They throw poop at me, I use the poop to make egg tarts, oh oh oh oh oh~~~
They throw cabbage at me, I use the cabbage to stir-fry a dish, oh oh oh oh oh~~~
They throw at me, I oh oh oh oh oh~~~
Remember, this is the correct attitude when facing the malice of others, being self-sufficient and not seeking outside help, instead of getting anxious like Ding Sihan, which is a sign of an incompetent small fry.
Lin Li sneered disdainfully in his heart, while outwardly he just kept eating, eating, eating.
"Sit properly, no more of this." Chen Yuying's feigned anger with a hint of a smile came from behind.
Lin Li suddenly felt that he might have the holy body of a junior schoolmate, because obviously this wasn't directed at him, but Lin Li almost straightened his back and sat properly.
I don't know, this chain was put around my neck as soon as I came in.
But it was "almost" after all.
Fortunately, fortunately, the senior schoolmate persona still won out.
"It's so itchy~"
Then the feigned anger collapsed on its own, the girl's laughter shattered into clear silver bells, the ending notes sweet as sugar.
Lin Li couldn't help but look up and back, only to see Chen Yuying kneeling by the fence. She clearly had no food in her hands anymore, but Wangcai, whom she was feeding, was still tirelessly licking Chen Yuying's hand through the fence.
Fuck, Chen Tianming!
Bro, you're here too?
Lin Li thought for a moment, put down the food in his hand, and also came to the fence.
"Lin Li, do you want to feed them too?" Hearing the sound, Chen Yuying looked up and back, found it was Lin Li, and said to him with a smile.
"No." Lin Li shook his head, then under Chen Yuying's questioning gaze, Lin Li suddenly lay on the ground, ears pressed to the ground, looking inside the fence.
"Eh..." Chen Yuying, who was stunned for a moment, asked uncertainly, "Lin Li, do you want... to be fed?"
"Lin Li, you—"
Hearing this, Ding Sihan also looked over, and after finding Lin Li on all fours, her expression was complex, but she was also eager to try.
Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)?"
Baby, although your voice is very unconfident, the fact that you would ask me this question is really heartbreaking.
What has my persona been ruined into, which damn thing caused this.
I'm really not Chen Tianming.
"No, you guys continue." Having confirmed the look in their eyes, Lin Li waved his hand, and under Chen Yuying's slightly confused gaze, returned to the picnic mat to continue eating.
"So what were you doing just now?" Chen Yuying asked.
"Listening to the voice of the earth, feeling the beauty of nature." Lin Li answered casually.
Chen Yuying tilted her head, obviously not believing it, pursed her lips slightly, but didn't ask further, turned her head and continued to play with the simp dog in the palm of her hand.
With Chen Yuying herself, she would never figure out what he was doing just now even if she racked her brains.
Lin Li chuckled, this is the disparity between people.
—He just took a look, very good, Wangcai and Laifu don't have little ding-dongs.
They are female.
Since they are female, then Lin Li had to say a motherly word, lick if you want to lick, the simp dog will have everything in the end.
If they were male.
Then Lin Li would need ten catties of lean dog meat, minced fine, without a single bit of fat, and another ten catties of all-fat dog meat, also minced fine, with no meat visible, and finally ten catties of prime dog cartilage, also minced fine, absolutely no meat shreds.
(Translator's Note: A reference to Lu Zhishen making things difficult for Butcher Zheng in "Water Margin").
We friends in the YY novel bar are like this, we even get jealous of male animal friends.
Just kidding, Lin Li was just worried that this dog was really Chen Tianming turned into a dog by a witch after offending her, and needed to lick the fingers of ten women to turn back. If it was confirmed to be true, Lin Li could lend him a hand.
Isn't there a fairy tale that goes like this.
A long, long time ago, there was a toad prince. He was cursed by a witch and had to be kissed by a princess to find happiness. Finally, a princess didn't mind his ugly appearance and hugged him and gave him a kiss.
