To be honest, Lin Li's initial idea when he came here was to find wild criminals and bring them to justice.
It was only because he couldn't find any that he had to settle for the next best thing and choose domestic criminals.
Now that he finally encountered one, Lin Li was inevitably a bit excited.
But he couldn't rush, even though the situation was urgent now.
Because without confirming the specific situation, speaking out rashly might easily cause secondary harm to the victim.
Lin Li could guarantee that ordinary criminals couldn't hurt him, but he couldn't guarantee the safety of the 'hostage'.
Therefore, Lin Li quickly closed in, then moved along the brick wall, holding his breath and concentrating, peeking half an eye out from the corner.
In the dim alley, there was only a man and a woman.
The man wasn't tall, but very fat, enough to cover the woman, his shadow completely enveloping her. At this moment, one of his hands clamped the woman's two wrists raised above her head, and the other hand first propped against the brick wall beside her ear, then wandered over the woman's body, starting to grope.
The woman's face was also covered with a black blindfold, which seemed to make her even more panicked, her voice even more miserable:
"Please... not here..."
The woman's crying plea was cut off by the sound of tearing fabric. Her constantly kicking legs knocked over a rusty trash can, and the rolling cans made a clear, crisp sound.
A strong smell of alcohol permeated the air. This man seemed to have drunk a lot and was probably blinded by alcohol.
The situation was confirmed, ready to strike.
Lin Li's figure appeared, still avoiding making any sound as much as possible, walking silently and quickly rushing towards the man.
When the man realized that the light in the alley seemed to be blocked by something and looked towards the entrance of the alley, he didn't see the entrance, only an enlarged fist.
"Ouch!"
Taking a punch to the face, the man let out a miserable scream and was tackled to the ground by Lin Li.
What greeted the man next were Lin Li's continuous fists.
There is also a chain of contempt among criminals. Criminals who traffic women and children are at the bottom, and rapists are second only to this type of criminal, also at the bottom.
After all, this type of criminal is like putting anesthetic in the nose; if the nose isn't itchy, it's not numb.
(Translator's Note: A pun on "ma bi" (numb nose) and "ma bi" (motherfucker)).
It's purely disgusting, sickeningly bad, so Lin Li didn't hold back when he started hitting.
Of course, he still pulled his punches significantly, after all, not pulling them would really beat someone to death.
Lin Li cursed while hitting:
"Rapist!"
"Useless trash!"
"Motherfucker!"
The man on the ground tried to speak several times, but wanting to speak was his active request, and stopping was the result of being beaten.
He couldn't say a single word while being beaten.
The woman behind, seeing that there was no follow-up for a long time and the man was wailing, reached out in confusion and took off the blindfold.
Also having drunk alcohol, she rubbed her eyes. After seeing the scene in front of her clearly, she sobered up for the most part and hurriedly stepped forward to stop Lin Li:
"Oh my, what are you doing, stop hitting, stop hitting!"
Hearing this, Lin Li subconsciously looked back. After seeing the woman's face and figure clearly after the blindfold was taken off, he was startled, and then became even angrier, turning back to continue punching.
His mouth still didn't stop, but the content changed:
"You're so not picky!"
"You can eat anything!"
"Eat, eat, eat, are you fucking Zhou Baowei!"
His beautiful story of a hero saving a beauty had now become a beautiful story of a hero saving an ugly person.
Woman: "?"
"He's not a rapist! He's not a rapist! He's my friend!"
But the woman had no time to argue about this now. She shouted anxiously, afraid that her fuck buddy would be beaten to death.
When Lin Li realized what he heard: "Ah?"
Stopping, Lin Li turned his head and stared at the woman: "You... know each other?"
"Of course, he is..." The woman was about to nod, then after seeing Lin Li's face clearly under the moonlight, she couldn't help but look a bit infatuated, then shook her head somewhat coyly: "Actually, we can also not know each other, little brother~"
The man, whose face was swollen like a little Zhou Baowei, sat up in shock while dying: "(；☉_☉)?"
Sister? Ah? Now is not the time for you to not know each other.
I'm fucking going to be beaten to death!
A fuck buddy is also a buddy, we know each other! Let's get to know each other!
Although the woman denied it, Lin Li's expression had become complex. Having almost realized the rough truth of the matter, he only felt speechless and unlucky.
Therefore, Lin Li got up from the man, frowned tightly, and confirmed for the last time: "So you guys are... roleplaying?"
"Yes, little brother, I like this kind of interesting gameplay the most."
The woman nodded upon hearing this, the lust in her eyes almost stringing together.
Lin Li: "..."
Fuck, it really is like this. The task progress that was already in hand just flew away like this.
Boring.
"Do you want to try it with me, little brother."
