“I love me some fried chicken!”
I sank my teeth into the breading, which yielded in my mouth with a satisfying crunch. A rush of juices filled my mouth, and the invigorating scent of spices tickled my nostrils. Nothing beat fried chicken fresh out of the oil.
“You’re an amazing chef, you’re attentive, and you’re the second cutest girl in the world,” I remarked. “Yep—you’ll definitely make a great wife, Shigure. As your older brother, I guarantee it! Ahaha!”
I gave my heartfelt praise to the girl sitting across from me. She really was something else. Ever since her arrival, I’d enjoyed one bountiful meal gracing my dinner table after another. I couldn’t thank her enough.
“Um, I just have one question,” Shigure spoke as soon as I tried to convey my feelings.
“Hm? Go ahead.”
“You’re being 50% more disgusting than usual. What’s with the good mood?”
Ahaha, this girl! Ya gotta love her! Making a scathing remark after I showered her with all those compliments. Classic Shigure.
Yet, right now, those spiteful words were music to my ears. Why, you ask?
“I'm going out with Haruka tomorrow,” I explained. “With midterms out of the way, we’ll finally be able to have our first real date in a while. We’ve only been studying together recently, so my excitement is through the roof! Seriously, I am pumped. I don’t think I could hate anyone in this beautiful, wide world right now. Even if someone did something as heinous as drenching my chicken with lemon juice, I could forgive them.”
“Well then, don’t mind if I do,” Shigure replied.
Splash!
“Urgh...” I groaned.
“Well? Can you forgive me?”
“Yep. I forgive you. You’re on thin ice, though—and it’s real close to cracking.”
“You’re surprisingly petty.”
Petty? If this had been any other time, I would’ve opened fire on the spot. My capacity to turn the other cheek was quite impressive, if I did say so myself—I was basically Mother Theresa over here.
I was munching on some soggy, sour chicken and contemplating my virtuous nature when my cell phone rang. The call was toll-free, and the name displayed on the screen was one I was very familiar with.
“Haruka!” I cried out.
“She’s definitely going to bail on you at the last moment,” Shigure chimed in.
“Don’t jinx me!”
“70% of the time, when a woman bails on you, it means, ‘I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’ve come to realize that you’re so gross that the idea of being seen with you creeps me out. Never come anywhere near me again, thanks.’”
“No! Even if she is canceling on me, Haruka is different! I’m answering the phone, so be quiet for a minute.”
“Alrighty.”
Once I’d confirmed that Shigure’s cheeks were stuffed full of fried chicken, I walked into the hallway and answered the phone.
“Hello,” I said.
“Good evening, Hiromichi. This is Haruka. Is now a good time?”
“Yeah, it is. I was eating dinner, but I just left the living room.”
“Oh, really? Sorry for the bad timing. Should I call you back later?”
“No, it’s fine as long as we keep it short. What’s up?”
“Okay, I’ll keep this brief. About tomorrow’s date...”
“Er...”
I immediately grew uneasy. Had Shigure predicted the future? Would she seriously bail on me at the last moment?
“So it’s been two months since we started dating, right?” Haruka asked.
“Y-Yeah.”
“During that time, we’ve started calling each other by our first names. It’s still kind of embarrassing, but we’re also holding hands when we walk around. And at my house the other day, things started to h-heat up a little, right? I-I think the two of us are doing really well...”
“I-I agree...”
“Y-You mentioned something about our future before, right? If we were able to hold hands after only one month, we’d probably get along well for the rest of our lives?”
“Y-Yeah, I did say that...”
Just thinking back on it made me cringe. Why had I ever uttered the words “for the rest of our lives” as a high schooler?
D-Don’t tell me...
Haruka had laughed the comment aside at that time, but had Shigure been right? Had I actually managed to creep my girlfriend out? As I recalled Shigure’s recent comments, a chill ran down my spine.
“That... made me really happy,” Haruka continued. “It made me understand just how much you wanted to be with me, so I realized that I needed to make more of an effort.”
