Chapter 10

CHAPTER NINE Clear Skies That night, I had a dream. I dreamed about something that happened when I was still on the island. That day, I was pedaling as hard as I could to cancel out the pain from where my dad had hit me. It had been raining on the island then, too. Thick rain clouds were rolling across the sky, but several rays of light lanced down through gaps in the cloud cover. I wanted to get out of there, to get into that light, and I biked down the coastal road for all I was worth. For just a moment, I thought I had it! …But I was at the edge of a seaside cliff, and the sunlight flowed away, far out to sea. I’ll go into that light, I decided then… And when I did, I found you. * * * That night, I had a dream. I dreamed about the day I first saw you. You were all by yourself in that McDonald’s late at night, and you reminded me of a lost kitten. But that lost kitten was the one who found the meaning in my life. I met you and started working. Every time I caused a sunburst, more people smiled, and I continued my work as a sunshine girl because those smiles made me happy. It wasn’t anybody’s fault; it was a choice I made. Even if I realized too late to turn back…meeting you made me really happy. If I hadn’t met you, I couldn’t have loved myself or the world as much as I do now. Right now, you’re sleeping next to me, exhausted after crying so much. There are tear tracks on your cheeks. Outside the window, I can hear fierce rain and thunder like a distant drum. There’s a small ring on my left hand. A present you gave me, the first ring I’ve ever gotten—and probably the last. Softly, I lay my hand over yours as you sleep. I can feel its gentle warmth, like the sun at night. Before long, like waves are rippling out from our layered hands, I can feel myself becoming one with everything. My boundaries are dissolving into the world. A peculiar happiness and keen sorrow spread all through me. I don’t want this, I think, even as euphoria fills me. Not yet. I haven’t told you anything yet. I haven’t said Thank you, or I love you. I frantically rake my spreading, thinning consciousness together, try to bind my thoughts and emotions to myself somehow. I speak. I find my throat, then try to remember the sensation of air against it. Hodaka. “Hodaka.” My voice is small and hoarse, sending only the tiniest vibrations into the air. “Hodaka, Hodaka, so—” I can’t even feel my throat anymore. I’m disappearing. I’m vanishing. I summon up the last of my strength, trying to make my words reach your ears. “Don’t cry, Hodaka.” “!” My eyes open. I’ve been asleep. Dreaming. Slowly, I sit up. Everything around me is covered in bright-white fog. A fine mist is falling with a noise like thin sheets of paper softly rubbing together. …What was I doing? I can’t remember. The only thing inside me is the vestige of something that’s been diluted with water. For the past little while, transparent fish have been drifting around me. As I gaze absently at the sky fish, I suddenly notice something’s there. There’s no temperature within my body—except for one place that’s just a little bit warm. It’s the ring finger of my left hand. I hold it up in front of my eyes. There’s a small silver wing wrapped around it. “…Hodaka.” My lips move. Hodaka? The word warms my whole body, just a little. Splish. With a startlingly loud sound, a raindrop falls onto my left hand. My hand, made of water, trembles lightly and swallows the drop. Splish, splish, plish. Raindrops fall, one after another. My outline shivers as ripples spread all through me, colliding with other ripples to create still more. If I keep rippling this badly, my body’s going to break down. My anxiety grows. Just then, a raindrop strikes my aqueous ring finger, and the ring slips through it, as if the water has pushed it off me. “Aaah!” Impulsively, I grab the falling ring with my right hand. “!” But the ring slips through that hand, too, and vanishes into the ground. Despair rises in me, and for a moment, I remember you vividly as my feelings burst into color again—but then they fade and melt away, leaving only a pale sadness behind. I don’t even know what’s making me sad anymore, but still I cry and cry. The fish keep flitting around me, silently. Before long, the rain stops, and the mist begins to lift. I’m on a grassy plain. Above me is a blue and perfectly clear sky. The rustling plain