To Akane, Girl’s March was an extremely relatable story. (This opinion was shared by the masses, much to her chagrin.) But as she progressed deeper through the plot with Ai, there was an upcoming event that she genuinely had no idea how to contrive.
With every passing day, she became increasingly convinced that they were destined to reenact the story. Not only did Ai himself exist in the real world, but so did his roommate and friends. The Gotou Julia video from the other day was even more proof—after all, one of the characters in the book was referred to as “the Record Keeper.” Therefore, she knew she merely needed to follow the existing outline—but there was one scene she simply couldn’t imagine taking place with someone as protective as Ai.
In Girl’s March, the protagonist and Ai spent the night together. Specifically, the text depicted them walking through the city, ending with the line: “By the time they had finally come to know each other in the truest sense, their only option was to stay there.”
There were several ways to interpret the first half of that sentence, but if she assumed that the second half meant “the trains had stopped running,” then she couldn’t imagine Ai of all people would allow a high schooler to accompany him so late at night. He would sooner take the tough love approach and drag her to the station.
She pictured dozens of scenarios—karaoke, one of their houses, a diner, a hotel, the park, the street—but all of them hit a dead end.
Back when she was just a reader, she liked that the author had left the details vague on purpose, but now that it was happening in real life, she felt very differently. How in the world had The Girl talked Ai into it?
Akane had been iterating on real-world ideas for five days straight. Unfortunately, she hadn’t spoken to Ai since that late-night email exchange, so there were no concrete plans in place. There was still time before the climax of the novel, but her desire to see Ai was more than just for show, and she was getting antsy. Though the reward was altogether different, she realized some part of her was pretending the impulse she felt was to please her loved ones, and so she bit her tongue over and over.
That afternoon, like always, she went to work at her part-time job in town. In the staff room, she changed out of her skirt and into her jeans, tied on her apron, then walked out front. Today she would be sharing the shift with Nishio the male college student, their manager, and a woman whom Akane acted like she was uncomfortable around. The elder Uemura sibling, the one who coddled Akane with candy, was scheduled to clock out two hours before closing, so she would need to adjust her level of tension after that.
She worked the cash register, helped with restocking, and around the time the sun had set, she told the manager about a male customer acting strangely. When the manager spoke to him, he practically ran out of the store, so Akane suspected perhaps he was a novice thief. But either way, the truth didn’t matter. After the manager thanked her, she punched away at the register with a look of pride on her face.
“Say, Itobayashi-san, can I ask you something?”
Around the time customers had gotten scarce, Nishio took the opportunity to call out to her, his expression comparatively glum. The strict female employee was on break, and the manager had gone into the back room to take care of something.
“Sure. Wanna know how to spot a thief?”
He responded to the teenager’s cockiness with a puppy-dog smile. “Yeah, it looks like you were right about that! But, uh, no. Hypothetically, if you were mad at your boyfriend, what would you want as an apology gift?”
“Ooh, are you fighting with your girlfriend?”
He grinned wryly. “Guess I can’t tiptoe around it with you, huh?”
“I figured you’d rather cut to the chase,” she replied offhandedly. She knew this was the kind of rapport he wanted with her, and she knew about his slightly younger girlfriend because he had asked her for relationship advice several times now. “An apology gift, hmm… I’m not sure. If we’re having a conflict and he gives me something special out of nowhere, it might feel like he’s trying to buy my forgiveness.”
“Oh, like it’s too forced?”
“Yeah. It’s more romantic if it’s something small that shows you truly care,” she explained matter-of-factly, as if her viewpoint was objectively correct. The word choice was dictated by her need to be liked, but the advice itself was genuine.
At times like these, though her biggest priority was how she wanted others to see her, Akane still tried to give her honest opinion. She organized everything she’d gained over her short life into a tidy package the other person could easily accept or discard. And this had garnered some success, because just the other day, a different friend had consulted her about her crush. Girls were more likely to seek advice from her if she didn’t seem like potential competition, and having a boyfriend helped immensely in that regard. So did Anmanman, in a more subtle way.
“I see. Well, you teenage girls do know a thing or two about romance.”
“Surprise gifts are really nice, though.”
“Make up your mind! Anyway, how are things with you and your boyfriend?”
“Good, good.”
This wasn’t a lie. In truth, she could already tell the relationship was going to end soon, but at present, things were just peachy.
In all of Akane’s romantic relationships, the guy would create the problem, she would create the solution, and the story would end. Sometimes she sensed their desire to cheat, while other times they would simply start to lose interest in her. Regardless, she would always break up with them before they could make the decision on their own—before they had the chance to stop liking her. It hurt less that way.
As for her current boyfriend, Shin, he was a good person at heart, but she sensed he was starting to question whether she was truly the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, because he had started asking a lot of questions about their future. She didn’t know which way he was leaning, but she couldn’t afford to wait and see. She didn’t think she could bear to watch him slowly fall out of love with her.
It was a shame, since she could tell he was an upstanding guy. But ultimately, this was good timing. Once she found the courage to be her real self, she doubted a genuine person like him would accept her, and she had no right to hope otherwise. Thus, she decided that she would start laying the foundation for their breakup in a few days. Before she got hurt. Before his love could fade.
Unlike a normal person, she treated romance like a strategy game. It made her want to die.
The bookstore remained quiet and peaceful until at last it came time for the doors to close for the night. She shuddered to imagine what it must be like to be a copy of Girl’s March left lying in the darkness.
“Great work today!”
Leaving the full-time employee behind, the three part-timers walked out of the store. On most nights, Akane would walk with them to the station, where they’d part ways on different trains. And right up to that moment—no, even well past that moment, her flawless mask would never waver, to the point that she wondered if it was made of plastic.
But no matter her intrinsic qualities or how she perceived herself, if someone were to cut to her core, they would find a human being. And like any human, she was capable of being startled.
“Itobayashi Akane.”
Tragically, her reflexes could easily conceal the reaction of the real person inside, whether she wanted them to or not.
Akane wasn’t the only one who turned at the sound of the voice. The other two part-timers also looked over dubiously. Meanwhile, she instantly overwrote her widened eyes and slackened jaw with firm intention.
“What the… Ai-san?!”
Ai was standing there, a coat she didn’t recognize fluttering in the wind. He hadn’t caught her off-guard like this since the day they met. And in spite of her initial joy, when she found herself wondering if this could be an opportunity to progress the storyline, she saw that white room once again.