So she turned into a toad princess, and from then on, the two toads lived happily ever after and had a litter of tadpoles.
Lin Li wouldn't mind kissing Chen Tianming if he turned into a dog, but as a human, forget it.
Because they promised the owner not to feed too much, Ding Sihan and Chen Yuying stopped after a short while. There were places for people and pets to clean up everywhere in the pet park. After washing their hands, the two returned to the picnic mat.
"I'll still sit at Bufan's table, I really can't drink alcohol, AD Calcium Milk, hooray."
After taking another sip of the RIO in her hand, although Ding Sihan didn't blush or get dizzy, she still shook her head and said with some disgust.
It seems she is also a child who doesn't like the taste of alcohol.
"Told you not to listen to me."
Lin Li sneered upon hearing this, squeezed the RIO can in his hand making a slight noise, and he, who had been drinking it all along, poured the last bit of his bottle into his mouth.
"Yingbao, I'll leave it to you, don't worry, after you get drunk, I will also protect you, and won't let you fall into Lin Li's evil clutches." Ding Sihan handed the alcohol to Chen Yuying, then said playfully.
"Mhm, pushing anyone is pushing, I will also push your butt." Boiling Sheep Lin Li performed steadily.
Chen Yuying, who was already used to this sentence, took Ding Sihan's alcohol, shook it in front of her, it was almost brand new, and then handed her own bottle to Lin Li:
"Two cans are too much for me too, Lin Li, you said it, what I can't drink, you drink."
"Then give it to me." Lin Li had no objections.
It just so happened that he felt he was still a bit short of being slightly tipsy.
Reaching out to take it, Chen Yuying wore light makeup today, so on the silver rim of the can, a faint red lip print was left on it.
"I'll go find a disposable cup for you..."
Both of their eyes focused here, Chen Yuying bit her lip and said.
Before she finished speaking, Lin Li tilted his head back and put his mouth to it, his Adam's apple rolling continuously.
Gulp, gulp.
When Lin Li put down the can, he could already tell from the sound of the liquid sloshing when the bottle shook that there wasn't much left.
"What did you say?" Lin Li only then looked at Chen Yuying, who had already stood up, and asked.
Whether he really didn't hear or pretended not to hear, Chen Yuying couldn't be bothered to expose this idiot.
"It's nothing." But there was no point in looking for a cup now, she turned her head away, her face like peach blossoms.
Although it wasn't the first time, the last time didn't have a lipstick mark after all.
Under the psychological effect, Chen Yuying felt that Lin Li's lips were a bit redder now.
What a stunner.
Pfft, what a character.
Perhaps this could be considered a true indirect kiss.
"Yingbao, your alcohol tolerance is really poor, your face got red so quickly."
Ding Sihan, who had just been burying her head and eating heartily, looked up, poked Chen Yuying's cheek, and said playfully.
Chen Yuying: "..."
Chen Yuying lowered her head and softly said "mhm".
Ding Sihan stopped playing dumb, looked at Lin Li, and playfully raised her eyebrows.
Lin Li's expression didn't change, still pretending to be serious, just briefly making a V sign next to his face and sticking out his tongue.
Baby, aren't you going to look up yet, I'm flirting with your best friend.
Yay, the cuckold has become Yingbao.
After eating almost all the food that tasted best when hot, the remaining snacks and cold dishes like braised beef were fine to eat cold, so there was no rush. The three of them cleaned up the scene and returned to the off-leash area.
Wangcai and Laifu were truly tamed, seeming to intend to follow Chen Yuying and Ding Sihan, and as soon as they came in, they immediately lined up to welcome them.
Unsociable with other dogs, seriously suspected of being dog traitors, super evil dogs, dogs among dogs, bad dogs.
—The above evaluations are all from Lin Li.
Because while these two beasts were pleasing Chen Yuying and Ding Sihan, they also bit Lin Li's trouser legs in passing, and would dodge Lin Li's petting, expressing their determination that one mountain cannot accommodate three dogs.