shines in the dazzling sunlight. I am in a field on top of a cloud, invisible to anyone on the surface of the earth. I am blue and white; I am wind and water. I’ve become part of the world, and without any joy or sorrow, like any other natural phenomenon, I simply shed my tears. * * * I woke up with a jolt. My heart was thudding away chaotically. My temples were pulsing so hard I worried they’d burst open. I was sweating heavily all over. The sound of my own blood surged in my ears like a muddy torrent. I was looking up at a ceiling I didn’t recognize. Where am I? I thought, and gradually, the noise in my ears weakened enough to let me pick up different sounds. The twittering of sparrows. The noise of cars. The faint voices of people. The sounds of a town in the morning. Hina. Suddenly, I remembered everything. I looked over to where Hina had been sleeping next to me. “…!” All that was there was her bathrobe, like a cast-off shell. Hina had disappeared. “Hina! Hina, where are you?!” I jumped out of bed. I checked the washroom, peeked into the bathroom, even opened the closet. She wasn’t anywhere. “Hodaka, what’s the matter?” Master Nagi was awake, rubbing his eyes; he sounded anxious. “Hina’s not here! I can’t find her!” “Huh?!” Nagi’s startled expression abruptly shifted into sorrow. “…I was dreaming up until just a minute ago.” “Huh?” “I dreamed my sister was praying for good weather. Then she rose into the air and disappeared into the sky…” I gulped. The image of Hina rising into the sky from the torii on the abandoned building surfaced in my mind as if I’d just seen it. Come to think of it, I’d had the same dream— Bam, bam! Suddenly, someone pounded on the door. “Open up! Open this door!” a man’s deep voice called. That voice— As I desperately tried to remember, the lock released with a click, and the door opened. Police officers entered, still wearing their shoes. There was a male officer in uniform, a female officer, and a big man in a suit and a regent-style pompadour. “You’re Hodaka Morishima, correct?” Pompadour planted himself in front of me, holding up his police ID. His eyes were chilly. “As you’re probably aware, you’ve been reported missing. You’re also suspected of illegal possession of a firearm and explosives. Would you come down to the station with us?” I couldn’t answer. There was nowhere to run. Just then, Master Nagi shouted. “—Lemme go, hey, let go!” “It’s all right, come on. Let’s go together.” The lady police officer had just caught Nagi as he tried to get away from her on the bed. “Nagi!” I tried to run over to help him, but a jolt of intense pain ran through my arm, and somebody shoved my face into the bed. “Settle down,” an irritable voice said from above me. Pompadour had twisted my arm up behind my back. When they hauled me out of the hotel, I felt blinded. A bright sun illuminated the town in sharp contrast. The sunlight shone as white as an overexposed photograph, and the deep, dark shadows were like gaping holes in the picture. Above me, the sky was a vivid, cloudless blue—too blue, almost fake looking. This blue sky was a counterfeit. The glaring sun stabbed violently at my eyes until they stung and watered. Everywhere, the cicadas were singing in a manic frenzy. It felt like being harassed by a whole crowd at once. “Come on, walk,” Pompadour said over his shoulder. The uniformed police officer was right on my heels. When they pushed me out onto the asphalt, I stepped into ankle-deep water. The whole road was covered. The entire town was one giant puddle. “They said it’ll be a few more days before the water drains from the city center,” the officer said behind me, a note of kindness in his voice. “None of the trains are running, and central Tokyo’s a mess, but it sure is nice to see blue sky, isn’t it? I hear the sun’s out over the entire Kanto region for the first time in three months.” Blinking back the pain in my eyes, I glared at the sky. I searched that perfectly spotless blue for some trace of her. I couldn’t believe it was true, and yet I’d known this would happen—the two feelings spun around and around in my head. “Hurry up, move it!” Pompadour snapped from where he stood beside the patrol car. “!” Just then, something glinted overhead. I strained my eyes. There it was again. A small something fell near my feet with a tiny splash. I crouched, putting my hand into the water. “Hey, what