Chapter 4

4 The downpour was relentless, pelting onto the houses, the fields, the meadows, and the mountain. This was the seventh summer since Hana and the children had moved to the country. Record-breaking rains had fallen in their area quite a few times this year. Even in a normal year, the region received abundant rain. The air over the Sea of Japan would become heavy with humidity and flow in, collide with the mountains, and empty its load. In winter, it turned to snow that built up until spring, then streamed down as snowmelt that watered the fields. In summer, the mountains protected the area from typhoons. The grain swelled heavy on the stalks, making it one of Japan’s top rice-growing regions. The topography was ideal for it. But once every great while, there was just a bit too much moisture from the sea. If this happened in winter, the result was heavy snow that turned the region into an inland island completely buried in white. If it happened in summer, the clouds of the rainy season wouldn’t merely pass through but would hover above them, turning the weather unpredictable. The sun would disappear, and the crops would stop growing. And that wasn’t all. The soil in the region was heavy, poorly drained clay, which suited it well to growing rice. Government policies intended to rein in the overproduction of rice had led many families to convert their paddies to dryland fields, however, and those didn’t hold the rain like countless green retention ponds. Now, when the torrential rains came, the drainage canals swelled with water and spilled over, drowning the crops and creating a poor harvest for the year. Hana’s vegetable fields, too, had once been paddies, and she suffered the same fate as the local farmers that year. Her spring vegetables were essentially wiped out, forcing her to buy vegetables at the supermarket. Prices soared, and money became tight for the family. The downpours caused landslides as well, sending mud and rocks racing down the hillsides. Although the local government had drawn up maps of risky areas, predicting where landslides would actually occur was extremely difficult. When fields were buried in mud, the damage was far worse than a mere year of poor harvests. This happened to more than a few households this time. During the brief intervals of sun, the neighbors helped one another dig out of the mud. “We could hear the tree roots snapping last night.” “We’re just lucky it didn’t get the house and the fields.” “The banks collapsed on the fields that used to be paddies. It’s a real mess out there.” Mr. Doi and Mr. Horita looked at each other and sighed. They would have to reinforce the banks of the fields that were still at risk with wooden stakes and stones, then dam up some of the swollen waterways to divert their flow. Human neighborhoods were not the only ones affected by the rains. Deep in the mountains, several massive mudslides had occurred. Ame walked through the woods many times to carefully observe the damage. Scores of trees lay tossed about on the ground, as if some ferocious beast had raged down the mountain. Underground streams poured like waterfalls from the raw scars carved into the slopes by powerful landslides. The soft layer of rotted leaves covering the ground had been washed clean away. Many of the beautiful little worlds Ame had discovered were now turned to wastelands by the merciless onslaught. He came across the corpses of many wild animals. Each time he discovered one, he buried it, but the quantity was overwhelming, the bodies never ending. He could hardly wrap his head around the amount of damage the torrential rains had inflicted on the plants and animals living on the mountain, nor imagine how many years would pass before it fully recovered. Between a pair of toppled trees, he found the body of a dead chick that had fallen from its nest. “—” He stood gazing at it for a long time. In his mind, he saw himself in the little corpse. Hana’s eyes were fixed on the entryway of the house. Recently, Ame had been coming home late, and he spoke very little. Every time he returned, she was startled anew. His face had a strength and keenness far beyond his years. He even seemed to grow taller day by day. The old-fashioned house was dark and gloomy in the late afternoon drizzle while Hana sat quietly mending the fraying edges of a stuffed wolf, thinking back on the days when the children were more innocent. Neither of them had been able to sleep without their stuffed wolf, which she had patched countless times. Finally, though, they had set their toys aside, and now they lay forgotten at the back of their desks. These days, a leaden anxiousness lurked constantly in the depths of Hana’s heart. It had started the day of Yuki and Ame’s great fight two years earlier. Before that, she had honestly wished for them to grow up and become independent, but now it was the opposite. She was always wondering when she would be set aside like their stuffed wolves, spent and no longer useful. She shifted her gaze back toward the entryway. “…Ame!” She leaped up. Ame was drenched as he stepped into the house, his eyes sharp as ever. “Where have you been?” Hana had raced to the entryway, but she jumped back as she brushed Ame’s shoulder. His skin was cold as ice. “Wait a minute. I’ll run a bath for you.” As she headed toward the bathroom, Ame’s low voice stopped her. His gaze remained fixed on the floor. “It’s Teacher… He’s hurt his leg and can’t walk. I think he’s going to die soon.” “—” “Someone has to take over everything he’s been doing.” The words were not meant for Hana. He was talking to himself, giving voice to what he already knew. Hana felt as if her anxiety would crush her. Unable to stand it any longer, she suddenly turned sternly toward him. “…Ame! I forbid you from going to the mountain anymore!” She grabbed his shoulder and shook him roughly, trying to make him listen. But her words didn’t seem to reach him. No matter how much she shook him, her only answer was the water dripping from his hair. All the same, she insisted even more. “Do you understand? You’re only ten! You’re a child! A wolf may be grown up by age twelve, but you—” She couldn’t finish her own sentence. He was a wolf. He had grown up far faster than a human. The rain pounded down ever harder outside, and the sound of the drops hitting the ground filled the entryway. Hana pressed her hands together in supplication. “…I’m begging you. Don’t go up the mountain anymore. As your mother, I’m