But what the woman wanted to say was more than that. She reached out one hand to grab the corner of Lin Li's clothes, and with the other hand, she continued to pull down the clothes that the bro on the ground had already half-pulled off, trying to seduce Lin Li.
If anyone has read "The Three-Body Problem", they should be very impressed by Da Liu's Dark Forest theory.
According to unofficial history, the original text of "The Three-Body Problem" is roughly like this—
"Luo Ji's high school grades were not ideal, but they were enough to get him into a nearby private high school."
"In order to make studying convenient during school, he boarded at the house of Aunt Ye Wenjie, who had two beautiful daughters and a dead husband."
"..."
"'Auntie, you don't want the matter of Trisolaris to be known by others, do you?'"
"'Little Ji, you finally understand what deterrence is. Auntie should show you the Dark Forest.'"
This is a great mountain of science fiction! The breathtaking Dark Forest!
And at this moment, with the woman's coquettishness, the Dark Forest in the universe appeared before Lin Li's eyes.
"Little brother, I want to be your monitor, is that okay? That way you can set my resolution however you want~" The woman pinched her voice and said enchantingly to Lin Li, "Brother, you boys should know computers, do you like internal settings or external settings?"
(Translator's Note: "Nei she" (internal settings) and "wai she" (external settings) are puns for internal and external ejaculation).
Lin Li: "?"
Perhaps it was a psychological effect, Lin Li's face twisted, his body leaned back extremely, feeling it was stinky.
Lin Li immediately pulled his clothes out of the woman's hand. Fuck, I must wash it well when I go back. Who dares to imagine how many viruses are on it.
"Bro, get up, you guys continue, I won't disturb you, you play yours."
Lin Li dodged the somewhat tipsy woman's pounce again, turned his head to look at the man getting up on the ground, and said.
Lin Li wanted to turn around and leave, but his bicycle was still inside the alley, and he needed the man to get up and make way before he could ride out.
Moreover, Lin Li's disgust for this man was almost gone now.
Bro, if you can even eat this, you will succeed in whatever you do in this life.
However, after Lin Li saw this bro clearly, he discovered for the first time that the phrase "having the old above and the young below" could actually be used to describe a person's appearance.
"...Mhm."
The man, who was beaten up for no reason, just got up, put on his pants, and nodded, without arguing with Lin Li about the beating he took.
Mainly because the man had already personally experienced Lin Li's strength. The man didn't even dare to speak loudly to Lin Li now.
Settling it privately had no deterrent effect on Lin Li, and if he coerced Lin Li to settle it publicly, not only would it look bad, but he and the woman were actually in the wrong, so they might not necessarily get compensation.
It was better to just let it go and consider himself unlucky.
"Oh my, don't not disturb us, little brother, stay, let's play together, the three of us play together!"
Hearing this, the woman became a bit anxious. She staggered over, then threw herself into the man's arms, poked her head out from the side to look at Lin Li who was unlocking his bicycle, chuckled foolishly, and said:
"I'm a primary school teacher, but I forgot to bring my tableware recently. I really need you, little brother, to send a fork to my primary school, brother, brother~"
(Translator's Note: "Ji ba cha" (send a fork) sounds like "ji ba cha" (dick inserting)).
"Come play~ Oops, it's okay, there won't be any warts, the probability is zero~"
(Translator's Note: "Ai ya, mei guan xi, bu hui you shi de, gai lü wei ling" (Oops, it's okay, there won't be any issues, the probability is zero) sounds like "AIDS, syphilis, genital warts, gonorrhea").
Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)?"
Your mom.
This authentic big fat pig almost disgusted Lin Li to death.
Lin Li had read tomb-raiding novels, this was a tomb ditch.
Lin Li, who originally planned to return the way he came in, forcefully decided to push the bike directly to the other end.
He would rather take a detour this way than bicker with these two guys and get a centimeter closer.
Getting on the bike, before Lin Li rode away, he only left one sentence for the woman:
"Madam, for a female soldier like you who participated in World War II, I only have awe in my heart, absolutely no blasphemous feelings. You guys just play by yourselves, farewell."
No matter how the woman shouted, Lin Li didn't look back until he disappeared at the corner at the end of the alley.
"An idiot who doesn't know how to enjoy blessings!" The woman stomped her foot.
Zhou Baowei's house experienced a severe tremor.
"And what World War II? During World War II, I wasn't even born yet, I'm very young!" The woman frowned and muttered.
The man rubbed his swollen cheeks, thought for a while upon hearing this, and explained to the woman:
"He probably meant you were fucked too fiercely by the Japanese and Germans, he looks down on your type."
(Translator's Note: "Ri de" (fucked) sounds like "Ri De" (Japan and Germany)).
Woman: "(；☉_☉)?"