are you doing?” Pompadour sounded irritated. “…Aaah!” My skin crawled—it was a ring. The thing that had come falling down from the sky was a little silver wing-shaped ring, the one I’d slipped onto Hina’s finger. Hina, a sacrifice…? “Hina! It’s not true, right?!” Without thinking, I straightened up. “Hey!” The uniformed policeman grabbed my shoulder. I didn’t care; I tried to run. The officer pinned both of my arms in a nelson hold, but I struggled and yelled at the sky for all I was worth. “Hina, come back! Hina, Hinaaaa!” But the sky didn’t so much as tremble. My voice just disappeared into the transparent expanse. “…All right.” In the seat next to me, Pompadour heaved a big sigh, as if this was all a big hassle to him. “Have you decided to calm down?” The police car was driving slowly over the flooded streets. “We’ll get the details at the station, but there’s something we need to confirm now.” I was looking down, and I didn’t respond. Pompadour didn’t care as he went on. “Hina Amano, the girl who ran away with you last night. She’s fifteen, right?” “Huh…?” I raised my head in spite of myself. Pompadour was eyeing me with total disinterest. “Any idea where she might have gone?” “Hina’s fifteen…? Not eighteen?” Pompadour’s eyebrows rose slightly. “She lied about her age on the résumés she sent to the places where she worked part-time. I’m sure she did it to keep the bills paid, but Hina Amano is still in her third year of middle school. She hasn’t finished her compulsory education.…You didn’t know that?” “Oh, come on…” The words slipped out. “So I was the oldest one this whole time.” I heard Pompadour tsk, and I realized tears were rolling down my face. “All right, kid,” the detective said, making no attempt to hide his impatience. “I’m asking you if you have any idea where she went.” The inside of my chest flared hot, like it was on fire. This—this was rage. I was furious. “Where’s Hina?” I glared at Pompadour. “Hina’s gone. It’s how we got this weather. But nobody knows anything; they’re just enjoying it like a bunch of idiots…!” Tears were working their way up again. Crying was all I’d been doing lately. It was pathetic, and I pulled my knees up to my chest. “It just isn’t fair…” The words slipped out like something a petulant little kid would say, which made me tear up even more. “We don’t have time for this…” “You think we’ll need an expert medical witness?” The detectives were whispering together. Outside the window of the patrol car, the sun-drenched city flowed past, glinting and glaring. * * * My head was throbbing with every heartbeat. Lately, even a good night’s sleep wasn’t enough to get all the booze out of my system. I’d only just woken up, but I was already limp and worn out. On top of that, the world outside the window was so blinding, I couldn’t get my eyes to focus. But I couldn’t stop staring at the TV. Rubbing my eyes, I flipped through channel after channel. News reporters are generally supposed to just, y’know, report, but right now, every single one of ’em was over the moon. “For what must be the first time in several months, the sun is out over the whole Kanto Plain!” On TV, the skyscrapers in the city center looked almost like gravestones with sharp lines between the light and shadows. On another channel, kids were running around on a watery street. “Last night’s heavy rains seem like a dream. As of eight o’clock in the morning, the temperature is over seventy-five degrees—” “There is flooding in many areas, centered on the Arakawa River region. The depth of the water ranges from roughly four inches in some areas to nearly twenty inches in low-lying—” “Operations are suspended on all urban JR and private railway lines, and efforts to restore service are underway. We still don’t have a complete picture of the damage done last night, but it sounds as though it will be at least a few days before the transportation infrastructure is restored—” “Still, spirits are high under the first clear blue sky in ages!” True, everyone out on the street was wearing a smile. Does the weather really change people’s moods this much? I mused absently, as if this had nothing to do with me. As for me—I wasn’t real happy at all for some reason. For the past little while, I’d felt a strange twinge of regret, the kind you feel when you step on a bug and kill it without meaning to. You feel it, too, don’t you? I