying, do you two want to change your mottos on the honor roll? If not, I'll just use the ones from last time." Xue Jian asked this after announcing the candidates for the honor roll this time.
"Teacher, I want to change it." Lin Li's motto last time was still "Bai Bufan is right", of course he had to change it.
"What do you want to change it to?" Xue Jian glanced sideways.
"For the first place in the grade, write 'I am first in the grade, I want to burn everyone's butt with a cigarette butt', and for the progress roll, write 'Boys have thick skin, boys get burned twice'." Lin Li already had a draft in mind.
Xue Jian: "..."
Taking a deep breath, Xue Jian closed his eyes and didn't open them again, but accurately patted Lin Li's shoulder:
"Even if your grades are good, you can't burn other people's butts with cigarette butts. Rejected, change it to something normal, something more human-like."
"What? I can't burn them?" Lin Li looked shocked, pointed at Chen Yuying and protested:
"Then Teacher, I report, the Class Rep burns my butt with a cigarette butt in the toilet every day. She told me that having good grades means you can burn people casually. Our Nansang Middle School is a school of meritocracy. My grades are poor, so I must endure it!"
Chen Yuying: "?"
Xue Jian didn't even lift his eyelids upon hearing this: "Burned many times?"
"Mhm!"
"Then did you split the cost of the cigarettes?"
Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)?"
"N-no split." Lin Li answered stiffly.
"Then split the cost of the cigarettes, and say thank you." Xue Jian resolutely refused to open his eyes, seemingly really not wanting to look at Lin Li, just giving a fair and just verdict, suspected of being possessed by Captain Dragonfly.
The class roared with laughter.
Lin Li handed the breakfast money he collected in the morning to Chen Yuying, and Chen Yuying actually took it!
You really took it, baby.
"You'll return it to me later, right?" Lin Li lowered his voice and asked.
"Not giving it."
"Return half, half is fine."
"Not giving any of it, my cigarette money."
"Class Rep, don't let me catch you smoking in the future, otherwise, your butt is done for." Lin Li could only talk tough.
The response was just a "tch", the threat was ineffective.
Lin Li sighed.
Those bastards Bai Bufan and Wang Ze, even if he was a novel protagonist, he was one written by Yu Hua.
Lin Li wanted to let out a classic roar from Yu Hua at this moment—
"God!"
"Hang yourself!"
"Fuck me to death!"
—Yu Hua, "Cries in the Drizzle"
...
In the evening, Lin Li returned home.
He hung his wet raincoat directly on the hook attached to the wall at the door… although the old neighborhood was unsafe, it was also safe, the neighbors wouldn't take this kind of thing.
[Wu Min: First in the grade? You?]
He took out his phone and saw the message Wu Min sent him after seven o'clock in the evening.
It should be that Xue Jian also sent the report card to the parent group, and then Wu Min saw it after work.
[Lin Li: I went to steal the test papers before the exam.]
[Wu Min: Oh oh, then Mom is relieved.]
[Wu Min: [Transfer 500], keep up the good work, continue to steal next time, maintain the ranking.]
Lin Li nodded in gratification. She actually supported it? The source of his moral corruption and lack of quality was found.
Since ancient times, bad mothers have many kind sons.
Dengzi didn't send him a message today.
But he communicated with him yesterday and the day before. He is currently trying to help him contact some real gangsters and informants from other schools.
Because he said that right now, the schools are indeed relatively quiet. Their school was also visited by the Demon Suppression Division and the community. Even the most lawless group of people have somewhat restrained themselves.
As for daily minor evil deeds, of course there are, but Lin Li still has to go to school normally, so he has no way and no point in managing them.
It's fine, love to believe and wait.
After entering his home, Lin Li materialized a mirror.
This was the magic treasure he just obtained today.
[You have received rewards: Physique Improvement: Comprehension increased by 20%; Divine Sense Spirit increased by 100%; Random Magic Treasure 1.]
This was the task reward.
[You have obtained the magic treasure: Heavenly Secret Mirror]
[Heavenly Secret Mirror: After refining, one can pry into heavenly secrets through it.]
The introduction was very short. The physical object was a quaint-looking hand-held mirror with complex and numerous patterns. The back was engraved with ancient seal script "Those who observe impermanence, impermanence observes them", looking very pretentious.
The mirror surface was copper-colored, but it wasn't a bronze mirror. In fact, the so-called mirror surface part didn't reflect light at all and couldn't be used as a mirror at all.
Returning home, Lin Li began to refine it.
Grabbed it, instantly refined!
Superficial refining aimed at establishing a connection was not difficult. Soon, Lin Li also established a connection with the "Heavenly Secret Mirror".
Like other magic treasures, after this step equivalent to recognizing a master ended, more detailed information flooded into his mind.
The way to use it was to supply it with spiritual energy to absorb. When it absorbed to a certain extent, the mirror would reveal some heavenly secrets or give some guidance.
Every time it revealed a heavenly secret, the mirror surface part would shatter on its own, but it would repair itself like the "Duck Blood Bottle". It couldn't be used during the repair period.
Moreover, in its complete state, carrying it with you could also gain a bit of luck and get a little protection from the Heavenly Dao.
Deepening the degree of refining it could reduce the amount of spiritual energy needed to reveal heavenly secrets each time, the time it was shattered and unusable after revealing heavenly secrets, and also increase its spiritual energy absorption speed.