Seeing this, their female owner was also happy to have some free time. She herself was chatting and laughing with her friends, just waving to the three of them.
So the three of them laid out the picnic mat again under the originally chosen shade of the tree.
Lin Li put the pillow back in place and lay down comfortably.
The sunlight stroked the three o'clock afternoon like a warm cat's back, the tree shadows flowed into broken gold on his eyelids, the smell of grass mixed with residual alcohol floated at the tip of his nose.
The laughter of the girls nearby was like glass beads rolling over stream stones, interspersed with the crisp sound of dog paws crushing dead branches, when the wind brushed past his ears, it tickled slightly.
Lying on the grass wasn't comfortable, but at this moment, Lin Li felt a kind of comfort here, like finding a depression in the corner of a wall that perfectly matched his body shape.
It was really a pity that Bai Bufan and Qu Wanqiu didn't come.
Extremely comfortable, plus counting the catch-up sleep, he had only slept for more than four hours today, Lin Li felt his eyelids getting slightly heavy, and he was going to fall asleep soon.
"Why are local dogs so cute when they are young, but get uglier as they grow up."
Throwing a branch far away for Laifu to fetch, Ding Sihan muttered to herself.
"A certain environment raises a certain kind of people, Ding Sihan, think back, did your neighbors praise you for being cute when you were little."
Lin Li, who was already slightly drowsy, responded lazily upon hearing this.
"Of course they did, I was super cu—wait." Ding Sihan even took out her phone, ready to share her childhood photos.
The next second, Ding Sihan, realizing it belatedly: "(；☉_☉)?"
"Lin Li, what do you mean!!"
"Hiss—my kidney."
Rarely, you know, normally, the area where Lin Li and Ding Sihan's feet touched was pants, but today, everything was different—clothes also had this honor.
In pain, Lin Li opened his eyes and looked at Ding Sihan, who was standing beside him looking down at him, furious.
Following her slender legs up, up, and up again, Lin Li blinked: "Ding Sihan, you have a double chin."
Ding Sihan: "?!"
"Ahhhhh!"
"Lin Li, go die!"
"My kidney!!" Under the amplification of the super battle cry, this kick obliterated the kidney.
Fortunately, his cultivation hadn't reached the Core Formation stage yet, otherwise Lin Li felt his Golden Core would be shattered by a kick.
Speaking of which, how are the cultivation realms divided in Daoist Shanqing's cultivation world, is it this classic format, his own cultivation method didn't teach him Foundation Establishment either, he'd ask tonight or tomorrow when he goes to the cultivation world.
After kicking Lin Li, Ding Sihan then somewhat flusteredly pinched and held her chin with both hands, facing the black screen of her phone, seemingly wanting to look in the mirror:
"No way, no way... did I eat too much today, but I weighed myself this morning, and I didn't get heavier..."
"What are you panicking for, idiot," seeing Ding Sihan really getting a bit anxious, Lin Li said somewhat amusedly:
"Sister Ding, you lowered your head so much just now, the flesh under your jaw pushed forward, and I was looking up from an extreme angle, and is it possible that I also used exaggerated rhetoric, actually you don't have one at all, I was just scaring you, hehe."
If Zhou Baowei was like Ding Sihan just now, standing next to him looking down at him while Lin Li was lying down, then Lin Li felt he could directly see the Nine-Story Demon Tower.
It can only be said that the guy who reincarnated as a beard on Baowei is really blessed, after all, whose beard has the qualification to live in a high-rise building.
"My kidney!!"
"I spoke up for you and still got kicked, is there any justice, Ding Sihan." Hiss, hiss, Lin Li sighed helplessly, looking at Ding Sihan in front of him.
Especially since Ding Sihan was also wearing jeans today, he couldn't even see her legs.
"You deserve it." Ding Sihan sneered.
But the perspective just now really inspired Lin Li. After Ding Sihan let him off, Lin Li quickly patted the ground towards Chen Yuying, who was sitting and teasing the dog nearby, and waved:
"Psst psst, Class Rep, here, stand next to me, stand next to me."
