Survival always demanded a clear head. After even one mistake, it was never easy to recover. I let out a deep breath to steel my nerves. Stay calm, Kreis. You’ll get your revenge, but it’s not time yet.
There was a maid on each side of Gilles. Most of the servants here were loyal to him. They glared at me as I approached and stopped, but I smiled calmly.
“I’m glad to see you’re feeling well, Gilles,” I said.
He blinked in surprise, clearly taken off guard. The maids had the same reaction. It was the first time I’d ever smiled at them like this.
Before, Kreis’d always avoided Gilles as much as he could, because if he made Gilles mad then he would have to face Albert’s wrath. And if they did have to interact, Kreis kept his comments to the bare minimum and then quickly excused himself.
When the maids saw Kreis standing there without immediately walking away, they whispered nervously in Gilles’s ears, but I ignored them and continued.
“If you’re feeling that well, perhaps you can resume your magical studies? Your tutor was quite concerned about you getting behind, after all. I can arrange for him to visit right away, if you’d like.”
I pretended to be worried about him and saw Gilles’s cheek twitching slightly.
He didn’t attend the academy due to his frail constitution. Instead, he received private instruction at the estate but used his condition as an excuse to avoid his magic lessons entirely. The first time around I wasn’t sure why, but now that I could remember the full outline of the story I wrote, I knew.
Gilles had zero aptitude for magic. Among nobles, magical ability was considered part of one’s bloodline. Nobles were almost always gifted in magic. Their level of aptitude varied, of course, but almost everyone could cast at least a spell or two.
But not Gilles.
Later on, it was revealed through a divine prophecy that it was because he’d taken on the burden of the kingdom’s corruption. But I knew that right now Gilles carried a deep inferiority complex over his lack of magical ability.
“I’d love to, but I’m still not feeling well...” he said softly. His expression clouded apologetically.
Back when the real Kreis was unaware of the truth, he’d looked at that face and felt sorry for his poor brother. He thought that whatever pain came from their father’s favoritism wasn’t Gilles’s fault at all.
But that was nowhere near the truth.
And you’re furious now, aren’t you? You’re mad I brought it up, aren’t you? You think I crossed a line? I’ll give you credit for being able to hide it, at least.
“I’m always causing trouble for you, Kreis. It’s all my fault... I’m sorry.” Tears welled up in his eyes as he twisted his expression into the perfect picture of sorrow. It was enough to make anyone feel sorry for him, but I wasn’t buying it anymore.
The old Kreis had suffered in silence and been genuinely worried about Gilles. But that Kreis was gone. Now a cynical man stood in his place, raised in modern Japan and worn down from hardship. I had my original life and Kreis’s life, and now I was on my third one after coming back from the dead. I wasn’t about to lose to some kid who hadn’t even been alive for twenty years.
“Aw, it’s not your fault you can’t do anything, Gilles! Don’t worry. Everyone understands that you’re just totally incapable of it.”
“Wow, you really just called him completely useless twice!” Professor said to me telepathically, sounding amused.
I ignored him and took Gilles’s hand before continuing. “I heard you were barely scraping by with your other lessons too. But don’t get discouraged. In the capital, people expect nobles to aim for perfect scores to earn a seat in government and protect their domains, but you don’t need to worry about any of that, Gilles. I’ll work twice as hard in your place, so all you have to do is focus on your health and not push yourself.” I played the part of the concerned older brother, doing my best to sound sincere. I ignored the sound of Professor cracking up at my side.
“Wow, that’s harsh. You’re telling him he’s absolutely useless and he should just stay that way!”
“I’m so happy you care about me so much, Kreis...” Gilles said.
Yeah, right. You murdered me! I inwardly cursed him as I surreptitiously observed him.
I still didn’t understand why Gilles had begun to think of Kreis as someone to eliminate. At this point in the story, Kreis might’ve been a nuisance, but not someone worth the risk of endangering himself to destroy.
Now, if Gilles were after the title of marquess, it would make sense that Kreis stood in his way. But since Gilles had no academic abilities and showed no interest in managing their domain, it just didn’t add up.
It was odd; I was the one who’d written this story, but I couldn’t even predict what the main character was thinking. How had things become so different from the story I’d written?
“Kreis, I know I’ve been nothing but a burden to you. I’ll speak to father for you and ask him to be a little kinder.”
Ohh, I see. He wants to give me a backhanded little reminder that he’s the one father loves. The old Kreis would’ve been visibly shaken upon hearing such a thing.
“Father doesn’t mean to be cruel. It’s just...because of my condition, he can’t focus on anything else. But one day I know he’ll come to care for you too.”
Oh, so that’s what this is. Not only does father only care about you, but he doesn’t even see me. Is that what you’re trying to say?
Gilles was probably hoping to watch the sadness spread across my face. But unfortunately for him, there was nothing left inside of me that longed for Albert’s love.
“Don’t worry, Gilles. I’ve realized something... There are more important things than that,” I said.
“More important things? But Kreis, don’t give up yet.”
“It’s not about giving up. I just realized I don’t need it. There’s a big world out there. Father’s opinion of me isn’t everything. I’ve made it this far without relying on anyone, and I’ll keep standing on my own wherever I go.”
So go ahead, Gilles. Try to use father’s affection to hurt me all you want. It won’t leave a scratch on me.
I gave him a gentle smile. His eyes wavered, and his gaze darted around anxiously. He’d always read people’s emotions and weaseled his way into their hearts, so this kind of response was totally new to him.
Sorry, but I’m done being your toy.
As I let those thoughts turn over in my mind, Gilles’s body suddenly swayed.
“Lord Gilles!” The maids caught him instantly.
“P-Please don’t... You’ll get your uniforms dirty...” he said.
“We don’t mind at all!”
Gilles pressed a handkerchief to his mouth and coughed weakly.
It wasn’t an act—Gilles truly was in poor health. The old Kreis would’ve been truly worried about him. He might’ve even wondered if this was somehow his fault.
But Kreis was different now. Part of me genuinely wondered if Gilles’s body was just rejecting that rotten personality of his. Maybe he should crack open his gut and see if it was black inside. Suffice it to say, I had no more sympathy left for him.
Even the kindest person would change if they were murdered, especially if they knew that the person in front of them was only putting on some innocent act.
“To think you’ve put such a strain on Lord Gilles!” The maids glared at me, but all I could think about was how absurd it was.
Gilles could burden Kreis with whatever emotional stress he wanted without consequence. But the moment Gilles felt even the slightest bit of stress because I wasn’t hurt like he wanted me to be, it was my fault? Did they think Kreis was some sort of emotional punching bag? That he was just supposed to stand there and take the hits?
Had they ever even considered how cornered this made Kreis feel, all for the sake of keeping their precious peace of mind? I didn’t let any of those thoughts show on my face, of course. I just let my expression cloud over.