Lin Li materialized a low-grade spirit stone and placed it on the mirror, and he could feel the spiritual energy of the spirit stone being drawn and absorbed by the mirror.
No need for human assistance to absorb, this gets a good review.
The absorption speed was quite fast. In a few minutes, the spirit stone was empty, but the mirror had no reaction at all, obviously not enough.
Lin Li didn't provide any more spirit stones, he would just let it go to the cultivation world to absorb later.
When the takeout arrived and preparations were made, Lin Li prepared to go to the cultivation world.
A white light flashed.
The maximum stay limit increased by another half hour, reaching exactly seven hours.
"Boom!!!"
As soon as the white light disappeared, Lin Li saw a purple lightning bolt fall from the sky onto the ground outside the mountain, making a deafening roar!
Looking up, he saw that the originally peaceful and bright sky was now surrounded by purple lightning arcs, constantly flashing and moving.
It had a kind of oppressive feeling like purple clouds pressing down on the city, threatening to destroy it.
Rolling thunder, I'm so scared... sorry, wrong set.
"Bastard!"
Daoist Shanqing's angry voice came, and then he saw the spiritual energy of heaven and earth gather, gradually constructing a huge creature.
—Rag-like fleshy membranous wings, a tail like a burnt crocodile tail, thick enough to be a roof beam, a body like a cross between a toad and a rhinoceros, a back full of bumps oozing asphalt-like slime, a head shrunk into its shoulders, a single eye like a red-hot coal briquette, one hand almost degenerated, the other hand carrying a spiked lava hammer.
Lin Li's pupils quaked.
Eh?
Isn't this mutated big lizard the first BOSS in "Dark Souls 1", the Asylum Demon, that big butt!?
The moment the Asylum Demon appeared, it smashed the giant hammer in its hand towards Daoist Shanqing, but Daoist Shanqing just looked up and sneered.
Lightning gathered in his hand, and brilliant lightning instantly surged into the Asylum Demon's body from all directions. Not only was its movement frozen, but gradually, cracks emitting purple light from within appeared on the Asylum Demon's skin.
"Boom!!"
When the purple light gradually became brilliant, the Asylum Demon completely exploded, with a monstrous momentum, shattering into pieces of meat.
Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)?"
This is...
The next second, the shattered pieces of meat around gathered again and turned back into the Asylum Demon, but this time, it started kneeling and kowtowing to Daoist Shanqing.
But Daoist Shanqing stepped forward and stepped on its small head, directly crushing it into spiritual energy that dissipated.
It wasn't over yet.
A human holding a sword and shield then appeared in front of Daoist Shanqing.
"Heh…" Daoist Shanqing sneered.
"Aren't you a warrior? Ah? Then you pant like a dog after two slashes, and run out of energy after two rolls? With this cultivation level, why did you even leave the dungeon! You should have just died in the cell!"
"That bastard evil demon kills you with one hammer blow, what damage do your slashes do to it?"
"You really are a useless thing!!"
Daoist Shanqing reached out and poked the 'Undead's' head, saying a sentence with every poke, angrily questioning with a feeling of hating iron for not becoming steel.
"..."
Lin Li lowered his head and started to hold back his laughter.
He already understood what Daoist Shanqing was doing.
This behavior of the Daoist was essentially equivalent to smashing the keyboard, throwing the mouse, punching through the screen, going to take a shower, or even stealing Zoe's blue buff after getting red-temperature angry at a game… venting behavior.
It's just that in reality, everyone can only vent through these indirect methods, but Daoist Shanqing himself can pinch out the characters or monsters in the game and destroy them 'with his own hands'.
This is obviously more satisfying.
Lin Li was a bit curious.
Are the characters pinched out like this realistic?
If they are realistic, Lin Li has a bold idea...
Forget it, put away this dirty thought for now.
Wait until the day he can pinch them himself to consider it.
Speaking of which, he had only been gone for half an hour, and Daoist Shanqing actually found the Asylum Demon? Then he actually has quite a talent for finding his way… probably.
With a sigh, Daoist Shanqing slapped the Undead's head away, then let out a long sigh of relief, sat back in the computer chair, and stared fixedly at the bonfire at the respawn point.
The bonfire is the warmest place in the world.
Seeing that Daoist Shanqing didn't look at him, and hadn't even noticed he was here yet, he must be really angry.
Lin Li, who could be considered the culprit rounding up, stood obediently and spoke cautiously: "...Grandpa~"
His voice was like a child's, attempting to awaken Daoist Shanqing's paternal love.
"Lin Li? You're back?" Daoist Shanqing turned his head, saw Lin Li, and instantly appeared in front of him. Then he seemed to smile in relief, reached out and sucked the computer over, pointed at the screen and questioned:
"Come, Lin Li, tell Grandpa, is this 'Dark Souls' really a casual relaxing mini-game like Angry Birds?
Why do I feel like the only thing this game has in common with Angry Birds is the word 'Angry'?"
Very good, the old man didn't make a move on him.
Lin Li laughed awkwardly twice, not daring to meet his eyes: "Grandpa, maybe it's just a tiny bit not casual..."
"You kid, good, good, good, you kid…" Daoist Shanqing smiled kindly.
Lin Li held up the takeout:
"Grandpa, today is also brand new food that I haven't brought before."
"Since things have come to this, how about we eat first."
(End of Chapter)