begging you.” “—” Finally, he returned to his senses and looked up at her. Bright sunlight shone into the gym from the west. School had just let out. The boys were playing a rowdy game of two-on-two basketball. Souhei dribbled the ball back and forth between his hands, stealing every chance for a shot. Yuki stared absently at them from a corner of the gym. She had started sixth grade that spring, and she was nearly as tall as Hana. Her figure had changed, too, and even she could tell that her childhood was drawing to a close. Hana had made her a new dress to fit this next stage of her life. The dark blue fabric and simple cut may have been a tad too grown-up for Yuki, but they showed off her long arms and legs beautifully. Souhei still had the ball as he switched hands behind his back, feinted, and slipped past the defense. He was obviously controlling the game, and his face brimmed with confidence. Now that his voice was changing, his words came out low and hoarse. Yuki listlessly shifted her gaze toward the ground. There was a reason for her mood—a few minutes earlier, she had happened to hear some other girls talking. “That reminds me, did you hear the news?” one of them said. “What news?” “I overheard my parents talking about it…” “And?” “Souhei’s mom is getting married.” “What? You’re kidding!” “Why?” “Prob’ly ’cause she’s so pretty.” “So Souhei’s gonna have a new dad.” “That’s a good thing.” “Well, maybe.” “What do you mean?” “I heard he doesn’t know yet.” “No way!!” “Why not?” “Just don’t tell anyone, okay? It’s a secret.” A secret, they said. Why would his mother keep something so important from him? She seemed so strict. What was really going on with her? Yuki couldn’t even begin to guess. More than anything, she wondered why people who had nothing to do with the situation—herself included—would know about it before Souhei. What the heck was so secret about it? Bang! The sound snapped Yuki out of her reverie. The basketball net was swinging. Souhei had made his shot and was grinning excitedly. Yuki couldn’t stand it anymore. She put on her backpack and hurried out of the gym. The midnight shadows of gently swaying trees moved across the bedroom. Ame sat up in bed. He rose slowly and silently slipped under the mosquito net. As he quietly pulled the sliding door to the bedroom shut behind him, he abruptly stopped and looked back into the room. Hana was sleeping inside the mosquito net with the book she had been reading on her pillow. Ame gazed at the scene for a moment, then continued on to the entryway and noiselessly opened the door. Moonlight illuminated his feet where he stood rooted to the ground. He did not leave the house, but neither did he go back inside. He just stood still. “—” He didn’t know how much time passed, but the sky began to grow lighter. Finally, he sat down and looked up. The silhouettes of the trees rocked in a gentle wind. Night gave way to dawn. Several hours later, the morning radio broadcast echoed faintly in the empty entryway. “…A high-pressure system is expected to bring mostly clear skies throughout the prefecture today, but as the front advances toward the Sea of Japan, weather conditions will likely change through the evening and night.” Yuki ran into the entryway, ready for school. “It’s so muggy!” she complained as she sat down, fanning her legs with the hem of her blue dress, and put on her shoes. “Yuki.” “Huh?” She looked up to find Ame standing over her. Ever since their fight, the two had kept their distance and stayed out of each other’s business. They didn’t talk unless they had a special reason to. It wasn’t that they didn’t get along, more that each sibling respected the other’s position and gave them the space to live. Today, though, Ame took the initiative to speak to Yuki. “Stay home today.” “Huh?” “Stay here with Mom.” Yuki stood up and looked at Ame. “Why?” Just as Ame started to answer, Hana poked her head into the entryway. “You’ll miss the bus, guys!” “Okay, Mom.” Yuki turned toward Hana with a smile, then looked back to Ame. “Stay with her,” she whispered to him as she headed out, her backpack swaying lightly. “—” Ame watched her go, then looked up at the sky. A damp wind was blowing around the house. “—Ame.” Hana gazed worriedly at his back. “—” He didn’t answer, his face still upturned. “—Ame!” she yelled. He whirled around with a start. “—” She eyed him severely, but a moment later, she softened her gaze. “…Let’s go inside.” A threatening wind blew across the verdant July stalks of rice. Swallows brushed the leaves as they flew low over the paddies. Inside the classroom, the curtains ballooned as clouds blotted out the sunshine. Yuki, sensitive to the slightest change in weather, glanced outside. Layers of dark clouds towered on the horizon. She could feel the approaching storm. At the same moment, the plants in Hana’s backyard were swaying in the wind. The radio, which she’d left on all day, blared its warnings. “…The front that stalled over the Sea of Japan is now moving south, and as a result, atmospheric pressure over the prefecture has rapidly become unstable. Local showers of extremely heavy rain and lightning are expected. On the plains, hourly rainfall may exceed seventy millimeters per hour, and in the foothills, it is expected to exceed one hundred millimeters per hour.” Hana suddenly remembered she had hung laundry out to dry. She stopped making lunch and hurried out to the backyard to pull the flapping clothes and towels off the line. Ame took her place in the kitchen and watched her through the window as the raspy voice on the radio continued its announcements. “…The weather station has issued a prefecture-wide flood and heavy-rain warning. Residents are advised to prepare for landslides, flooding of rivers and houses, and other damage. The following warnings were issued at eleven AM. The northwestern part of the prefecture can expect heavy rain, thunder and lightning, and flooding. The southwestern part…” The wind was picking up. With Ame’s help, Hana started preparing for the storm. He carried in the storm shutters from the barn and passed them to his mother, who slid them one after the next onto the curtain rails on the sliding doors lining the porch. The herbs in the front garden waved madly. As he walked back to the barn, Ame stopped and looked slowly up at the sky. “Ahh!!” Just then, a gust of wind had knocked Hana off balance. “—” Ame stared at her frail figure tottering on the porch. Splish, splash, splosh…! Raindrops