That was so fun...
On the last night of summer vacation, I hugged my pillow close to my chest as I lay in bed. Hachijo-kun and I had hung out at least once a week all summer. We went to see a movie based on a novel. We spent the day at the library. We did homework at the karaoke place together. Sometimes we just went to the spa and relaxed all day. We didn’t go on any trips together, and we didn’t go on any real dates like to an amusement park or anything like that. Our biggest excursions were to Ikebukuro to buy some light novels and to Jimbocho looking for rare, old books.
Since Hachijo-kun knew I didn’t like to be around lots of people, he was considerate and never invited me to those places. He said he liked to ride his bicycle, so I knew he liked the outdoors even though he didn’t seem the type.
But if he did invite me to ride bikes... No, I hated bikes. I wasn’t very confident in my stamina, so what if I got too exhausted halfway through the ride and ruined the whole thing? But if he invited me on any other kind of trip, I might go. And if I thought my parents would say no, I’d just keep it a secret.
“Ahhh!” All of a sudden I felt shy and started rolling around on my bed, squeezing my pillow. It was so girly even I was surprised. I couldn’t believe it. I felt like I was the heroine of some novel. I wish summer vacation were longer... Ah, but...
School started tomorrow, but I wasn’t sad about it. Before, I never would’ve felt this way. I was a loner. No one had ever been waiting for me on the first day of school.
But things were different now. He would be there tomorrow. And then we could start spending lunchtime together again. We’ll get to see each other every day again, starting tomorrow. So there was no way I could be sad about summer break ending. I bet second semester’s going to be so fun. That night, I fell asleep feeling peaceful and happy.
◊◊◊
Looking back on it now, I was full of myself. I should have thought things through more. I should have realized the kind of person he was, to have gotten involved with me in the first place. He was surprisingly friendly and had a meddling personality. I should have realized that he could show that kindness to someone other than me.
◊◊◊
It was the first day back after summer break, and the start of second semester. As soon as I walked into the classroom, I saw a box on the desk. Apparently it was a lottery to draw seats again, with random numbers assigned to the chart on the chalkboard. We had to pick numbers and then sit in that seat.
We’re changing seats... I felt a little disappointed to not be sitting behind Hachijo-kun anymore. But we didn’t usually talk to each other in class anyway, and we’d still have our time together at lunch. I pulled a number from the box and matched it to the chart on the chalkboard. I got number twenty... That’s somewhere in the back.
My new seat was in the very last row, by the window. My vision was fine so it wasn’t a problem, but I had a feeling I might doze off on sunny days. I sat down in my new seat, took out a book, and started reading.
The students at the front of the classroom were pulling numbers loudly, going through the whole range of emotions at their results. I put on my noise-canceling earphones so I could focus on my book. After I spent some time reading in my own little world, the chair in front of me moved.
I looked up to see Hachijo-kun grinning at me. I was surprised (although no one could probably tell since I was usually so expressionless) and pulled out my earphones. “How?” There was no way it was just a coincidence.
He showed me his piece of paper. “I switched with someone so they could sit next to their friends.”
“Oh...” People who arrived later had the power of negotiation, apparently.
He put his bag down at his desk and took his seat, then twisted towards me and smiled. “I’m looking forward to spending second semester here with you, Nue.”
“Yeah...” I felt the corners of my mouth tug upwards as I nodded ever so slightly.
◊◊◊
Peaceful days followed for a while, but then something suddenly changed.
“...”
Huh? Did someone say something? I felt strange all of a sudden. I’d been listening to music with my noise-canceling earphones while I was reading. I looked up and saw a girl with bright dyed hair walking away. What’s her name again... Hanamizawa-san?
She was a cheerful, cute girl who was one of the most popular kids in our class. I could only match names to faces with a handful of my classmates, but even I knew who she was. Well, I knew who she was, but I’d never talked to her before. Did she just say something to me? No way. I was curious, but at the same time there wasn’t really anything I could do about it. So I put my earphones back in and continued reading until Hachijo-kun sat down in front of me and tapped on my desk to let me know the teacher was here.
