Itobayashi Akane
“Her true self, like God, was a presence she tried to forget.”
GIRL’S MARCH, PAPERBACK EDITION, PAGE 32, LINES 5-6
AKANE WAS CONVINCED. Of course, like any other conviction, it was only eighty to ninety percent situational analysis plus ten to twenty percent faith, so she was nervous. Luckily, she was allowed to show it on her face this time.
After school, every step she took in the direction of that yellow record store made her loafers grow heavier and heavier, as if her feet were somehow exempt from the laws of gravity, or the ground had turned super-sticky all of a sudden. She didn’t exercise outside of gym class or the occasional bike ride, so she arrived at the front entrance slightly out of breath.
Inside, she found Ai standing out of view of the front-facing windows. When he noticed her, he raised a hand in greeting, and her leaden loafers seemed to practically lift off from the ground. Taking care not to seem strange, she jogged over. This was their second meeting.
“Oh hey, that uniform. Guess you really are a high school student.”
She knew he was joking, so she was free to widen her eyes. “You still don’t believe me?!”
“Relax, I’m kidding.”
He looked like he was having fun, and it filled her with an irreplaceable feeling of joy. Then she bit her tongue just in case, like always. But she managed to switch gears quickly today, aided by the excuse that she hadn’t come here just to earn brownie points.
“What’s that axolotl-looking thing?” Ai asked suddenly, pointing at her bookbag.
“Huh?” She knew what he was talking about, but she went ahead and looked down anyway, then lifted the pink plushie dangling from the base of her shoulder strap. “This? This is Anmanman. Heard of him?”
“Nope. Is it a new fad with the kids these days?”
“No, just me. See, he’s also my pass case.” She flipped him over to show the Suica card slotted into his back.
“He’s so big and bulky… I guess you probably won’t lose him, though.”
He was neither praising nor insulting it—just making observations out loud. She wasn’t bothered by it, but she donned an expression that suggested she was annoyed he didn’t call it cute. She wanted him to think she had put it there for no real reason.
But in fact, there were two reasons behind it.
Firstly, with this plush adorning her bag, she could establish herself as a girl who liked somewhat unusual things. By making sure her interests didn’t overlap with anyone else’s, she minimized the risk that they would see her as competition. That was a characteristic she wanted to have in order to be liked by her friends.
Secondly, the protagonist of Girl’s March was depicted as being fond of a mascot character. Thus, Akane had attached it to her bag like a sort of good-luck charm, hoping to attract events from the book into her life. And since it had clearly worked, she suspected she would love this little guy for the rest of her life.
That said, despite all her calculations, it was Akane herself who had chosen this particular character out of the countless other mascots available—and she did secretly harbor some genuine fondness for him, but right now, there was no need to explain how it differed from her external emotions.
Since Ai had commented on her uniform right from the outset, such observations evidently wouldn’t come across as unnatural to him. She took the opportunity to scan him from head to toe. She couldn’t see a single thing that matched what he was wearing the last time. Today he had donned a gray beanie, an oversized navy blue cardigan over a fine-knit white sweater, skinny jeans, and ankle boots, paired with a thin beige tote bag slung on his shoulder. With his long hair and glossy lips, he was once again beautiful enough to be mistaken for a woman at first glance.
“You always look super pretty, Ai-san.”
“Thanks.”
She knew her unabashed compliments would be fundamentally perceived as the innocent charm of a child. In response, he thanked her without a trace of embarrassment. So far, this was going exactly as she’d anticipated, except…
“Do I still look like the other Ai?”
She hadn’t expected him to be the one to bring up that topic. “Um…yes, I think so.”
“Huh. Weird. Wonder what it is.”
Judging from the fact that he didn’t attempt to hide his confusion, she surmised there was no deeper meaning behind the question. He wasn’t trying to sound her out; he was just thinking about what had brought them together. Internally, in her solitary cell, she was touched. But there was no time for that—this was her chance! She plunged a hand into her bookbag.
“Actually, um, I brought it with me today!” She pulled out the pocket paperback edition of Girl’s March. “This is the book I was talking about. Wait—you didn’t already read it, by any chance, did you…?”
“No.”
She had expected this answer when she asked. That was the Ai she knew, after all.
“If I’m honest, I haven’t read any of those Newbery books,” he continued.
“Oh, I totally get that.” She gave two small nods to convey her agreement. “Just because something wins an award or even a Nobel Prize doesn’t mean I’ll automatically read it.”
In response to her casual validation, he raised his eyebrows ever so slightly, as if the coffee he’d bought at a vending machine was hotter than expected. “Even the Nobel Prize, huh? I mean, I’m not one to judge, but…don’t you literally work at a bookstore, Itobayashi Akane?”
“Yeah, but I mean…sometimes there are shady dealings between publishers and authors and stuff, you know? Besides, if some guy came up to me and told me to read a book, I’d be like, ‘Who even are you?’ I only trust recommendations if they come from friends and family, not total strangers.”