spotted the asphalt. Pattapattapattapa…!! They fell noisily onto lotus leaves, gathering quickly into larger pools at the centers. Fssssshhhhhhh…!!! In an instant, the sprinkle was a downpour. On the far side of the floodgate, a single crane took flight, belatedly fleeing the storm as dark rain clouds blanketed every corner of the sky. The nervous students sat under the sickly fluorescent lights. With each gust of wind, the wooden school building creaked. Mr. Tanabe returned to the sixth-grade classroom and briskly erased the words study hall from the blackboard. “We’re expecting heavy rains, so afternoon classes have been canceled.” “Yay! Yippee!” The students burst into a flurry of excitement. Mr. Tanabe scrambled to regain control. “We are currently contacting your mothers and fathers to come pick you up. We’ll all head to the gym to wait for them. Please sit with the other children from your neighborhood.” A wave of students from all grade levels carrying backpacks surged into the hallways. Unlike the tense teachers, the excited crowd of children heading for the gym smiled with the happy thrill of a break in the routine. Souhei sat alone in the classroom, as if he’d been forgotten. “—” He stared silently out the window from his desk. The hard rain drummed on Hana’s house, and rainwater poured off the roof like waterfalls. The front garden was already mottled with pools. The trees shivered noisily. With all the doors and storm shutters closed, the inside of the house was as dark as night, even though it was just after noon. Hana sat in the main room silently folding laundry under the feeble glow of the light bulb, and Ame sat quietly in his chair at the dining table. Neither one said a word. Ever since the day he had come home soaking wet, Hana had feared he would wander off again, constantly praying he would stay by her side. As if silently complying with her wish, he had not left the house since then. Instead, he stayed within his mother’s sight, staring out the window from morning till night. This situation did not put Hana at ease, as she realized he was sacrificing the world he had found for the sake of her wishes. Nevertheless, she couldn’t stop wishing for it. She was being pulled apart by the conflicting emotions, which was why she had remained silent for so long. Crk-BOOOOM!!! The clap of thunder shook the house. “—!” Hana gave a start, then huddled lower. A second later, the lights went out and plunged the main room into darkness. The only remaining light came from the kitchen window. “…Think it’s a blackout?” Hana looked up timidly toward the ceiling, then stood and felt her way toward the breaker. A pile of freshly folded towels toppled over under her foot. Ame’s shadow remained in the room alone, staring at a corner of the table. The light from the window glinted in his eyes. Thunder rolled in the distance, like a signal that led Ame to slowly raise his head. The sharpness in his eyes spoke of a decision made over many days. His quiet voice broke the silence in the room. “…I have to go.” In the terraced paddies, rice plants danced in the fierce wind and rain. Water from the irrigation canals spilled over the asphalt of the agricultural road, and the netting Hana had stretched over her vegetable beds to keep insects off tore and flapped in the wind. The columnar silhouette of a steel transmission tower stood stark against the fast-moving rain clouds in wind so strong it warped the high-voltage lines. “…I see. I’ll head straight there.” Hana placed the receiver back on the black telephone, headed for the hearth room, and pulled on her raincoat. “Ameee! Let’s go get Yuki from school,” she called through the wall, but he didn’t respond. “Ame…?” She returned to the kitchen carrying the children’s raincoats. Ame had been there just a minute earlier, but now he was gone. Only his mug remained on the table. “Ame? Where are you? Ame?” She checked the main room, but he wasn’t there, either. Just then, she heard the bang of the front door. “?” She looked toward the sound. Raindrops were blowing in through the slightly open door. Beyond them, she glimpsed Ame’s back. “…Ame!!” She shouted his name in surprise and ran to the entryway, pulled the sliding door open with all her might, and burst outside. “Ame!!” The gust of wind and rain blasted her so hard it nearly knocked her off her feet. “Oof…!” Beyond the wildly waving plants, she could just make out Ame’s form heading calmly through the storm toward the mountain. “Ame!!” She splashed through the drenched front garden, oblivious to how she must look, screaming his name. If she hurried, she could still bring him back… She followed after where she’d seen him walking, down the lane to the road in front of their house, but… “…?!” …Ame was nowhere to be seen. “Oh…?!” She looked back toward the village, but he wasn’t there, either. “Huh…?!” At a loss, she searched around desperately for him, her anxiety finally surging to the surface. “Where are you?! Ame…Ame?!” Then she looked toward the mountain and caught her breath. “…!!” HWOOOOOOOOOOOO! The wind whipped past her with a terrifying howl; the frenzied lashing of the trees was reflected on the wet asphalt; myriad branches danced through the air and crashed one by one to the ground. Ame… Hana was positive he was heading for the mountain. “…!!” She made up her mind and strode straight into the powerful wind. HWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Her raincoat twisted around her in the wind and rain, so fierce she could hardly breathe. But she continued to resolutely place one foot in front of the next, climbing the path to the mountain. She was determined to bring Ame back home. The downpour showed no sign of easing in the central part of town, either. Cars with their headlights on splashed through the puddles, forming lines in the school parking lot as parents arrived to pick up their children, holding their umbrellas slantwise against gusts of wind as they dashed from their cars to the school building. Inside the gym, mothers and fathers called out their children’s names. Each time, the remaining children lifted their heads and, when they realized they had not been called, dropped them again dejectedly. One by one, they headed home alongside their parents. Yuki watched the scene absentmindedly from her spot on the cold gym floor. Shino sat beside her, watching with a sigh as the younger students played to pass the time. The wait seemed like it would never end. Only