Lin Li became a man with ruined pants.
The two of them started playing ring-around-the-rosy with Chen Yuying as the pillar. After running around for a while, ignoring Ding Sihan's barking, Lin Li asked, "Did you call a car yet?"
"Not yet." Ding Sihan was also tired of chasing, stopped and shook her head.
"Then I'll call one."
"Okay."
With permission, Lin Li walked over to a parked electric scooter nearby and punched it.
"I've been annoyed with you for a long time! Sticking out here like a sore thumb! You're an eyesore!"
"Beep—woo—beep—woo—beep beep beep beep beep!"
This punch obliterated the Great Dao, so the anti-theft alarm went off as expected.
"OK, the driver should have received the notification, let's wait for him to pick us up."
Lin Li returned to his original spot, accepting the looks from the two girls as if they were looking at an idiot, especially Ding Sihan, who suspected Lin Li was pointing at the mulberry and cursing the locust tree.
(Translator's Note: A Chinese idiom meaning to scold someone indirectly).
"What kind of car calling is this!!"
"I'll do it." Chen Yuying smiled and used her phone to call a car.
In less than five minutes, a BYD stopped in front of the four of them, very authoritative.
Remember, the flower language of BYD is—"last digits of the phone number".
There are only two kinds of cars in the world that can unconditionally enter and exit high-end venues, one is Maybach, the other is BYD, but this does not mean the two are equally noble, there is a gap between masters.
—Remember, the people Maybach can pick up, BYD can also pick up, the people Maybach can't pick up, BYD can still pick up.
Driving this car to have an affair, when someone else's husband sees his wife getting out of your car, if he's polite, he'll even say to you, "Thank you driver for your hard work, be careful on your way back."
True authority, this is word of mouth.
However, Lin Li missed Bai Bufan a bit right now.
Not that he wanted to pinch his butt, Lin Li wasn't that superficial, it was just something even a dog wouldn't pinch.
"Why don't you sit in the front?"
Opening the rear door, Ding Sihan, who was about to get in, turned her head and found Lin Li also waiting to get in behind Chen Yuying, and asked with a smile and teasing.
Lin Li: "..."
How did I get called out.
Damn Bai Bufan, if you had come, wouldn't I be able to sit in the back row openly.
Why didn't you come!
Useless thing, I'll scold him a few words on QQ later.
"You don't understand this, do you?" But facing Ding Sihan's malicious questioning, Lin Li also knew how to respond:
"Studies show that in a general five-seater sedan, the danger coefficient of the seats from high to low is: front passenger seat > driver's seat > rear seat behind front passenger > rear seat behind driver > rear middle seat."
"Tragedies of car accidents happen every day, ranging from car damage to human death. Before, there were too many of us and we had no choice. As a good man of China, I am of course willing to sacrifice myself to take this most dangerous position.
This way, if something happens, I die first, absolutely not living on in degradation.
And usually when Bai Bufan is here, I also let him sit in the front passenger seat to protect you and me. If something happens, let him die first, absolutely not living like a dog.
But now, we have a choice, our conditions have improved, Ding Sihan, yet you still want me to sit in the front passenger seat? Isn't this asking for trouble? My god, your mind is really vicious."
Ding Sihan, Chen Yuying, Driver: "?"
It was too reasonable, Lin Li felt he was simply a genius, by the end of it, he even believed it himself.
"The more I think about it, the angrier I get, Ding Sihan! How can there be such a dirty and evil person like you in the world! I really feel ashamed for you!"
The angry Lin Li wished he could reach out and poke Ding Sihan's spine.
Her heart is punishable!
Ding Sihan: "(╬~皿~)!"
"Are you sick!" Ding Sihan raised her fist and attacked Lin Li's shoulder, laughing and scolding:
"Can you not talk about such unlucky things right when we're about to get in the car! What if you jinx it!!"
The driver didn't speak, but nodded like a chicken pecking at rice.
Especially when he just realized that, according to Lin Li's logic, if there was no one in the front passenger seat, the first person to die in an accident seemed to be himself.
I don't want this kind of thing.
