Shirayuki seemed to have just noticed I came out, and tucking her katana away under her arms, she wobbly sat down in proper Japanese fashion. She then moistened her pretty, obsidian-like eyes with tears and covered her face with both hands.
“I-I’ll make amends for this with my death. If you’re going to cast me aside, I’ll kill Aria and c-commit hara-kiri right here and now as atonement!”
She making less and less sense with every word she speaks. And what’s with “Kin-chan-sama”? That’s two suffixes attached to my name.
“L-Listen to me ... I’m not casting away or picking up anything. What are you talking about?”
“Well, I mean ... I mean ... if you put a male and female hamster in the same cage, they automatically start multiplying!”
“Not only are you not making sense, but you’re getting way ahead of yourself.”
Hearing the irritation in my voice, Shirayuki flung her tear filled face up towards me.
“A-A-Aria doesn’t think anything more of you than a mere plaything! I just know it!”
“S-Stop shaking me by the collar!”
“It’s my fault. It’s because I didn’t have enough courage that you left, and ... I should say you brought a woman inside ...”
“If you were to become any more courageous, it would put me in a bind.”
She turned towards Aria, who had been making all sorts of wry comments beside me.
“D-Don’t let it get to your head just because you’re in a relationship with Kin-chan, you she-devil!”
Shirayuki threw me to the floor and flung a chain-sickle, which was hidden in her sleeve, at Aria.
“R-Relationship?!” cried Aria as the chain entwined itself around the jet-black Government and left hand she used to shield herself. The strain in their faces was plain to see as they both tugged on that chain with everything they had.
“D-Don’t be stupid! I-I-I-I couldn’t care less about romance!!” shouted Aria in that anime-like voice of hers. As always, she wasn’t very good at dealing with issues related to love, and her face went bright red. “Romance is ... just a waste of time! I’ve never had anything to do with it before and I never intend to! I-I’ve never even wanted to! I’ve never wanted get involved in a romantic relationship! I’ve never wanted anything like that!”
Why did you repeat yourself three times?
“Then what is Kin-chan to you?! He’s not your lover?!”
“We’re not like that!” Arias voice became unnaturally high. “Kinji is my slave! He’s nothing more!”
“S-S-Slave ...?!”
Upon hearing this, Shirayuki’s face went pale, and she stood there with her mouth agape. I didn’t know what she was imagining, but soon afterwards, her face became red-hot.
This girl’s got a lot going through her mind too.
“T-This can’t be ... You’re even forcing Kin-chan to participate in such immoral games?!”
“W-W-W-What kind of nonsense are you spouting?! You’ve got it all wrong!”
“No, I haven’t! I-I’ve also fantasized about that same situation with the roles reversed, so I know!”
“You’re wrong! You’re wrong! You’re wrong! You’re wrong! You’re wroooooong! Kinji!”
Still continuing her tug-of-war with Shirayuki, Aria glared at me with her camellia-colored eyes.
W-What does she want from me, I wonder?
“It’s one-hundred percent your fault that this crazy girl showed up! Do something about it! I’m gonna make you regret it if you don’t!”
I’m already in deep regret.
“... Uhhh. Hey ... first off, Shirayuki—”
“Yes?” she answered upon being called, and releasing the chain-sickle, Shirayuki faced me once again, sitting in the proper Japanese fashion. As a result, Aria was sent tumbling backwards with her legs straight up into the air, but I’m going to pretend I didn’t notice for now.
“Listen to me carefully. Aria and I are just fellow buteis who have temporarily formed a party.”
“... Really?”
“Yes, really. You know my nickname, don’t you? Tell me what it is.”
“... The Misogynist.”
“Right?”
“Also, Mr. Useless as a Lamp in Daylight.”
“That’s not relevant right now.”
“R-right.”
Don’t bring up any unnecessary nicknames. It’s only going to make matters more complicated.
“So as you can see, this incomprehensible anger of yours is a product of misunderstanding and your actions just now are completely meaningless. Besides, she’s a runt who looks like an elementary school student. There’s no-”
“Gonna open a hole.”
“way I’m going to enter that kind of relationship with her.”
Aria had made an interjection, but I’ll be ignoring that as well. She was probably out of bullets anyway.
“B-But ... Kin-chan.”
Hm?
It was quite rare for Shirayuki, whose obedience was one of her merits, to make any sort of retort.