Souhei kept an intense gaze fixed on the entrance to the gym. BABOOOOOOM!!! “Eek!” Yuki and the other children shrank away from a tremendous clap of thunder. The gym ceiling shuddered, making the light from the mercury lamps flicker, and a girl from one of the lower grades with her bangs pulled back into her ponytail glanced anxiously toward the door. “My mom and dad are taking a really long time…” Shino and Yuki looked down as the little girl grabbed the hand of a boy with a buzz cut. Suddenly, Souhei spoke up. “Don’t worry,” he said casually. “But—” Before the boy could finish his protest, Souhei leaned in. “If we get to stay overnight at school, I’m gonna play cards all night long!” he declared with a mischievous grin. “Ooh, I wanna play!” The little girl was suddenly excited. “Me too, me too!” The little boy latched onto the idea as well, and their pouts turned to smiles. “That sounds so fun!” Shino said, adopting Souhei’s enthusiasm and exchanging glances with Yuki. The little girl smiled at Yuki happily. “It’ll be like camp!” Souhei stood up. “I’ll go get some cards from the classroom.” “Great,” Yuki said, watching him go with some relief, thinking about how boys were so good at changing the mood. “Do you even know how to play cards?” the little boy teased. “I only know Old Maid.” “Dummy!” “Hey, no fighting!” Shino scolded, just as her father walked into the gym. “Shino!” “Over here! You sure took your time, Dad,” she pouted. The big-sister act of a moment earlier had vanished, replaced by trusting childishness. Her father walked over, plastic slippers flapping noisily, and knelt beside her. “Sorry! Boy, is this one nasty storm!” he apologized, scratching his head. He smiled warmly at Yuki. “I can give you a ride home, too, if you want.” “Really?” “Yeah, Yuki, come with us!” Shino stood up and slung her backpack over one shoulder. Yuki knew Shino’s father well. Even though he was the third-generation owner of a well-established lumber company, he always dressed unassumingly and treated Yuki, who didn’t have a father of her own, as kindly as if she were his own. She had stayed over in their big old house more than a few times. “Come on,” Shino prodded. Yuki thought for a minute before turning them down with a smile. “…I really appreciate it, but I’m sure my mom will be here any minute.” She could see the younger kids playing tag out of the corner of her eye. She felt she should wait until someone came to get them, and she also had to consider Souhei, who had gone back to the classroom. If they passed the time playing, Hana would come for her soon enough. “Don’t worry about being polite,” Shino’s father said. “Yeah!” Shino chimed in. Yuki was grateful, but she said no again. “If my mom’s already on her way, I don’t want to miss her.” Shino’s father smiled. “That’s true. Well, we’re outta here, then.” He stood up. Shino followed, waving apologetically to Yuki. “Bye!” “Bye!” Yuki waved back and watched the father-daughter pair cling to each other as they stepped into the gale-force winds. As they hurried to their car, the wind turned their umbrella inside out, and Shino’s father pulled her to him protectively. After they were gone, Yuki watched one child after the next leave with their parents. A scary-looking mother in a tracksuit quieted her crying daughter and set her on her feet. A kindly-looking father headed out hand in hand with his two children as if they were going on a picnic. A smiling elderly couple came for their grandchild. Yuki watched them all, her arms wrapped around her knees. The crowd of children in the gym had shrunk to just a smattering. The boy with the buzz cut skidded back over like a batter sliding into first base, wrenched off the cap to his thermos, and glugged down its contents. Yuki was less worried about her own mother than she was about Souhei. At least half an hour had passed since he went to retrieve the cards. “…He sure is taking a while,” she muttered to herself. Finally, she jumped up and ran off toward the classroom. “Yuki!” the boy shouted, lowering his thermos momentarily, but she was already jogging out of the gym. FSSSSSSHHHHHHHH… The rain lashed down; mist curled slowly along the base of the mountain. “Ame…!!” Hana called his name on the path covered in bamboo grass they had once walked together. “Where are you, Ame…?!” She called from the field of reed grass in which they had stood. “Ame!!!” She called from the bottom of the cedar tree where they had met Teacher. But nowhere did she receive an answer in return. Ame was not there. The mountain looked like an entirely different place in the storm, and Hana’s anxiety swelled. She climbed through a corridor of cedar trees where waterfalls of rain cascaded off the slope. “—You promised you wouldn’t go to the mountain…” She tripped and fell to her knees. “You promised—” Covered in mud, she got up and kept climbing. “Ahhh!” “I’m getting soaked!” The students clambered noisily into the school van parked next to the gym. Mr. Tanabe stood next to the door, sopping wet in his raincoat, and gave each student’s back an extra push on their way in. Mr. Tanabe had come into the gym just after Yuki left and announced that any remaining children would be given a ride home in the school van. Panting, he pushed in the last student and peered around the inside of the van. “Is this everyone? What about Yuki and Souhei?!” The girl with her bangs pulled back leaned over the seat in front of her. “Shino’s dad said he’d take them home!” “So they went with him?” The girl shrugged; that was all she’d seen. The boy with the buzz cut broke in. “I saw ’em both leaving the gym.” Mr. Tanabe pieced the two bits of information together and decided that both of them must have made it home. “Right… Okay then!” He slammed the van’s sliding back door shut, asked the janitor to lock up the school, and climbed into the driver’s seat. The van bounced over a puddle and headed out of the parking lot. A thick mist hung over the beech forest, and the rain had slowed to a drizzle. “Hff…pff…hff…” Hana was gasping for breath, having been searching for Ame on the mountain for more than two hours. She was exhausted from hiking in the storm, and the slightest incline left her winded. “Hff…pff…hff… Ack!” Her foot slipped. Splash! Before she knew it, she was knee-deep in a puddle. Raindrops created a jumble of ripples around her leg. She crawled, groaning, out of the water, her hood pushed back from the force of her plunge. With each step, water