Ukawa Ai
DUE TO HIS WORK SCHEDULE, Ai couldn’t make it to the concert in person, but word traveled quickly of Julia’s uncommon mistakes. While it did worry him, he was relieved to know they were the sort of slip-ups any human being would end up making eventually, like breaking formation and singing the wrong lyrics. Barely any of the fans who were in attendance criticized her for it, and when she tweeted “I’m so sorry to everyone who came to see us tonight. I promise to do better,” after the concert, there were no angry replies.
Well, maybe there were, but Ai had a policy of blocking any account he saw being hostile to her, so he wouldn’t have seen them.
Ever since his friend Julia became a pop star, he had firmly pledged not to contact her about anything except her concerts. Thus he had no inkling of Julia’s feelings beyond what was officially made public. No point in agonizing over it, he figured, and so he went back to focusing on work. But when his break rolled around, the email in his inbox made him laugh out loud.
Itobayashi Akane had sent him a photo she’d taken of a Polaroid with her and Julia, where he could see the high schooler looking visibly nervous to be standing next to a celebrity. Now there was a surprise. But upon further contemplation, it didn’t seem like an issue—until he realized:
“Don’t skip school!”
The reply came immediately. “It could’ve been over the weekend for all you know!”
“The only pre-show they’ve held recently was the one yesterday. And besides, she’s wearing her new costume!”
Ai was always comparing Impatiens concert dates with his work schedule, looking for ones he could attend. He smirked to himself, amused that he’d seen through her.
“…Crap!”
“Come to think of it, you told me two days ago that you’d have something to email me later! You planned to skip school this whole time!”
“Julia-chan was really nice, though!”
As a grown adult, it wasn’t proper for him to encourage this behavior…but then he looked back at the Polaroid and was just glad to see she looked happy.
“Wait, so those two know each other?” his coworker Fujino asked, peering at the phone in his hands.
“Apparently she’s taken such a liking to Julia that she skipped school to go to her first pre-show.”
“Ah, to be young and stupid again,” she mused offhandedly as she pulled a bottle of tea from the break room mini-fridge and took a sip. “You two seem to be getting real buddy-buddy. Don’t you lay a finger on her.”
“I would never!”
“So you say, but with you, there’s no such thing as the friendzone.” As both a colleague and a friend, Fujino knew a fair bit about his romantic history. “Ugh, I don’t want to be able to say I know a guy who got arrested for statutory.”
“If I get arrested for anything, I’m telling them you put me up to it. Have fun.”
“You ass!”
In contrast with her words, she guffawed loudly as she retrieved the tool she was looking for and went back to work. Likewise, Ai had no business in a break room that no longer allowed smoking. He removed the employee lanyard from around his neck, put it into his locker, and pulled on his coat to head outside.
Out on the main floor, an amateur singer-songwriter had started her performance. For now, the only people here to see her specifically were her friends; the rest of the crowd swayed politely as they listened. To someone who had only ever known the mainstream music industry, it might seem sort of sad, but for a music venue, this was par for the course.
Outside, his breath took on the faintest opacity. The weather forecasts all said it was going to be a mild winter, but it was steadily getting colder. As he climbed the stairs up to street level, he thought back to that mundane glimpse of daily life and quietly wished for the singer-songwriter to get at least enough recognition to make her happy.
This was something of a routine for him. Ignoring all the other circumstances and context, he wanted the musicians who performed at his workplace to see their dreams come true. Simple and straightforward, befitting his character.
This mutually beneficial prayer didn’t take more than a moment. In the next, he was flinching against the cold as he walked down the hill to the smoking area. On the way, he was reminded of something Akane had once said: I only trust recommendations if they come from friends and family, not total strangers. His opinion from back then hadn’t changed: he agreed with the first half but disagreed with the second.
Even an award created by a total stranger had the power to boost an artist’s career. While some musicians found their footing through indie performances, others needed the marketing power of record labels and CD stores. Neither was inherently more ethical or “superior” to the other. Perhaps Akane was right about shady dealings behind the scenes, but even then Ai would never decry it, lest he in turn insult the artists whose only crime was trying to make it big.
Partway down the hill, he stepped into an alley and lit a cigarette at the public smoking area. What rose with the smoke was the mental image of Akane accompanying him to the flower shop two days prior.
Ai thought about her a lot lately. Not that there was anything wrong with thinking about a friend, but now he was starting to wonder if Fujino’s warning was more warranted than he realized. While he would absolutely never make a move on her, he couldn’t deny that some part of him was indeed fixated on her, and it gave him pause.
It had undeniably all started that day at the billiard hall, when Akane revealed her inner fortitude. Looking back, it should have been obvious how much she valued that novel from the moment she admitted to approaching him solely because he resembled a character in it—and yet somehow, he missed it. In his mind, he’d written it off as the sort of funny story that could happen to anyone. That is, until she told him she was willing to disregard her fear and common sense in order to mimic the story’s conflicts.
For all he knew, there were others in his life who put that much stock in a piece of media. But in most cases, those people seemed to be clinging to memories of the past, not trying to change their future. Akane was definitely the latter…and he was curious to know more about her.
Above all, Ai liked people who were strong of heart—who were willing to take action to do the right thing. And those feelings were genuine.
After his second cigarette, he decided on his next destination. Typically, he spent his breaks outside with two objectives: have a smoke, then grab a quick meal. This time, however, he decided to add a third item to the itinerary. Today he would go and buy that music magazine featuring an interview with Julia.
He wasn’t too fussy about where he bought it. There were plenty of bookstores in the area, and for that matter, the record stores probably stocked it too. His first thought was to grab it from whichever was closest to wherever he ended up getting dinner, but then a different idea struck him, and he headed to Akane’s workplace. Judging from how quickly she’d replied to his emails, she probably wasn’t scheduled tonight.
When he opened the door and walked in, sure enough, there was no sign of her inside the bookstore—well, unless she was on break in the staff room somewhere. But Ai wasn’t here to see her, so he shrugged off the possibility and headed to the music section of the magazine corner. Once he found what he was looking for, he checked its contents and found the leader of Impatiens, Takatsuki Sakuna, smiling for a photo with Julia. His eyes glimmered as he saw the text “Wardrobe Reveal!”
He could have made a beeline straight to the checkout line, but he took his time instead, letting his gaze wander over the book covers one by one. As with CD jackets, each was painstakingly designed with professional skill and artistry, and he found his eyes drawn to them. Then he arrived at a little table right in front of the cash registers, which was where he saw a tidy stack of books practically screaming for attention, with ornate signage and a mini-monitor blaring an advertisement for a film adaptation.
For better or for worse, Ai understood himself to be the kind of person who had tunnel vision solely for that which appealed to him. As a result, he had next to no brain space for anything outside that scope.
So he picked it up.
To be blunt, he had no interest in the book itself. He didn’t get any enjoyment out of novels—all that tiny text made his eyes tired. In elementary school, he always hated being forced to read excerpts and describe how the authors felt writing them, and from that point onward, he had never once gone out of his way to read a book.
But his new friend said she based her entire life on this one.
At the register, Ai plunked down one magazine and one paperback. When asked if he’d like a disposable book cover, he answered, “Yeah, couldn’t hurt.”
In response to his surprisingly deep voice, the female employee dropped her customer service smile and did a double-take.