Just looking at them made me feel even more scared—so I buried my face between my knees. I didn’t know how long I spent retreated into myself like that; but when I eventually opened my heavy-lidded eyes, I could tell that it was already dark outside.
“Akira…” I said, absently calling his name as I lifted my head.
He slowly opened his eyes as though he’d only dozed off for a moment.
“You should try to get some sleep too, Yuri,” he said.
“Yeah, I know…” I said. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay.”
He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer, so I leaned my head over onto his chest as I closed my eyes.
I knew I should have been utterly exhausted, and yet I just couldn’t seem to fall asleep. Every time I closed my eyes, the horrors I’d witnessed during the air raid flashed across the backs of my eyelids. The flames burned red. The houses on fire. The dead little girl. The rows upon rows of corpses.
My eyes snapped open once again. I was too afraid to keep them closed; too afraid of more flashbacks. I knew there was no escaping the horrors either way, of course; even in the darkness, I could still see the vague silhouettes of air raid victims all around me, packed like sardines into this tiny classroom. I could hear them crying out in distress.
“It hurts… Oh god, it hurts…”
“Mommy… Daddy…”
“I can’t breathe…”
“I’m so thirsty… It burns…”
“Water… Need…water…”
But there was no medication here to treat their wounds, not even a thimbleful of water they could drink. There was nothing at all that could quell the chorus of agonized groans that filled the room from floor to ceiling.
I couldn’t bear listening to it any longer.
I closed my eyes and covered my ears.
This is hell.
What other word could even be used to describe something like this? All these innocent people, condemned to suffer and burn and die? It was hell, plain and simple.
I couldn’t even bring myself to cry anymore. I just glared angrily into the darkness, not moving a muscle—not even blinking.
“…Yuri?” said Akira.
But I didn’t respond. I could hear him calling my name, but I couldn’t bring myself to say a single word. Couldn’t budge from the spot even if I wanted to.
“Yuri, are you okay?” he said.
Again, I didn’t, couldn’t reply.
“Hey… Yuri.”
I just sat there in silence.
“Yuri!”
He shouted my name and slapped me lightly across the cheek. I sucked in a gasp of air, then turned to face him. He was looking at me with a desperate, panicked expression.
“Get a hold of yourself!” he said, gripping my shoulders tight with both hands.
“Akira…” I murmured.
It was only at this point that I realized my hands had been trembling like crazy. It wasn’t just my hands—my legs and shoulders were quaking so badly, you could hear it.
“Are you cold?” he said. “Is that it?”
He took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. Oddly enough, even though the cold wasn’t the problem, being wrapped in his residual warmth and scent did seem to calm the shaking.
“No… I’m not cold…” I said weakly. “I just… I can’t take much more of this. It’s so wrong, you know? Why do these people have to suffer like this? They… They haven’t done anything wrong… It’s not fair… It’s not fair at all… I don’t want to live in a world like this anymore… I just wanna go home…”
Even my voice was trembling now.
“You’ve just gotta hang in there a little longer, Yuri,” Akira whispered in my ear as he squeezed me tight. “We’re going to put an end to this war, just you wait. We’ll do whatever it takes to make sure it’s not a complete loss for Japan…and then the world can be at peace again. There won’t be anything for you to be afraid of anymore. And if I can help make that future a reality…then my life is a small price to pay.”
No… That’s not what I want to hear at all… That’s not what I want you to do…
And yet, his voice was so soft and soothing, and my throat was so sore and dry that I couldn’t bring myself to say a word in response.
“Don’t worry… I’m right here with you,” he said, squeezing me. “I’m right here…”
As he enveloped me in his warmth, I could feel my eyes beginning to water, the hot streams of tears running down my cheeks. Akira rubbed my back as if to reassure me, over and over and over again. It felt so nice I actually managed to doze off at last.
With my head against his chest, there were no more scary flashbacks.
With his arms around my shoulders, I couldn’t hear the groans of agony anymore.
“That’s it, Yuri…” he whispered softly. “Just fall asleep…”
And just like that, I did.
After even the darkest of nights, morning always comes.
But as the light of dawn streamed in through the windows, I couldn’t help but feel like such a beautiful sunrise was ill-suited for the morning after a waking nightmare of horrors and hellfire. Sleepily, I opened my eyes to see Akira still there beside me.
“Good morning,” he said with a smile.
“Morning…Akira,” I replied.
“Think you’re ready to get up?”
“Yeah…”
I lifted myself up and took a fresh look around. There were still a ton of injured people all around us, but it seemed like while I was sleeping, some first aid supplies had arrived from the fire department and the military. The wounds were slowly but surely beginning to be treated, so the air in the classroom was far lighter than it had been the night before.
“Sounds like they put the fires out last night, too,” said Akira. “We should be able to go check on the mess hall now, if you’re up for it.”
“Yeah, I’d like to,” I said. “I’m worried about Tsuru-san.”