wanted to ask Natsumi, but she was out. I heaved a big sigh. No point in dwelling on feelings without a cause. Or listening to strangers celebrate. I switched off the TV and stood up, then wandered over to the window. Water had built up in the window well; it looked like an aquarium out there. The office was in a half basement, and there was about three feet of rainwater between the glass and the concrete wall outside. The window’s thin sash had cracks in several places, and water was trickling in. Without giving it any real thought, I set my fingers on the frame. Thanks to the water pressure, it didn’t budge. I put a little more force into my fingers. The glass suddenly shattered, and water poured into the office. The stream knocked down the pile of books by the window, washing documents far back into the room. I stared at it, dumbfounded. By the time the water finally stopped coming in, the office was flooded ankle-deep. “Daddy, did you look outside?!” When I answered the phone, the call was from Moka. The voice of a little kid is like a breath of life itself, I thought, the way I did every time I heard it. “It’s sunny! Amazing, huh?! Hey, I wanna go to the park again!” I could hear the joy in her voice. Kids her age were so lucky—believing everything in the world was put there just for you, certain that when you smiled, the whole world smiled right along with you; convinced that when you cried, the world was out to get you. When had I lost it? Wonder if the kid—if Hodaka ever outgrew it? “—Yeah,” I said. “Daddy’d love to take you to the park today. Try asking your grandma, Moka.” “’kay! Oh, hey, Daddy? Yesterday, I had an amazing dream!” “Hmm? What about?” Even as I asked, a chill ran up my arms. Damn, and I was trying so hard to ignore it. “I dreamed Hina was praying for sun!” I knew it. I finally gave up and remembered. That’s right; I’d had a dream, too. The sunshine girl was rising into the sky from the roof of a building with a torii gate on it. And out of nowhere, I wondered. Had everybody in Tokyo had that same dream? Somewhere in their hearts, did they all know this sky had cost somebody’s life? “…Oh yeah? Maybe she did,” I replied hoarsely. In my mind, I told myself it couldn’t possibly be true, pressing the words into my mind like the forceful strokes of a ballpoint pen. * * * The patrol car stopped outside a police station right by Ikebukuro Station. They dragged me out of the car, then marched me through the building with one police officer in front of me and another one behind me and into a gloomy hallway lined with doors all close together. The plates beside the doors read INTERROGATION ROOM. “…Um, Mr. Detective?” I asked, bracing myself. “…What?” Pompadour turned around, glowering coldly down at me. I drew a deep, deliberate breath, then blurted out the speech I’d prepared in the patrol car. “I—I want you to let me go look for Hina. She’s helped me out all this time, and it’s my turn to go help her. Once I find her, I’ll come right back here, I swear, so—” “We’ll listen to what you have to say…” As Pompadour spoke, his expression didn’t change even a hair. He opened the door in front of me. “…inside. Move!” A hand pushed my back, and my feet carried me inside. It was a cramped interrogation room, like the ones you see on TV shows. There was a small table, a lamp, and two folding metal chairs facing each other. Behind me, the detective and the officer were talking in low voices. “Where’s Yasui?” “He’s checking out the Yamabuki-cho angle.” “Tell him we’re about to start the inquiry.” “Understood, sir.” Impulsively, I made up my mind. I lowered my head, ducked out of the room between the door and the officer, then booked it back the way we’d come. “Wha…?! Hey, stop!” A second later, I heard an angry yell behind me, but I didn’t look back and leaped down the stairs. I put my hands out, catching myself on the landing, then ran on down to the first floor. “Catch that kid!” Several people looked at me, startled. The station wasn’t big, and if I got through the lobby right in front of me, I’d be at the exit. “Stop!” A security guard with a wooden sword sprang out from beside the exit, and as I tried to avoid him, my foot slipped. “Aaaaaaugh!” I fell, but by sheer accident, I slid right between the guard’s legs. Scrambling to my feet, I dashed out into the street, paying no attention to the traffic. Several