Chen Yuying, who of course heard the conversation between Lin Li and Ding Sihan just now, immediately covered her jawline with both hands, took a half step back, and shook her head: "No."
"Please, let me take a look, just one look."
Seeing this, Lin Li slightly raised his upper body and pleaded with his hands together.
Perhaps Chen Yuying herself was also curious if she would have a so-called double chin from an extreme angle, or perhaps although Lin Li was very perfunctory, he did plead, anyway, she still abandoned Wangcai, who was playing with her, and came to Lin Li's side.
Coming back with a branch in its mouth, seeing the young lady who was prettier than its own owner go to the side of that dog-hating guy, Wangcai whimpered twice—I feel like a dog TAT.
"Is there a double ch..." Looking down, Chen Yuying was about to ask for the result, then her words paused.
—Lin Li's gaze wasn't looking at her face at all.
The lines of the calves wrapped in black over-the-knee socks were straight and smooth, the kneecaps were round and slightly protruding, the thighs showed a firm curve when walking, under the faint marks slightly indented by the edge of the socks, the skin glowed with a porcelain-like soft light in the afternoon sun, and faint blue veins were vaguely visible in the hollow of the knees.
When the skirt was lifted by the wind, the shadow of the pleated skirt swept over the edge of the safety pants, and the slightly brighter ivory white was instantly swallowed by the surging skirt again.
Can play with them for many, many years, Lin Li gave a thumbs up.
Chen Yuying: "..."
This guy's whole face was completely turned sideways, and he even gave a thumbs up, with no intention of hiding it at all.
"Lin Li, where are you looking!" Chen Yuying pressed her skirt with both hands, shyly and feigning anger, "Weren't you looking at my chin!"
His kidney was kicked again, curling up slightly, Lin Li felt he was somewhat innocent:
"Looking at legs, Class Rep, I called you over just to look at your legs.
What's there to see about a chin, my Sister Ding couldn't even see it, how could you have one.
Class Rep, I just discovered that this perspective for looking at legs is simply invincible. Just now, Ah Ding's legs looked longer than my life to me. Wouldn't it be a huge loss not to use this to look at your legs, Class Rep?
Looking at it now, indeed!"
Lin Li argued strongly, very confident.
Chen Yuying: "..."
So this was the purpose from the beginning.
But Chen Yuying then found it somewhat amusing.
Lin Li showing such a posture was actually deliberate.
He could have been more subtle, but he deliberately turned his head very sharply, and his gaze was straight, this was no longer just not hiding it, but deliberately making himself look like a pervert.
But his eyes were clear, his expression natural, and the smile on his lips was also very refreshing, in short... Chen Yuying wouldn't have any feelings of disgust at all.
Is he really coveting my legs?
Even if I wasn't wearing a skirt today, he would still play this kind of game, right?
"Class Rep, can you take off your over-the-knee socks and stand again? I can still see too little of your legs." Seeing Chen Yuying silent, Lin Li pushed his luck with a smile.
If Lin Li could hear Chen Yuying's inner voice, he would probably sigh, "Fuck baby, you really understand me, but I like playing this interactive game with you, but I'm also really coveting these legs, slurp slurp."
"No way." The hands Chen Yuying used to press her skirt turned into fists, pressing even tighter, this was the girl's entire counterattack.
Seeming to feel that her counterattack was somewhat too weak, Chen Yuying counterattacked even more weakly: "Pervert..."
"Class Rep, you misunderstood me." Lin Li's voice suddenly became serious, staring into Chen Yuying's eyes, slowly pouring out his thoughts: "Do you think I just want to look at your legs?
Wrong, completely wrong, a total mess.
What I really want to see are the roads you've walked, to see your sadness and helplessness, to see your happiness and pain, I try to understand you, see which restaurants you've been to, which cinemas you've visited, I just want to know what places you like to go...
I'm just a simple and unadorned treasure boy who wants to walk down the road with you, Class Rep."