Later at lunch, I poked Hachijo-kun’s back after I was finished eating. He was sitting there looking at his phone. Poking him was my way of saying I’m done eating, let’s go to the library! He left the room to go get the library key from the teachers’ lounge. I packed up my lunch box and followed after him. I walked down the noisy hallway and stood next to the library door to wait for him.
And I kept waiting, wondering when he’d show up. It made me feel like I was waiting for my date. The only reason I could feel such anxious excitement was because I was certain he’d come. A few minutes later, Hachijo-kun came walking up.
“Here.” He handed me the keyring and I opened up the library. We walked in together. He headed towards the circulation desk while I unlocked the next door resource room. I opened the window to let some fresh air in and checked the books in the return slot, where people returned books while the library was locked up. Only three returns today.
After finishing my tasks, I headed back to the desk. There was a carton of unsweetened tea at my spot on the desk. Hachijo-kun must’ve bought it for me. Unsweetened. Heheh. He knew exactly what I liked. I loved tea, but I didn’t like adding milk or sugar.
I handed him the returned books so he could quickly check them back in. I reshelved them and returned to the desk. He was drinking his café au lait from a straw, reading a book. I sat down next to him and put the straw in my tea, then opened up my own book.
It was a lunch break just like any other day. We sat there reading together until the warning bell rang.
◊◊◊
The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. We locked up the library together.
“Hey, Nue? Sorry, but I can’t go home with you after school today.”
“Huh?” I stared at him, wondering if he had some kind of errand to run or something. He let out a dejected sigh.
“I got roped into doing something and it’s a total pain.”
“Oh...” I murmured, feeling a little disappointed. I wondered if I could help, but before I could ask him, he continued.
“Don’t worry about anything here. You can go on home.”
I was frustrated with myself for not getting my thoughts out fast enough. Being told not to worry made me even more hesitant to ask for more details. Despite how I was feeling, I didn’t want to be some kind of annoying, nagging girlfriend.
I tried not to be, anyway.
But after last period ended, Hanamizawa-san went up to Hachijo-kun and said, “Remember our conversation this morning?”
Wait, is she the one who roped him into doing something? The moment that possibility sprang to mind, an uncomfortable feeling spread inside of me. I couldn’t explain it, but I just didn’t like this. She was energetic and cheerful—the exact opposite of me. It was painful watching her talk to Hachijo-kun. I didn’t think it was jealousy. If I had to name the feeling, it would be...insecurity.
She was the kind of girl who was fun to just be around and I was worried that he would start liking her instead. If only I had enough courage to say, “Don’t steal my boyfriend!” But of course I could never do that.
“Yeah. Well, should we—” At that moment, I looked over Hachijo-kun’s shoulder and made eye contact with Hanamizawa-san. I could see the surprise on her face when she saw me. I wondered what kind of look I had on my face. It must’ve been a very sad look. Who wouldn’t be surprised suddenly making eye contact with someone on the verge of tears? I couldn’t bear being there one second longer, so I gathered up my things and rushed out of the classroom.
◊◊◊
The next morning, Hachijo-kun was acting the same as he always did. He read quietly by himself in the classroom without interacting with anyone, and we spent a peaceful lunchtime together in the library. The only difference was that I noticed Hanamizawa-san stealing glances at him all day. Maybe I was just being overly sensitive, but I felt a pit in my stomach.
I knew he had a caring personality, and it was probably the reason he couldn’t turn down Hanamizawa-san’s request. And I think she had tried to talk to me first. If only I had answered her, maybe she wouldn’t have had to ask him instead. I wasn’t capable of doing that, though.
“Please teach me how to have fun alone on weekends!” Hanamizawa-san was pleading with Hachijo-kun. “Because you’re, like, the master of being alone.”