car horns blared, and someone yelled “Damn idiot!” from a truck that had been making a left. I ignored them and ran for dear life, without even a glance over my shoulder. I was as shocked as anyone as I ran: Are you kidding me?! It was a miracle; I’d escaped from a police station. At this rate, though, they’d catch me again before long. I needed some sort of transportation. I spotted a bicycle on a corner I was passing, and I jumped onto it. I kicked up the stand, but as I tried to ride away, something caught with a jolt. The wheel was chained to the guardrail with a bike lock. “Dammit!” I was starting to panic. When I looked back the way I’d come, Pompadour was bearing down on me with a face like thunder. I glanced around frantically. There were uniformed officers coming out of the streets on both sides, too, trying to trap me between them. And just then— “Hodaka!” Startled, I turned toward the voice. A woman was speeding toward me on a pink Cub, a yellow scarf flapping behind her. “Wha—?!” It was Natsumi. She screeched to a halt right in front of me and yelled in confusion, “Kid, what on earth are you doing?!” “I’m going to where Hina is—!” Natsumi’s eyes widened in surprise, and then—unless I was seeing things, her lips turned up in a smile. “Get on!” “Stop, both of you!” Right in front of the detective, the bike took off with me on it. “Damn kid!” Pompadour’s yell receded behind us. Natsumi sped into a narrow alley. There was water on the road everywhere, and the Cub sent up big gouts of it as we went. Before I knew it, the brightness of the sun wasn’t stinging my eyes anymore. “Ms. Natsumi, why—?” As I spoke, I was clinging to her so I wouldn’t get thrown off by her rough driving. Natsumi answered without looking back. “I got a call from Nagi! He said Hina had disappeared, and you’d been arrested!” “Where is he?!” “In custody at the children’s welfare center.” Just then, I heard a police siren coming up behind us. “Don’t tell me they’re out here after us—” “This is hilarious!” Natsumi gave a rather hysterical laugh. Pulling on the goggles that had been sitting on top of her helmet, she said, “Guess we’re fugitives now!” and gunned the engine. “All right, kid, where we going?” She sounded like she was having the time of her life. The temperature was rising rapidly. The sharp wail of the police siren was coming closer, through the energetic chorus of cicadas. At the far edge of what I could see, the skyscrapers of Shinjuku shimmered like a reflection in water. * * * The building was next to a big park. I was expecting something less ordinary. Once I told the front desk why I was there, the receptionist said, “Please write your address and full name here,” and handed me a visitor list. I saw that the name Kana Sakura was written in the next space up. What a jerk! I thought. You can’t just steal somebody’s last name! As payback, I wrote Ayane Hanazawa and put down a fake address. “He’s a popular fellow,” commented the white-haired old guy at the front desk. “He just got here, but you’re already his second visitor.” “What, really?” I smiled and bowed, brushing my hair back behind my ears as it fell over my cheeks. Long hair is insanely annoying. The old guy seemed nice. He smiled at me and said, “Go ahead; you’re all set.” “Ayane! You came?” Nagi greeted me with a smile as I opened the door that said INTERVIEW ROOM. I was happy to see he looked as cheerful as usual. Yeah—no matter what’s going on, Nagi’s always fine. He’s been through more than anybody, but he’s still the kindest and smartest person ever. And I’m the one who knows that best. Kana was sitting primly opposite Nagi; she shot me a sneaky glare, then gave me a fake smile. I lifted my lips back at her. Nagi briskly introduced us to each other, since we hadn’t officially met before. “Kana, this is Ayane. Ayane, this is Kana.” I knew. We’d passed each other at the bus stop several times. Kana Hanazawa, with her long, soft hair, was in her fourth year of grade school, a year below me. Infuriatingly, she was Nagi’s current girlfriend. Still, I was the older one, so I had to be mature about it. “It’s nice to meet you,” I said cordially. “Nice to meet you, too,” Kana said, bowing modestly. Then Nagi gestured toward an adult who’d been sitting by the wall, blank-faced, the whole time. She was a young woman, much younger than I’d been imagining, but she had very