She seemed to find this hilarious. Admittedly, I wasn’t all that upset myself. After all, it sounded way easier to write letters to everyone else instead—and a lot more fun, too. Since we wouldn’t be sharing them, we could be as honest as we wanted.
As I contemplated who to write to first, Looney snickered with a knowing grin on her face. “This way, even Mr. Suave might actually remember what’s important to him! Oh, uh, disregard that. I didn’t say it on purpose just to make you mull over it in the back of your mind.”
“Wha… Hey, no fair!”
As I frowned in puzzlement, she looked at me and laughed even harder. What sort of person would she be in ten years’ time? I was really looking forward to writing to her.
By “Mr. Suave,” she probably meant Zuka-kun… What’s the story there?
But before I knew it, it was time to go our separate ways.
In the end, the only person who actively opposed the change was Mickey. She stormed over to Looney and pinched her cheeks. “I! Already! Finished! Mine!”
I was impressed. Knowing her, she probably had a crystal-clear vision of where she wanted to be in ten years. And since I didn’t want all her hard work to go to waste, I suggested we all still write a self-addressed letter but with no length requirement. This was the compromise that resolved the conflict.
Fortunately, she seemed enthusiastic about writing more letters. She claimed she “could use a break from studying.”
This just left Kyou-kun. When Looney broke the news to him, she had him backed against the wall like she was mugging him.
“You don’t gotta show anyone, so just write whatever you want,” Zuka-kun explained casually.
“Uggghhh,” Kyou-kun groaned.
Nothing against Zuka-kun, but I could understand how Kyou-kun felt. Even if we didn’t have to say it out loud, even if no one else ever found out, it was hard to imagine our feelings mattered enough to be immortalized. But his deserved to be expressed.
I smiled encouragingly. “He’s right, Kyou-kun.”
Later, on the way home, Kyou-kun, Looney, and I all stopped by the stationery store. When we found out he’d been writing his letter on a torn-out scrap of notebook paper, we decided to make him buy actual stationery…and by we, I mostly mean Looney.
“Where’s the romance in a scrap of notebook paper? It’s thoughtless!” she scolded him.
In the end, he picked out a sky-blue stationery set—a hopeful, ambitious color. Since we were here, I went ahead and bought some that indicated the page number with little kittens, and Looney bought a strawberry-scented eraser.
Then, after I got home that evening, I sat down and wrote the first letter in its entirety. Compared to the days I’d spent agonizing over my self-letter, it was obvious just how deeply I cared about my friends, and at first, I was tickled pink. But then I started to wonder what they were going to write to me, and my brain wouldn’t let me sleep.
Dear Zuka-kun,
I’m actually really embarrassed to write about how I feel right now. Ever since I cried in front of you back in April, I’ve felt like such a pathetic loser, and I wish I could crawl in a hole and die. But of course, even then, I’m not half as embarrassed as I am grateful. It meant a lot that you were willing to share your secret with me to make me feel better.
You seem like a laid-back, carefree guy, but in reality, you’re the one who’s paying the closest attention to the rest of us. You have a responsible side that I respect very much. Because of that, I imagine that in ten years’ time, you’ll have made your dreams come true. Who knows—maybe you flew back to Japan specifically to help us dig up the time capsule. I wouldn’t be surprised if your future girlfriend or wife wore the pants in the relationship.
Out of everyone in the group, I think you and I are the most different from each other, but I dearly hope we’ll still be friends ten years from now. Until then, I’ll try to be the kind of person who can cheer you up when you’re sad.
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen your arrow, not once. But no matter where it points, I support it with my whole heart, just like I support your ambitions.
Early Sunday morning, dozens of students reported to the local prep school to take a mock written exam. Zuka-kun was in the same classroom as me, though we were on opposite sides of the room.
When lunchtime rolled around, we met up in the cafeteria, me with my packed lunch and him with the sandwich he bought from the corner store. One by one, the other three turned up to join us.
“Terribly sorry to interrupt your date, but is this seat taken?” Looney asked in a simpering voice.
For some reason I was sick to my stomach with anxiety, despite the fact that it was only a mock test, but her smug smirk made me feel a little better. Then Mickey and Kyou-kun showed up. For a total coward like me, it was deeply reassuring to see some familiar faces here in this unfamiliar environment.
For a while, we sounded like stereotypical students, complaining about certain questions on the test and arguing over English sentence structure. But eventually, the topic shifted to the time capsule. Due to the recent rule change, the deadline had been extended for an additional two weeks, starting last Friday.
“Has everyone finished professing their love? You’d better hurry up or I’ll take it all for myself,” Looney joked.
I glanced at Kyou-kun and Mickey. Normally Looney’s teasing would get me all flustered, but this time I was in on the scheme. Plus, I knew why she was doing it, so I couldn’t really stop her.
“Well, uh, so far I’ve only written an angry diatribe about Zuka,” Mickey joked back, trying to camouflage her bashfulness.
“Likewise,” Zuka-kun grinned.
“Well, I love both of you,” Looney replied serenely, her deadpan voice adding a hilarious contrast, and Kyou-kun laughed.
It was just another ordinary lunchtime, and yet it must’ve worked wonders on me. After I sailed through my afternoon tests, I was really starting to feel confident about my prospects.
On the way home, we stopped by a burger joint and made small talk for another half an hour and then decided to call it a day. Third-years didn’t have time to truly relax; once we got home, we’d hit the books all over again.
Instead of asking my mother to pick me up, I caught a ride on the back of Kyou-kun’s bike. Honestly, I knew I shouldn’t, but it was a little too far to walk. Beside us, Looney rode on Zuka-kun’s bike as we took a path no cars could follow.
If Mickey lived in our neighborhood, I would’ve let her take my place instead…but then it occurred to me that Kyou-kun would probably get so nervous, the whole bike would topple over. The thought made me laugh.
Then, with a wave, we parted ways with Zuka-kun and Looney. I told Kyou-kun I could walk the rest of the way, but he insisted he may as well take me all the way home.
“What were you laughing about just now?” he asked.
“Oh, I was just thinking… If Mickey were here instead of me, you’d get nervous and probably crash your bike.”
“Wha?! I mean…well…yeah…”
“Thought so. Did you finish writing your letter to her?”
Technically it wasn’t really a “letter” at all, since we weren’t going to give them to their recipients, but still.
“Not yet,” he answered, shaking his head.
“Well, you have to write one. And you have to be a hundred percent honest.”
“Nnnn…”
“Seriously, I really think you should.”
For a while, he didn’t respond. I started to get nervous—maybe I was being too nosy, and he didn’t appreciate it? Then the bicycle slowly rolled to a stop. We had arrived at my house.
“Thanks,” I told him as I hopped off.
“I’m scared,” he replied without looking at me.
“Of what?”
Deep down, I knew the answer, but the flow of the conversation forced me to ask anyway, and I felt awful about it. He smiled awkwardly at me, the way he did whenever Looney teased him.
“A lot of things.”
Yeah, that makes sense.
We waved goodbye. Once he disappeared from sight, I turned in the opposite direction and prayed for him.
Dear Looney,
Up until recently, I was always a tiny bit afraid of you. Whenever you looked at me, it felt like you could see right through me. You’re always casually joking around, but I get the sense that you pay more attention to people’s feelings than you let on, and it used to frighten me. But not anymore.