I'm not a dog, I want to live!!
"Taking precautions is respecting life, Ding Sihan, please don't treat our life safety as a joke." Lin Li had already taken the moral high ground and was very confident.
"Fine, for my safety, I'll sit in the safest rear middle seat, Yuying, you go in first." Ding Sihan nodded.
Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)?"
Everyone, you see, Lin Li saying Ding Sihan's mind is vicious didn't have any element of rumor-mongering.
Isn't this purely bad?
Super female, born bad seed!
"Don't be so selfish, get in there!" Not knowing how to refute verbally, Lin Li had to use brute force, reaching out to help push Ding Sihan into the car.
Then he wanted to go in and sit in the middle, but his clothes were pulled by Chen Yuying again.
"My seat, no taking."
Baby, you're also so selfish, fighting with me for the safest seat.
Chen Yuying, also bad!
Lin Li finally sat in the rear seat behind the driver, the second least safe position.
"Last digits of the phone number." After the three got in the car, the driver spoke the flower language.
Lin Li looked at the phone on the bracket in front, the pinned group chats were Xiling BYD Car Owners Club and Xiling Didi Drivers Group.
Too authoritative, one day when the car owners decide to come out for a gathering, the whole Xiling will fall into the chaos of having no cars to call.
Before Lin Li could fantasize about how terrifying that moment would be, Ding Sihan next to him leaned forward slightly to look at Lin Li, clicked her tongue twice and teased:
"Someone said it was to pay attention to safety, but after getting in the car, he didn't even fasten his seatbelt. If something really happens, you'll still be the first to die, heh, don't know where the safety went."
Lin Li: "..."
Damn, caught by this guy's weakness.
"The car hasn't even started yet, who said I'm not fastening it." Lin Li quickly took the seatbelt in front of him and inserted it into his safety buckle.
Chen Yuying, Ding Sihan: "?"
The looks in their eyes were very strange.
And the driver, who was just about to start the car, fumbled left and right for a bit, then turned his head and stared fixedly at Lin Li.
"Master, are you looking for something?" Lin Li asked politely.
"I'm looking for my three points, oh, and two hundred yuan."
The driver stared at the seatbelt that originally belonged to him, but was now stolen and inserted into the back, and said seriously word by word.
Lin Li: "(*▽*) Eh?"
"Hehe, sorry... returning it to you."
Lin Li quickly unfastened the seatbelt that didn't belong to him.
The buckles are all the same, it's not his fault for mistaking it.
It had been too long since he fastened a seatbelt in the back row.
To be honest, in Lin Li's impression, he had never fastened it once when sitting in the back row of a sedan.
Many times when Lin Li took a taxi alone, the reason he got in and sat directly in the back row was because the front passenger must fasten the seatbelt, which was too troublesome.
As for the ride-hailing app's prompt to fasten the seatbelt.
Not listening, not listening, the turtle is chanting sutras.
...
Lin Li is not Warm Yang Yang, not a jinx, and there was no car accident.
Successfully and safely arrived at Jinshui.
"When I retire in the future, I will drive out every morning, noon, and evening rush hour, and then drive super slow, going wherever there are many cars, causing traffic jams."
After getting out of the car, Lin Li made his vow.
"So bad." Chen Yuying looked at him with a smile.
"Support, call me then, you block the fast lane, I'll block the slow lane." Ding Sihan nodded, also having grievances.
The reason why the two had such evil thoughts of taking revenge on society was because although there was no car accident on the way just now, there was a traffic jam for half an hour.
Probably because there were many people on the weekend.
Can Thanos snap his fingers in a targeted manner.
However, although the traffic jam was a bit boring and dull, when driving, Lin Li really wanted to say thank you to the driver.
Perhaps because the traffic jam also made the driver unhappy, when driving, his speed was quite fast.
So every time turning left or right became a very anticipated thing.
A girl's body is indeed much softer than a boy's, the autumn clothes are just right, the softness and temperature are just right.
The annoying seatbelt, if not fastened, everything can be conveyed more clearly.
Although Lin Li's body control level is actually very high, he must have gotten carsick in the car, completely out of control, when he should fall to the right, he simply couldn't stop himself.