stubborn-looking, thick eyebrows. Oh, so this person is— “This is Ms. Sasaki, a police officer. She’s the one who brought me here. She says she’ll stay with me all day today!” “What?! Wow, Nagi, you’re like a VIP!” I chirped in a particularly high-pitched voice to hide how much I hated that police lady. “Thank you for all your help!” Kana and I said in unison and bowed, and the police officer nodded back wordlessly. Mean old lady. “Thanks so much for coming, you two! I know it was pretty sudden. You were probably surprised.” Nagi was sitting on a kiddie chair. The room was small; it had a bookshelf with the kind of picture books you’d see at a library, along with building blocks and other toys. On the wall was a large poster that said Protecting Children’s Futures Together. “You can say that again!” we chorused. “Yeah, when I heard the government had you, I thought my heart would stop!” I said. “Seriously! My heart’s still pounding like you wouldn’t believe. Here, Nagi, feel!” Kana leaned forward. She’s telling him to touch her chest?! Ugh, this girl’s really going for it. The officer guarding us looked taken aback. “Ooooh, it really is!” I promptly said, grabbing Kana’s chest hard. Kana glared angrily up at me, and Nagi gave a charming laugh. The officer watched us, confused by our social dance. Kana’s heart really was racing. She was nervous, too. That was when Nagi sent Kana a swift wink, and Kana gave a small nod. It was the signal. Slowly, she walked over to stand in front of the police officer. “U-um…” She fidgeted and faltered, and the officer looked at her questioningly. “What’s the matter?” “Well, uh… This is the first time I’ve ever been on a visit like this, and I’m nervous…” “Yes…?” “Um… I gotta go…” “Oh!” The officer’s face broke into a relieved smile. So that’s what this is about, she was probably thinking. “Yes, yes, it’s this way.” The door clanked shut. The only ones in the room were Nagi and me. Finally! We both got up from our chairs and started to strip off our clothes. “Sorry, I really owe you one!” Nagi had already taken off his parka. He wasn’t smiling like usual, and I could tell he was nervous, too. “Geez, Nagi, what are you even doing? I can’t believe you called your ex-girlfriend for help!” I complained, taking off the shawl around my shoulders and my long wig. My actual hair was short, only about as long as Nagi’s. “I’m sorry for dragging you into this. But you were the only one I could count on, Ayane.” I knew that. To be honest, I was glad to hear from him. “There!” I hid my awkwardness behind a moody pout and handed the wig to Nagi, then unfastened the belt on my dress. “Turn around. I’m taking this off, too!” Please let Project: Rescue Nagi go well. I hoped the gods would hear my wish as I stripped off the dress. * * * When did this little guy get so heavy? I was carrying Rain under my arm; he was unresisting, limp, and relaxed. Probably wasn’t worried about anything. I tried to open the office door with one hand. The pressure from all the water on the floor made the door heavy, and I had to shove it with my shoulder to get it open. I was greeted by scorching sunlight and the deafening song of cicadas. “—Mr. Keisuke Suga. Thanks for your help last night.” When I was halfway up the narrow outside stairs, somebody spoke above my head. I looked up and saw the detective who’d come by the office late yesterday. “…Again?” I gave a big, dramatic sigh. “Well, it looks like summer is finally back to normal.” My sarcastic reply had no effect on the middle-aged detective—what was his name? Yasui? He used a handkerchief to wipe the sweat off his forehead, beneath his salt-and-pepper hair. A young uniformed police officer stood behind him mutely. “I told you everything I know last night,” I said as I set Rain down on the asphalt. The cat peered up at me, confused. Your master’s not here anymore, so go wherever you want, I informed him with my eyes. “Would you let us take a gander around your office?” Detective Yasui asked while he and the police officer passed me, heading downstairs. “Well, I’ll be. It’s flooded. Tough break,” he muttered without any sympathy that I could hear. “Hey, whoa! I didn’t say yes, all right? There’s nobody there!” The detective and officer stopped in front of the door. “Well, I’m actually pretty embarrassed to say this, but…,” Detective Yasui began, watching me. He was testing