The moment we stepped outside the school, though, we stopped dead in our tracks.
“…What in the world…” Akira rasped.
“Oh my god…” I said, gripping his sleeve.
The entire landscape had changed overnight. Our little town—the place we all called home—was nowhere to be found.
Was this what people meant by “scorched earth”? There was nothing but burnt rubble and cinders as far as the eye could see. The devastation was so thorough and vast that I could even make out the hazy, silhouetted skyline of the big city off in the distance, draped in the morning mist—something that had never been possible before, with all the buildings jutting up against the horizon.
There wasn’t anything to say. We just started to walk.
Through the rows upon rows of burnt-down houses, I could see townspeople dragging their dead along the ground behind them—charred corpses, tied with wire to sheets of corrugated metal. There was still smoke rising here and there amid the ruins. Still, the smell of smoldering ashes lingered in the air.
We hadn’t escaped from hell just yet.
I wondered if Tsuru was okay. If Chiyo had been hurt. If the other soldiers at the base had made it out okay. I hung my head in distress, unable to quell any of my rampant anxieties.
At that very moment, Akira called my name. He gently took my hand, squeezing it tightly in his palm. And funnily enough, for whatever reason, this alone was enough to steady my quivering heart again. It was as if his hands bore some mysterious power, one that could wrap up my entire soul in a soft, protective cocoon and soothe my every fear.
I remembered the same thing happening when we went out for a walk together the other day, and then again yesterday as we fled. And now today, it was the same refrain—all it took was the simple touch of his skin to calm my fluttering heart and fill it from the inside out with a gentle warmth. With him by my side, maybe even a crybaby scaredy-cat like me could learn to be strong someday.
So please, Akira… Don’t ever leave me.
…Words I knew I could never say.
Hand in hand, we made our way down the road toward Tsuru’s place. Luckily, it seemed the fires somehow hadn’t reached the mess hall—the one small mercy I could find among this entire hellscape. And it appeared as if Tsuru was just fine as well.
“Yuri-chan!” she cried, rushing out from the building to wrap me up in her arms. “I’m so glad you’re okay, dear…!”
“You too…” I said, trying not to cry.
She furrowed her brow and examined my face, no doubt still pitch-black with soot.
“Did you get caught up in the fires?” she asked.
“Yeah, unfortunately…” I said. “But Akira came to rescue me, so I made it out okay.”
“Oh, thank you, Sakuma-san…” said Tsuru, bowing her head deeply.
“Don’t mention it…” said Akira. “Yuri’s like a little sister to me. I’d never let anything bad happen to her.”
There he was, comparing me to a little sister again. I would have normally been peeved, but then Tsuru placed her hands on my shoulders and looked at me apologetically.
“I’m so sorry, dear…” she said. “That must have been so terrifying…”
“Wait, huh?” I said. “What are you apologizing for?”
“It’s all because I asked you to run that errand for me…”
“No, no! It’s not your fault at all!” I shook my head wildly.
Then I let out a gasp, realizing I was no longer carrying the cloth bag full of rice. Had I left it somewhere? I knew I was still holding it when Akira rescued me; I’d made sure to fasten it to my arm with a knot when he lifted me up onto his back. But I couldn’t recall what happened to it after that; the horrors I witnessed as we ran through the sea of flames to the riverside made me forget all about the rice. And the hellish, gruesome sights I’d seen shook me so deeply that I hadn’t had the presence of mind to make sure I still had it on me once we got to the school.
“…I’m sorry, Tsuru-san…” I said. “Your rice…”
I was on the verge of tears, I felt so bad. She’d traded one of her most precious possessions for that small bag of rice.
But Tsuru just looked at me and smiled softly.
“What are you saying, dear?” she said, shaking her head. “Who cares about a few grains of rice at a time like this? I’m just glad you’re safe… Your life is so much more important to me than that…”
As her voice trembled and tears began streaming down her cheeks, I could feel myself starting to cry as well.
“I’m so sorry…” I said, now weeping openly. “I’m so sorry, Tsuru-san…”
“I don’t know what I would have done if something were to happen to you…” she said. “How could I ever show my face to your parents in the next life…?”
I thought of my mother, living seventy years in the future.
I remembered all the times we’d fought.
“You’re no daughter of mine,” I recalled her saying.
And yet, I couldn’t help but wonder whether she’d worried about me after I suddenly disappeared that day. If she’d been afraid of losing me, like Tsuru was.
I wondered if I’d ever be able to go back to my own time again.
I’d been so caught up in my reality, simply trying to survive here, that I honestly hadn’t even thought about wanting to go home in quite some time.
But when I thought about my mother, I felt a sudden pang of nostalgia.
I found myself curious what she was up to right about now.
My single mother, who’d raised me all by herself.
And yet, it was Tsuru who’d cried for me when I was gone.
It was Akira who’d risked everything to save my life.
My mind was a mess of so many conflicting emotions.
Did I still want to go home, or was this my new home?
Even I couldn’t say for certain anymore.