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WINTER arrived in Eisberk.
I helped Wolfe conduct drills and spent time inspecting the march. Winter was peak training season because no farming could take place during the cold months. Everyday life there was peaceful and a little lonely, just as I’d imagined it. It had come a bit earlier than I expected but would have happened eventually anyway. Enough time had passed since the school festival that even the Cavalry Brigade had mostly cooled off.
Trees, houses were all blanketed in snow, painting Eisberk white. The social season had already begun anew in the royal capital, yet Lilia was adamant about staying home. Sorry, Lilia’s boyfriend.
Kraut had performed the New Year’s sword dance, apparently. He’d been sending me messages in secret. His unsigned letters always contained a purple, heart-shaped petal. The petals were mallow, a flower which grew exclusively in the Wurzel demesne, hence my recognition of the missives as his. They were written to be as inconspicuous as possible while still informing on the state of affairs in the royal capital.
Zanto surprised me the most. I’d thought he would turn on me after everything came to light, but no, he mailed me a letter through the royal post—and signed his name, no less. Though the note did start with the words “Don’t make Marlena cry.” He’d explained he wanted to know more about Lilitu, so naturally I introduced him to Lilia. He visited Eisberk whenever he had the chance ever since.
That day, for instance, the three of us were having tea together.
“How’s the research coming along?”
“I believe I’ve finally managed to make a breakthrough, thanks to your input, of course, Lilia. It would appear the reason the Lilitu was able to sneak through as easily as it did was—as you might’ve already surmised—because of its ability to control the minds of men. A knight inspected it. Said it ‘just looked like some weird bird.’”
“Yet more proof of the need for female knights.”
“Hahaha.” He forced out a laugh. “I wouldn’t be so definitive myself, but rest assured, my report will contain nothing but the facts. Indeed, I would personally like to see Bernstein escorting Princess Marlena again.”
“And why is that?” Lilia inquired, a spine-chilling smile on her face.
“Because the princess wants her back, even if it all stemmed from a recommendation by the White Lily Tea Party.”
“My, quite the unflattering rumor, isn’t it?”
“Hahaha. Rumor, yes, if that’s what you wish to call it. I must admit though, having the princess bear witness to Bernstein’s achievements firsthand—brilliant, absolutely brilliant.”
Lilia retaliated with an icy Eisberk grin. “I suppose there’s no reason for you to come back to Eisberk, now that your research is over. We wouldn’t want to cause you anymore trouble, especially given our family’s current reputation.”
“Please, I’m not a grand mage for nothing. I’m not scared of anyone or anything.”
“I am aware, yes. A man of your stature surely can’t be so idle as to visit us without reason?”
“Reason? If it’s a reason you want, then why don’t we begin with Bern’s enhancement magic?” he suggested, taking my hand.
Lilia swatted his away. “Apologies, there was a bug on your hand, a most disgusting one. Ohohoho,” she said with an exaggerated laugh.
“Can you not enhance, Zanto?” I asked out of curiosity.
“Not without chanting or a using magic circle.”
“I see.”
“Where did you learn it?”
“Hmm, I didn’t really learn it. It came to me naturally, just like it did for everyone else, or so I thought. Though, there was a specific event that got me to try it—when I was a child, a kid saved me from drowning by heating the water around us. I thought, ‘Why don’t I try surrounding something in a protective layer of magic?’ And I just went from there.”
“Is it just a matter of visualizing it?”
“I couldn’t really say.”
Zanto frowned.
“There goes your last reason. Off you go now, Zanto, sir,” Lilia interjected, curtailing the conversation.
“Hahaha, and here I thought Elfenbein was the kind-faced intimidating type.” Zanto forced out a laugh. “Reason or no, I’d like to visit again in the future, so try not to go too hard on me, okay?”
Lilia’s voice sharpened. “Why?”
“I’m getting tired of these verbal games, so let me be completely upfront with you: I don’t like seeing the princess cry.”
Lilia’s eyes widened. “My!”
“I-I am m-more or less on her f-fiancé l-list.” His Marlena-itis appeared to be intact. “She wants to keep tabs on Bern. That’s why.”
“I see…” Lilia smiled.
My chest tightened. Marlena worried for me even after I’d betrayed her.
“Well, there’s also the fact that my ‘private trips’ here are driving people absolutely nuts trying to figure out why I would bother.” He sniggered. “‘Is the royal family somehow involved?’ ‘Does it make sense from the Grand Mages’ perspective?’ ‘Is it something entirely beyond our grasp?’ Hilarious, isn’t it?”
“My, what a bad boy you are,” she said, a satisfied smirk on her face.
The two of them may have had more in common than I first thought.
“So, Bern, mind if I take some of this candy for Marlena?”
“Of course not. Just make sure to tell her Lilia made them. I don’t want to inconvenience her, so I can’t send her anything myself, but please let her know I appreciate the concern.”
“I will.”
“Tell her I’m doing well for myself.”
“I will.”
“Thank her for crying on my behalf.”
“Aaaaaa!” Zanto teared up, creeping Lilia out. “Precious, still precious!”
Once a pervert, always a pervert.
✦ ✦ ✦
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AND so, spring came to Eisberk. The snow started to melt, snowdrops began to bloom.
One day, I decided to visit the lake then swing by town afterward. I could finally wear feminine clothing whenever I pleased, and yet there was an academy-uniform-shaped hole in my heart. My dream of donning a knight’s white cape one day—gone. Not that I was even supposed to have hoped for such things to begin with.
The lake was slow to thaw that year, probably because Felzen hadn’t come for autumn’s hunting season. The Lord of the Lake was fond of Felzen, or at least that was the impression I got.
Maybe he’s lonely, but…it’s already March. Snow had fallen in a thin layer over the frozen surface of the lake. Forgive me, I apologized. Felzen won’t be coming back here ever again. I’d hurt so many people with my selfish whims, and somehow they still cared for me.
Ice crunched underfoot. “You really were a girl all along,” sounded a familiar voice from behind me. How could I possibly forget that soothing, firm, princely voice—Stern.
Oh, how I’d missed it. How I’d longed to hear it again, even if in a dream.
And yet, I was scared, scared of him seeing my true self. I couldn’t turn around; I wouldn’t be able to bear the disappointment on his face. I wanted to run, but my body refused to comply.
Years upon years of lies led up to this. My comeuppance.
Snow scraped underneath his boots as he walked up beside me, his footfalls steadfast. “Bern,” he called. My breath stopped, the inside of my chest about to burst. “I’m here to take you back,” he said.
I’d been born in Eisberk, I belonged there, and he said he was there to take me back. I snuck a nervous glance. His warm smile almost drove me to tears. I tried to speak, but no sound came out.
As I struggled to regain my breath, the sound of hooves striking ice resounded across the lake. I looked up to see Wolfe jump off his horse and sprint toward us.