me. “That runaway we asked you about—we found him this morning. We took him into custody and brought him down to the station. And then, to tell you the truth—” I stuffed my emotions down, faked disinterest, and kept my expression neutral. After a long pause to keep me in suspense, the detective went on awkwardly. “He made a break for it, you see—ran right out of the station. That one’s never happened before.” “…!” I wasn’t confident I was managing to keep my face blank anymore. Rain gave a worried-sounding mew. * * * “An abandoned building in Yoyogi?!” I shouted back to Hodaka behind me. I couldn’t actually see them, but I could hear police sirens constantly, sometimes coming closer, sometimes receding. “Yeah, Hina said that was where she became a sunshine girl! She said she got connected to the sky there!” “…!” When Hodaka said that, a near-forgotten memory of last night rose in my mind again. Come to think of it, I’d dreamed about Hina praying and floating into the sky. If that was in Yoyogi, it wasn’t all that far from here. “So if I go there, I’m sure—” “Get down!” I yelled, ducking suddenly. “Waugh!” A fallen telephone pole blocked the alley, and the Cub just barely managed to slip under it. The road was littered with evidence of last night’s torrential rain: building materials blocking the way, scattered branches, fallen trees and signs, empty abandoned cars. As I rode through back streets, avoiding the obstacles, the wide avenue up ahead of us got closer. Abruptly, the noise of the police cars grew louder. “Oh, shoot!” I’d shot out onto a four-lane road right in front of a patrol car with a wailing siren, and it stayed on my tail. “You, on the Cub! Stop!” a threatening voice yelled at us through the car’s megaphone, but I didn’t care what he said. There was no way I could stop now. “It’s that detective!” Hodaka said. We were coming up on a big intersection. That was the corner of Mejiro Station. Right around here, I’m pretty sure there’s a— “Hang on!” As I shouted to Hodaka behind me, I gunned it for all I was worth. I zipped diagonally across the lanes, and we darted right in front of a truck that was making a right turn into the intersection. “Waaaaaaaugh!” Hodaka screamed. We slid past the truck by the skin of our teeth, and the Cub swerved into a narrow stairway in the gap between two buildings. For a moment, we were airborne. Crash! The Cub hit the landing, putting its suspension to work, then rattled down more stairs. The dumbfounded faces of pedestrians skimmed by us, and then we popped out onto a narrow one-way street running alongside the tracks. “Holy crap! Hey, am I awesome or what?!” I yelled in excitement. I felt as if I’d just jumped out of an airplane; adrenaline was surging through me. I couldn’t stop laughing. Hodaka, who was still clinging to my stomach, sounded scared: “Uh, Ms. Natsumi?!” The police sirens were receding rapidly. I just grinned. “Oh my god, that was so cool! Damn, that was fun! I think I’ve got a knack for this!” Just then, I had the most brilliant idea. “—Oh, hey!” I’ve got it! This is the work I was cut out for! “Maybe I’ll be a motorcycle cop!” Hodaka yelled back tearfully. “They’ll never hire you after this!” Oh. He had a point. Well, job hunting didn’t matter now. Yoyogi, here we come! I pulled myself together and squeezed the handlebars tight. * * * “Far as I can tell, the boy ran off to look for the girl who was with him.” I leaned beside the bar counter, glaring at Detective Yasui as he scanned the office. I’d hoped he’d go home faster if I showed him that nobody was in there, but the guy didn’t seem to be leaving anytime soon. “It’s so strange.” The detective looked up at the window. “According to him, the girl vanished in exchange for this weather.” “Ha-ha.” I forced a laugh. “What’s that supposed to mean? Don’t tell me the cops are buying that bull—” “No, no, we don’t believe it,” the detective said, laughing. He put a hand on the pillar to get a better look at something. That pillar— “But you know—he misses her enough to ruin his future for her.” The detective crouched down. He was examining the pillar, smiling. “Almost makes me wish I had a girl I cared about like that.” Moka’s heights from every year she’d lived here, up until the age of three, were carved into that pillar. Asuka’s writing was there, too. Both the letters and the memories were there, as vivid as