"Hateful creepy guy! Damn it! Serves him right not getting me!"
"Forget it, brother, let's continue. After your face became like this, you match me even better."
"Okay..." After expelling Lin Li from the woman's heart, the man was satisfied.
Putting in heart might not get a response, but putting in effort will definitely have an echo.
Lin Li perhaps shouldn't have ignored this woman.
Because in this dark but echo-filled alley, the gold content of this woman was constantly rising.
...
Sunday evening.
Five-fifty, evening self-study was about to begin.
Lin Li, who had studied for another day, had just finished eating with Chen Yuying and the others at the school gate.
So they walked into the school gate together and headed to the classroom.
Lin Li and Ding Sihan walked in front, whispering, discussing how Lin Li should torture Chen Yuying if he won the bet.
The reason for Lin Li's confidence was none other than that he and Chen Yuying both did a test paper in the afternoon, both got full marks, but Lin Li finished two minutes faster.
Lin Li showed off for a long time because of this, and had already begun to imagine the future.
Of course, doing so also came with a price.
"Two-minute fast man Lin Li, come on, you must punish Yingbao well." Ding Sihan said to Lin Li expectantly.
"I will try my best, Dingzi, but can you remove this redundant title."
"No, two-minute fast man Lin Li."
"Damn it, you will pay the price for this sooner or later."
"Tch."
Approaching the classroom door, Bai Bufan's voice came out.
"According to unofficial history, the fundamental reason why the State of Shu was the first to perish was that the State of Wu and the State of Wei formed an alliance and signed the Wu-Wei Contract.
"It's really despicable, playing dirty when you can't win. So, for the beloved Zhuge Liang and so many fierce generals of the State of Shu, for true fairness and justice, we modern people must, must boycott the Wu-Wei Contract!
"Wu-Wei Contract, not even a dog would play it!"
(Translator's Note: "Wu Wei Qi Yue" (Wu-Wei Contract) sounds like "Wu Wei Qi Yue" (Unbound: Worlds Apart), a video game).
"Senior Go's move is too insidious."
"Three Kingdoms unofficial history should be a pure land, it shouldn't be mixed with personal goods, Bufan! Unsubscribe! TD!"
Although the midterm exams were in a few days, and evening self-study was about to begin, the boys, as usual, huddled in the back row, leaning against the lockers chatting and gossiping.
Noticing Lin Li coming in, Bai Bufan pointed to Lin Li's drawer and said:
"Lin Li, I've already put the ID card in your drawer. I didn't even stay until eight o'clock, I went back a little after six. The money on the card isn't used up, seems there's still sixty or seventy, don't waste it."
The overnight period for that internet cafe was from midnight to eight o'clock.
"OK."
Lin Li nodded, returned to his seat, put his things down, and then came to their side.
"Bufan, how is it, did you beat 'Sekiro'?" Lin Li asked some heart-to-heart questions as soon as he came up.
"Beat it." Hearing this, Bai Bufan sneered disdainfully.
"Really? With your level last night, you could beat 'Sekiro' in one night?" Different from the expected result, Lin Li expressed doubt.
"People lack understanding of things beyond their own strength," Bai Bufan looked at Lin Li with a smile, but then said: "I successfully figured it out, I can't beat it."
(Translator's Note: "Tong" means both "beat/clear a game" and "figure out").
Lin Li: "..."
"You fucking figuring it out also counts as beating it, right?"
"Isn't it all 'tong', it's the same." Bai Bufan felt there was no problem.
"Can't even beat 'Sekiro', useless thing. By the way, Lin Li," after mocking Bai Bufan, Wang Ze asked curiously: "Bufan said you also went to the driving school this weekend, have you already started taking the driver's license test?"
"Mhm, striving to get the driver's license this year." Lin Li nodded.
"Can you give me a ride then?"
"I don't drive hearses, I think it's bad luck." Lin Li shook his head.
Wang Ze: "?"
"You motherfucker!"
"Ride, ride, ride, we'll talk about it when there's a chance. Even if I get my driver's license, I still have to steal my mom's car." Lin Li said with a smile.
"So nice, I feel like driving is really cool. My dream in this life is to drive a Maybach on an elevated highway on a stormy night, maxing out the throttle and the volume of the car stereo." Wang Ze sighed.
"You don't think driving is cool, you just think the Maybach is cool. If you drive an old man's scooter on an elevated highway on a stormy night, maxing out the throttle and the volume of the car stereo, you'll be honest." Lin Li despised.
"Dragon Raja" is really the best advertisement for Maybach among ordinary young people.
Wang Ze: "..."
It really is.
