Shirayuki Hotogi is a paragon of the ideal Japanese woman.
She’s an exemplary Japanese maiden of the olden days with long, glossy, black hair and a graceful, modest demeanor. Like the ladies of the court in olden day, she is an exemplary maiden of grace and modesty with a lovely visage perfectly framed by her long, glossy dark tresses. A skilled worker in cooking and laundering and a kind soul to everyone, Shirayuki was bound to be a good wife and wise mother. …Or so they thought…
She isn’t the type of girl who would raise a katana over her head with the ferociousness of a demon and scream something along the lines of “I-I-I’m going to kill Aria and then take my own life!”
…Normally, that is.
“Why me?! You’ve got the wrong person!”
It would seem that not even Aria H. Kanzaki, the fourth generation descendent of the great detective, Sir Sherlock Holmes, knew why this priestess had come for her life.
I didn’t blame her. I didn’t know either, and Shirayuki was my childhood friend. My mind shuffled through the blur of recent events, struggling to find reason and cause for the current madness eschewing in front of me. •Shirayuki, who had returned from training camp, sent forty-nine messages to my cell phone the first of which asked: “Is it true that you’re living with a girl?” •Soon afterwards, Shirayuki came storming into my apartment.
•Then, when she saw Aria, this happened.
That’s it.
…It’s no use. I don’t have a clue. I don’t have a single clue as to why Shirayuki suddenly flipped her lid!
“Shirayuki! I don’t know what it is you’re misunderstanding, but this is a misunder…!”
Before I could finish my sentence, Aria kicked me squarely in the back. I slammed into the wall of the hallway before falling on the floor.
“Kinji, do something about this! It’s your fault this weird girl showed up!”
“I-It’s not my fault!”
“That’s right! It’s not Kin-chan’s fault! Kin-chan isn’t to blame! Aria ... it’s your fault! You’re undoubtedly in the wrong here! You should just disappear! So GO AWAY ALREADY!”
T-This isn’t good. Shirayuki’s rage is causing her to forget herself.
To be honest ... I still wasn’t sure of the cause, but ever since we were children, Shirayuki occasionally has these outrageous episodes. From my experience, once things reached this point, no one could calm her down, and it would continue until her victim, usually some girl who had no idea why she was being attacked—was beaten to a pulp.
“This is your divine punishment!!” shrieked Shirayuki as she charged forward, her getas beating across the floor, and swung her katana downwards toward the top of Aria’s head.
Y-You got to be kidding me! She’s seriously trying to kill her!
“Neow!”
Aria gave off a cry like that of some feline-like beast and caught Shirayuki’s katana between her hands.
S-She stopped the blade with her bare hands!
It was the first time I had seen that technique used in actual combat. There was no denying that Aria was a master of baritsu. But this wasn’t the time for me to be impressed by Aria’s expertise.
“You dumb broad!” Aria screamed. With the katana still in Aria’s grip, she jumped up, sending her skirt high into the air. Aria then latched onto Shirayuki’s right arm with both of her legs and proceeded to twist it.
“Vale tudo, is it?!”
Shirayuki, who seemed to have instantly identified Aria’s fighting technique, immediately sounded her getas once more as she took a powerful step backwards and performed a belly-to-back suplex with Aria still wrapped around her arm.
H-Hey, you guys just put a huge dent in the floor!
“Nnnnnnngh, be gone! Be gone, you home wrecker! Disappear from Kin-chan’s sight!” howled Shirayuki, using all of her might to kick Aria with both feet.
“Kyaa?!” Aria cried as she slammed into the living room couch, reducing it to rubble and getting pinned underneath.
“S-Stop! Stop, both of youuuu!”
Blam! Blam!
My deplorations changed to a scream when bullets suddenly whizzed past my face, fired from Aria’s smoking guns that she pulled out while underneath the rubble. Ka-pwing!
Shirayuki matter-of-factly deflected the bullets with her katana.
“That’s it!” Aria cried. “Now I’m pissed! I’m gonna open a hole in you!”