sloshed noisily in her rubber boots. It was disgusting. She had to empty them. She sat down against the base of a beech tree and tried to pull off one of the boots, but her weak hands kept slipping and making it difficult to get off. Finally, she succeeded. Her bare foot was soaked and pruny. She had rushed out of the house without socks or tights on. She held the boot upside down to drain the muddy water, then put it back on. Just this small effort had her panting again. As she prepared to attempt the second boot, she heard something moving. Rustle…rustle… Far away through the mist, she glimpsed what looked like a human form behind a beech tree. “…Ame!!” She jumped up and made a beeline for him. There was no way a hiker would be out on an unknown mountain trail in this weather—it had to be Ame. She stepped off the trail into the dense forest. Ignoring the bushes clawing at her feet, she flung herself into her pursuit. “Ame!!” Rustle. It was hard to see through the mist, but it definitely looked like Ame. He stepped into the shadow of a tree, probably still oblivious to her. “Wait…wait!” She yelled as loud as she could. It was hard to push through the thick undergrowth and tree shoots, but her joy at finding him carried her feet forward. As she drew closer, the silhouette came into focus. “Ame…!” She was so glad to find him safe. Let’s go home now. Let’s go get Yuki. Just then… Splash! Her foot landed in another puddle, and she froze. “…!!” Very slowly, she pulled back her leaf-plastered rubber boot. The form slowly emerging from the shadow of the beech tree was not that of a human. It was a full-grown black bear. FSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!! Suddenly, the rain was pelting down again. Hana stared dumbfounded at the bear and began backing away with extreme care, all the way into the branch of a young beech tree where she dislodged a shower of raindrops. Then her back hit the trunk, and she could retreat no farther. Still, she knew she must not take her eyes off the bear. It slowly turned its gaze toward her. Water was dripping from its chin. The bear was far bigger than she had imagined. Conceptually, she knew that black bears were not as ferocious as brown bears, but faced with a real one, her legs turned to jelly nevertheless. The fear paralyzed her. A drop of water rolled down her chin and fell to the ground. All she could do was stare. She had never seen a real black bear before. When they first moved to the country, a town employee had warned her that one reason so many houses were empty was that bears and boars and monkeys had started coming down from the mountain and damaging the crops. A bear could happen anytime, he’d said. In fact, she often heard stories from other villagers about bears barging into houses, and a good number of people had been seriously injured in bear attacks. Usually, boars or bears that attacked people were exterminated by the town’s Department of Wildlife Control. Mr. Horita was one of the hunters the department hired to do the job, which meant Hana had seen dead bears any number of times. Mr. Horita had joked that if she ever saw a bear, she should call him, and he’d come running with his shotgun to save her. Still, over the past seven years, she’d never encountered a live bear, let alone lost her fields to one. She figured the wolf smell from Ame and Yuki prevented other wild animals from coming near, but she suspected that wasn’t the only reason they’d been spared—it seemed more as if the bears had avoided invading their living space out of a kind of respect. Grandpa Nirasaki had told her that in the old days, when the countryside was well maintained, bears and people had an unspoken agreement as to who lived where, and encounters were rare. If she had accidentally recreated a similar arrangement with her mountain lifestyle, then it would make sense that she never saw one. But this was another matter altogether. Hana had invaded the bear’s living space for a reason that would be unthinkable under normal circumstances. If something happened, all she could do was give in to her fate… The bear kept its eyes fixed on Hana. Perhaps only a few seconds passed, but to Hana, they felt like minutes or even hours. “—” Just then… Pitapatapitapata… The rain suddenly lifted. “Kreeee!” The bear heard the noise and looked to the side, where two cubs came bounding out of the undergrowth. “…!” Hana listened in a daze as they squealed. One of them glanced at her but continued on its way, apparently uninterested. The other nosed at the larger bear and grunted as if to prod it on. The larger bear still seemed on guard but eventually gave in to the cubs’ urging and lumbered away into the mist. A mother bear. Yes, Hana was sure of it—that was a mother. She must have lost her cubs in the storm and gone looking for them. And happily, she had found them. But what about Hana herself? What was she doing out here? “…Ame.” As she whispered his name, the strength drained all at once from her body. She slid down the beech trunk she had been leaning against and sank onto the ground. “…Ame…where are you?” For a while, she didn’t move. Already evening was nearing. Reflecting the blue light from outside, the desktops looked almost as though they were floating in the air. Souhei opened his eyes. He had been sleeping facedown in the dark classroom. He slowly stood, yawned, and stretched, then glanced at the door and yelped. “…Ahhhh!! What are you doing here!” Yuki stood in wide-eyed surprise, unsure how to respond. “Well…you were taking forever.” When they got back to the gym, everyone was gone. The cold light from the mercury lamps reflected off the empty floor. “Huh? Where is everyone? Did they all go home?” “I guess we’re the only ones without anyone coming for us,” Souhei said, grabbing his abandoned backpack. Yuki picked hers up, too. “…I wonder if something happened to my mom.” She knew her mother would never forget to pick her up. They must have missed each other, or else there was some reason Hana couldn’t get there. Yuki tried to think of what that would be, but she couldn’t. “…It’s cold.” She rubbed her arms, bare in her sleeveless dress. “Let’s take a look around,” Souhei said. He glanced at her and headed toward the exit. She stayed behind, her worry clear on her face. “Yuki.” Souhei was calling her. She snapped back to the present and jogged after him. “Hey, wait for me.” They wandered around the desolate school. All the lights had been turned off in