"Hey, what do you guys think..." Bai Bufan, who was listening on the side, suddenly had a thought and said slowly:
"If Chu Tianjiao wasn't driving a Maybach that night, nor an old man's scooter, but a Dayun Hundred-Ton King, loaded with steel coils in the back, would that night still be Chu Zihang's unforgettable sad memory?"
The boys in the back row widened their eyes upon hearing this and fell silent.
"..."
"..."
Lin Li's voice suddenly appeared:
"The rainstorm smashed against the windows of the Hundred-Ton King, the wipers swung frantically but couldn't sweep away the thick fog.
"Outside the window, countless pairs of golden eyes lit up in the darkness, but Chu Tianjiao held the steering wheel with one hand and smoked a Furongwang with the other.
"The moment the eight-legged heavenly steed appeared in front of him, Chu Tianjiao pressed the burnt-out Furongwang into the cap of a Dongpeng Special Drink, and shouted 'fasten your seatbelt' to Chu Zihang in the rearview mirror.
"The roar of the twelve-cylinder diesel engine drowned out the thunder. When the sixteen tires rolled over the asphalt road, the domain of the gods began to tremble.
"Chu Tianjiao's Time Zero Kotodama activated, the reinforced manganese steel bumper of the Hundred-Ton King met Gungnir head-on..."
"Fuck!! Stop fucking reading!"
Before Lin Li could finish his deep narration, the boys completely lost it.
The cool image in their minds was completely ruined now.
Remember, without the assistance of any Kotodama, the impact of a Hundred-Ton King is equivalent to Odin having to withstand 22 Golden Cudgels.
And Time Zero: The releaser constructs a domain centered on themselves. Within the domain, the flow of time slows down, while they can still move at normal speed. Therefore, to outsiders, their speed has increased several times or even dozens of times.
Chu Tianjiao belongs to the dozens of times magnitude.
—Odin is finished.
"Chu Tianjiao first found that the comer had ill intentions, then found that he himself was the comer." Wang Ze commented sharply:
"Chu Tianjiao drew Murasame, pushed open the car door, stepped into the rain, and said coldly 'Run! Don't look back!'. Hearing this, Chu Zihang prepared to run away with tears in his eyes. Hearing the footsteps, Chu Tianjiao turned his head and looked at his silly son with a confused face—'Chu Zihang, what the fuck are you running for, I told Odin to run'."
"To be honest, being able to drive a Maybach onto the elevated highway shows that this person has strength, but being able to fucking drive a Hundred-Ton King onto the elevated highway shows that this person has power!" Zhou Baowei also smiled and gave a thumbs up.
"So you mean, Chu Tianjiao also drove a Hundred-Ton King to pick up Chu Zihang from school? And it was fucking raining? Is this something a human would do? One slip, and Shilan High School would be half gone, right?"
Qin Zeyu, who was originally sitting in his seat, couldn't help but turn his head to confirm upon hearing this discussion.
"After Chu Tianjiao hit Odin and got off the elevated highway, he took out his phone and posted a video on TikTok: We are all living hard~"
Thinking of this scene, Wang Ze started laughing convulsively again.
"No, no, no, the complete one should be 'I thought it was a speed bump', 'Go tell Kassel College', 'Odin rushed out of the green belt himself', 'It's not easy to make a living', and then—We are all living hard~"
Lin Li corrected Wang Ze's speech.
"If it was really written like this, it would be great. From then on, Erii would no longer be the flattest character in 'Dragon Raja', how great would that be." Bai Bufan sighed softly.
The laughter and joy instantly fell silent.
Everyone in the back row suddenly turned their heads and stared at Bai Bufan, even keeping the smiling expressions they had just now, only now without the mirth.
Bai Bufan blinked and swallowed a mouthful of saliva.
He didn't know if Odin would be hit by the Hundred-Ton King, but it seemed he was about to be hit.
"Guys, children's words carry no harm, considering I'm still a child..."
When Xue Jian walked into the classroom, he saw Lin Li and the others in the back row beating the child's shit out of Bai Bufan.
"Alright, alright! Stop playing around! Evening self-study has already started and you don't even know, get back to your seats."
After watching for a while and finding that Bai Bufan couldn't be beaten to death, Xue Jian clapped his hands and scolded.
"Continue after class."
Leaving a death sentence, the boys then returned to their respective seats.
"Exams are coming up soon," sitting at the podium desk, Xue Jian still had to act like a homeroom teacher, so he reprimanded:
"Improve by one point, eliminate a thousand people. You must know, as long as you write at your desk for an extra half hour at night, you can eliminate hundreds of people in the whole province."
Hearing this, Lin Li was stunned for a moment, looked at Bai Bufan, lowered his voice and asked:
"Fuck, are we Light Yagami? Even the Death Note isn't this efficient, right?"
Bai Bufan: "(；☉_☉)?"
(End of Chapter)