Aria flew out from beneath the couch as if launched from catapult. She ran towards Shirayuki, relentlessly firing her pistols until the magazines became empty . . . but Shirayuki deflected every single bullet. Aria, living up to her alias the Quadra, then crossed her two shorter katanas just in time to intercept a fatal thrust from Shirayuki’s sword. The swords continued to clash again and again until both fighters stood face to face with their katanas locked together, each doing her best to push the other back.
“Kin-chan, stab this girl from behind! If you just do that, I’ll pretend I never saw anything here!”
“Kinji! Back me up! You’re my partner, aren’t you?!”
They both looked to me for assistance ... but I just didn’t know what to make out of the whole situation anymore.
“... Do whatever you want. Fight to your heart’s content.”
Placing my hand on my throbbing forehead, I wearily walked past the two of them, who continued to glare at each other, opened the window, and went out onto the balcony. Why the balcony, you ask? Because there’s a storage locker here—a bulletproof one.
“Kin-chan!”
“Kinji!”
Ignoring their cries, I opened the storage locker and stepped inside.
Shirayuki the Berserker.
Aria the Child of War.
Is a single, ordinary high school student such as myself capable of putting an end to this battle of the beasts? Simply put, the answer is “no.” So I shut the door, sealing my escape from this absurd reality. If you think I’m being rather pathetic, feel free to do so. Nobody wants to die, right?
Hotogi shrine maidens are “armed priestesses.”
At any shrine, the head priest and the shrine maidens more or less protect the objects of worship enshrined there. However, at Shirayuki’s home, the Hotogi Shrine, shrine maidens have always armed themselves while guarding sacred objects of worship for many generations. God only knows why. And as one can see from Shirayuki’s amazon-like prowess, Hotogi Shrine maidens are quite powerful. At this very moment, Shirayuki is effortlessly deflecting all of Aria’s bullets with her katana. Even I have only been able to accomplished that once while in hysteria mode. The source of her strength isn’t something easily understood when explained, nor when witnessed, but apparently ... it’s a type of supernatural ability known as the art of kidou.
...
... Supernatural ability.
It sounds so dubious that no one could believe it, right? I don’t want to believe it either. But evidently these espers do exist. Many researchers have secretly studied and reared them in special facilities in multiple countries across the globe. At Butei High, SSR is the equivalent of one of those facilities. Shirayuki excels as a student there as well and is currently displaying her superhuman abilities. Additionally, buteis who possess these supernatural powers are referred to as “chouteis,” and though they raise a few eyebrows, they’re gaining more and more attention in the butei business with each passing day.
I let out a deep sigh.
... This is not normal.
Some day, I want to transfer to a regular school, lead a normal student life, and become an ordinary adult ... Even now, I hold that wish in my heart ... However, thanks to Aria, I’m rapidly being dragged off into a world that’s anything but ordinary.
The violent clashes, coming from inside the apartment and resembling the climactic battle scene in a war flick, finally came to an end ... so I stop looking at movie websites (my means of a distraction) on my cell phone, place the phone in my pocket, and quietly step out of the bulletproof locker. I nearly passed out as I saw what had become of my home. There were bullet holes and gashes all over the walls, and pieces of furniture I was particularly fond of, were now fragments scattered about the floor. It was as if an earthquake and a typhoon had merge into one destructive force inside my home. As for Ms. Earthquake and Ms. Typhoon themselves, their hair and clothes were as disheveled as could possibly be, and they were covered with sweat and dust. Their status as the most beautiful women around was crumbling away as they sat there exhausted.
“I can’t ... believe ... what a resilient ... home wrecker ... you are,” wheezed Shirayuki, using her katana as cane to help her stand up.
Would you please not pierce the floor with your sword?
“R-Right back ... at you ... Would you please ... just roll over ... and die?”
Aria was sitting in the floor with her knees upright and supporting her upper body with her arms behind her.
“... So, has everything been settled? From the looks of things, I’d say it’s a tie . ...”
After there are no longer any means of continuing a battle, having a third party come in and mediate peace talks is probably the way the world works. That’s what I figure anyway, so I began urging the two of them to negotiate with each other.
“Kin-chan-sama!”1