Lin Li's content was affectionate, his voice was affectionate, his actions were affectionate, it was just that his gaze was a bit too beastly—because halfway through speaking, his gaze shifted from Chen Yuying's eyes back to her legs.
Damn it, it seems that besides glue sticks, thighs also have magnetism in this world.
Chen Yuying: "..."
Chen Yuying pursed her lips, her bright lips moist and glossy, without saying a word.
Can't do anything about him.
Maybe I'm just not good at dealing with perverts.
"And Class Rep—" Then Lin Li, lying on his side on the ground resting his head on his hand, shrugged, intending to say something Chen Yuying herself didn't seem to realize.
However, because he didn't want to hurt Ding Sihan's feelings, Lin Li paused here, first glanced at Ding Sihan who was playing with two dogs in the distance, and then continued speaking in a voice she probably couldn't hear over there:
"You asked me to look at your chin, but is it possible, Class Rep, that when you stand straight and look down, I can't see your chin at all."
Without Chen Yuying bending over, Lin Li could look at her while lying down, and could also see her beautiful nose.
But, further down, Lin Li could only see the milky white sweater, let alone the chin, he couldn't even see the mouth.
Isn't this making things difficult for people?
Chen Yuying: "..."
Eh?
"Pervert!"
Rosy clouds flew across her cheeks. When she suddenly realized why this was so, Chen Yuying suddenly hugged her chest, shouted loudly, immediately sat on the picnic mat, and glared at Lin Li angrily.
Some passersby heard the sound and looked over, but then found that it was just eighteen-year-olds flirting, smiled, sighed that it's good to be young, and focused on their own business again.
Lin Li rubbed his kidney, Chen Yuying also learned this trick, but the kick was too light, not even enough to make him shout 'my kidney'.
Lin Li really felt innocent this time.
This was a completely objective evaluation without any personal feelings.
"Pervert? What did he do again? Elaborate?" Hearing this, Ding Sihan ran back to eat melons.
Wangcai and Laifu, who came back after fetching the branches: We feel like two dogs TAT.
"Don't ask about this." Lin Li looked at Ding Sihan with kindness and care in his eyes, and his voice was rarely gentle.
Ding Sihan: "?"
What the fuck kind of ghost emotion is this.
Being looked at by Lin Li with this look made her a bit scared, getting goosebumps all over, but it also strengthened Ding Sihan's heart to know the truth, so she turned to pester Chen Yuying.
Three minutes later.
"My kidney!!!"
Satisfied and almost asleep, Lin Li suddenly woke up and screamed.
"Ding Sihan! Can you kick the other kidney! Why only kick this side!! Don't you know how to share the love?" Lin Li was angry.
"Fine, I'll satisfy you!! You flat-chested bastard!"
Ding Sihan gritted her teeth and switched to the other side, I have them too, okay, you Lin Li, a guy without them, what are you being so arrogant about!!
"I didn't mean for you to kick me again! Next time, next time!"
"There's a next time?!"
"I didn't mean there's a next time either, definitely... uh, forget it, there definitely will be a next time." Lin Li, whose tone was originally excited, suddenly became calm and certain at the end.
Ding Sihan: "?"
"I don't want to lie to you, Dingzi, can you look at the fact that I'm opening my heart to you—"
"Opening your heart? I'll rip your stomach open!"
"My other kidney!!"
"Ding Sihan, still kicking? I'm angry, I'm telling you, even when I put a screen protector on my phone there are two bubbles, but you—"
Ding Sihan: "?"
There is a monologue in "Let Me Stay By Your Side": In your life, have you ever risked your life for someone.
Ding Sihan would have said no before, but now she would say yes.
Ding Sihan decided to risk her life for Lin Li.
Of course, she was risking his life.
...
Crime scene.
Lin Li, who resurrected curled up on the ground, struggled to take out his phone—
[Will the kidney be broken if kicked, what are the effects].
[Are roasted kidneys delicious].
[Do girls stop developing at sixteen or seventeen, is it completely hopeless].
(End of Chapter)