The room was dim. A poster pinned to the white wall depicted some pop star singing a rock ’n’ roll tune. The bed stood in the corner, and Mitsuki sat on it, hugging his knees to his chest.
That was when the girl came to visit him again. It was the girl in white, and she seemed to have appeared from out of the air. Floating there, she gazed down at him. It was as if she had come to make sure that he was going to die.
“What did you come here for?” Mitsuki asked.
“I came to see you.” She spoke as if responding to a polite request. He, in turn, sounded like a creep.
“How are you?” Again she was asking strange things.
Why would you ask someone who was going to die how they’re doing? Jeez.
“I’m… so-so,” he said aloud.
She replied in her adult way, “Really? You don’t look that way to me.”
Then don’t ask, he thought. But he didn’t say anything.
The black cat at her side hopped down and landed by Mitsuki’s feet. The bat-like wings, which he apparently could use to fly, folded themselves away.
The cat said, perfectly intelligibly, “What’s up with you? We went through the trouble of coming all the way here. What’s with the attitude?” He fixed his large golden eyes on the boy.
The girl restrained the cat. “Daniel, don’t say that.”
“But…” the cat insisted. “You came all the way to see him, Momo, and this stupid punk…”
“Like I said,” the girl answered. “Don’t say things like that. Look, he’s depressed, this boy. Because he knows he’s going to die.” The girl smiled, an uncanny expression.
What? So they came to laugh at me. After all, she’s a shinigami. They’re not even real. And by the looks of her, she’s even more of a kid than me, wearing that one-piece dress and red shoes. She looks just like a little kid.
Actually, that might be true. It was better to have a truth that was like a lie, than to be in this world of lies dressed up as the truth.
“So,” he said aloud, “you came to claim me already?”
The little girl shook her head. The black cat imitated her, and the unusually large bell attached to the cat’s collar tinkled.
“That’s still a bit further ahead,” the girl explained. “You have a bit more time.”
She spoke as if saying those words amused her. But to Mitsuki, it didn’t sound the least bit amusing. Her voice was lively, but one got the impression she was trying too hard to sound lively. He wondered about it and looked away, but then he remembered that he only had a bit of time left, so he decided not to care.
Knowing he still had time, he felt a little relieved. He could go to the pool again and look at the stars. He could swim in that universe. That was all he needed. Finally, he could go there.
Although he had already done it a couple of times before, now he had a place that was precious to him.
Just a little more time. No one had to take his place anymore. No one had to get hurt in his stead. And no one needed to… die in place of him.
“Hmm,” the girl said, “that’s not quite right.”
For the first time he looked up, startled by her voice. “What…?”
“You seem to think somebody gets hurt in your place and then dies in your place. But I don’t think that’s quite accurate.”
With a flutter, she turned and approached him. She put her face close to his. So close that he felt her breath on his face, saw her transparent white skin, and could even almost feel the warmth of her little body.
“They didn’t take your place,” she explained. “It was their… destiny. Nobody can take somebody else’s place. The only person who could take a person’s place is that person himself. And only you can take your own place. You can only be yourself. You are you. The only one…”
“Then how am I going to die?” he asked. He didn’t want to involve anyone else.
“I can’t tell you that,” she shot back quickly.
“If we did tell you,” the cat added arrogantly, “you might try to escape from your fate, and your destiny would change.”
“Then destiny can’t be changed?” Mitsuki asked. He was getting annoyed with what the girl and the cat were telling him. It was as if his fate had already been decided. If indeed his fate was sealed, then why was he here? Why was he the one still living and breathing?
Because I am searching for something. There was someone who died in my place, who died protecting me. That’s how Subaru… died.
Was her death wrapped up neatly with the word “destiny?”
“Well,” the girl said casually, “to put it simply, it can’t be changed. After all, destiny means ‘to carry a life.’ So as long as you are living, that probably can’t be changed.”
“…I see…”
Somehow it made sense, albeit in a weird kind of way. Within this destiny the girl was talking about, somehow it seemed as if there was hope to be found. It still felt that way to him, although he had been told that he was meant to die.
“Besides, if someone else can take your place, where’s the fun in that? Right?”
Preparing to leave, the girl smiled and said, “So… good luck.”
She was weird after all.
Whaddaya mean, “good luck”? You don’t have to tell me, I’ll try hard anyway.
—I’ll live.
I’ll survive.