the hallways, leaving only the blue glow from the windows and the red of the emergency lights. They glimpsed a chilly-looking cot through the open door to the school clinic. Outside the dining hall, a stainless steel food delivery trolley glistened dully. The schedule scrawled on the blackboard outside the staff room seemed to belong to a different universe. Everything about the empty school felt lonely. Thunder rolled in the distance. “What will we do if they don’t come for us?” Yuki asked. “We could live at school.” “That’s impossible.” “At night, we could sleep in the clinic.” “What would we eat?” “Leftover school lunches.” “If they never come for us? We’d just live at school forever?” “We could get jobs. Like delivering papers or something.” “We’re kids. No one’s going to hire us.” “We’ll lie about our age. We’ll say we’re in junior high.” Their reflections hovered in the big mirror over the landing on the main staircase. Souhei looked at himself. “Do we look like we’re in junior high?” Yuki looked in the mirror, too, and saw a thin, helpless child staring back. No way would she pass for a kid in junior high. “…Nope.” “Really?” Souhei craned his neck at his reflection. Yuki disentangled her finger from a lock of hair and mumbled at her own despondent reflection. “…I wish I could hurry up and become an adult.” Souhei looked at her, then turned back to himself. “Me too.” “Hff…pff…hff…” Dozens of leaves clung to Hana’s raincoat. “Hff…pff…hff…” The path was a minefield of puddles sucking at her feet. She leaned against the slope, its rocks and mud laid bare by the pelting rain, just managing to stay upright. “Hff…pff…hff…” The path was too narrow to even call it a hiking trail, hardly wide enough for one person to scale the steep slope. The earth had been washed away, leaving roots exposed. The birch trees grew densely all the way to the base of the bluff, and their twisted brown trunks reminded her of the bones of a deformed animal. She had heard they were the first trees to grow in the highlands after some great cataclysm—which meant this place where she stood now had been wiped out once in the past, too. She must have climbed quite high. She had been roaming the mountain for a long time, searching without luck for Ame, and she realized she was lost. She had no idea where she was walking. Her vision was so blurred she could hardly see in front of her. And she was cold. “Hff…pff…hff…” Ame… Where was he? Ame… Just then, her foot slipped on the slick root of a birch tree. “—?!” She snapped out of her daze and looked down the steep bluff. But as she did… Bambambambam! She began sliding helplessly toward the ravine bottom. She clawed desperately at the dirt, but she couldn’t stop. She stretched her hands out frantically. Slap! They hit something—a birch sapling, and she just barely managed to grab on to one of its branches. As the branch bent, its leaves sent a shower of raindrops onto Hana’s muddy face. “Hff…pff…hff…” She was panting hard. If she slipped any farther, she wouldn’t be able to get back up. She gathered all her strength and reached out her other hand. “Ooof…! …Urgh!” By stretching as far as she possibly could, she managed to curl her fingers around the branch. “Hff…pff…hff…” She wrung the last ounce of strength from her body to crawl upward. She could hear the birch creaking as it bent under her, and she could feel her hand beginning to slip. She clenched it as hard as she could. “Urgh…uffff…!!” The next instant, the tension was gone under her hands. “?!” The birch sapling supporting all her weight had been uprooted. After that, everything happened very quickly. She tumbled head over heels down the drenched slope, her body slamming against bushes and small trees, her skin tearing against the branches. But nothing stopped her descent. The branches snapped noisily. Bambambambambam…!!!! Eventually, the sound died away. All that remained was the pounding of the rain. “…Ah…ugh…” Hana groaned weakly at the bottom of the cliff, hidden by trees. Her whole body throbbed with a peculiar feeling somewhere between pain and numbness. She tried to move her hand and realized she couldn’t. Again, she tried, with all her effort, but she managed only the slightest twitch of her fingers. The effort drained the last of her energy as the rain picked up again. The world grew hazy, till she could no longer make out shapes, and suddenly everything was very cold. Her lips quivered from the chill. From within her delirium, she thought of Ame. “…Ame…are you shivering…somewhere…? Are you crying…because you can’t go home…?” When she thought about it, she realized just how many things had frightened him since he was small. He was a crybaby, such a fragile child, and sickly and stubborn, too. And despite all that, a mama’s boy… I’m all he has. “…I have to…protect…him…” The raindrops beat against her body mercilessly. “…I have to…protect…” Those were her last words before she lost consciousness. The janitor was checking the door of each classroom to make sure it was locked. His flashlight lit up the landing of the main staircase. No one was there. The door to the sixth-grade classroom opened with a bang. “Anyone in here?” His voice echoed through the darkness, but only silence answered him. The beam swung across the classroom, and soon after, the door banged shut. His squeaky footsteps receded down the hall. Souhei poked his head out from under the desk where he had been hiding, then jumped out into the dark. “…He’s gone,” he whispered. Yuki peeked out from beneath another desk. She stood up and looked toward the door, her hands pressed to her chest. “…My heart’s still pounding…” She peered at Souhei. “Hey, why did we hide?” He was kneeling on a desk to look out the window. He didn’t reply. “Souhei?” “—” He still didn’t answer. Yuki gave up and looked out the window. Water covered the whole playground. The wind carved across its surface, sending out sets of ripples. Like the ocean, Yuki thought. She felt like the deep blue might swallow her up. The rain blurred the far side of the playground, as if the storm had swept away the whole school and now they really were floating at sea. Countless raindrops slid slowly down the windowpane. She felt as though she was standing miles and miles and miles from home. If that was the case… “Maybe we really will live here forever, in secret.” “If our parents don’t come, we won’t have a choice.” “What do you mean? I’m sure your mom will come.” Yuki pictured his mother, remembering