Damn it, still too weak, no power.
Driver, let's unite next time! Cheese sandwiched between two breads!
They didn't arrive at the pet-friendly park now, but at the entrance of a fresh food supermarket.
Going for a picnic in the afternoon, they always had to buy some food and drinks, but bringing them from Xiling seemed unnecessary, they could just buy them here.
However, the three of them did prepare things like picnic mats—the reason why Lin Li carried disposable chopsticks with him was also based on this reason.
Entering the supermarket, the three skipped the daily necessities section and went straight to the snacks and drinks section to start choosing.
"By the way, Class Rep, Little Ding, have you two ever drunk alcohol?" The shelf next to the drinks was alcohol. After glancing at it, Lin Li remembered what he saw last night and asked curiously.
"I haven't." Ding Sihan shook her head upon hearing this.
"I drank once, and got drunk." Chen Yuying said something surprising.
"Hmm? Elaborate! Which... guy!?" Ha Ji Li was a bit stressed, his fur standing on end entering the Stegosaurus form, vigilant and concerned, stepping closer to ask.
"It's nothing, my mom got me drunk. It's just that she might think blocking is worse than guiding. Both she and my dad have the habit of drinking. If it was completely forbidden, she was afraid I would be rebellious and curious, so during the Chinese New Year this year, she let me drink with her, and ended up getting me drunk.
The next day she told me that my alcohol tolerance is quite poor, about fifty or sixty milliliters of alcohol will make me dizzy enough to affect my judgment, and less than a hundred milliliters will make me drunk. She told me that if I want to drink in the future, I must pay attention to these two numbers.
She also said that when I turn eighteen, she will find me to drink like this again, so that I will have a scale in my heart in the future."
Chen Yuying didn't hide anything, told the experience of getting drunk, and then shook her head:
"But I think alcohol doesn't taste good, and the day after getting drunk, it's really too uncomfortable, so up to now I've only drunk that one time.
I even suspect my mom deliberately picked bad-tasting alcohol, and deliberately wanted to make me uncomfortable, humph."
"I think Auntie's idea is just like that." Ding Sihan nodded upon hearing this.
Obviously, it was also her first time hearing Chen Yuying say this, after all, there was no record of alcohol in the birthday present given to Lin Li.
Go back and add it.
"So that's how it is." Hearing that this was the case, Lin Li was relieved.
Fortunately, I said "guy" just now and didn't swear, phew—
Then Lin Li took out his phone, typing cracklingly while deliberately letting out a dark whisper: "One hundred milliliters of alcohol, is it, good good good, noted, another day I'll find a way to make you drink it all..."
Before he could finish being dark, he was pushed by Chen Yuying behind him, interrupting him.
"Lin Li, starting today I won't drink any beverage you hand me." Chen Yuying said with a smile.
"Really?" Lin Li didn't believe it.
"Do you want to drink alcohol later?" Chen Yuying didn't answer, but asked back.
"My alcohol tolerance is average, but I don't really 'know' how to drink—I'm not used to beer or foreign liquor, I only know how to drink a little cocktail mixed with beverages. Drinking a bottle, getting slightly tipsy and sitting in the park blowing the wind is still very comfortable."
Lin Li explained.
Infrequent drinking of a small amount of alcohol is indeed slightly beneficial to the body.
The feeling of being slightly tipsy is also really good.
As for getting drunk and throwing up, it undoubtedly hurts the body and is uncomfortable, there's no need.
Before activating the system, Lin Li's alcohol tolerance was below average. As for now, after such a big change in his body, Lin Li himself didn't know how his alcohol tolerance was, he hadn't studied it.
After taking a bottle of strong RIO from the shelf and throwing it into the basket in his hand, Lin Li turned around and asked:
"Class Rep, do you want a bottle? You can drink this kind, it's only 3%, even if you drink a full bottle it's only ten milliliters of alcohol intake, you definitely won't get drunk, it tastes like a beverage, doesn't have much alcohol taste, if you don't like it, I can drink the rest."