“What?”
“That ...” uttered Shirayuki as she pointed to my pants at the pocket with her slender, white finger. Dangling from my pocket was the enigmatic cat-like creature, Leopon, that I won from that crane game a while back. This plushie was somewhat large, and when I put my cell phone in my pocket, Leopon tended to hang outside. But ... what of it?
Shirayuki’s finger rigidly changed direction until it pointed to the skirt pocket of Aria, who had gotten up and made her way to us. From within her pocket as well, Leopon had his head and arm sticking out as if to say “How’s it goin?”
“The two of you are going for a pair look!!” cried Shirayuki, and tears gushed out of her eyes like a water fountain.
“Pair look?”
Apparently Aria isn’t familiar with the obsolete term that brought with it images of the Shouwa era, and she raised a questioning pink eyebrow.
“H-Having a pair look is what people who love each other do! I’ve ... I’ve dreamt of it so many times!”
“I keep telling you! Kinji and I aren't like that! I’m not even in the slightest bit interested in that kind of relationship with this guy!!”
Great … So much for peaceful negotiations.
“Come on now, Shirayuki.” I turned towards Shirayuki, and gripping her by the shoulders, I looked deep into her eyes. “You don’t believe me?”
I said it with a fairly serious tone, and she began wiping the tears that fell endlessly from her eyes with the back of her hand.
“I-It’s not that. I believe you. I do believe you ...”
After repeatedly affirming the fact, Shirayuki finally began to soften up.
Still whimpering and hiccupping, she then looked back and forth between Aria and I.
“Then ... then you and Aria haven’t done anything like ‘that,’ right?” Shirayuki inquired in a slightly calmer tone.
“What do you mean ‘like that’”?
“Like k-kissing ...”
Kissing. Kissing? Kissing, you say?
“...”
“...”
Aria and I looked at each other, and the both of us became petrified all at once. Aria became as red as a stoplight and glowered at me speechlessly with a mouth that simply continued to open and close.
H-Hey, don’t look at me. Well ... if you looked at the facts, the answer would have to be that we have. But that was sort of an emergency measure that was necessary in our battle with Riko. I’m not sure exactly what to call it, but by no means was it a kiss that could be associated with romantic feelings…
“... You ... did ... didn’t ... you ...?” whispered Shirayuki as her eyes became completely dilated. Any form of expression that was once on her face vanished instantly, and an eerie, hollow laugh could be heard coming from deep within her throat.
H-Hold up, Shirayuki! You’ve become something straight out of a R-rated movie!
“W-We ... we did do something like that, but . . . !” For some reason, Miss Aria, who was on the opposite side of Shirayuki, stood up straight and stuck out her “enhanced” chest, which really couldn’t be pushed up or plunged. “B-But i-i-i-it’s okay!”
“It’s okay”?
“I found out yesterday. I’m not ... not ... not ...”
You’re not ...?
“I’m not pregnant!!”
Aria’s outburst was followed by the type of silence you experience at a funeral. That’s the impression it gave me anyway.
... What? ... Pregnant? ... What is she ...?
Aria crossed her arms in front of her and stood firmly with a look on her face that said “What do you think of that?!”
Whoosh.
Something shaped awfully similarly to Shirayuki came flying out of her body.
“... Shirayuki?!” I cried.
It finally got to the point where she just fell over backwards as she sat there.
“A-Aria! What are you thinking?! Why did you bring that up?”
“Y-Y-You’re such an irresponsible guy! I was worrying by myself the whole time, you know?!”
“Worrying about what?!”
“Well, when I was young, my father told me that kissing leads to pregnancy ...”
I don’t even …! Holmes family! At least educate your daughter about sex properly!
“There’s no way you’re gonna get pregnant over something like that! Even an elementary student knows that!”
“What are you acting all high and mighty for?! Then how does a person get pregnant?! Tell me!”
“I-I-I can’t tell you that, you imbecile!”
“I’ll bet you don’t even know!”
“I know!”
“Then tell me!”
“I’m not telling you anything, you moron!”
We argued back and forth like this until we were both red in the face and glaring at each other so closely that our foreheads nearly touched. It was during this exchange that unbeknownst to us, Shirayuki had regained consciousness and disappeared from the apartment like a cloud of smoke.
Oh, great ... Just how is this going to end up?