Chapter 18: The Seasons of Eisberk
MOTHER welcomed me home with a table full of my favorite foods. I filled out and sent a withdrawal form to the military academy that same day.
I still hadn’t heard back, which was understandable given how much controversy the recent events had generated. After all, the northern princess, with clear ill-intent, had smuggled a monster into our kingdom. Her actions were in no way permissible, even if she had been under the Lilitu’s control.
And yet, I sympathized with her plight. I longed for Stern, despite knowing full well that it was wrong for me to do so. Her feelings for him were obviously strong, so of course she’d fallen under its influence. Heck, I almost had—I considered it for a good second, and the only thing that stopped me was the knowledge of how Stern would react to such underhanded means. What was the point of securing my love for him only to be despised?
Then there was the revelation that I, Bernstein von Eisberk, was a woman. I’d been deceiving the kingdom since prep school all the way through my time at the military academy, the fact of which was grounds for an investigation.
Sure enough, rumors that I was a spy intent on sabotaging the Knights Order from within spread in parts of the royal court. I wouldn’t have been surprised if my request for withdrawal was denied because of them.
Lilia came straight home after hearing about the incident. She didn’t say anything to me when she arrived; she just gave me a big, warm hug.
Elfen, following his house arrest, was demoted and deployed to the south, far from Eisberk. In his letter he wrote, “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of this.”
Felzen, per the agreement, feigned complete and utter ignorance.
Stern, from what I’d heard, was absolutely floored by the news.
Officially speaking, there was no woman by the name of Bernstein in Regenbogen Kingdom, which likely complicated matters legally.
Father and his long-past prayers were the cause of the entire affair, and while he held no seat in the royal court, he was nonetheless dismissed from his position as Marshal Vulkan’s advisor the very day my secret was discovered. He secluded himself in Eisberk in a show of remorse, but it was hard to call his voluntary confinement an act of contrition when he barely ever left our territory to begin with. For the punishment to mean anything, either his lands or title would have to be revoked, neither of which was realistically going to happen, lest a civil war erupt.
The Cavalry Brigade was on edge following my flight from Neue Milchstrasse, furious at the way I was being treated despite the countless lives I’d saved. I visited their training sessions every day in hope of assuaging their frustration before something happened.
Father praised my judgement, saying I had done the right thing. And no matter how many times I replayed that day in my head, I couldn’t imagine myself doing any of it differently. I couldn’t have abandoned the royal capital to its doom, even if it meant that my loved ones would suffer.
I just hoped the villa wouldn’t be bridged solely because of me.
My secret had to have come out eventually; I’d merely sped up the process. Though I hadn’t thought my first kiss would be so depressing. A kiss from one’s beloved was the only way to dispel a Lilitu’s curse. Strong feelings toward another were key. It had been very much a gamble, but I’d thought that maybe, just maybe, I was his. I’d kissed him, and he…he’d woken up. Even if we never saw each other again, I was content.
I touched my lips, looking into the mirror on the table. My reflection wore her hair down, the me he’d never gotten to see.
That fateful day, I had left the mirror Stern gave me back in the dormitory, where it—along with the rest of my memories—yet remained as I had no way of retrieving them. The jar, the ribbon Felzen gave me that same day, knowing I couldn’t buy one myself. I hoped they didn’t get tossed out. I couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic, even though I’d been the maker of my own ruin.