"Sure." Since Lin Li wanted to drink, Chen Yuying nodded.
"Peach flavor?" Casually taking another flavor from the shelf, Lin Li asked.
"Okay."
"Give me give me give me a bottle too." Ding Sihan next to them raised her hand and requested.
"Little kids who haven't drunk alcohol sit at Bufan's table, no drinking allowed." Lin Li sneered upon hearing this, didn't take it, but took a row of AD Calcium Milk:
"Who knows if you're the type who gets drunk at the touch of alcohol, what if you take a sip and start acting crazy.
Little Ding, listen to your dad's advice, drink this Wahaha AD Calcium Milk, it's more suitable for your Chinese baby physique."
Speaking of which, Lin Li really wanted to complain about some retarded milk powder commercials.
What New Zealand milk source, EU certification, European pasture, US quality inspection, after stacking these BUFFs, they add a sentence "more suitable for Chinese baby physique".
Suitable for your mom.
Ding Sihan: "..."
"No! I just want to drink alcohol!" Ding Sihan walked to Lin Li's side, took down a can of RIO, and threw it into Lin Li's basket.
Lin Li just let her be.
He would observe Ding Sihan's reaction after taking a sip later, if she was a bit dizzy, he would just stop her quickly.
There are indeed people who can get completely drunk on one bottle of RIO, but it's still relatively rare.
Ding Sihan probably wouldn't go that far either.
"But Ding Sihan, you'd better pray you don't get drunk, otherwise my pants might not still be worn on my body." Lin Li patted his waistband and threatened, "I'm a slut, remember that."
"Humph, Yingbao will protect me." Ding Sihan ran behind Chen Yuying and hugged her.
"Heh, still protecting? When your Yingbao pushes my butt from behind, you'll be honest." Lin Li sneered.
Chen Yuying, Ding Sihan: "?"
"..."
"..."
"Ahhhhh! I can't take it anymore!"
Ding Sihan and Chen Yuying were stunned for a while after hearing this, not reacting. Then Ding Sihan started with a battle cry, came behind Lin Li, and used the basket in her hand to smash Lin Li's back neither lightly nor heavily.
"Lin Li!! You're really hopeless! What exactly is filled in your brain!"
"What do you mean what's filled in my brain, this is a fact." Lin Li disdainfully dodged Ding Sihan's attack, looking expectantly at Chen Yuying:
"Class Rep, come on, tell Ding Sihan loudly, when the time comes, will you protect her, or push my butt."
Chen Yuying: "..."
Chen Yuying lowered her head and sighed deeply.
Although she sighed, there was a smile in her breath.
However.
No matter how much she favored him, she couldn't possibly push his butt.
So Chen Yuying came behind Ding Sihan, rested her chin on Ding Sihan's shoulder, smiled and spat out the answer to Lin Li: "Protect Sihan."
"Love you baby, mwah, Yingbao is the best."
Ding Sihan and Chen Yuying were quite affectionate, Lin Li felt he was cuckolded.
Streamer, streamer, your happiness link said buy one get three free, but you fucking didn't mean buy one and send me a mistress.
Fuck, fuck.
Fuck your mom, refund!
"Hmm? Lin Li, anything else to say?" Looking at the dejected Lin Li, the blonde Ding Sihan stuck close to Chen Yuying committing a crime in front of him, while taunting him to his face.
The pure love warrior Lin Li had his last stubbornness, Yingbao must have her difficulties.
It was just that the blonde Old Ding had something on her to threaten her.
She has me in her heart.
"Let me push your butt then, okay." After figuring this out, Lin Li spoke with relief.
Let me participate, I beg you.
Chen Yuying, Ding Sihan: "?"
"Dead pervert!"
"Living hooligan..." Chen Yuying, whose word was stolen, had to change her words.
"Hehe."
There must be drinks sold in the park, but they would be more expensive. Bringing too many would be heavy, so he still took the AD Calcium Milk, and then went to the snack section.
"Lin Li, do you eat Mi Lao Tou?" Ding Sihan asked.
(Translator's Note: Mi Lao Tou is a brand of puffed rice snacks).