“‘Make more of an effort’? To do what?”
“To take our next big step as a couple.”
“BIG STEB?!”
“Eep! I-I just wanted to tell you that today! If I didn’t just bite the bullet and call you, I would’ve lost the courage to voice my thoughts! W-Well, I’ll be waiting at the station tomorrow at noon! Goodnight!”
Haruka must’ve gotten embarrassed by my strange outburst. She quickly fired off an answer—as if running away—and hung up the phone. The receiver beeped several times, indicating that the call had ended, but it remained plastered to my ear. I stood stock still, Haruka’s words repeating in my head over and over again like a broken record. She’d been very clear in expressing herself—there’d been no room to misunderstand or dodge the issue.
My brain processed her words at the speed of dial-up internet. Once I’d finally managed to decipher them, I fell into a manic state of happiness, surprise, and excitement.
“Sh-Shigure! Shigure, Shigure, Shigure!” I cried, racing into the living room to seek salvation.
“Yes, yes. I’m here, I’m here,” Shigure replied. “There aren’t four of me, though.”
“I just got off the phone with Haruka. Apparently, she wants to take the next b-big step as a couple tomorrow! That’s what she just said!”
“Oh! I mean... wow. Isn’t that nice?” Shigure’s eyes had widened for a split second, but her expression quickly returned to one of disinterest. “So you want to gush about Haruka while we eat fried chicken? Not exactly the most appetizing thing to talk about during dinner.”
“No! Since we held hands just recently, the next step has got to be... th-that, right?! H-Hugging each other?!”
“When it comes to matters of love, you really do think small, Big Bro.”
What? No hug?!
“But if not that, then what in the world...?” I trailed off.
“At your stage, the ‘next step’ usually refers to a kiss, right?”
“K-Kiss?! A g-girl? With my l-lips?”
Are you kidding me?! Wait, it’s normal for couples to kiss, right? I mean, I’ve even felt the opportunity arise a few times before, but still! You’re telling me we’re going to slide all the way to first base tomorrow?! In less than 24 hours, Haruka’s pouty lips are going to press against my—no, it’s too much!
“Oh shit, my heart’s racing!” I cried. “H-Hey, Shigure! What’s the right way to kiss someone? I’ve never done this before! Is there any sort of etiquette you have to follow no matter what?! Is there anything that girls hate?! You’re good at this stuff, right?! Teach me everything you know!”
Shigure glared at me reproachfully. “And just who do you think I am?”
I figured that Shigure had ample experience in that department, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
Her expression changed into her trademark malicious grin, and the depths of her narrow eyes glistened with a sadistic light. That was when I knew—the next time she’d open her mouth, it would be to utter something horrible.
“Still... if you’re feeling so uneasy, why don’t you spend the rest of the night practicing?” she suggested.
“Huh? Practice what? Kissing?”
“Exactly. Look, you have the perfect training partner right here. I’m your precious girlfriend’s twin sister. We have the same face, body, voice, and even scent.”
“Wha—?!”
“Why use me as your little Haruka guinea pig? That way, you won’t make a fool of yourself tomorrow.”
See! I knew it’d be something awful! This girl never stops running her mouth!
“Don’t be stupid!” I shouted. “I could never do something like that!”
“I don’t mind at all, though.”
“You should, though! As a girl, you shouldn’t even make jokes like that!”
“Heh. You’re such a nice guy, Big Bro. No, not nice—soft. If you keep that up, your relationship with Haruka won’t last much longer,” she warned in a chilling tone.
What?
I looked back at her, but she wasn’t wearing her usual impish grin. No, this was the cruel smirk of someone looking down on an insect.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“I meant exactly what I said. Haruka’s going to break up with you soon.”
“H-How can you be so sure?”
“Because I know it for a fact. Any girl would get sick of you being so passive. You should try to be more like, let’s see... Aizawa, the guy from our class. You’d do well to his type of kindness.”
“Huh?! That guy?!” I shouted without thinking.