Albert always wanted to know everything about Siegfried, but Kreis never told him the full truth. He always kept it very vague and superficial, which inevitably led to a lecture from Albert that would always end in Kreis leaving the study in fear.
“He was hungry. He said he wanted some of my pastries, so I gave him some,” I said.
“What else?”
“Nothing in particular.”
“Kreis.” Albert’s voice dropped to a low, threatening growl. “You’re the most useless person I’ve ever seen. Don’t you even try to be helpful?”
At last he looked up from his desk and I saw that familiar cruelty in his eyes. This was his usual method—he’d belittle Kreis until his son begged for forgiveness. That was how Albert stole his self-esteem and drained him of any will to resist.
He tore his son down so thoroughly because Kreis was a threat. Obviously if Kreis ever gained power, he might someday challenge Albert’s position. The fear of that happening was why he was always trying to make Kreis submit to him.
Kreis wasn’t a beloved family member in Albert’s eyes. Was he a pawn to be used or an enemy to be eliminated? Albert was always weighing that scale in his mind.
And despite it all, all Kreis wanted was for someone to love him. How pitiful, because it was a wish that would never come true.
I had no real experience with family myself since my parents had died when I was young. I’d never known what it was like to have a family to love, or be loved. Neither had Kreis, but because the man who stood in front of him was his father, he just couldn’t let go of the hope that one day he would be loved by him.
“Why? Why do you hate me so much, father?”
I recalled Kreis’s cry before he died. Albert had known Kreis was going to be killed, and he’d handed him over to Gilles and the others without so much as blinking.
“The useless have no place here.” His eyes were full of contempt. And it wasn’t until that exact moment that Kreis finally realized how futile his wish had always been.
That’s right, Kreis. This man will never love you. So don’t waste another second of hope on him.
“With all due respect...” I began.
Albert’s eyes widened, clearly not expecting Kreis to talk back.
“Don’t you believe that His Majesty’s visits to this estate are quite useful to you, father?”
Albert drew in a sharp breath.
I was well aware that Albert had been bragging about Siegfried’s frequent visits. He was trying to subtly spread the idea that the Louboutin family enjoyed some kind of special favor with the king.
“Are you talking back to me?” he asked.
“Of course not! I wouldn’t dare.” I feigned a frightened expression as I watched frustration spread across Albert’s face.
Kreis had always submitted without protest, but now he was suddenly standing his ground, so he must have been quite irritated. People are calm when they think they’re in control, but once challenged, their judgment tends to falter.
And so I made the first move the moment I saw him clenching his fist, before he could aim it at me.
“I’ve had the sense that His Majesty has been observing me lately,” I said casually.
“Observing you?”
“Yes. He said I looked thinner and seemed genuinely concerned that I might be struggling somehow.”
Albert fell silent.
It wasn’t a lie, of course. Siegfried had indeed been worried about Kreis’s health, and all I’d done was make his comments sound a little more serious.
“He notices the smallest changes in me, and I realized I should take better care of myself,” I said pointedly.
Kreis had always silently endured, no matter what Albert had done to him.
He was regularly hit, almost daily. He’d had scalding tea thrown at him. He’d been kicked down the stairs, left to freeze outside in the snow. He’d endured all of it, telling himself it was just a test, that such things came with the duty of being an heir.
But now I understood that endurance really meant nothing. Thinking that things would change, or that someone would come to save him, that was all just running away. If I wanted anything to change now, I had to make it happen, because if I just kept enduring, all that awaited me was death.
“What are you aiming at here?” Albert asked, sounding even more irritated than before. I’d only warned him without saying outright that if he continued to harm me, Siegfried wouldn’t stand for it. And I knew he understood exactly what I meant, which was why I feigned innocence with my response.
“Whatever do you mean, father?” I asked.
“Are you threatening me?”
“Of course not. I simply didn’t want His Majesty to worry about me any more than he already does.” I exaggerated my shock, and Albert glared at me with a bitter look on his face.
Albert had only ever tormented Kreis because he’d assumed he’d never fight back, and now that I was doing just that, he had no real way to respond. He was nothing but a small, petty man.
Even knowing that, I felt my hands trembling under his glare. Some memories didn’t fade so easily. And it felt pathetic to be scared of a character I’d created.
But even that fear was a weapon now. As long as that fear remained, I could continue to deceive Albert just as he’d deceived Kreis.
“Please don’t worry. I’ll do everything in my power to avoid causing His Majesty any displeasure, as a member of House Louboutin,” I said.
“Mind your place. I can cut you off any time I want.”
“Of course. I’ll keep that in mind.”
His threats only hardened my resolve. Go ahead and try it if you think you can. I’d use anything at my disposal, even Siegfried’s friendship, if it meant I would survive.
You won’t be sitting up on your high horse for much longer.
“Leave,” Albert spat.
“Oh, there’s just one thing before I go.”
“What?” he growled.
“Well, it’s regarding the matter of the maid Elly’s embezzlement, as I’m sure you’re already aware.”
“Don’t insult me! Of course I already know that!”
Liar. You didn’t have the slightest idea.
It was an embarrassment for a noble to fail at keeping his own servants in check. I found it amusing that Albert couldn’t even admit it, as I bowed gracefully and left the room.
“Well done! As a reward, I’ll let you pet me later.”
Professor finally spoke up from his place behind me once I stepped out into the hallway. Had he concealed his presence, or had I just gotten used to it? Honestly, I’d forgotten he was even there.
“All right, I’ll take you up on that offer,” I said.
At least now Albert wouldn’t be able to lay hands on Kreis so easily. The old Kreis never would’ve dared to use his connection to Siegfried as leverage, but I wasn’t Kreis. I didn’t care about pride or dignity. All I cared about was survival—mine and Siegfried’s.
“This is just the beginning. There’s still much to do.”
“That’s true.”
First of all, I needed to improve my position at the estate. Albert would always back Gilles, that much was a given. He’d never help Kreis. That was exactly why I had to break free of the cage Albert had built around me.
And reporting Elly’s embezzlement had been part of that plan. Now that Albert was aware, he would investigate all the servants, and Elly wasn’t the only one with secrets. Once the staff started turning over, I’d have more opportunities to shake things up.
“So much to do...”
“And what do you have to do, Kreis?”
I heard a voice coming from the end of the hallway. It was Gilles. The sight of him and the sound of his voice caused a certain emotion to race through me—rage.
“Ah ha ha! Why don’t you just die already?”
That hideous smirk. His shrill, mocking voice.
Kreis’s memories came surging back to me, commanding me. “Kill him.”
“Calm down, Kreis,” Professor warned.
“I know.”
I pushed the flood of images and emotions to the back of my mind. Now wasn’t the time. If I let my feelings show, I’d be playing right into Gilles’s hands.