how fiercely she had attacked Hana that day at school. “No, she won’t.” “Why not? I mean—” Yuki caught her breath midsentence. The rumor she’d heard came suddenly back to her. As if he could read her mind, Souhei answered evenly, still fixated on the window. “My mom got married. She’s pregnant now. She said once the baby comes, she won’t need me anymore.” Yuki was speechless. Was that even possible? “…But she was so worried about you back then…!” “I don’t actually care.” “—” “I’m gonna run away and become a soccer player or a wrestler. I’ll be a lone wolf.” He climbed down from the desk. “Whaddaya think? Think I’ll make it?” Yuki didn’t know how to respond to his half-serious, half-joking question. She barely managed a wry half smile. “…You wouldn’t last five minutes. You’re so skinny!” “I’ll work out. I’ll get buff and live by myself.” He looked out the window again. Yuki’s smile faded. “—” Souhei slowly brought his steely eyes back to her. Then suddenly, he laughed, flashing his white teeth. “Hee-hee-hee!” He seemed to be telling her it was their little secret. Yuki’s chest tightened. “…!!” She was so miserable she could hardly stand it. She lowered her head and pressed a hand to her chest—the reason for her pain. Something had budded in her heart, and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what it was. “…Souhei…I wish I was like you. I wish I could tell the truth and keep on smiling.” Really, she was talking to herself. She made up her mind. The next instant, she reached out and opened the aluminum window. Whooooosh!! A gust of wind blew into the classroom, billowing under the lace curtain. “—?” As Souhei looked up, Yuki closed her eyes and let the raindrops blow against her whole body. “—” She slowly raised her head to face Souhei through the rolling waves of the curtain. “Souhei…” He looked back in astonishment. The wind had whipped Yuki’s long hair into a beautiful tangle. “…Back then, the wolf that hurt you was me.” Ever so quietly, she made her confession, and then she showed him her real self. A wolf. Wolf Yuki. “…It was me.” Souhei stared at her. She bit her lip before continuing to speak, still in wolf form. “This whole time, I’ve been wanting to tell you.” He kept watching her as she returned to her human form and spoke again, now an ordinary girl. “…It’s been so hard.” The blowing raindrops looked like tears on her face. Suddenly, Souhei said, “…I knew. I knew the whole time.” The calm reply startled Yuki. “…?!” He lifted his face and closed his eyes. “I haven’t told anyone your secret. I won’t tell anyone.” He opened them and met Yuki’s. “So…don’t cry.” “—!” As soon as she heard those words, her eyes welled and overflowed. Everything she had kept inside, all the weight she had borne, everything she had hidden—it was all coming to the surface. She didn’t know how to stop the tears, so she smiled as big as she could and shook her head. She didn’t want him to see her like this. “…Ha-ha…I’m not crying. These are just raindrops…” Tears mixed with rain and rolled down her cheeks. She hid behind the billowing curtain and wiped her face, but they just kept coming. As she wiped them away, she realized she had to tell him one more thing. Two words. She turned her tear-stained face straight toward him. Souhei— “Thank you.” FSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH…!! The rain beat down on the soaked playground harder than ever. How much time had passed? Rain poured softly onto the birch trees. In the darkness, thousands of ripples quietly spread outward and disappeared, and in the center of them lay Hana’s body. Leaves and branches and mud clung to her torn raincoat. Fresh cuts and bruises covered her face and hands. Her eyes had remained closed since she lost consciousness. Splash…splash… Something was coming closer. Splash…! Reflected in a pool of water, the form bent low over Hana’s face. She did not wake from her sleep. Hana was dreaming. In the soft sunlight, flowers swayed in a gentle breeze. “Ame…where did you go…? Ame…?” Wearing her blue dress of so long ago, Hana searched calmly for Ame. When she turned around, she saw a form on the far side of the hill. “…?” It was Ame, his back to her, buffeted by the wind. “Ame…!” Hana stepped toward him, her skirt billowing. “…I was looking for you. Let’s hurry and get Yuki—” As the wind blew softly between them, Hana realized something. The faraway form turning toward her… It was him. “…Hana,” he said in his kind voice. “…!” Unable to believe what was happening, she stood staring, but there was no mistake. It was him. “…!!” She broke into a wide grin, bounded toward him like a fawn, and leaped into his arms. “…I’ve wanted to be with you again for so long…!!” He drew her softly to him. His familiar smell surrounded her, and his body was so warm. In his low voice, he said, “You’ve been through so much because of me… I’m sorry.” “…No.” She shook her head, brushing her face against his chest. He bent down to match her height. “…I’ve been watching you the whole time.” “I know.” Tears of happiness spilled from her eyes. He nuzzled his forehead against hers. “You’ve raised the children well,” he said, caressing her hair. How long had it been since someone did that? “No, I haven’t. I’ve made so many mistakes.” She shook her head, her forehead still pressed against his. He peered into her eyes. “I mean it. Yuki and Ame have both grown up beautifully.” “But…” Hana opened her eyes, realizing something midsentence. “Ame… Ame’s gone.” She slowly stepped away from him and walked over the hill, looking around and calling aimlessly. “Ame!” “Ame will be fine.” “But…” She looked at him, still worried. He smiled gently in the soft breeze. “He’s fine. He’s an adult now.” She turned toward him, astonished. “…An adult?” She had not fully digested the meaning of the words. His eyes were kind as the wind blew between them again. “He’s found his own world.” Swish…swish…swish… Still unconscious, Hana was carried through the misty morning forest in a pair of strong arms. No human could have found her where she was on the mountain, and yet she had been rescued. By the time she reached the village, the storm had let up entirely. Morning was dawning when her body was laid gently in a parking lot at the base of the mountain. Her rescuer turned and headed back toward the mountain. “…Ngh…owww.” Hana awoke with a start. At first, she couldn’t open her eyes, but she groaned and sat up. All of her joints ached terribly. Finally, her groggy