I entered the tree line and began to search. I looked hard for anything—if not Allumi, then at least some sign it had left behind. I switched on my phone flashlight, but the beam only went so far.
“Allumi!” My voice echoed out once more, but there was no reply.
What could I do? What the hell should I do?
As my head spun, a singular thought occurred to me: Had Allumi gone back? Back home?
Dogs were supposed to have a homing instinct. Maybe being dragged here by me, a stranger, had awakened the strength in Allumi to escape its collar and get back home.
That would be ideal. Whether human or dog, I never intended to hurt anyone. I would truly never wish for such a thing.
Go back home, I prayed. Go and sleep in your doghouse with that peaceful look on your face. I mounted my bicycle and headed for Tanaka’s house, praying all the way.
How absurd it was for me of all people, someone who lived for no one and nothing but myself, to pray for someone else.
I reached my destination. Allumi was nowhere to be seen.
On the second floor, the lights were on. Though it was wildly, horribly optimistic of me, I thought that perhaps Tanaka had gone out searching for Allumi, found the bus stop, and taken her dog back home. It wasn’t impossible. There was nothing impossible about it.
Or maybe, since Allumi had gone missing, the dog had now been brought inside the house. Perhaps it was up on the second floor right now, playing happily with its owner.
It was equally possible that Allumi had escaped the collar and gone somewhere far, far away. Even if it hadn’t, perhaps it was taking a lengthy detour on the way home. It could be sneaking around some abandoned house right now. Someone else could have snatched it, even…
None of these were impossible scenarios, but they couldn’t all be true.
I rode my bike around the area surrounding Tanaka’s home, but Allumi was neither walking nor sitting anywhere. I was getting nowhere fast, but just thinking about it would get me nowhere even faster. My stomach roiled with nerves. I knew that there was little I could achieve at this hour. It would be better to search in the morning when it was light out. Still, I couldn’t go home yet, so I instead made countless, pointless loops between Tanaka’s house and the bus stop. And by pointless, I of course meant that I accomplished absolutely nothing at all.
Though I should have done so much sooner, I finally returned home, trudged up to my room, and tried my best to sleep as I always did.
On Monday morning, I set out before breakfast, telling my family it was for training. It still hadn’t rained yet. I biked to Tanaka’s house, but Allumi wasn’t there. I thought about ringing the doorbell to inquire about the dog’s well-being, but that would just make me look suspicious. I could ask later at school.
With little else I could do about the situation, I just rode around the area as I had the day before. I saw plenty of dogs walking with their owners, but of course none of them were Allumi. I went to the bus stop where I had confined them again, but they weren’t there either. I’d brought the collar and leash with me in a plastic bag, just in case.
Where did Allumi go, and what was the dog doing now? Where might it go from there? I couldn’t recall thinking about anyone else this much lately besides Chika.
Defeated, I returned home, ate breakfast, and headed for school. At the very least, Tanaka would be there, and I could confirm the situation from her in person. I figured I could just casually ask about Allumi before class started without raising any suspicion. However, when I arrived at school, there was no one sitting to my right—even after the bell rang, the teacher arrived, and first period began.
I found myself irritated that she had the nerve to skip school on a day like this. I put aside the not-impossible possibility that she had skipped school because of something awful happening in her life, but soon, I had nowhere to run.
I ate lunch in the cafeteria that day. As usual, the food wasn’t something I was particularly interested in eating. I returned to the classroom to stare at my desk when I heard a voice. I was able to pick up on this only thanks to someone who didn’t realize that a whisper was sometimes easier to hear than a normal, quiet tone.
“Did you hear?”
“Hear what?”
“I heard that Allumi died.”
My right knee jerked suddenly up and into my desk, robbing the rest of the classroom of sound. I didn’t mean anything by it.
There were probably some who looked at me, wondering what the noise was about, but I didn’t meet their eyes. I just stared at the wooden top of my desk.
…Wait.
What?
What?!
Of course…
Allumi. Dead?
That was all I could think.
That was all.
I couldn’t remember.
I couldn’t remember a thing.
I couldn’t remember Allumi approaching me, unguarded, the first time we met.
I couldn’t remember the times I patted Allumi on the head.
I couldn’t remember Allumi gobbling up the treats that I snuck it.
I couldn’t remember Allumi popping up to greet me the moment it heard my footsteps.
I couldn’t remember Allumi sniffing my arm.
I couldn’t remember Allumi cradled in my arms, trusting me.
I couldn’t remember any of that, so from then until it was time to leave, I just sat there quietly in school. I didn’t bother to cover my ears, so I heard rumors that it was a traffic accident.
After school, in my usual copy-paste routine, I headed to the shoe lockers. Today, Saitou, who had been assaulting me with awkward greetings every day lately, just looked at me curiously and headed silently home, as she used to.
I headed quietly home as well, then set out once again. I was still in my uniform—there was no point in changing.
It was raining.
That meant it was probably raining in Chika’s world too. I had no idea what effect I might have on her side, so I walked carefully up the stairs, umbrella out.
I thought at first of ringing the bell, but I realized that doing so might summon another family member for me to have to talk to. Still, I had to call her out somehow. Just in case, I headed to the backyard first. There I found Allumi’s owner standing there with an umbrella, staring at the empty doghouse.
I walked up to the back gate. I was sure my steps were audible, but Tanaka didn’t turn around, just stared at some spot below her knees. Her back was turned to me, so I couldn’t make out her expression. I called her surname clearly, but she didn’t react. I called out to her one more time. Her head and waist turned slowly back, but her voice was as disconnected from her expression as Chika’s was.
“What?”
Why? Why are you here? Why are you talking to me?
Why are you still alive when Allumi’s dead?
I heard all those questions in her voice. Time to do what I had come here to do.
“I came here to talk to you.”
Tanaka gave no reaction. Even her face didn’t budge an inch.
I decided to continue.
“I killed Allumi.”
Still, no reaction. She just stared at me.
“I came here in the middle of the night and took Allumi away. I had it tied up somewhere else, but I was too lax and it slipped the collar and escaped. That’s why Allumi died.”
“Wha…?”
It was a gasp of a sound that nearly disappeared into the rain.
“You can report me if you like.”
“The hell are you saying?”
Nothing moved besides her lips.
“You don’t have to forgive me.”
“You…” Her voice crackled from deep within her throat. She stared at my face. Her half-parted lips began to tremble, which finally erupted across her whole face as she stared at me. “What the hell…”
She just stared.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!”
She flung her open umbrella at me, but it got caught on its own air resistance and fell to the ground at my feet.
Tanaka crumpled to her knees on the spot, sobbing. Large raindrops fell onto her yellow T-shirt, covering it in splotches.
Leaving someone to get soaked in the rain was equal to a crime in my mind, but I had nothing more to say to the devastated girl, nor would it be helpful for me to try, so I left the large traditional house behind.