"Anything is fine." Lin Li answered indifferently.
"Okay," Ding Sihan nodded, then shouted to Chen Yuying: "Yingbao, Lin Li is obsessed with old men! What should we do"
Chen Yuying, Lin Li: "?"
You're still holding Mi Lao Tou in your hand, hey?
"Wait a minute, Dingzi, let's rewind time, you ask again."
"Okay, Lin Li, do you eat Mi Lao Tou?" Ding Sihan nodded, very cooperative.
"I'm not obsessed with old men, at this stage I like sixteen or seventeen-year-old pretty, youthful, and energetic girls." Lin Li responded seriously.
"I didn't ask you to eat this Mi Lao Tou!!"
Lin Li accurately caught the Mi Lao Tou Ding Sihan threw at his head, shook his head, and threw it into the basket.
Making up questions based on the answers, Ding Sihan is like this, a three-dimensional all-around attack.
The biggest use of the [Empty-Handed Blade Catching] ability is to look cool at times like this.
"Want to sneak attack me, practice for another hundred years, useless thing." Lin Li could only chuckle.
"Hehe."
They didn't buy too many snacks, mostly potato chips and other snacks that don't fill the stomach but satisfy cravings. The three then moved to the supermarket's deli section.
Things meant to fill the stomach are naturally best hot.
"Half a roast chicken, half a roast duck, anyway Lin Li has a big appetite."
"I'm not Zhou Baowei, show some respect."
"Let's get a box of mixed braised food."
"There's actually raw food in the deli section, a sashimi platter, Yingbao, do you eat it."
"Sure."
"Then let's get a box."
"What about me? Ask me! Ding Sihan! You fucking value women over men!"
"So what."
"Creepy girl!"
"So what."
"..."
The three ordered in the deli section for a while, then felt it was about enough, and asked the staff to pack it for them.
"Where's Lin Li? Why did he disappear?"
Ding Sihan suddenly realized Lin Li wasn't beside her, looked around, still didn't see him, and asked in confusion.
Chen Yuying sighed, pointed not far away and shook her head: "He's over there."
Ding Sihan looked over, then fell silent.
Lin Li was next to the rice display cabinet, enjoying himself using a big shovel to scoop up the rice inside and pour it back down, holding a supermarket bag in his hand, seemingly pretending to be a customer who really intended to buy rice, but actually playing with the rice.
Ding Sihan: "..."
"Lin Li, what are you doing?" Ding Sihan and Chen Yuying walked over carrying the things and asked.
"Playing with rice."
Lin Li said matter-of-factly.
Good kids don't play with rice.
But Lin Li is not a good kid, Genshin Impact, launch!
"What's so fun about this?"
"This isn't fun? The rustling sound when shoveling rice, the feeling of the particles flowing is as stress-relieving as ASMR, controlling the flow of rice also gives a sense of control, besides, the touch of the rice is cool and smooth, how satisfying..."
Lin Li immediately recommended it, even wanting Ding Sihan to try it.
But Ding Sihan didn't even finish listening, pulled Chen Yuying and left, shaking her head as she walked: "Let's go, let's go pay, ignore this idiot."
Chen Yuying turned her head and smiled, giving Lin Li a look to follow.
Lin Li sighed.
Ding Sihan's voice was a bit particularly, particularly, particularly sharp (choking back sobs), actually belittling playing with rice to nothing, hateful.
Lin Li had to put down his beloved little shovel and follow to pay.
After paying, the three walked out of the supermarket.
Lin Li looked at the receipt in his hand, shook his head and sighed:
"Money is really becoming less and less valuable now.
In the past, two yuan could buy a dozen candies, two ice creams, a box of pens, a box of spicy strips, and a bag of figs. Now two hundred yuan only bought these things."
"It's okay, we bought quite a lot, and what era's prices are you talking about, two yuan could actually buy so many things?" Ding Sihan thought it was a normal price, shrugged, and spoke in surprise.
Lin Li: "It has nothing to do with prices, it's just that surveillance cameras weren't widespread back then."
Ding Sihan, Chen Yuying: "?"
(End of Chapter)