“You’re my lover, Viola...” Phil muttered, sounding like he was pouting as he buried his face against my shoulder. His reaction was so cute that I gently ran my fingers through his soft hair. A warm, fuzzy feeling settled in my heart upon hearing him refer to me as his lover rather than his fiancée.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you were so unhappy about this.”
Though the marchioness was determined to have me be the goddess, there were so many volunteers now thanks to the Lord Tillet Effect. There was the chance that if we all went to try and convince her, she’d let someone else take the role from me. In any case, it seemed that Phil’s biggest issue was with the dance so I told him that it was no big deal. I would simply be holding hands with Lord Tillet for a little bit. But it seemed that Phil placed a lot of importance on holding hands because he stared at me like his world was ending.
“I’m not very quick on the uptake, so if I do something you don’t like, please just tell me,” I said.
I didn’t realize that character flaw by myself. Thanks to the fact that I didn’t notice Phil’s feelings for me despite all the years we’d spent together, a lot of people around me told me that I was a little obtuse. It was something I wanted to work on for the future.
However, Phil hesitated before he said, “I’m scared that you’ll think I’m annoying to deal with. I don’t think I’ve been doing a good job of trying to fix that part of me.”
“Oh, of course I’d never think that. I’m more scared that you’ll start to dislike me if you keep your frustrations bottled up.”
“I’d never hate you.”
I giggled a little at the slightly angry look in Phil’s eyes. “Will you really never hate me no matter what I do?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Even if I eat what’s yours without permission?”
“I’ll make sure we always eat the same food.”
“What if I break one of your valuables?”
“There’s nothing more valuable than you.”
I was scared that he really wouldn’t get angry at me no matter what I did. I’d never do something to make Phil angry or upset on purpose, but I wanted him to tell me off if I was at fault. But when I told him that, he simply replied that he would give it a try next time. It didn’t sound like he actually would.
“The only reason I accepted the goddess role in the first place is because I heard that if I do a good job at it, it’ll improve my standing in high society.”
After I told him that, Phil’s eyes widened for a moment. He must’ve realized why I cared about my reputation with the other nobles. Though Phil was far more obtuse than me when it came to matters of love, he was very perceptive when it came to these kinds of things.
“Sorry... I’m going to hide myself in a hole now...” he said in a voice so quiet I could hardly make out the words. “You did all that for me, yet my own selfishness was all I could focus on.”
“That’s not true. I’m happy that you were jealous of me.”
Phil looked like he was actually starting to get dejected so I patted him on the head, only for him to mutter, “You’re making it worse by being so nice to me.”
“Phil, you’ve been putting in a lot of hard work ever since you were a kid, right? Now it’s finally my turn to pull my weight.”
Upon hearing me say that, he slowly raised his head to look at me. As the future Duke Lawrenson, Phil must have received an education far stricter than mine. He had been born with a plethora of talents, but I knew that Phil put in a lot of time and effort in studying as well.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to do so,” I said. “I won’t cause you any worry, so could you watch over me?”
His face twisted slightly as if he was fighting back emotions and nodded. In the past, Phil would only take me to the bare minimum of social gatherings, and would always head home right after greeting people at the party. I’d heard that wasn’t how Phil acted when he was alone, so I had been under the impression he was embarrassed about how I was inferior to him in every single way. But now, I realized that he must’ve been doing his best to keep up appearances while alleviating the pressure from me, since he knew that I didn’t enjoy going out to parties.
“I’m not very reliable yet as your fiancée. But I’m going to get better.”
“Thank you.” The inner corners of Phil’s eyebrows raised slightly and he smiled as if at a loss before he hugged me again.
“Just why do you like me so much?”
I could sense how much Phil thought about me. It was to the point that I could no longer understand how I missed these signs in the past.
“You could slice off all my fingers and kill me in the most sadistic manner, and I still probably couldn’t hate you.”
“Is that what you think of me?”
If your fiancée is a crazy murderer, I actually think you should hate them. Seconds ago, I was so touched but now I’m not sure. It was scary how strong his love for me was.
“In any case, that’s how much I love you,” he concluded.
“I love you too... But my feelings for you are probably about half of your feelings for me.”
I must like him a lot too because what he said just now made my heart skip a beat. I definitely didn’t want him to kill me or anything though.
“That’s more than enough,” Phil said, smiling softly at my words before he tightened his arms around my body.