vision registered a blurry image. In the distance, a figure was walking toward the mountain. “Ame…” It was definitely him. Now fully awake, she widened her eyes. “Ame!” she called, trying to stop him. He stopped and looked toward her. “—” It was the biggest wolf she had ever seen. Ame. Wolf Ame. She couldn’t stop herself from asking. “…You’re really going?” “—” Wolf Ame stared back at his mother with an unwavering gaze. Tears pooled in Hana’s eyes. “But…I still haven’t done anything for you.” “…!” As if in response, wolf Ame turned fully toward Hana. Tears spilled down her cheeks. “I haven’t done anything…and still…” “?!” Wolf Ame gazed at Hana, as if he couldn’t stand seeing her in such a state. The wind ruffled his mane as if to express the emotion. He opened his mouth, seeming to want to say something. “—” But then, he closed it again slowly, and his eyes regained their calm. The wind died away. As if that were his signal, wolf Ame swiftly turned around. Whoosh! Before Hana could say a word, he had raced across the parking lot and bounded over the fence. “!” For the first time, Hana looked up at the soaring cliff in front of her. Snowmelt thundered straight down from the summit of the rugged mass of stone, carved by a glacier, perhaps a mile wide and half a mile high. It seemed to announce that the land was not meant for human trespass. Indeed, even its nickname was “The Demon’s Castle.” Wolf Ame raced up this awesome precipice with lightning speed. “Wait…!! Ame!!” She stood up unsteadily, but a sharp pain shot through her leg and sent her to her knees. Although she could follow him only with her eyes, she stretched her arms toward him. Wolf Ame doubled back along the cliff face, scaling the rock with powerful strides. He slipped past the huge trees and leaped across the waterfall. In the blink of an eye, Hana lost sight of him. “…Ame!!” She screamed and screamed his name, reaching upward with all her strength. Of course, she couldn’t reach the cliff towering far above the clouds, but still her battered hand reached upward. “Ame…!” Her fingers strained to grab hold of the sky. “…!!” Suddenly, the strength drained from her body, and she slumped on the ground. The pain of loss stabbed deep into her heart. Ame was already beyond her reach. He would probably never return to his human form again. She could do no more for him—nothing at all. “Ame… Ame…” A sob escaped her chest. The cliff looked coldly down on her. And then, at its summit, Ame the Wolf appeared. He stood at the stony origin of the waterfall, lifted his head toward the heavens, and howled with such force the air itself trembled. AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! “Ah!” Startled, Hana looked up. The morning sun was rising from behind the eastern mountains as if the great howl had called it forth. AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! It shone on Ame the Wolf as he faced the wind and howled mightily. His fur glistened brilliantly in the sunlight. “…” Hana was completely lost in this vision, this blessing. The pain of loss faded, and in its place, a wonderful strength surged through her whole body. AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Tears spilled from her eyes as memories of her boy came flooding back to her. The sound of rain in early spring. The shrine where she held him as he cried through the night. The field of reed grass where he hung his head and sobbed. The day when she desperately tried to warm his icy body by the side of the river, their first snow… She could never forget these tender memories, nor could she measure the joy he had brought her. “Take care…,” she murmured. And then she gave him her biggest smile. “Live well!!!” The strong morning sunbeams illuminated the whole world as the last echoes of his howls faded away. He looked slowly down at Hana. The wind picked up. She smiled confidently up at him. He was a magnificent, powerful, full-grown wolf, but his eyes were still the familiar eyes of Ame. His fur glinted golden as the wind ruffled it. Hana smiled a pure, clear smile and whispered once again: “…Take care…” The wolf returned her gaze as if in acknowledgment, then jumped lightly over the top of the waterfall and disappeared across the cliff. Hana was left alone in the empty parking lot. The puddles on the asphalt reflected a bright sky. She stood for a long time staring at the spot from which the wolf had vanished. She knew she would never forget what had happened that morning. The beech leaves had been washed clean, and the spiderwebs, and the sky. All of it glittered under the sun as if, Hana thought, the world had been reborn overnight. The cycle of seasons advanced, and summer arrived in earnest. Magnificent thunderheads formed a powerful mass in the pleasant blue sky. Hana’s house had completed its summer transformation. The garden was awash in brilliantly colored flowers. No one was in the entryway with its doors thrown open wide. No one was in the big main room. No one was in the kitchen. On the refrigerator, magnets held letters and pictures, and among them was one of Yuki, wearing her junior high uniform and joking around with her new friends with a brilliant smile. Yuki had left home that year to live in the junior high dorm. Hana herself had suggested the move. Yuki had asked if her mother would be lonely all by herself, but Hana had assured her that she wouldn’t. After all, even if Yuki and Ame lived apart from her, she would still be their mother. Her face completely content, Hana had laughed and told Yuki that when she looked back on these twelve years, they seemed to have passed in an instant, like a fairy tale. It felt like looking at a distant mountain peak, she’d said. The way Hana smiled then made Yuki very happy. Hana still lives a quiet life alone in her mountain house. Yuki’s desk still stands in the study, now tidy. Ame’s desk stands beside it, just like it did back then. Their stuffed wolves still sit on the desks. Sometimes, if she listens carefully, Hana can just barely make out a lupine howl, carried to her on the wind from the mountains far away. And that, she thinks with a smile, is enough. The day Hana met him was a beautiful, fresh summer day just like this one. When she thinks back now to the girl who didn’t find it the least bit strange to fall in love with a wolfman, that girl seems quite extraordinary to her. She eats her delicious grilled chicken skewers by herself and places one next to his driver’s license. (The End)