if it had all been just a few days ago. “Not sure why you’re telling me this,” I told the detective glumly. Somebody he’d go that far to meet. Did Hodaka have somebody like that? …Did I? Somebody I’d sacrifice everything just to see again? Somebody I’d want to see even if the whole world laughed at me and told me I was wrong? “Mr. Suga…,” the detective murmured. I had, once upon a time. Asuka. If it meant I could see you again, what would I do? The same thing, probably— “Are you all right?” he asked, straightening up. He was staring at me, a little mystified. “Huh? What do you mean?” “Well, uh, you’re crying.” When he mentioned it, I finally noticed the tears running down my face. * * * The windows of an empty, stopped train flowed past us, glaring in the sunlight. I realized I was starting to hear police sirens again, although I still couldn’t see the cars. It was the first real midsummer day in quite a while, and the inside of my helmet was muggy and hot. Hodaka’s body was hot against my back, too. The inside of my head, though, was as icy clear as an alpine wind. I’d let a boy who’d escaped from a police station onto my bike, I’d gotten myself into an idiotic car chase with the cops, and now I was headed for an abandoned building. We were committing crimes to save Hina (yeah, what we’d been doing for the past little while was way illegal), and our only reason for doing so was a dream. Even I thought it was funny. But— Right now, I felt incredibly refreshed, as if I’d stripped off all my damp, heavy clothes and tossed them aside. It had nothing to do with job hunting or the law. What I was doing was the right thing, 100 percent. There was not a doubt in my mind that justice was on my side here. In this story, I was with the protagonists. How many years had it been since I’d been able to say that with so much certainty? “—Ms. Natsumi, over there!” Hodaka yelled from behind me. “…!” We were racing down a gradual slope, and water had collected into a big pond at the bottom. I scanned our surroundings. This road beside the tracks had no turnoffs. From what I could see, the pond was only about ten yards across, and the road continued after it. The sirens were getting closer and closer. I could do it. I had to. “We’re going through!” “Huh?!” As I yelled, I opened up the throttle all the way. The surface of the water raced toward us. Right before the pond, I lifted the handlebars slightly. The road resistance instantly disappeared. “Waaaaaaaugh?!” Hodaka screamed, and the Cub seemed to laugh at him as it skimmed across the water, sending up a glittering spray. Suddenly, I imagined a camera rolling right beside us. Everyone but the two of us was a supporting actor. The whole world was there just for me; I was at its center, and when I shone, it shone, too. Just a little farther to the asphalt on the other side… Damn, the world is so beautiful… However, with a lurch, the water resistance stopped the tires. The Cub was still sliding through the water, but it was also spitting out bubbles and sinking. “That’s as far as I go!” I told Hodaka clearly. My role ended here—I knew that before I drove in. But… “Hodaka, go!” “Right!” Using the Cub’s cargo rack as a foothold, Hodaka set his hand on the roof of a sunken truck. He launched himself off the bike and onto the truck’s roof. My Cub fell beneath the surface, and I dismounted. The water was just about up to my waist. With no hesitation, Hodaka clambered up a barbed-wire fence. “Thanks, Ms. Natsumi!” Meeting my eyes for just a moment, the kid jumped down onto the railroad tracks, then set off running, straight ahead. I sucked in a deep breath and shouted at the top of my lungs. “Hodaka! Ruuuun!” He didn’t even glance at me. He was getting farther and farther away. There was a smile on my lips. The police sirens were just around the corner. This is as far as I go, kid. Silently, I said it one more time. My girlhood, my adolescence, my moratorium—they all ended here. Kid, I’m gonna grow up just a little earlier than you. I’ll become a role model to you and Hina whether you want it or not. I’ll be the kind of adult who makes you want to grow up faster so you can be the same. I’ll be nothing like Kei—I’ll be a fantastic, amazing, super adult like no one’s ever seen. Watching my adolescence recede into the distance, I prayed with sunny skies in my heart. So you two come home safe, too.