Today is not my lucky day.
I knew it would be terrible the moment I woke up.
After all, it was February 14th—Valentine’s Day. Some would call that the day girls give boys chocolate, but for me, it’s the day I’d consider lucky if anyone felt obligated to give me anything at all.
That said, while I’d expected a miserable day of sorrow and isolation, what I hadn’t expected was to find myself half buried in the dirt of a gloomy forest. It was hard, even for me, to believe. But I was, in fact, stuck deep in the ground, with my head sticking out. The only thing I could see were miserable-looking trees, and my nose was filled with the cloying scent of the earth.
This isn’t good... Why am I buried?!
I elected to trace the steps that led me here.
After class, my childhood friend had shot me down in front of everyone in our homeroom. She’d given me handmade chocolate, which I’d celebrated as a confession of her real feelings—only for her to get genuinely pissed off. I’d remember her words forever: “Never in my life would I ever give a nasty otaku like you any real chocolate. Quit celebrating, it’s gross.”
From there I’d staggered out of school, but I couldn’t remember where I’d gone. I’d passed by a construction site and heard someone shout, “WATCH OUT!”
I’d looked up to see a falling pipe that, in swift order, slammed into my skull.
When I woke up, I was in my current predicament.
Wait, what?!
There was a major gap there. How exactly did getting hit in the head with a pipe lead one to being halfway in the ground? Shouldn’t I have woken up in a hospital bed or something? Why was I buri—
AH! Don’t tell me!
A horrible theory suddenly formed in my head.
An innocent passerby getting nailed by a falling pipe would be a huge incident. Worst-case scenario, it would become national news and the head of whoever ran that construction site would roll. He might have tried to make the whole incident “disappear” to save his own neck—after all, no victim would mean nobody bringing it to the news. Everyone would just think a rejected high school student ran away from home or something.
Get real! I shouted on the inside.
I tried to claw my way out, but no matter how hard I flailed, I somehow couldn’t move a muscle. The earth must have been packed too tight; even when I tensed my hand as hard as possible, I couldn’t so much as bend a finger, much less an arm or leg. I couldn’t even turn my head to look around.
A bird cried somewhere above me and left behind the sound of flapping wings. The dark blue piercing through the tree canopy indicated night was coming soon. Things were looking grim.
It was just as I was considering the piece of trivia that humans could survive three days without water that I heard a rustling bush, accompanied by the crack of a foot stepping on a twig.
Thank goodness! Someone is—
I almost called out for help, but stopped.
What kind of person would be walking through a forest at this hour...?
I didn’t want any of the construction workers to find me. No doubt they had chosen to bury me in a place nobody would ever find, which meant anyone passing this way had to be one of them. They were probably here to make sure I was dead or something. If they knew I still had the strength to shout, they might elect to finish the job themselves.
Gotta play dead. It’s my only way out.
I shut my eyes and held my breath.
The footsteps approached, then stopped in front of me.
“Ugh... Finally, there it is.”
Huh?
That was a girl speaking. And I didn’t specify that because I was closed-minded; in this era of gender equality, there was nothing strange about female construction workers. My surprise came from how young the voice sounded.
I looked up.
WHAT?!
So. Have any of you ever seen a silver-haired beauty with your own two eyes before? Because I hadn’t. I was born and raised in Japan, and I was a profound lover of anime and manga; to me, silver-haired beauties were a fantasy that existed only in the second dimension.
Or so I’d thought until exactly one second ago.
A robed girl, her almost dazzlingly bright silver hair flowing in the wind behind her, was looking down at me.
She had a lithe figure, and I would pin her as middle school age based on her frame alone. She had sharp eyes, skin so pale one could almost see through it, and most remarkable of all, a face so pretty that even her fantastical silver hair didn’t feel out of place on her head. No doubt she would grow up to be an absurd bombshell. And that wasn’t even mentioning how the prickly expression she wore was exactly my fetish. The day that a girl like her said “I-It’s not like I like you or anything!” was the day I could die in peace.
W-Wait, I was trying to play dead! What am I doing?!
I hurriedly shut my eyes.
I heard the rustling of cloth, then felt soft hands embrace my head.
What? What’s she trying to pull?!
I trembled on the inside in fear. The girl hesitated for a moment, then pulled incredibly hard.
“Nmmmmpppphhh!” she grunted with exertion.
“AAAAARGH! STOP STOP STOOOP!”
She’s insane! I could get trying to dig me out of the ground, but just pulling on my head like I’m a vegetable? I ain’t no radish!
“Bweh? Who?!” she exclaimed, head swiveling as she looked around.
Talk about a weird question. The only two people here were me and this silver-haired beauty. Maybe she thought I was already dead?
“I’m still alive. Please, dig me out, O prickly silver-haired beauty!”
Clearly now was not the time to be playing dead. The fact she tried to pull me out meant she was here to help me, not finish me off.
“Prickly...? Are you talking about me?!”
“Of course. Do you see another silver-haired prickly beauty wandering a forest?”
The girl pouted. To me, the word “prickly” was nothing less than high praise befitting only the most noble of tsunderes, but it seemed she didn’t take it that way.
She scanned the forest with a stern expression. “Who’s bad-mouthing me? Stop hiding and come out!”
“I’m right in front of your face already. Didn’t you just try pulling me out of the ground?”
Her gaze fell. Two large, round eyes bored into me. At last, she noticed me. I could now rest ea—
“AAAAAAAAAAH! THE STAFF SPOOOOOOOOOOKE!”
“H-Hey, wait! Why are you running?! D-Don’t leave me behind! Please help me, I’m begging you, O prickly silver-haired goddess!”
“EEEEK! Don’t call me a goddess!”
My desperate pleas went unanswered. The girl bolted, her silver hair swishing behind her like the tail to a comet. That left me alone with my head stuck in the ground, consoled only by the rustling of tree branches.
“This just isn’t my lucky day...”
The person I thought was here to help instead ran away—and with a weird last comment too. I didn’t see any talking staff.